“I realize,” Miguel replied. “And, the good Lord willing, I will be telling this same story for many months to come. Perhaps even years,” he added with a broad smile of anticipation.
“I’m sure you have lots of years left to come, Mr. Rodriguez,” Val told him as she joined the group growing around Rafe’s father.
“This one I like,” Miguel said with approval, looking pointedly at Rafe. “She understands my need to share. Is your mother here?” he asked Val. He made no effort to disguise or hide his eager tone.
“My mother loves parties. If she’s not here yet, she will be shortly. I’ve never known her to miss a party she was invited to.”
The moment she finished saying that, Val spotted her mother. The latter was standing on the far side of the huge circuslike tent that had been erected to accommodate the large number of people attending. Beckoning her over, Val waved her hand above her head until her mother saw her. The latter disengaged herself from the people she was talking to and began to make her way over through the thickest part of the crowd.
When she joined them, Gloria’s attention immediately focused on the man she realized was sitting at the center of this group. “How are you feeling, Miguel?” she asked warmly.
“Like a new man,” he told her. “Like a very blessed new man, thanks to you.”
“Well, I’m just very happy that I was there to help,” she replied. The conversation swiftly changed from a group discussion to a dialogue between the two older people, both veterans in their worlds.
“Thank your mother for humoring my dad,” Rafe said to her as they walked away from the table. He glanced over his shoulder and saw that his brothers and sister had done the same. The movie company wasn’t going to be here that much longer and everyone wanted Miguel to live out his fantasy of having Gloria Halladay all to himself for as long as possible.
He, more than anyone, understood that feeling now. Because it was the way he felt about Val. He didn’t even want to think about the fact that all this would be over all too soon—and she’d be gone.
“Trust me, Mom’s eating this up as much as he is. And she meant what she said. She really is happy she was there for your father. As far as I know, Mom’s never saved a life before. This should keep her energized and walking on air for months,” Val told him.
She paused to take another sip of the colorful drink in her hand. Alcoholic beverages were at the party courtesy of Jack’s. One of the brothers—she’d yet to keep them straight—had given her the first one. The taste had been so satisfying and the drink had gone down so smoothly, she’d tried another.
Val experienced the oddest sensation in her knees and she had to admit that she felt happier than usual.
And even more attracted to Rafe than usual. Or possibly just less inclined to hold fast to the barriers she ordinarily kept in place.
Walking with him now outside the tent, with the star-studded sky above them, looking even more perfect than she thought possible, Val felt very close to Rafe and yet, at the same time, she also felt exceedingly lonely.
Tonight was a night for no secrets.
She missed the touch of a man’s hand, missed too the warm, anticipatory tingle while waiting for that all-important kiss, that mind-bending caress.
That contact that made her know she was alive.
She missed what she’d had with Scott.
“You’re very quiet tonight,” Rafe said, breaking the silence that had been accompanying them on this walk.
Her mouth curved at the sound of his voice, low and velvety, like the sky itself. “Just thinking.”
“About?” he asked, coaxing her to say more.
Say it, Val. You know you want to, a little voice whispered in her head. Tell him what’s on your mind right now.
She turned her head just a fraction toward him. “About whether or not you’re going to kiss me.”
Rafe felt his breath gathering in his chest, turning into a solid entity. A heavy solid entity. He stopped walking and faced her. “Which way are you leaning?” he asked her softly.
“If I had a vote,” she began, then her voice stopped working for a moment when he slowly caressed her face. “If I had a vote,” she repeated a bit more shakily, “it would be yes.”
“Good,” he murmured, framing her face with his hands. “That’s my vote, too,” he told her just before his lips covered hers.
Her holidays got crossed and suddenly, it was the Fourth of July with fireworks going off all over inside of her. Flares, magnificent colors, everything that was exciting and new.
For a moment—for a very long moment—she allowed herself to sink into the kiss. To revel in it and draw strength from it.
She didn’t remember exactly when her arms encircled his neck. There they were, tight around the back of his neck, and she was cleaving to him, her body drawing electricity from his as well as warmth and comfort.
When their lips finally drew apart, she kept her arms where they were, not wanting the bond to be broken just yet.
“Have you ever seen the inside of a movie trailer?” she asked him.
His eyes never left hers as he moved his head from side to side. “Can’t say I ever have.” God, but she looked particularly delectable tonight, he couldn’t help thinking.
“Would you like to?” she whispered.
There were teasing words on the tip of his tongue, flirtatious banter that seemed to come so easily to him whenever he was around her.
But there was something bigger in the way, something that caused him to be serious, because, unlike the other flirtations he’d indulged in, this was serious. God help him, but it was.
If he didn’t ruin it and back away, afraid of risking a rejection.
Afraid, for the first time, of risking his heart.
