“It was a really nice wedding,” she said once he got in the car. “So that’s everyone, right? All your brothers are married?”
He started the car. “One more. Jared gets married in June.”
“And then that’s everyone.”
“Yup.” He pulled out of the lot and followed the line of cars out to Main Street before adding, “Everyone but me.”
She turned on the radio. “Kennedy looked so beautiful. Exactly like a bride should look on her wedding day.”
“Yes. You look beautiful too.” He stole a peek at her legs where the dress had ridden up high.
“Aww…thank you.” She tugged her dress down. “This is my bridesmaid dress for Ally’s wedding, so you’ll see me in it again in two days.”
A silence fell. Finally when he got to a red light, he decided just to dive into the murky emotional mess between them.
“Julia,” he said at the same time she said, “Angel.”
“Sorry, you go ahead,” he said.
“You looked sad at the wedding,” she said.
“So did you.”
“Weddings are hard for me.”
“Because you miss Brad?” he asked.
“No.”
He waited in silence. One of the first things they taught him as a social worker was to quietly listen.
“I just remember my wedding,” she finally said. “How nervous I was. Remember?”
He didn’t. His own gut had been churning, coloring everything through a haze of envy. He only remembered how nervous Brad was. He’d been in the back room of the church with Brad. Julia had been tucked behind closed doors by the entrance of the church so Brad wouldn’t see her gown before the wedding. “Did you have cold feet?”
“Yes.”
He stared straight ahead. What was she trying to tell him? Did she have doubts? Or maybe it was just her natural shyness that made being the center of attention uncomfortable for her.
“The light’s green,” she said.
He blinked and hit the gas. “Julia,” he said slowly, “did you have doubts about marrying Brad, or was it just nerves?”
“Both,” she said softly.
His heart squeezed painfully. “Why did you go through with it?”
She blew out a breath. “Brad needed to be married before he went off to a war zone. He needed something to come home to.”
That hit him like a slap. He pulled over to a quiet side street and parked. He turned to her and watched her expression. “So you married Brad for your duty?”
She wrung her hands together and looked away.
“Julia!” he said half angry, half desperate.
Her head jerked up. “I married Brad for the same reason you agreed to be his best man, even though you didn’t want me marrying him.” He’d never said that in so many words, but she’d gotten the message. “Because we loved him.”
Red-hot rage surged through him. All the wasted years. All the hurt and grief and loss. “Dammit, Julia! Your wedding was the most painful day of my life!”
“It’s too late now!” she exclaimed before adding, “I’m sorry.”
He instantly regretted lashing out at her. Had they both gone into that wedding out of a misplaced sense of duty for their best friend?
His voice came out hoarse. “I just can’t believe I’m hearing this now after all these years.”
She shook her head. “You can’t undo the past. It’s too late.”
He grabbed her by the shoulders. “It’s not too late. I refuse to believe that.”
“Tell me how to fix this and I will!” she cried.
“I don’t know! If I knew, I would’ve fixed it five years ago!”
The look in her eyes pained him—hurt and angry and hopeless. He dropped his hands from her, cursing himself for losing his temper. He was trained for this, for dealing with volatile emotional situations. Why couldn’t he use his social worker skills with her? It was just too close, too painful to have any kind of professional distance.
He wrapped her in a hug, and she rested her head on his chest.
“I don’t want to hurt you.” She sighed. “And I’m tired of hurting.”
And then he knew what they needed to do—forgive. It was the only way to put the past behind them.
“You need to forgive Brad,” he told her, “for lying to you about the adoption. And then you need to forgive yourself for being with me when you were still with him.” And I need to forgive you for leaving me behind, he added silently.
She pulled away and scowled. “I can’t forgive Brad. He ruined everything. And you—” she jabbed a finger in his chest “—I can’t pretend it was just the heat of the moment when I spent the entire weekend screwing you. What I did was wrong, and I can’t forgive myself for that. Brad ended up in the hospital while I was cheating on him.”
