by Aleron Kong
No matter their starting spells, he taught each of the children with Life magic Slow Heal I. He wished he could have taught them Summon Weak Life Wisp as well, but their levels weren’t high enough. Still it was a lot better than nothing. He went on to teach all of the Air children Haste I. They were the spells that, if ever the village were attacked again, might give the children a fighting chance and could keep them and others alive. Richter pulled Randolphus aside and told him he wanted the children placed in a daily class where they could practice their spells. The chamberlain made a notation and promised it would be done.
The entire feast had been a wild success. Despite the fact that most of the second wave of villagers hadn’t sworn fealty, he was happy to see that the new people were meshing well with the old. It warmed his heart to see families reunited. Now that the official work of the night was done, he joined his people to party.
CHAPTER 11
“What is that goddamn noise?” Richter shouted while holding his head. It felt like a tribe of kobolds had taken a dump in his brain. He opened his eyes slightly and immediately groaned.
“Oh God! That was a horrible idea!” Despite the fact that he had hated what had just happened to him, he had to know what that horrible clanging was. He cracked one eye open again and blearily looked up from the hard surface he was lying on. What he saw didn’t make any sense.
He knew that the sun was up because there was so much light to see by, but for some reason he was looking at a black sky filled with stars. And what the hell was that gawd awful clanging?
He painfully opened his other eye while holding a hand up in front of his face to lessen the light that was shooting fire picks, he chuckled slightly, into his brain. When he didn’t immediately die, which had been a legitimate fear for him, he slowly widened his gaze. A rack of weapons was to his left and a clear green anvil was sitting on the ground to his right. His hangover-addled brain started piecing these clues together, and he realized he was lying on the floor of the Forge of Heavens. He started to get up but lost his balance and fell back down, one hand flying up above his head.
“Owww,” a grumpy and ladylike voice said.
Richter looked behind him and saw a beautiful wood elf woman… who seemed to only be wearing his Cloak of Concealment. The cape had adopted the smooth white appearance of the marbled quartz it was set against. Grey lines even shot across the material, blending near perfectly with the floor. It did nothing to hide the pale shapely leg that stuck out from one side or the beautiful face and mop of red hair that peeked out of the top of the cloak. He had inadvertently slapped the woman’s chest with his hand. His first thought upon seeing this was that it couldn’t have hurt too much since she had so much padding in that particular region.
“Sorry,” he wheezed out. She grumbled slightly without opening her eyes and faded back into sleep. Judging by what he was seeing, he’d had an amazing time the night before, but he just didn’t remember it! He used Analyze and found that her name was Lorala. Seeing her name on the prompt triggered a memory.
He groaned again as he remembered drunkenly walking up to her and saying, “Hey, sexy lady. How’d you like me to show you heaven!”
He attempted to stand again and this time succeeded, though he had to lean against the weapons rack to stay upright. That was the moment that he had his next grand realization. He was naked. Firmly believing that walking around a forge in his birthday suit would be a bad idea, he cast about for his Bag of Holding. Sure enough, it was only a few feet away. He retrieved it and found his clothes strewn about next to it. He put on his small clothes, pants, shirt, and shoes. Richter had no idea what had happened to his armor, because it wasn’t in his inventory. He guessed that it had something to do with the black scorch mark on his chest, and why his health was down a few points. He didn’t waste more time with that though. He had an important mission. The mission to find whoever the fuck was making all that noise, kill them, and then sow their lands with salt!
He left the naked goddess under his cloak and stumbled around the weapons rack. His head throbbed with every clang of metal on metal. After picking his head up, and squinting very hard, he saw a dwarf at the main elementum anvil. Richter knew he was imagining it, but he could swear that he saw a red outline around the man, clearly marking him as an enemy that must be destroyed. As he got closer, his bleary eye sight showed a salt and pepper beard and a familiar face.
“Stooppp!” he croaked.
“Ahhh, yer lordship!” Krom said loudly. “That was some shindig last night!”
The dwarf put down the hammer and left what looked to be the back of Richter’s chest armor on the anvil.
“Wha-wha-what happened?”
Krom let out a hearty bellow that made Richter hate him slightly. “Well everyone was having a good time and then you said you wanted something called a ‘shot.’ Zarr asked ye what that was and ye said that you wished that the ale we had was stronger. Right after that, Zarr cast some spell on all the casks and that be when the party really got going! When you did that thing with Alma, I laughed so hard ale came out of me nose! Ha ha ha!”
Richter shook his head, confused. “Alma? What does Alma have to—” The rest of his question was cut off as he let out a rather ladylike scream. His familiar had chosen that moment to speak with him and her psychic volume was turned way up!
*MASTER! Master my head HURTS!*
“Alma! Please stop thinking so loud!” he shouted reflexively while grabbing his head in both hands. Then, not wanting her to mentally shout at him again, he thought to her, *Please think softer, my love. Where are you?*
He heard a pitiful mewling and then saw her drunkenly flap up from where she had been resting behind a bucket. Seeing her hovering in midair brought back another series of memories. Him offering her a sip of his drink. Her liking it and then sticking her face deep into someone else’s mug and drinking more. A bunch of other stuff had happened… Then Sion had dared him to do… something.
