“But why rock music?”
“Because despite what you and your fellow artistes may think, rock music is one of the great twentieth-century art forms. It has the ability to transcend the artificial barriers of language and nationality and speak instinctively to the whole world in a way that other kinds of music have never quite done. It communicates on a much more basic and fundamental level than any culture’s classical music. It’s aggressive. It’s sexy. It beats on some primal pulse. Its rhythm evokes an intuitive and emotional response. And,” he added grinning, “on a less pompous note, I like it.”
“I ... I’ll try it, Luke.”
They rode for a while in companionable silence. Since her decision to jump in with both feet, as Luke had put it, he had been—for him—undemanding and easygoing with her. He must realize how difficult this was going to be for her. And for him? He always went ahead with such confidence and sureness she tended to forget that he was a human being like her with fears, hurts, and vulnerabilities. Presumably the long hard years of his early career had taught him to have confidence in his strength and personal worth. She wondered what he had been like in the early years, young, poor, unknown, and unrecognized. Had he always possessed this strong magnetism? Had he been so sure of his needs and wants even then?
She snuggled closer to him.
“Cold?” he asked.
“No,” she said huskily.
Luke drove dangerously fast the rest of the way home.
* * * *
The football game was fantastic. Matthew cheered loud enough for both of them, since Nina wasn’t supposed to scream. But she ate and drank and jumped up and down to her heart’s content. How could she have given up football during her marriage? She must have been crazy. Luke might argue about whether or not football was exciting, but he would never try to insist she not go to a game just because he didn’t want to go.
“What do you want to eat?” Matthew asked later as they were leaving.
“Pizza, pizza, pizza!” she cried, jumping up and down like their nieces.
“You’re very happy lately,” Matthew remarked later over a pizza piled high with every ingredient on the menu. “Is it because of Luke?”
“I guess so, Matt. Everything’s been going well this year, but he’s the only thing that’s different.”
“Him and Rigoletto.”
“Yes, and Rigoletto.” Nina’s triumphant appearance as Gilda was sparking a lot of interest in her career. She was beginning to hear of some exciting possibilities for the future. “I’m trying to keep a clear head. It’s times like this that I almost miss Philippe. He had good instincts where my career was concerned.”
“What about Luke?”
“He doesn’t know anything about opera. He knows a lot about ambition, though. He encourages me, but I’m sure he would back away from giving me advice. He lectures me a lot, but he never pontificates.”
“You’re in deep with him?”
“Getting there. It’s very ... hard.”
“How long have you known him?”
“Not long. We actually met at that music awards ceremony on TV. But I’ve only been involved with him for a few weeks. And, in fact, he went away for ten days right after I started seeing him regularly.”
“He’s a nice guy, Nina. And smart. I’ve never seen anyone change Joe’s mind before.” There was a pause.
“You didn’t like him?” Nina asked hesitantly.
“No, no, I liked him a lot.”
“What’s wrong?”
“I don’t mean to sound like an old lady, Nina, but he’s probably led a very different kind of life—”
“I know that.”
“I mean as regards women.”
“Oh.”
“Even Mom fell for him, did you notice? It’s a good thing Pop was too busy arguing to notice or he might have been jealous.
“I just mean, a guy like that, leading the life of a rock star ... I just don’t want to see you go through what you went through with Philippe.”
“Luke’s always been honest with me, Matt. Whatever happens, I don’t think ‘cheating’ will be involved.”
“I hope you’re right, kid. I’m probably worrying about nothing. Anyhow, he’s obviously crazy about you. I lost track of how many times he looked at you while I was glowering at him.”
They changed the subject and talked easily over the rest of their meal. Afterward Matthew gave her a burly bearhug and they said goodbye. Nina went home.
He’d given her food for thought. There were a lot of women in Luke’s past, obviously, but what about his future? Had she usurped someone? Would someone usurp her? She remembered the humiliation and the hurt of feeling expendable at the end of her marriage. No one was going to destroy her self-worth like that again.
If Luke was puzzled over her coldness that evening, he let it pass without comment. He didn’t spend the night, however. She got the message loud and clear. If she wanted to tell him what was bugging her, she could. If not, he wasn’t going to let her pick a fight with him over something inconsequential.
He was right; they argued enough as it was. Her normal mood was restored the next morning, so she went over to his apartment eager to see him.
An attractive, middle-aged blond woman opened the door.
“One look at you tells me you must be Nina,” she said. She took Nina’s small hand in a crushing handshake and drew her inside. “Luke said you looked like a human incarnation of Saks Fifth Avenue.”
“Oh,” Nina answered, somewhat bewildered.
“I’m Kate.”
“Oh, you’re Kate. I’m pleased to—”
“Kate!” Luke hollered impatiently. “This conversation isn’t over yet.” He stormed into the hallway. “Can’t you—oh, Nina. What are you doing here?”
“Good morning!” she said brightly.
“Maybe you can talk some sense into him,” Kate said.
“You leave her out of this, dammit!”
“Nina, surely you understand—”
“Don’t push it, Kate.”
