"So do I."
Huh? Wait a minute, since when does a therapist just agree with you? That’s not what they’re supposed to do! If they agreed with everything we said we wouldn’t have to see them more than once or twice.
"I think you have the right, as Nick’s wife, to be the only woman in his life. By giving Nick the ultimatum you’re letting him know that you want your relationship to continue on the way it should. Perhaps by being faced with the idea of possible divorce it will make him open his eyes and realize what he has before him."
Nick opened his eyes. "Are those fresh bagels?" He sat up in the bed and rubbed the sleep from his face. I sat down on his side of the bed, across from him, and laid down a white paper bag filled with fresh-baked bagels, muffins and other pastries. I handed him a cup of hot coffee from Starbucks and smiled cheerfully.
"Fresh bagels, scones, muffins, all your favorites. And a caramel macchiato, low-fat, just the way you like it."
"You went out for coffee and pastries dressed like that?" he asked before taking a sip of his coffee. I looked down at my outfit. Black pencil skirt, grey cardigan, black, low-heeled slingbacks and wire-framed glasses with my hair back in a sleek ponytail.
"What’s wrong with what I’m wearing? This is Anne Taylor."
"No, nothing’s wrong with it. I’m saying that it’s a bit overdressed for breakfast is all."
"I had an appointment. Come on downstairs. I don’t want crumbs in my bed." I picked up the bag of goodies and carried them into the kitchen. I pulled out a basket lined in blue and yellow cloth and placed each pastry inside carefully, trying to make it look pretty. Nick came in dressed in sweats and a white shirt. And he was wearing his glasses.
"How’d you sleep?" I asked as I poured myself a tall glass of fresh orange juice.
"Better than I’ve slept in months." He took a bite from a scone and I just barely got a plate underneath the pastry as pieces began breaking off. "But I always sleep good when you’re in bed with me."
"Well. You sleep ‘well’ when in bed with me."
Nick just rolled his eyes and took another bite. "So what’s on the agenda for today?"
I put my hands up on the counter and watched him watch me. "Well, I was planning on doing some shopping and maybe driving to Malibu for a late lunch. Is a driver coming to get you?
Nick’s face scrunched in confusion. "Huh?"
“To take you home?” I reminded him dumbly.
"I cancelled that."
"Why did you do that?" I asked stupidly.
"Isn’t that what you wanted?" he asked me.
"No, I don’t recall ever asking you to cancel your driver."
"I meant, isn’t that what you wanted subconsciously or whatever? For me to stay here so that you and I could attempt to reconcile?"
"You were listening to me?" I asked in surprise. And I truly was surprised. Since when does Nick ever hear anything I say, subconsciously or not?
"Layla, I have ears and they do work. Yes, I listen to you. You gave me an ultimatum last night."
"Yeah, and then we had sex, which I assumed meant that you didn’t hear a word I said."
"The sex was your answer. It was supposed to mean, ‘Yes, Layla, let’s try not to be fucked up for once’."
"Oh. I thought you were just too tired to go pick up a girl."
"Christ almighty Lay. Is that why you think I sleep with you? Because I’m too lazy to get it somewhere else?"
"That’s exactly what I think." What a stupid question.
"You mean to tell me that it never occurred to you that I want to have sex with you because you’re beautiful, you’re my wife, you’re sexy as hell and I love you?"
"No. Because if those were your reasons then we’d be living together, we’d have sex more than two months apart, and we wouldn’t have to lie to the world about our marriage."
"Well now I’m not going to sleep around which means I’ll only be sleeping with you."
I only had one question on my mind. "Why?"
"Okay did someone just press rewind? Because didn‘t we just talk about this? This is supposed to be what we want. What you want."
"Well yes, but I want you to want it too."
"I do. I want it your way. So come on, let’s start. What are we supposed to do?"
What? He wants a list or something? "We’re just supposed to live our lives Nick. We’re supposed to do whatever it is we need or want to do; only we have to do it together or at least tell each other about it." Didn’t we used to do things that way?
"Okay. You want to go shopping and I want to spend time with my wife. So I’ll go with you."