“I spent that weekend making love not screwing.”
She threw her hands up. “Same thing!”
“It’s not!”
They stared at each other, at an impasse, so he did the only thing he knew would work. He cupped her neck and pulled her in for a hard kiss, the rough kind that she couldn’t help but respond to, the kind that said this was a lust that could not be denied. And when she melted against him, he pulled away.
He put the car in gear and pulled back onto the main road, heading to the reception.
“What’s happening to us?” she asked. “Are we—should we try to go back to being friends?”
Impossible. “Nope. We’re going to screw some more. You might as well take off your panties now. As soon as you get a chance, you’re going into the ladies’ room at the reception, and I’m going to bend you over and fuck you.”
As if he’d said the most flowery loving words instead of the crudest, she lit up with a smile and wiggled around in her seat, slipping off her panties and holding up the tiny scrap of pink silk to show him before stuffing them in her purse. He wanted to bang his head against the steering wheel in frustration, but his body wouldn’t be denied. He’d been hands off for too long to do anything but take what she offered.
~ ~ ~
Julia wasn’t in the wedding party, so for the first part of the reception she couldn’t sit with Angel, who was at a long table of bridal party people for all the early stuff. It was a sit-down meal and she found herself at a table with some of Angel’s sisters-in-law—Emily, Sophia, Lily, and Zoe. Sophia, Lily, and Zoe were deep in conversation about their pregnancies (Zoe wasn’t pregnant, but she had experience that the other two were eating up). There were some squicky details that Julia tried her best not to overhear. Emily traded seats with Sophia to sit next to Julia.
“We’ll have our own nonpregnant conversation over here,” Emily said with a smile. She was Jared’s fiancée. She and Emily resembled each other a bit, nearly the same height and build, both of them with straight shoulder-length dark brown hair, the fair skin of the Irish, though Emily’s eyes were brown not blue like hers. She’d been super nice ever since Julia arrived. She’d chatted with her a few months ago too at the cooking classes she’d taken with Angel.
“Sounds good,” Julia whispered, not wanting to offend the other women, who were extremely enthusiastic in their oversharing.
“Beautiful wedding, wasn’t it?” Emily asked.
“Absolutely. I loved her gown.”
“Kennedy’s friend Candy knows all the best designers. Mucho money.” Emily rubbed her fingers together. The tuxedoed waiter arrived with their food. They enjoyed Cornish hen, roasted potatoes, and French beans while Emily filled Julia in on her own wedding planning. Julia just smiled and nodded, knowing next to nothing about planning a wedding.
They finished their meal and Emily put a hand on her arm. “You’re such a good listener, I’m afraid I just went on and on.”
“No, it’s fine,” Julia said. “It’s nice. I mean, I’m happy for you.”
Emily beamed. “And I’m so happy to see you here with Angel. Aww, he’s looking at you.”
Julia met Angel’s eye, and he winked. She wiggled her fingers at him.
Emily gave him an enthusiastic wave before turning back to Julia. “He’s so fun. Great guy.”
“Yeah. He’s been my best friend for ten years.”
“But he’s more than that now, right? You’re together?”
Julia flushed. It was so hard to explain without sharing too much. “I don’t know. It’s complicated.”
Emily snorted. “Complicated, I get, believe me.” She lowered her voice and leaned close. “I’ve gotta say the moment I saw you two at cooking class—the way he looks at you, the way you look at him, it’s obvious the love between you.”
Julia clasped her hands tightly together and stared at the table. “We’ve always been close.”
“I don’t mean close like friends. When I saw the way he looked at you, I was glad he let me go. I knew his love for you was so strong he never would’ve had room in his heart for me.”
Julia’s head snapped around. “What do you mean let you go? I thought you were with Jared.”
Emily’s brown eyes went wide. “I am.” She cringed. “I am so sorry. He never mentioned me by name, did he?” She shook her head. “Of course he didn’t, he never mentioned you by name either. I just knew as soon as I saw you together.”