His memory got fuzzy again. He reached up to rub his aching head and felt a twinge in his chest again. Suddenly, Richter’s eyes grew wide as it all came flooding back. “No fucking way,” he said to himself. He hadn’t been dumb enough to…
“Krom,” he said in a grave voice.
“Yes, yer lordship?” the smith said with joy in his voice.
“Did I climb back up on top of the stage last night?” he asked, knowing what the answer would be.
“Oh. Ye did indeed, me lord.” Krom was clearly enjoying himself.
“And when I was up there, did I shout, ‘Someone call Kenny Loggins because I’m about to go into the Danger Zone?’”
“Yes, ye did. That part was confusing for all of us, but what happened next more than made up for it!” Krom’s grin was threatening to split his beard in half.
Richter just nodded. He could well believe what had happened next would have been what people really remembered. Because what had happened next was that first he had shouted at Alma, “Do it!” and then she had obeyed and unleashed a lightning bolt directly into his chest. The bolt had struck him dead center, and the force of it had knocked him off his feet, and consequently, off the podium. At a guess, the fifteen-foot fall was why Krom was now hammering a dent out of the back plate.
Richter closed his eyes and nodded to himself. That was, possibly, not his finest moment. He opened his eyes and asked, “Is there anything else that I want to know about last night?” Alma had made her way to his shoulders and basically collapsed onto him. The poor thing was still mewling pitifully.
Krom scratch his beard. “Anything that ye WANT to know? Well that I can’t say for sure, but I can tell ye one thing that everyone else knows now!”
Richter took a second to control a wave of nausea and then said, “What’s that?”
“The Mist Village can party! HAHAHAAA!”
Despite the throbbing in his head, Richter smiled back. Then he vomited just a bit into his mouth. After washing his mouth out and spitting
several times, he thought about the sexy woman he had woken up next to and decided that all in all, it had been a great night. “Can I assume you have the rest of my armor here?”
“Aye, milord.” Krom reached to the other side of the anvil and lifted up the other pieces, setting them by the chest plate. “And rest assured, this dwarf will be ready to fight at noon. I could use a good hunt. Now go see if you can bring that young lass you have back there back to life. From the noises I heard coming out of here before dawn, you fair killed her last night! Ha ha ha!” With that last quip, Krom walked away.
Richter cast Slow Heal I to fix the damage to his chest. Then he donned his armor and withdrew his sword from his Bag. He shooed Alma off of his shoulders to the sounds of her protest and then fastened the sword onto his back. He was ready to greet his bedmate—floor mate—of the night before, except for one thing. He plunged his head straight down into a barrel of water. The chill water cleared some of the cobwebs from his brain and he drank his fill. When he straightened up, he felt much more alert. He walked back to where he had left her.
“Lorala. Lorala, it’s time to wake up.”
The elf maiden, well definitely not a maiden anymore from what Richter remembered, opened her eyes, and he was able to see that her irises were the same green as elementum. She smiled sleepily at him and said, “Good morrow, my lord. Was I so fearsome last night that you must gear for battle before we go again?”
Richter chuckled at her saucy reply. “I would never put armor on before joining you in bed. Why would I when all I want is for you to slay me again and again?”
“Well I knocked you down at least five times last night, but you just kept getting up. I supposed it would only be polite for me to do the same. Though I believe eating that much star zenia was cheating!” With that she stood and let the smooth material of the cloak flow off of her body and pool on the ground. Richter let out a slow and appreciative whistle.
She was five-seven or five-eight. Apple-sized breasts sat firm on her chest, and her white skin contrasted with deep pink nipples. His gaze traveled downward to a trim waist and flat stomach, not muscular, but also with little fat. His eyes traced the curve of her hip inward, and he observed her femininity in all of its glory, contrasting on her skin like an apple floating in cream.
She looked at his expression of appreciation and gave a slightly throaty chuckle. Her voice was a smooth alto as she said, “I’m glad you appreciate the view, my lord. Last night you seemed quite pleased that my ‘carpet matched my drapes’ as you put it.”
Richter chuckled as well and said, “Well, thank you for last night.” Then his male brain started scrambling. “I’m not sure how things are supposed to go now. I’m also not sure what I might have said last night, but I’m not really in a good place for a relationship. I was also kind of seeing this other girl back on Earth, and even though we’re probably separated by at least twelve parsecs now, I still don’t think I’m in the right emotional space to make a serious…”
He stopped talking because she laughed at his babbling. “You humans and your conservative views. I am not some stuffy high elf spinster to deny myself the passion I deserve. Do not feel bad about enjoying me and having to leave.” She gathered her dress and slipped it on over her head. Then she walked up to him, grabbed the hair on the back of his head, and kissed him soundly. “After all, I’m the one who used you.” She let him go and started walking away. Seeing the cockiness of her stride, Richter realized it would be more accurate to say she sauntered away.
Looking at her back in bemusement, he called after her, “But I came up and propositioned you.”
She looked back and winked. “Keep telling yourself that, Lord Richter.” She walked off into the early morning light.