I think I might pass out. I set down my juice and closed my eyes. When I opened them again he was still sitting there. Okay, so I’m not dreaming. Then what the hell is this alternate universe? " Did you just volunteer to go shopping?"
"Yeah."
"At a mall? And the promenade? Both of which are busy and crazy and filled with locals and tourists alike?"
"Yes, yes, and yes."
"You do realize what this will subject you to, right?" I had to make sure he knew what he was getting himself into.
"Come on Lay, quit being so serious. You look like you’re about to throw up."
"I’m just surprised is all."
"Don’t be. Take it for what it is."
I don’t know what his game is but it’s turning me the wrong way. There must be a hidden agenda somewhere. I know there has to be... Nick Hudson suddenly wants to be my husband and help me pick out - of all the things in the world - clothing? This is going to be interesting.
Chapter Four
You have got to be kidding me. What the hell is this thing? A bra with water in it. In case there’s suddenly a drought? What? I don’t get it.
"It gives remarkable support!" cooed the foreign saleswoman. "I’m wearing one right now." I looked at her breasts and tried to keep myself from saying anything. I looked at Nick. His eyebrows were raised at her remarkable cleavage. "They really are the most comfortable things you’ll ever put on your body."
"We’ll take one in every color," Nick declared. What? I looked at him like he had lost his mind.
"We will? Since when do you wear bras, Nick?"
"For you, smartass. And we’ll take this cute little pink matching set thing." I watched in awe as Nick and the bra lady walked around the store, Nick picking up random bras and underwear and handing them to the lady. Since when does Nick know anything about bras? With all that time he spent removing them did he actually learn anything about what they’re meant to do?
I wanted to smack him. An obscene amount of money spent on lingerie later and I had nearly had enough of my dear husband. When Nick asked to go with me I should have known this was going to happen. He wanted to be with me all right, just as long as I lived up to his fantasies. Well, not this girl. So I walked out.
The sun hit my face hard as I stepped out of the store. I slid on my sunglasses and walked through the promenade, trying to keep my composure in check.
What the hell was up with Nick? Since when did he like me to dress like that? He knows better. I thought that my class and sensibility were two of the things that first attracted Nick to me. He used to like the mystery.
Wait a minute. Is that why he started sleeping around? Because I wasn’t easy? What the fuck? I sat down on a nearby bench and crossed my legs. That is so not right. Nick never used to be like that. He would have never tried to dress me up like his little Barbie doll. And he would have never treated me like he was today.
I heard someone sit down next to me and I knew it was him, but I couldn’t make myself acknowledge him. I was too busy analyzing everything that was going on.
"What’s up with you now, Lay?" he asked. But I didn’t look up at him. Instead I leaned my head on his shoulder and let one lonely tear fall.
"When did it go wrong Nick? Why? How? Things used to be better than this."
"We just went our separate ways. But we’re back
now."
"No. You’re not back. At least not all of you. I feel like I don’t even know you anymore."
"What are you talking about?”
"The Nick I feel in love with years ago isn’t here, and in his place is a stranger. It’s you. What the hell changed? Did you grow up too quickly? Did you experience things before you should have? What is it Nick?"
"Layla, maybe we should have this conversation at home... Where no one can hear us." I looked up at Nick and around at the people watching us with growing interest. A few people even stopped, phones held out in front of them to document our private moment. What are we? Main attractions at the zoo? Yeah, that’s exactly what we are.
Nick took my hand in his and we stood up together, walking out of the promenade and to where our car was parked in the street.
Nick placed the bags in the trunk as I got in the passenger seat. I didn’t know what was wrong with me but I felt numb. I felt... nothing... I couldn’t feel the pain I wanted to feel and I couldn’t force myself to be happy. I just... was.
Nick sat down behind the wheel and turned the engine over. He pulled out of the parking spot and drove up towards my house. My head was swimming with mixed emotions and I couldn’t make any sense of it.
Nick obviously wanted me. I mean, he’s here, right? He’s with me right now and not with anyone else. Me. And okay, he got a little obnoxious with the shopping. Why should I make a big deal of it?
"You want to talk about it?" Nick asked me after a while.
I just shook my head and stared out the window.