Julia’s hands went clammy even as she felt her cheeks burning. She didn’t like this one bit. Why would Angel put her in this position? Leave her to walk right into a hugely embarrassing situation, sitting and chatting with his ex-lover. She glared at Angel, who didn’t notice because he was busy talking to Jared.
Emily put a hand on her arm. “I’m so sorry! I can see I surprised you, but this doesn’t have to be embarrassing. Angel and I only dated four months and it was more than a year ago. He dumped me because he loved another woman. You. And then I met Jared and I fell for him so hard. Angel is my friend. Jared is my heart. Don’t hold it against me, okay?”
Julia said nothing, frozen in mortification. The super-friendly Emily, who Julia was just starting to get comfortable with, was the girlfriend that had made Angel so happy last year. The one that made Julia so jealous that she wrote an erotic romance to channel all her unfulfilled desires. Angel knew all of this and hadn’t said a peep. Just left it for her to be blindsided at a big family event. How could she ever look Emily in the eye again?
“Julia? Oh, gosh. I should get Angel.”
“No.” Julia forced a smile. “I just need a little walk.”
“I’ll come with you.”
She stood. “That’s okay. I need a few minutes alone.” She headed to the crowded bar area at the far end of the tent so she’d blend in better, not wanting anyone to notice her leaving, and then slipped through the small opening behind it. Off in the distance, she could see the Long Island Sound. It was still afternoon, chilly, but she didn’t care, the breeze off the Sound felt wonderful. She slipped off her heels, glad she hadn’t bothered with pantyhose, and walked barefoot through the grassy lawn to the rough sand beach and further along to the water’s edge, the gently lapping waves soothing her.
She finally stopped at a small rock outcropping and sat, tucking her knees up and wrapping her dress over them. It wasn’t that she begrudged Angel for having a girlfriend. She’d told him to find someone else, sure there was no way for the two of them to ever move forward. But to have it sprung on her like this. She’d chatted with Emily at two cooking classes and at the church earlier with Angel nearby. He’d purposely kept this from her all the while knowing two women he’d slept with were getting friendly. Knowing she’d been so jealous she wrote those books! And how did Jared feel about his fiancée sleeping with his brother first? Holy shit. That must’ve been a doozy. Not a peep about that out of Angel either. The brothers were close, but still, sharing a woman was not something two men did easily. Love didn’t work in threes. She should know.
And Angel’s family! Did they know Angel slept with Emily? Now it was beyond awkward. Why hadn’t Angel told her any of this? That hurt more than anything. She thought they were so close.
She scrambled to her feet. She wanted to go home. Now. She marched back toward the mansion, and then she remembered Angel was her ride. Dammit. She’d get a cab. And she really needed a drink too.
She slipped into the opening of the heated tent and shivered from the sudden temperature change. She stood at the bar, waiting for the bartender’s attention. She’d order a shot of whiskey to warm up and take the edge off. That would be the only thing to make the next half hour or so tolerable while she waited for a cab to show up. She wasn’t even sure where she was. She had to find out the address.
Jared appeared at her side. “Hi, Julia.”
She tensed. “Hi.” She really didn’t want to talk about this awkward situation with him. She was sure Emily had told him by now. She barely knew him, just talked to him at the one cooking class he’d attended.
“So Emily told me she told you about—”
“It’s no problem!” she chirped. Finally the bartender turned her way, and she ordered her whiskey.
She could feel Jared staring at her.
“She didn’t mean to, uh, hurt your feelings,” Jared said.
“It’s fine. No problem.” Her whiskey arrived, and she downed it in one shot. She coughed and wiped her eyes.
“It’s ancient history,” he said.
She met Jared’s eyes. Wow, they were so green. “Does everyone know they were together?” she whispered. And do they know I was so jealous I wrote the Fierce trilogy?
