This Trust of Mine

by Amanda Bennett

  "Yeah, but you guys will make it work."

  "I know, it just sucks. How am I supposed to trust him, when I'm hundreds of miles away?"

  I couldn't help the laughter that came rushing out of me. "Are you seriously asking me?"

  "I'm sorry hun. I forgot."

  "Really, it's okay. We'll get through it. Anyway, you all ready to go?"

  "Yep, how do I look?"

  "Like a million bucks." I smiled. "Tell Joey I said hey."

  Cami stopped midstride to my bedroom door. "Speaking of which, what's going on there?"

  My eyebrows pulled together in confusion. "I'm not sure what you mean."

  "Oh you know exactly what I mean. You can't tell me you haven't noticed how hot that boy is. He is sex on a stick. Man, if I wasn't dating his older brother and if he had tattoos, I would be all over that hot piece of man."

  I playfully shoved her out of my way. "Shut up, it's not like that."

  "Yeah, yeah, we all heard the friends only talk and trust me when I say, that boy wants more than friendship with you."

  "God, I wish everybody would just leave that shit alone."

  "Kayla Anne, watch your mouth."

  "Sorry Gran." I looked back at Cami coming down the stairs behind me with an angry face.

  "Sorry." She whispered.

  When we reached the bottom step, both my grandparents turned to look at Cami. "Oh honey, you look amazin'. If that snooty family don't like ya, we'll take ya." My grandmomma giggled before taking Cami's hands into her own. "Just remember, no man is worth keepin' if his family can't accept ya for who ya are. Remember that honey. Oh, and have a good time."

  "Thanks, Mrs. James. I'll see you all a little bit later."

  We all gave a wave in Cami's direction before I politely excused myself and headed out the back door. When I got to the top of the hill and spotted the empty patch of land below the overgrown willow tree, I let out a sigh of relief. I needed some time to myself and being around Madison lately seemed to cloud my judgment, more than I cared for. I sat back against the old weathered tree stump closing my eyes, and letting the worries from today wash away. I was determined to make this whole friends thing work with him, if it was the last thing I did.

  Chapter 17

  Madison

  After I was done pacing a nice worn line in the carpet of my room, I finally made my way out to the back porch. I had been waiting for almost an hour for my grandparents to return, but I had yet to hear anything from them. It wasn't like my grandfather to tell me to be home for dinner, and then not be here. I was starting to get worried and since neither one of them had a cell phone, I decided to just sit in one of the rocking chairs and wait.

  I heard the door crack open about a half hour later and I practically jumped out of my chair out back, running towards the echoing sounds of my grandparent's voices in the foyer. When I caught sight of them still standing there, I noticed my grams brushing away a few stray tears. I quickly hid on the other side of the archway that led into the kitchen. I stood listening to her sobbing before my grandfather's voice broke through her crying.

  "It's gonna be okay dear. I promise you, we will make sure everything is in order before anything happens. Dr. Tompkins even said I still have a good two or three months. Now I know it's not a lot, but it's enough time to get things in order. Now quiet your cryin' before Madison hears ya. I'm not ready to let him know."

  My mouth went dry and the stray tear that was runnin' down my cheek seared the skin below. If I had just heard them correctly, my grandfather only had a few months left to live? How could they not have told me this sooner? How could they let me go off to school, possibly knowing what might happen?

  Anger took over and I suddenly needed to get out of there. I quickly took off out the back door before either one of them could catch sight of me. I kept running until I was in the safety of that open spread of land. I bent over with my hands on my knees, tryin' to catch my breath as I held back my unshed tears. I hadn't noticed her there, until I felt her smooth cool skin against my arm. I looked up into her worried eyes and just lost it. I wrapped my arms around her body and let my sobs take over.

  Eventually the tears stopped and the worry faded, leaving just the two of us. I looked up into her eyes and saw the worry and care that sat behind them.

  "I'm sorry." I whispered behind her ear as I brought her into a deep hug.

