by Liz Harris
A moment later, she came back in, a mug in her hand. He was standing by his chair, hanging his jacket on the back of it. She sat down opposite him and put her coffee on the table in front of her.
Having made sure that his narrow lapels lay flat, he moved the lamp from the centre of the table to the side of the table, and sat down again.
‘Is it all right with you that I’ve made myself comfortable like this?’ he asked, indicating his waistcoat and shirt sleeves.
‘Of course,’ she said. ‘I’d like to think that you felt comfortable here.’
‘Thank you, ma’am … Ellen.’
A silence fell between them.
‘It was kind of Aaron to think of lighting the lamps for us so that we didn’t have to come into a dark room,’ she said after a moment or two. ‘It’ll have been done for Conn, too, of course.’
Niall raised an eyebrow. ‘Am I meant to say something about that? Is that what you and my brother discuss in the evenings – how light it is in the room?’
She laughed. ‘Not exactly. I might begin by making a remark about whether it’s too light or too dark, but it wouldn’t lead to a conversation about it.’
‘I’m mighty pleased to hear that. I was beginning to feel quite sorry for Conn, and to be thinkin’ that I’d rather carry on missing out the talkin’ bit. I’m real glad to know that you have some other topics of conversation.’
She smiled across the table. ‘We’ve even been known to discuss the price of a bushel of wheat.’
‘Well, I never,’ he said, his voice full of admiration. ‘Now that is a topic indeed.’
They both burst out laughing.
‘To be honest, Niall,’ she said, when their laughter had died away. ‘I’ve no idea how we begin our evening conversations. One of us says something, maybe about what we’ve been doing in the day, and we just carry on talking. Sometimes we just sit quietly, doing whatever it is we’re doing.’
‘I see,’ he said, an expression of exaggerated thoughtfulness on his face.
‘As I suspect you very well know,’ she said, amused. ‘You and Oonagh talk to each other, don’t you? Maybe you can’t talk late at night when she’s at home with her folks, but talk is talk wherever and whenever it happens. If you were with her now, you’d both be finding things of interest to talk about.’
‘I guess.’ He grinned at her. ‘So you and me, what can we talk about that would interest both of us?’
She smiled at him. ‘As you said earlier, we don’t know each other well so that would be hard to say. And of course, when you’re trying too hard, as we are now, you can never think of what to say. It has to be something that comes naturally.’
‘You could begin by telling me something about yourself, Ellen. Then I can tell you something about myself. We’d know each other a little better if we did that.’
She hesitated. ‘All right. But one thing only. If Connor hasn’t returned by then, I’ll think that you’re right about him not coming back till tomorrow, and I’ll give up waiting.’
He nodded, leaned back in his chair and stared at her, the light from the lamp reflecting in the depths of his blue eyes. ‘You begin,’ he said.
‘My one thing is, although you and Conn are not close as brothers, there is still more between you than there is between my brother and me, and I envy that. I think that whatever you say about each other, if either of you was threatened, the other would step forward to his defence. It was not like this with my brother,’ she paused, ‘and I have no sisterly feelings for him. And now it’s your turn.’
A slow smile spread across his face. ‘I think you credit me too highly, sister, and my one thing about myself will prove the truth of this.’ He leaned closer to her. ‘My one thing is that I would like to spend the night, or what’s left of it, in your bed. And that makes me a not very good brother.’
She gasped, stood up and faced him. ‘Good night, Niall,’ she said sharply. ‘If that’s what you’re like, I don’t wish to know you further.’
He rose and moved swiftly to her side.
She took a step to go around him, but he blocked her path. A momentary panic arose in her.
‘No need to be afeared, Ellen,’ he said, looking down into her face, his voice soft. ‘I ain’t gonna force you. I’ve never forced a woman, and I never would.’ He ran his finger down her right cheek. ‘But I’m thinking that you might like a change, a bit more excitement, and I can give you that.’
‘You’ve got me wrong, then.’ She felt her panic start to subside, and she pushed his hand away. ‘Very wrong.’