He wanted her more than he thought he could possibly want anything or anyone. But he wanted to be sure that this wasn’t happening because of those colorful drinks she’d been sipping.
“Val, are you sure about this?”
“Am I sure?” She almost laughed at the irony of the question. “I’m not sure of anything right now, not even name, rank and serial number. But I do know that there’s something about you that speaks to me. That makes me want. I haven’t wanted for a long time now,” she confessed. “Not since...well, not since,” she said, leaving the sentence open-ended, unable to make herself say the words that so clearly described Scott’s demise. She ran her hands down along the sides of his chest, her eyes still very much on his. “But you, you make me want.” There was a world of meaning contained in that one unadorned word.
A man could only be so noble, Rafe thought, have so much strength to back off from what came naturally to him, what he wanted so badly. His own supply of strength was swiftly depleting.
Having her here before him, all but telling him she wanted to make love with him when all he could think of—all he’d thought of since he’d first laid eyes on her—was making love with her, the end effect was that it evaporated all his good intentions.
Annihilated his ability to just walk away.
He couldn’t walk away. Not when his own need for her had just ratcheted up a hundredfold.
“Where did you say this trailer of yours was?” he asked.
Suddenly, she felt almost giddy. This was happening. It was really happening. Oddly enough, consequences didn’t enter into it. She, who always thought everything through, didn’t want to think about them.
“It’s right this way,” she answered, tugging on his hand.
“I’ll walk you there,” he told her, saying the words as if he was just offering to walk her home from the party. In his heart, Rafe knew that was what he should do. Walk her to her trailer, see her there safely and then leave.
But when they came to the actual trailer, Rafe just could
n’t walk away. For one thing, his fingers were still laced through hers. For another, she was drawing him up the three steps that took him right up to her door—and then through it once she unlocked it.
The moment Val shut the door behind her, the second she heard the soft whoosh as the rest of the world outside the trailer was sealed out, the pace, almost languid until now, instantly changed.
Later, Rafe would remember her offering up her mouth to him, would remember pulling her into his arms the instant their lips were sealed. Remember the sensation of being caught up in something that proved to be bigger, more powerful than he was.
Though far from inexperienced, he’d never felt this before. This was what being caught up in a tornado had to be like.
A thousand sensations hit him at once. Needs, wants, desires and at the top of it all was the driving goal to make this woman happy.
Because her happiness was his.
It was a crazy thought, something he would have attributed as belonging to couples, to married people, neither one of which they were supposed to be, and yet there it was. He wanted to do whatever it took to satisfy her, to make her not regret this once their wild roller-coaster ride came to an end. Because everything ended.
Didn’t it?
The second she kissed him, the very moment the door had shut behind her, a door inside of her had sprung open and all the longing she’d thought she had safely secured away from the light of day came flying out, almost stunning her with its strength.
She hadn’t been with a man—hadn’t wanted to be with a man—for so very long. Not since before Scott had died.
But all those emotions hadn’t left her, they had merely been biding their time, waiting for the right moment—waiting for the right man—before they showed themselves again.
And now that they had, she couldn’t restrain them, couldn’t make them subside or go away. They were almost burning her up from the inside out.
Desperate to touch him and to be touched by him, Val tugged at his clothing, stripping him bare as quickly and as eagerly as he was stripping her.
Her body was on fire even before it entwined with Rafe’s. And though she could see that he wanted her, he didn’t immediately take what at this moment was clearly his.
He surprised her by taking his time, by passing his hands along her body, arousing her to heights she hadn’t known were possible. Increasing the magnitude and depth of what she was feeling to such degrees it made her almost believe that she had to be delirious, that something this good, this exquisite just couldn’t be happening.
And yet, it was.
Rafe set every inch of her on fire with his lips, with his surprisingly gentle touch until she all but threw him down beneath her on her bed and then quickly straddled him.
“If you don’t take me now—” she began hoarsely and then had no strength to finish the line, no “threat” prepared to levy against him if he didn’t show her some mercy and complete the act of lovemaking with her right here, right now.
It didn’t matter.
He understood.
Suddenly, their positions were reversed again and she was the one beneath him.
His eyes met hers and she could feel her very breath siphoning away from her. Time seemed to literally stand still, then go into slow motion.
His fingers caressed her, priming her before he moved her legs farther apart. Before he entered her and became one with her.
Just as she wanted.
As she caught her breath again, he began to move, at first slowly, then increasing his tempo in mind-bending increments.
Val mimicked his movements, doing what she could to catch up. When she did, they moved as one, going faster and faster, their bodies as sealed together as their lips.
A cry of ecstasy bubbled up within her until it finally exploded just as the rest of her world did, raining down on her in a host of colorful lights and sensations and, oh, such wonderful feelings.
She clung to him, her fingertips going deeply into his forearms.