  "For what? You never have to be sorry with me."

  I simply nodded and pulled her in deeper. I couldn't explain what was going on just yet, especially to her after everything we were dealing with between us, but soon. For now, I just needed her to hold me close. If she only knew that everything else in my world was falling apart, everything besides her.

  "What are you doin' out here?"

  "Me? I just needed some alone time. It can get pretty suffocating in there at times." She replied with a smile as she pointed towards her house. "Madison, are you okay?"

  I sat back away from Kayla, as I took in the sad look on her face. I could tell she was searching my face for some semblance of an answer. As much as I wanted to shout from the rooftops how much I love her and want to be with her, I couldn't help but wonder if all of this was happening the way it was, for a reason. Maybe right now, all I needed was a friend. Someone who I knew, no matter what, I could always depend on, without having to worry about how our relationship might be affected. "Yeah, I'm okay." After that I just sat there with her in silence, wondering how I was goin' to get through the next couple of months.

  "Did Cami get off to dinner with Glenn okay?"

  "Yeah, she was nervous. Are his parents really as bad as Joey says?"

  "They can be." I pushed some dirt around aimlessly with a stick tryin' not to make eye contact with her. "I mean, it just depends. I don't think Cami has anything to worry about though."

  I watched her out of the corner of my eye as she nodded her head in agreement. I knew what I was doing, but I couldn't help it. I wasn't ready to let her all the way in. I checked the time on my phone realizing that I had been out here for quite some time. It was nine thirty and I knew if I didn't get my ass back to the house, my grandfather would have it on a platter.

  "Hey, I gotta get goin'. I'll talk to you soon I'm sure."

  "Okay.

  I gave her a halfhearted smile and quickly placed a small kiss to her cheek, before taking off in the direction of my house.

  "Hey, Madison?"

  "Yeah?" I shouted back.

  "If you need to talk, I'm always around. Are you sure you're okay?"

  "Yeah. Thanks Kayla." It sounded short and snide, but now just wasn't the time.

  All the lights were still on and I silently chastised myself, knowing damn good and well that my grandparents were waitin' up for me. When the screen door creaked open, my grandfather's voice bellowed throughout the entire house.

  "Where the hell have you been boy? I told you to be here for dinner."

  I thought about just letting him know what I had heard, but changed my mind when I took in the angry look on his face. I wanted to tell him off right there. I wanted to lay into him, letting him know that I knew there was no dinner, or at least there wasn't when I had gotten here. But I didn't. I couldn't bring myself to say anything. There had to be a reason he hadn't told me yet, and I was willing to give him the time to tell me on his own.

  "I'm sorry sir. I lost track of time." I sat in the chair across from him when I realized that dinner still hadn't been made and my grams was nowhere to be found. "Where's grandma?"

  "Your grandmother turned in early. She wasn't feelin' well. I reckon I should be off to bed now that I know you're safe. Sleep well son. We'll see ya in the mornin'."

  "K." It was all I could think to say as my grandfather made his way upstairs.

  I watched him disappear into his room, before I decided to head out and find somethin' to do. I knew what I wanted to do, but I wanted and what I should be doin' seemed to be two different things lately.


  I put my truck in drive and slowly made my way to the end of the drive, just as I caught sight of Kayla at the end of her drive. I was just about to turn in her direction, taking it as a sign from god that I should be hangin' out with her instead of getting into trouble, when I saw headlights pull up beside her. I couldn't tell who was in the driver seat from this distance and with the glare from the headlights, so I decided to turn mine off and wait. I sat back and waited as the headlights grew closer with every passing second. Finally, just as they passed right in front of me, I caught sight of who it was that Kayla was taking off with, Joey Green.

  Damn it! Why couldn't that damn kid ever take a fuckin' hint? Even when we were younger he couldn't take a hint. We used to think of everything imaginable to get him to leave us alone, but he never did. He was a persistent little shit, I would give him that much. But this time, he was fuckin' with somethin' that I wasn't willin' to let go of. So I did the only thing I could think of, I followed them.