‘I don’t think so,’ he said, slowly shaking his head. ‘If you’d told me a second thing about yourself, it would have been that you wanted to feel like a woman again, to be pleasured in the way that a man can pleasure a woman. I’ve known many women, and I know the way they feel. I can sense what you want, and I know I can make you feel a woman again. And it’s not just me bein’ charitable – I’d extinguish the light and then I reckon I’d enjoy it, too. But only if you so wish.’
‘I don’t so wish. And you’ve got me very wrong if you think I do. Conn’s been kind to you, and I’m truly shocked that you’d want to do something to harm his marriage. I’m going to bed now, and I’m going alone. Goodnight, Niall.’
‘But we wouldn’t be tellin’ him, would we? I wouldn’t want him to know any more than you would. And what he don’t know …’ He shrugged his shoulders and looked around him. ‘The house is empty. It’s just you and me alone, and the night ahead is long. We could have us some fun, and Conn would never know. There’s no harm in that. So what do you say?’
‘I say goodnight again, Niall.’
She turned to go, and felt his hand on her topknot. As she spun around, he pulled out the pin that held up her hair. Her hair tumbled to her shoulders. Very slowly, he raised his hands and combed his fingers through her hair, lightly touching her scalp with the tips of his fingers.
A shiver ran through her body, and her toes curled.
She didn’t want to feel like this – not with Niall. She must abandon politeness and walk away from him.
‘Just what’s going on?’
Niall dropped his hands and they turned to the door.
Connor was standing there, caught in the amber light that fell out through the open doorway.
Niall took a step back.
Chill air slid around Ellen, and she felt the blood drain from her face. What must this look like to Connor? How hurt he was going to be by Niall’s behaviour.
Niall moved slightly towards his brother. ‘Sorry about you comin’ in on this, Conn. I …’
Connor looked past him. ‘Get to the bedroom, Ellen,’ he ordered, his voice ice-cold.
‘But …’
‘Get out. I wanna talk to my brother. I’ll speak to you later.’
Biting back her misery and frustration, she ran to her room.
Chapter Twenty
His face grim, Connor closed the front door behind him, walked over to the table in the centre of the room and sat down. Niall went and sat opposite him, and waited.
‘So why did you do it, Niall?’ Connor asked at last. ‘Was it that you saw my scarred wife as easy prey, and you were bored with the women in town? Is that what it was? Or was it that you could see that my life had some sort of order now after a year more terrible than you could imagine, and you couldn’t bear the thought of me having a degree of happiness when things had gone so wrong for you?’ He paused. ‘Well, which was it?’
Niall stared at him. ‘Why would I want to destroy your happiness?’ He gestured in wide-eyed amazement. ‘I’ve already got what I came here for. I came for some money and you’ve promised me some. You’re a man of your word, and I’ve no reason to think you’ll go back on that. And I wanted time to think and to sort myself out, and I’ve had that time. So why would I wish you ill?’
‘Because you’re jealous, maybe.’
‘Jealous of what?’ Niall exclaimed. He gave a loud laug
h of disbelief. ‘We both know I don’t want to farm. What you’ve got isn’t my idea of happiness, so why would I be jealous of you? If I’d stuck around, I’d have had this, too. I didn’t ’cos I didn’t want it. I didn’t want it then and I don’t want it now.’
‘You’d like the livin’ it gives.’
‘But I’m gettin’ a share of it, aren’t I, and all without doin’ any work for it. And next year, too, and the year after. I’m back now, Conn, and I’ll be takin’ a share of the farm’s profits each year. You owe me that.’
‘If it’s not about money, maybe it’s about me being settled when you’re not.’
‘Believe it or not, I coulda got me a wife by now if I’d wanted one, and I could be having the same degree of happiness, as you put it, that you’ve got.’
‘So it was about Ellen being more likely to give in to you because of the way she looks, was it?’
‘Ellen bein’ ready for a man wasn’t because of the way she looks, but ’cos of the way she feels, and that was down to you.’