“What’s going on?” Nina asked.
“Luke’s expected—”
“We’ll talk about it tomorrow, Kate.”
“But—”
“Don’t you have anything better to do than ruin my Sunday?”
“You called me,” Kate reminded him.
“What on earth is the matter with you?” Nina demanded. “This woman isn’t even wearing leather.”
“He’s always like this before his first cup of coffee. Haven’t you noticed?” Kate asked conversationally.
“He shouts at me so much I never thought coffee had anything to do with it.”
“True,” admitted Kate. “If only his fans knew what a pain in the—”
“All right, that’s enough. I can’t take both of you at once. One of you please go away. Not you,” he added, hauling Nina into the living room. “Goodbye, Kate. We’ll talk later,” he added and closed the door.
“What was that all about?” Nina demanded breathlessly a few moments later, after his enthusiastic greeting.
“Business. Boring, tedious business. I’ll tell you later.”
“Why not now?”
“Because now,” he said, scooping her up into his arms and heading toward the bedroom, “I’m going to show you how much I missed you last night.”
And so he did. In the magic of his embrace Nina forgot about his dispute with Kate, forgot her plans for the day, would have even forgotten her own name if he hadn’t whispered it over and over in the splendor of the moment.
Nine
“I think you’re being unnecessarily negative,” said Luke.
Nina looked at him skeptically.
“Maybe it’ll wind up being the best evening of your life,” he continued.
Nina’s lip curled slightly.
“Nina, if I didn’t know you better, I’d think you were sneering at me,” he chided.
Nina looked vexed.
&nb
sp; “Really. You’ll have a good time,” he insisted.
Nina sighed heavily, sensing that this was one argument he was determined to win. Nevertheless, she intended to go down fighting.
“You think I’ll have a good time?” she asked mildly.
“Yes.”
“At an anniversary party thrown by your record company. A party full of rock stars and rock fans, rock promoters and rock managers, rock musicians and rock reviewers. A party where they will play loud rock music and serve domestic champagne. A party full of women taller than me and men thinner than me, all of whom will have longer hair than I do.”
“Well...”
“And you are convinced that I, an opera singer hopelessly out of my milieu and frankly disenchanted with rock music, will have the time of my life? Is that your interpretation of the situation, Luke?” She raised her delicate black brows inquisitively and watched him squirm a bit.
“Well, perhaps ‘the best evening of your life’ is a slight exaggeration,” he admitted.
“Give me one good reason why I should go.” She was pretty sure he had prepared several good reasons.
“I’ll give you several good reasons,” he said confidently. “One, it’s part of our agreement to make an effort to get involved in each other’s daily lives.”
“Well ... that’s a fair point,” she admitted.
“Two, it’s awkward to go to these things without a date, and there’s no one but you I want to take.” He frowned at her and added, “Don’t look so smug”
“Sorry.”
“And three...”
“Yes?”
His dark eyes grew soft and soulful as he gazed at her. That look produced what Nina was beginning to think of as Luke’s “silly putty” effect on her; she would do anything for him when he looked at her like that.
“Three ... it would mean a lot to me if you’d go with me, Nina. I really want you to,” he said huskily.
“Well, why didn’t you say so in the first place?” she asked gently. “Of course, I’ll go.”
He pulled her into his arms and rested his forehead against hers.
“You don’t mind?” he asked softly against her lips.
She kissed him back. “If it’s important to you, I want to do it.”
He nuzzled her hair and kissed her neck. “You’re sure you want to go?”
“Uh-huh,” Nina said dreamily as his hands explored her back.
“Because I don’t want to force you or anything,” he purred against her ear.
Nina pushed him away and scowled at him. “All right, you’ve won, but don’t milk it, Luke.”
He grinned wickedly at her, then kissed her, a long, slow, languorous kiss that stole her breath and consumed her body.
“You’re so exasperating,” she whispered breathlessly as he trailed kisses over her face.
“That’s true,” he admitted. “But you don’t let me get away with much. And it will mean a lot to me, Nina.”
“Okay,” she said simply, resting her head against his shoulder. What a wonderful, warm, secure feeling it was to be wrapped in his arms like this. She couldn’t imagine how she had gotten along without it for so long. Luke was always hugging her, holding her hand, kissing her forehead, stroking her hair, physically reassuring her. She had never known anyone so naturally affectionate before, and she found she loved it, was practically becoming addicted to it.
“I thought we could have dinner first with Gingie and her date and then all go together,” Luke said after a while. “That way you two can get to know each other, and you’ll have someone to talk to at the party.”
“Whatever you say,” Nina murmured placidly. She had already given in, might as well let him enjoy it. Anyhow, she wanted to meet Gingie. She hadn’t seen her since the night of the concert to fight famine, but she knew the blond singer was one of Luke’s closest friends.
“It’ll be fun,” Luke assured her. “You’ll like Gingie. You’re a lot like her in some ways—smart, ambitious, classy. Of course, she dresses better than you do.”
Nina glared at him. “If I don’t have a good time, next week I’m going to drag you to see a string quartet.”