  I followed Joey and Kayla in his parent's expensive Jaguar all the way into town, when they finally pulled into the parking lot of the local movie rental place. I drove past and pulled into one of the parking spaces on the street. I watched as he walked around to let her out of the passenger side of the car. Stupid gentlemanly thing to do. Asshole.

  I slumped down in the seat enough to where I thought they couldn't see me, until she almost did. I slipped all the way down between the steering wheel and the seat and prayed that she wouldn't walk over. If she did, number one she would fucking kill me and number two, well, she would fucking kill me. I wasn't good with either of those options, so I waited a good ten minutes before pulling myself back up. I swear I was gonna leave, but I just had to see where they were going next. I knew good and well that her grandma was on my side and wouldn't let that brown nosing little shit into her house, but that didn't mean Kayla wouldn't try to sneak him in.

  They finally emerged from the movie store twenty minutes later. The longest twenty minutes of my life, and then they were driving again. I followed them all the way to the end of Joey's street. I then decided that now that I knew they were going to be around Cami and Glenn, I was okay with that. Okay, I wasn't okay with it, but it was better than those two being alone. Suddenly and unexpectedly, I was extremely jealous. I wanted to be the one that was with her, watching movies with her, and holding her. Fuck, I just wanted to be with her, in every aspect. Unfortunately, I needed to focus on my grandfather right now, so if Joey was who was there to comfort her then I would have to learn to deal with it. We were friends after all, or at least that's what we agreed we would be. And that's all I could manage at the moment.

  Stupid fucking idea Madison, stupid idea.

  Chapter 18

  Six weeks later

  Kayla

  The last month and a half had basically flown right past me. We were only two weeks into October and I was so ready for the four-day weekend break we had coming up from school. Madison had taken our "just friends" thing to heart, making zero attempt to touch, kiss or be near me after the night he was crying out by the tree. Since that night, he had made it pretty clear that we needed to keep it as platonic as possible, which was nearly killing me. But having Madison in my life meant more to me than anything and I wasn't willing to throw all that away, because I wanted more than he did, it seemed.

  Something in Madison had changed shortly after that night. We were closer than ever now, but when we were together, it felt like he was a million miles away. I tried a few times to bring it up, to ask why he was so closed off, but he always seemed to play it off like it was no big deal. I had started making it a habit to go by and see his grandmother as often as I could. Since the first time I had met her, I had fallen in love with her. It also gave me a good excuse to see Madison everyday, if I hadn't already.

  The last time I had gone over, I explained to Lydia what was going on with Madison, but she had absolutely no insight into the situation. If anything, she almost made it seem like it wasn't a big deal either. I was determined to find out why he was so distant towards me, of all people. Our friendship had definitely taken a turn for the better over the last week. He would drop me off at school and pick me up every Wednesday, knowing it was my only day off of work, besides Sundays. I looked forward to Wednesdays almost like I looked forward to Christmas. Not that I didn't usually have butterflies before seeing him anyway, but on Wednesdays I could barely get through classes because of my nerves.

  I had just come out of my only class without Joey in it, when I felt a hand on my lower back.

  "Hey, Jo."

  "How did you know it was me?" He slipped his arm over my shoulders like he did every time he walked me to our next class.

  "Because you're the only person who does that. You know one of these days people are going to start getting the wrong impression of us."

  "So, what if they do?"

  I stopped in the middle of the hallway as soon as those words left his mouth. People maneuvered their way around us as I stood staring up into Joey's eyes. "Joey you know it's not like that between us, why would you even say that?"

  "Calm down killer. I was just joking. Everyone knows we are just friends. Well, everyone except Madison."

  My heart skipped a beat every time I heard his name and now was no exception. I nudged Joey in the ribs and continued onto class with him. Over the last little while, Joey and I had progressively spent more and more time together. Because Madison had been to an extent, keeping his distance, I needed a friend to fill in the time I wasn't spending with him.