Val didn’t realize that her nails were digging into his flesh. All she knew was that she had to hold on for dear life. Hold on for as long as she could because if she loosened her grip, the sensation would leave. And she desperately didn’t want it to.
Because for the first time in a very long time, she felt safe.
She felt as if she was home.
Chapter Sixteen
The next moment, the very same feelings Val just experienced had the exact opposite effect on her.
Rather than making her feel safe, she was terrified. Terrified because her feelings were so strong and she knew in her heart that if she allowed them to overtake her, allowed them to take root, she was literally setting herself up for the very same hurt that all but tore her apart when she discovered that Scott had been killed.
At that time, the emptiness that had engulfed her had been so huge, so bottomless, she didn’t think she would ever stop free-falling through space. Though she hadn’t let anyone know, for a long while it had been touch and go whether or not she’d be able to pull herself together and go on with her life.
And what she’d felt here, tonight, for Rafe after making love with him had the very same dimensions to it. Falling in love again was out of the question. She refused to do it, absolutely refused, she thought fiercely. Because, this time, if something happened to him, to Rafe, she wouldn’t survive. Not twice when she’d barely made it once.
It was far better not to put herself in that kind of jeopardy.
She let out a long breath, as if to purge her feelings from her soul, to expel them as if they’d never been there, never existed.
Her body shuddered with the effort.
* * *
SO THIS WAS what it was like, what Eli, Gabe and Alma were so sold on. This was what it felt like to be in love, Rafe thought as the world around him slowly came back into focus. For him, the exact sensation defied description. He began to understand why Eli had spent so long pining after Kasey, loving her even after she’d married another man, being there for her no matter what. Patiently hoping even when there appeared to be no hope. Until there was.
He felt like bursting with glee, felt like running onto the rooftop and shouting out to the world to let it know that he was in love with his own personal Valentine.
Skimming his lips along the side of Val’s neck, he wanted to make love with her again, but this time far more slowly than the first. This time—
Rafe felt the difference in her instantly. One moment Val had been soft, supple, her body curving into his and although they had just made love, he could feel himself responding to her again. Wanting her all over again. The next moment, he could feel her stiffening, drawing back, as if she was pulling herself back into some invisible shell.
Gathering herself together and away from him.
What had changed?
“Val? What’s wrong?” he asked after she made no attempt to respond to the unspoken question in his voice when he said her name.
“I shouldn’t have done that,” she said, her voice so quiet she needed to raise it in order to qualify her words for a whisper.
Had there been some rule he didn’t know about, a rule he had unwittingly gone ahead and broken?
Or had regrets suddenly come galloping up to her, regrets that she’d let her guard down, that she’d made love with someone who clearly didn’t fit into her world?
“Why?” he pressed in response to her statement. Why was she now telling him that she shouldn’t have made love with him? He needed to know.
“Because.”
The word remained there, alone and naked and answering nothing. He could feel hurt and anger creeping over him. “You’re going to have to give me more than that.”
Val’s eyes began to sting. “I gave y
ou too much as it is.”
Was that code? What was that supposed to mean, anyway? “Okay, now you really have me confused.”
She pulled the sheet to her as she curled up into a ball, turning her face away from him. “I’m sorry for that, but would you please go?” Go, before I make you stay, before I ask you to make love with me again and completely destroy the last shred of willpower I have. “Now,” she emphasized. “Please go now.”
He couldn’t figure out what was going on. His pride bruised, Rafe sat up and grabbed his jeans off the floor. Pulling them on, he stood up, his back to her. “Fine, I’m going. You won’t mind if I don’t walk out naked.” He bit the words off.
She didn’t know how long she could hold out, how long she could keep from crying, from grabbing hold of him and asking him to stay.
From begging him to make love with her again and chase away the shadows.
Rafe had a perfect life. He didn’t know what it felt like to be afraid of loving someone. Afraid that by loving them, you were setting yourself up for a world of hurt once you lost them. She had no way of making him understand, so she didn’t even try.
“Just get dressed and go,” she told him hoarsely, dying inside.
Rafe pulled on his boots quickly, punched his arms through the sleeves of his button-down shirt and crossed to the door.
“I’m sorry,” was all he said before he left. The words were cold.
The sound of the door being shut hard in his wake echoed through her chest as her tears began to fall. Once set free, they fell faster and faster. She hugged her knees to her chest and buried her head against them.
If she didn’t know any better, she would have said that her heart was breaking. But that was impossible since she wasn’t in love yet.
And never would be.
* * *
FILMING CONTINUED FOR another week and a half. During that time, Val deliberately avoided crossing Rafe’s path whenever possible. She assumed he was doing the same with her because he hadn’t once sought her out, hadn’t come to her and asked to talk.
His Forever Valentine Page 16