Connor stared fixedly at Niall. ‘Just what are you saying?’ he asked, his voice iron-hard.
‘Oh, come on, Conn,’ Niall drawled. ‘If I can sense it, so can you. You’re close to her in a way that I’m not. She’s a woman and she wants what a woman wants, and she’s clearly not getting that from you. I’m guessin’ that you go to bed, do what you have to do to get that son of yours and roll over. Well, let me tell you, a woman wants more than that.’
‘The women in the roadhouse may expect to be used differently, but Ellen’s not like that.’
‘Listen to yourself, Conn! Women are women. It don’t matter where they live.’ He paused and sat back. ‘Nothing happened tonight, brother. I’m not sayin’ it wouldn’t’ve done if you hadn’t come back when you did, with her wanting it as she did, and me bein’ only human, but you did come back, and as you saw for yourself, you turned up before a single button had been undone.’
Connor’s eyes narrowed. ‘So you’re saying that she wanted you to bed her? I don’t believe that. She doesn’t strike me as the sort of a woman who’d suggest something like that, especially not if that man was her husband’s brother.’ He shook his head. ‘No,’ he said slowly, ‘she’d not do that, not Ellen.’
Niall gestured with his hands. ‘Look at Ellen, I ask you. Is she the sort of woman I’d ever go after? Think about it, Conn. You know I go for women who are easy on the eye. I’ll give it to you, Ellen’s a pleasant gal … but that face. I grant you one raccoon’s pretty much like another in the dark, but really …. When it was clear what she wanted, though …’ He shrugged his shoulders. ‘And think about this, too.’ He leaned forward. ‘How likely am I to suggest doing something with her that would make you refuse to give me my money if you found out?’ He laughed dismissively. ‘You know me better than that. I may like a wager or two, but takin’ a chance of losin’ ma yearly due from the farm, that would be too big a gamble, even for me.’
‘But you wouldn’t expect to get found out, would you? No one who does wrong ever thinks they’ll be caught. And as for it being too big a gamble, you always did love having an element of a risk in what you did. The greater the risk, the greater the sense of excitement. And that’s what you crave from life, isn’t it? Thrills and excitement.’
Niall leaned forward in his chair. ‘You say she wouldn’t do something like that.’ Niall cut in. ‘But just how well do you know her, Conn? You been married for just over two months, or thereabouts, and during that time you’ve been in the fields for most of the day and she’s been in the house. You haven’t had time to get to know her yet. Most you can say is that she doesn’t seem that sort of person. But lookin’ as she does …’ He shook his head. ‘I reckon she’d be very careful about the sort of person she seemed to be. Face it. You know nothin’ about her.’
‘I know she’s been badly treated by her brother and his wife. Her brother treated her like a servant, and he and his wife made her hide away whenever they had visitors. And her father was as bad.’
‘And you know that for a fact, do you?’ Niall’s voice was tinged with incredulity.
Connor stared at him, his forehead furrowed. ‘I guess I don’t,’ he said slowly. ‘That’s what she told me.’
‘After we both saw what she was willing to do this evening, thinkin’ you wouldn’t be back till mornin’, you don’t think there’s a chance that she might’ve been lying to you? Maybe she hasn’t even got a brother. Maybe she was working for a man, tried to fool around with him, and his wife found out. Couldn’t that be the truth?’
‘I suppose it could,’ he said slowly. ‘It’s just that it doesn’t seem like her.’
‘You don’t want it to seem like her, and I don’t blame you. She comes across as real nice, and she’s in your house, lookin’ after your daughter. Of course you want to think only the best of her. And ’cos of what happened in the past, and ’cos I haven’t wanted to help out on the farm since I got back, you want to think the worst of me.’
‘I guess there’s some truth in that,’ Connor said slowly. ‘You’re my brother, and I sure would like to believe what you say.’