  Things had gone really well with Cami and Glenn's parents, so she was here visiting every chance she got. With the long weekend coming up, she was coming to stay with me, thanks to Glenn. He was footing the bill for her to fly out here and we were going to spend the last warm weekend we had, down at the hole and going to the band's next show.

  Glenn and Madison had been busy gearing up and practicing for the big music festival next month and this would be their big practice gig before that. I was so proud of Madison. Even though he had decided to quit baseball, which I thought was a huge mistake at first, I was slowly starting to realize that his true passion was music. He was an entirely different person when he was on stage. He looked at ease and carefree. He exuded confidence like no one I had ever witnessed before. Given the fact that he was one of the hottest singers I had ever laid eyes on, didn't hurt either. I had gone to every single practice they had and I made sure to try to make it to every show they booked. Madison never said so, but I knew he liked having me there.

  Joey's voice pulled me out of my revelry when he lowered his voice, so only I could hear him. "Welcome to biology, Miss James."

  "Ha ha very funny. Sorry."

  "No worries. I love being totally ignored for five minutes by the most beautiful girl on campus."

  "Shut up Jo, and go to your seat." I knew he meant nothing by his little comments, but lately, I was starting to worry that he was beginning to get the wrong idea.

  The rest of the day seemed to drag ass. I was itching to get out of school and hang out with Madison. He had cancelled our little after school tradition last week, saying somethin' about havin' to help out around the farm. Of course, I was extremely bummed out, but he said he had something extra special for us to do this week to make up for it.

  Finally, the last bell of the day rang and I rushed through the rows of desks to get out the door before I got caught up in the mob of students. I had just made it out the door, when I heard Joey shouting my name from behind me. I wanted to turn around and talk to him, but I wanted to see Madison more, so I ended up completely ignoring him.

  I pushed open the double doors with a hulk like force and went running down the sidewalk looking for Madison's lifted black truck. My heart dropped as I noticed he wasn't in his usual spot, waiting for me. I did a once over of the entire lot, but came up empty. Where the hell was he? It wasn't like Madison to not call or text, to let me know he wouldn't be showing up. I
decided I would wait a little while longer before texting him, hoping that maybe he was just running a little late.

  Just as I checked the time on my phone for the fifteenth time, I heard Joey's boisterous voice behind me. I quickly turned, hoping he hadn't seen me sitting all alone. But, it was too late. I knew he could tell by the look on my face that Madison was a no show.

  "Were is the knight in shining armor?"

  I so wasn't in the mood to deal with his shit, so I ignored him and started walking towards the end of the lot.

  "KJ, wait up. I was just jokin'." I could hear his footsteps gaining on me as the tears that were getting ready to betray me welled up behind my eyelids.

  "I know you were. It's okay, I'm just gonna call my granddad and have him come get me."

  "KJ, slow down. I can give you a ride home, it's not a problem."

  "It's okay Jo, you have football practice."

  His arms wrapped gently wrapped my waist pulling my back into his chest, and that's when I lost it. All the emotions that I had been bottling up inside over the last month and a half, came flooding out of me. I turned in his arms, burying my face in his hardened chest. As I stood there crying all over Joey's shirt, he started rubbing small circles across my back. Oddly enough, it made my tears disappear.

  "KJ, I'm sorry he didn't show up again." I could feel his warm tantalizing breath across my wet cheeks, as he whispered into my ear.

  "I guess I should just give up on thinking I mean as much to him as he means to me. Obviously, he had other plans." I pushed myself off of Joey's chest and wiped the tears from my eyes. "Just go to practice Joey, I'll be fine."

  Joey stood in front of me with his hands pushed into the front pockets of his jeans. He looked as though he was thinking long and hard about somethin', but I didn't want to pester him into telling me, like I had done so many times with Madison.

  "Hey, how about I blow off practice today and we go and do something fun. I've been needing a bit of a break anyway."