“This world definitely has its perks,” he said to himself. It was also good news that he had taken the star zenia. He didn’t need any little Richters running around right now. He looked around for someone to share this moment with, but didn’t see anyone. So as Alma settled on his shoulders once again, he gave himself a high five and walked out to greet the day.
As he walked away from the Forge over to the Great Seal, he sent out a mental call for Futen. Looking around, he saw more and more people passed out in various states of undress. Some were up, but it looked like they were hating life as they stumbled through their walks of shame. Richter shook his head and said, “Fuck you, Zarr. What did you turn the beer into? Chloroform?” With no one around to appreciate his wit, he just kept walking and his head continued to throb.
He tried to distract himself from his discomfort by checking on his notification log. Apparently, he had auto-minimized everything during his speech and the party afterwards.
Your village has grown by leaps and bounds! Never forget, there are consequences to your actions. The following adjustments have been made to your village values.
Average Morale has decreased from +330 to +155.
Average Loyalty has decreased from +321 to +151.
DONG!
The Morale of your village has decreased from Happy to Neutral. The Morale of your people has decreased to the point that there is no effect upon population growth, productivity, or fighting spirit.
DONG!
The Loyalty of your village has decreased from Dependable to Neutral. The Loyalty of your people has decreased to the point that there is no effect upon productivity.
Know This! Your leadership has inspired more than 25% of your villagers to swear fealty. Ongoing changes in Loyalty are twice as effective.
Know This! The Loyalty change from your Tenet, An Honorable Ruler I, has increased from +0.5 to +1 Loyalty increase per day.
Hmmm, Richter thought. What was it the Aes Sedai said? The rule of three consequences or something like that? He hadn’t really thought about how adding more people to his village might take away the perks that the increased morale and loyalty had granted. He supposed it made sense though. Like adding water to dark red Kool-Aid, there would be more to go around, but it would definitely be less sweet. The bump to his Tenet was a nice surprise though. If the Loyalty of his people was two hundred and thirty-one, the overall Loyalty should be back to “Dependable” again in a little over two weeks. Not too long of a time to wait for a 20% production bonus, Richter thought with a smile.
He smiled as he saw a series of prompts that showed increases in the regard that many of the villagers had for him. There were dozens of them and he quickly saw that they were the people whose magic had been awakened. He hadn’t expected such an outpouring of love when he had made his new magi, but he would take it. This time the rule of three worked in his favor.
He closed all of the prompts and saw Futen floating towards him.
“Greeting, my lord,” he said in his deadpan voice.
“Good morning, Futen. Is anyone looking for me?”
“Not that I am aware of, my lord.”
“Well what time is it?”
“It is two hours until noon, Lord Richter.”
“Okay, find Gloran, Basil, and Randolphus and have them meet me at the feast area. I need to get some breakfast. Then go over to the ships and have Hafiz’s sons meet me as well. I think they’ve waited long enough.”
Futen said farewell and floated off to do as he was bid.
*Are you ready for some food, my love?*
She didn’t respond for a second, but then she thought poutingly, *Yes, Master.*
So they started off on the epic quest to find some grub.
CHAPTER 12
Richter was digging into his second helping of eggs, potatoes, and venison, all the while bemoaning the lack of ketchup, when Randolphus came up.
“Greetings, my lord. I am pleased to see that you survived the night.”
Richter smiled at the disapproving man standing on the other side of the table. “Things did get a little wild last night, huh?”
“Well, when the dwarfs started playing noggins, I decided it was time to retire for the night.”
Randolphus sighed. “It involves a round of singing where the dwarves walk in a circle, occasionally changing direction. When the song stops, whichever dwarves are at the top and the bottom of the circle run at each other full pelt until they slam their heads together. If you get knocked down, you are knocked out of the game. There is, of course, a large amount of drinking involved as well.”
Richter didn’t even need to ask if he had joined that particular game. The fact that he didn’t have a skull fracture made it clear that he hadn’t. “So what you’re saying is—”
“You threw a truly epic party, my lord.”
“Yes,” Richter said, nodding sagely. “Yes, I did. I’m surprised that you would admit that though, Randy.”
“You ordered me to tell you that last night, my lord,” Randolphus said somewhat sourly.
“Yes,” Richter said again, gently stroking his chin in satisfaction. Then he smiled at his chamberlain. “I’ve asked Futen to bring Hafiz’s sons to meet me. I wanted you here so we could make sure to place orders for anything that the village needs. Now while we’re waiting, is there anything else we need to speak about?”
“Well, my lord, now that you mention it.” Randolphus kept talking and Richter went on autopilot, just saying “yes” or “no” perfunctorily. His conscious thoughts were replaying the “meow” scene from Super Troopers and wondering if Whoopee and Picard had gotten busy on the Enterprise.
Thankfully he was saved before too much time had passed. Basil walked up to the table they were sitting at and plopped down next to Randolphus. The man’s shirt was slightly torn and a large stain that looked like dried ale covered his front. Richter could see a burgeoning bruise on the trader’s left cheek, and the man had some twigs and pieces of leaves in his hair.