Niall stood up. ‘It’s late. It’s been a long night and I’m turnin’ in. I’m guessin’ you won’t want me anywhere near here when you talk to Ellen, whether you have that talk tonight or in the morning, so I’ll take my bedding and bunk down in East Barn.’ He paused. ‘Don’t worry about Ellen. She’ll not step out of line again – this will have been too much of a shock for her. She won’t want to risk losing her home.’ He paused. ‘I sure hope you can forgive her this. Given your part in what happened, I reckon she deserves a second chance.’
He started to go across to the pile of bedding in the corner of the room, and stopped suddenly.
He turned to Connor. ‘It plumb went out of my mind that you’ve been hunting the animal killers. Did you find anything?’
‘We sure did – a number of bloodied carcasses.’
‘No trace of the varmint who did it?’
‘Not a thing. I reckon they’re gonna be mighty hard to catch. I’ll go into town tomorrow and see if the others had more luck, but I think it’s unlikely.’
‘I might just go along with you,’ Niall said, tucking his bedding under his arm. He went to the front door, opened it and stepped out into the raw night air. ‘See you in the morning,’ he called to Connor.
For a moment, Connor stared at the front door, then he moved his gaze to the table by the window, and then to the door of their bedroom.
He sat back in his chair. How could he have been so wrong? Ellen had seemed a genuinely pleasant woman, easy to talk to and undemanding. After his initial shock at her appearance, he’d got used to having her about the place and had come to enjoy sitting with her at the end of the day. And Bridget, too, although still sharp with her at times, had clearly started to accept her. Altogether, there was now a warmth in the house that had been missing since Alice had passed away.
So could he really believe that it had all been an act, that she’d lied about her background and the type of person she was at heart? No, he didn’t think he could.
But looking back at what Niall had said about her loneliness, at what Niall had made him see, that had a ring of truth to it that made his pain worse.
The night before, something had stirred between him and Ellen, something that hadn’t been there before. She’d felt it, too, and had moved towards him, as if wanting him in the same way as he had wanted her.
But he’d pulled back from her.
It hadn’t been his fault that he’d had to go to Bridget, but later … alone in the bedroom … He put his head to his hands. If only he hadn’t told himself that her response was no more than wifely duty; if only he hadn’t gone to bed and acted as if nothing had changed between them, as if it was an ordinary night, just like all the other nights he’d shared with her …
As he’d lain there afterwards, aware that sleep would not come to her either, he
’d known in his heart that he’d left them both unsatisfied.
No wonder she had been tempted by Niall, a good-looking man who had the ability to turn on the charm when it suited him. He could see now that in a moment of weakness, his failure could have led her to act in a way that was out of character.
If it had been any man but Niall who had put the blame on Ellen, he might not have believed him. But he knew enough about Niall to know that he would be repelled by the way Ellen looked. And he had no need for Ellen. It was well known in town that he regularly visited the women who lived in the rooms behind the roadhouse. No, Niall would have been telling the truth about this being Ellen’s idea. But being a man who was morally weak, he’d have gone along with her for the hell of it if she’d made it clear that that was what she wanted.
Connor put his head in his hands. His brother and his wife – no wonder he was so distressed. More than distressed, in fact. He’d felt something stronger than that when he’d opened the door and seen her standing so close to Niall, her hair loose about her shoulders. A surge of misery and disappointment had stabbed him like a sharp knife. She’d been ready to betray him, and with Niall.
Any man would have felt as he had at that moment.
So where did that leave him and Ellen?
He stood up and reached for the lamp. Niall would have to move out the next day, and he wouldn’t be wanting to take Ellen with him, so it would be just the two of them again and Bridget. If he was prepared to let Ellen stay. He stared at the place where he’d seen her with Niall. He’d never be able to forget what she had been willing to do with his brother. He’d be reminded of it every night. So did he still want her to be his wife and the mother of his child?
He glanced across to the bedroom door, and turned away. It wasn’t a question he was able to answer.
‘Where did you sleep last night?’ Ellen asked, going into the living room and seeing Connor at the table, nursing a mug of coffee.
‘In here.’
‘And Niall?’
‘In East Barn.’
She sat down opposite him. ‘Why didn’t you come in to me?’ she asked quietly.