He dipped his head. “It was kind of obvious when me and Angel had a full-out battle on the front lawn after Sunday dinner.”
Her jaw dropped. A full-out battle? And Angel hadn’t mentioned any of that either! She clamped her mouth shut. Here she was confiding every little thing, and Angel had this whole other life he never mentioned!
“Uh-oh,” Jared said, “you look pissed. It wasn’t his fault. Damn. I’m just making this worse, aren’t I?” He turned, scanning the crowd just as a man got on a microphone and announced it was time for cake. He turned back to her. “I’ll send Angel your way after the cake.”
He left.
Julia didn’t wait around. She headed into the mansion and out the front door to find the house number and street she was on. Then she went back inside to call a cab. There. Mission accomplished. She felt so damn foolish. And, frankly, mortified. The last to know everything in this obscenely awkward situation.
She heard Angel calling for her. She gritted her teeth and quietly left the foyer, taking a turn down a long hallway. There were paper signs indicating the restrooms were this way. Perfect. She slipped into a bathroom at the end of the wing. The lights flickered on when she entered, so she figured it was just her in here. It had a huge sitting area with wall-to-wall mirrors above a red velvet sofa and matching chairs.
Angel’s voice got louder, closer, calling for her. Oh, shit. Why had she hidden in a bathroom? He’d think she was playing along with that Damon fantasy of a public fucking. She was the furthest thing from that now. She should’ve locked the door.
The footsteps got closer, and she held her breath.
“Julia!” he called and then extremely close, “Julia!” She bit her lip.
The footsteps stopped.
The door swung open to her dark Angel.
~ ~ ~
Angel stepped inside a bathroom the size of an apartment, locked the door, and, despite what he knew from Jared about Julia being upset, felt a dark desire stirring. Damon and Mia fucking in the closet during a corporate party. Julia showing him her panties. He pushed that desire down, though, when he read the hurt in her eyes. Instead he did the only thing that would make them both feel better—pulled her straight into his arms. She stiffened, which told him she wasn’t just hurt, she was pissed off.
He cupped the back of her head and spoke in a low voice near her ear. “You know I dated before we—”
She jerked away. “I’m so embarrassed! E
veryone knows but me! They’re probably talking about how I’m sitting there, talking to her, with no clue—”
“No one’s talking about you, I promise.” At her scalding look, he added, “Not anything bad, anyway.”
“You saw me with her at cooking class! Twice! You saw us chatting at church and at the reception. You put me next to her on purpose!”
“I had nothing to do with the seating arrangements.”
“You and Jared fought over her!”
“Jared fought me. I only defended myself.”
Her shoulders drooped. “Why didn’t you tell me any of this? I thought we told each other everything.”
“Like you told me about the Fierce trilogy?”
She flushed bright pink, but then she rallied. “I called a cab. I’m going home.”
“No, you’re not.”
She crossed her arms. “Yes, I am.”
He pushed her arms down and wrapped his arms around her. “It doesn’t matter. Emily’s in the past.”
“She’s not in the past! She’s in your family!” She shoved at his chest, but he didn’t let her get anywhere. “What happens when your family finds out I wrote those books because I was jealous of her?”
A surge of love filled him. He kissed her. She resisted for a moment, so he ramped it up quickly, thrusting his tongue in her mouth and slipping a hand between her legs, excited to find she hadn’t put the panties back on. She gasped into his mouth, and then she leaned into his hand. He turned her so her back was to his front, one arm locked around her waist, his hand cupping her sex. “Look at us together.”
He gazed at her in the mirror, his dark hair next to her lighter shade, his olive skin pressed cheek to cheek with her fair skin. Her dark blue eyes finally met his in the mirror, halfway between lust and defiance. He felt himself get harder.
He went on. “This is what people see. Two people that belong together. They aren’t thinking of who you used to be with or who I used to be with.”
A Tempting Friendship (Clover Park #10) Page 16