Luke looked alarmed. “Oh, Nina, no. Maybe we could—”
“And you’ll have to wear a suit and tie.” That reminded her of another question. “What should I wear to this gala event?”
This casual question sparked off one of their most exhausting adventures together: a shopping trip. Luke decided he wanted to buy her something outrageous for the party.
“So you’ll look like a rock star’s girlfriend,” he explained evilly.
Nina grimaced.
They scoured the mod and new wave boutiques of Greenwich Village. It was an eye-opening experience for Nina who, since her marriage, had always worn clothes either made especially for her or else classic styles from the most elegant stores in Europe and America.
“That looks nice,” said Luke as Nina came out of a cramped dressing room.
“I feel flammable,” she said uncomfortably. She was wearing a bizarre concoction of fringe, lace, feathers, and beads, which managed to be voluminous and very revealing at the same time.
“It’s funky,” Luke said.
“But it’s not me.”
“No, no, I guess it’s not,” he agreed. “But we’re going in the right direction,” he added with a look at her bare stomach and exposed shoulders.
Three hours later they settled on a clingy, metallic outfit with matching gloves and boots. Once again, although her hands and knees were covered, other parts of Nina were conspicuously bare.
“I hope you don’t catch cold,” Luke said.
“I could get arrested. I looked distinctly violent in this thing.”
“You look great.” He kissed her. Nina squirmed uncomfortably. He had been recognized. The shop girls were watching them avidly while Luke’s own voice blared out over the speakers with a song from A Wilder Name.
“Stop squirming,” Luke teased her.
“I want to get out of this dress.”
“Want help?”
“You go pay for it,” she said archly.
They left the boutique with their purchase, leaving the shop girls to moon over Luke Swain, the rock idol.
“Now it’s my turn,” said Nina maliciously. “Come along, Luke.”
“Oh, no, Nina, I don’t think—”
“I do.” She hailed a cab. “Saks Fifth Avenue,” she said to the driver.
They argued all the way there.
“I have plenty of clothes,” Luke said stubbornly.
“So do I, but you just took me shopping for hours.”
“Nina, I don’t want—”
“My treat. It won’t kill you to own one nice, well-tailored, classically styled outfit. Especially if I’m paying for it.”
She dragged him into the store under protest. His reaction to her suggestion of buying a raincoat was not encouraging.
“I don’t need one; I own an umbrella,” he said with the air of someone voicing an obvious, inarguable fact.
“This is a question of fashion, not rain.”
“I feel constrained in those things. They’re long.” He seemed to consider that a sufficient explanation.
Nina relented. She obviously wasn’t going to get him to change his mind, and the salesmen were beginning to get annoyed at Luke’s disparaging comments about their wares.
He wouldn’t consider buying a suit. It was obviously still too early to try to talk to him about a leather coat—she would need time to subtly adjust him to the idea. He insisted he had no use for a tie, and she had given him one on their first date, anyhow. They didn’t see any shoes he liked. The situation looked more promising in the trousers department until he insisted she come into the dressing room to help him out of his jeans.
“I’ve gotten so used to you taking them off for me, I think I’ve forgotten how to do it,” he explained with wide-eyed innocence. Nina trod heavily on his instep and
dragged him away from interested eyes as fast as she could.
They finally reached a pleasing compromise. Nina bought him an expensive cashmere sweater in a creamy, off-white color that complemented his dark good looks.
“I think they overcharged you, though,” he said dubiously.
“Luke, for God’s sake,” Nina said in exasperation. “It’s excellent quality, it will last for years, it won’t go out of style and,” she added viciously, “no helpless little cashmeres died to make it.”
“Yes, darling,” he said obediently. “It’s wonderful. I adore it. Thank you.”
That night Nina hung her funky new outfit in her closet. It looked quite out of place amidst her wardrobe. She hoped she’d have the nerve to actually wear it the night of the party. She smiled wryly. A month ago she would have been appalled at the idea of wearing such an outlandish costume in public.
Luke was certainly loosening her up, she reflected—in many ways. She still had panic-stricken moments when she was alone; she had, after all, let a man sweep her off her feet once before and had lived to regret it deeply. Although she was an older and hopefully wiser woman, once bitten really was twice shy. Luke had been remarkably accurate with that song, considering how little he’d known her when he wrote it. But Luke, as she was discovering, knew quite a lot about human nature.
And now Luke was sweeping her off her feet, daily testing and trying her, pushing her forward step by step, sometimes against her will and better judgment. Nina was still afraid of falling and getting hurt.
She passed the days in a state of constant emotional upheaval as she and Luke tried to adjust to each other’s lifestyles. Luckily, they shared a strong love of jazz and a liking for folk music. This was an important bond between them since, although each liked and respected the other’s work, Luke was having as much trouble adjusting to opera as Nina was having adjusting to rock music.
* * * *
“But it’s all in foreign languages,” he complained when they went to the opera. “How am I supposed to be enthralled if I can’t even understand what they’re saying?”
A Wilder Name Page 13