He started to sing softly in a voice that wasn’t the one millions around the world had loved; it was just for me. And there it was. All of a sudden I remembered what it was I loved about Nick so much. He reached his right hand over and held my left hand. Okay, so maybe things will be all right after all.
Making love to Nick was like making love to a complete stranger. Impersonal. Electrifying. Orgasmic. It felt wrong. I felt like I was being used. Like my body was just another play tool for him. Something else he could use against me to mess with my emotions. But at the same time... Damn. It felt oh so right.
Here we go again.
I couldn’t remember the last time we made love like that. Probably not since before we were married. God help me but I love the feeling of Nick inside me. He just did things to me that no mortal should be allowed to do. And though I wanted to scream his name so loud it would rip my throat in two, I still felt used. Used, abused, and I was craving more of it.
I lay on my side with my back to Nick. I couldn’t let him see what I knew my face could not disguise: complete and total vulnerability. I couldn’t give him that ammunition. He would just break my heart all over again. And then I remembered what Doctor Brown had said. Be the victor, not the conquered. But could I do it?
Oh fuck, I’m going to anyway.
I turned over and looked at him. He was clearly deflated. But not in every sense of the word. No, in that department Nick was always ready to go. So while he tried to catch his breath I tried to gain the upper hand.
I straddled Nick’s waist and pinned his arms above his head. He looked confused at first, but then he looked absolutely erotic.
"Already?" he asked with that stupid cocky grin of his. I looked into his eyes and saw the animal in him. The part of him that knew he could get what he wanted whenever and however he wanted it. And he wanted me. He tried to grab me but my strength surprised him and his face changed. "Layla, are you trying to get all Basic Instinct on me here?"
"Shut up, Nick." I leaned down to his face and gently bit his ear. I felt a twinge of empowerment and excitement as Nick moaned into me, clearly loving what he knew I was about to do to him. Still pinning him with one hand, I used the other to move my hair off of his face and away from mine and I could see him looking up at me, wondering if I had the guts to go through it. And I did. I bit his lip. And when he tried to kiss me I pulled away, not letting him touch me.
"Baby quit with the foreplay and let’s get on with it. You’re gonna kill me." I’m going to kill him? Only if he’s lucky.
I stretched my body over his, elongating my torso so that I laid over him completely. I could feel his body reacting under me, and it only drove me further. I put my lips on his Adam's apple and slowly puckered. His breath caught in his throat and his body went stiff.
"God Layla," he whispered. His voice was so deep it made me look up. Was I really driving him to feel this? He swallowed and his lips remained parted, trying their best to bring in fresh oxygen. "Don’t play with me like this." Okay, fine.
I crawled onto my knees and just stared at him, wondering what was going on in that head of his. A vain in his forehead was popping out and I could tell that he was feeling the intensity of the situation. Finally I let go of his hands and nearly fell into him as he wrapped them around me, pulling me into him. I let him kiss me this time. I opened my mouth wide to him and let him feel me, let him want me more.
And then I stopped.
And I got up from him.
And I left the room.
Nick found me in the kitchen. He hadn’t even bothered to put his clothes back on, he just walked in naked. "Layla?"
"You want turkey or ham on your sandwich?"
"WHAT?!" he practically yelled.
"Turkey? Or ham?" I asked him slowly. Jesus Christ I wasn’t speaking Russian.
"Baby..."
"Nope, we only have turkey or ham. Mustard?"
"No. I want you to finish what you started."
"Well then I need to know if you want turkey or ham or else you’re just getting bread, tomato and lettuce."
"Fuck the sandwich! Are you on something?"
"What? I’m hungry!" I defended.
"Look at me; I have a fucking third leg here!"
"So use it as kick stand and sit your ass down so you can eat something." Dear God. Calm down, Nick!
"Are you out of your fucking mind?!" he yelled.
"Nick shut up and sit down before you fall over with that thing. Damn!" I plopped two slices each of ham and turkey on the bread, squirted it with mustard, most of which splattered all over the counter, put the bread together and pushed the plate to him.
But he just looked at me, that vein throbbing out of his forehead. And Jesus Christ it tuned me on.
Before I even knew it was happening, Nick had swung me over his shoulder and was carrying me out of the kitchen. I had quite a view.
"God Nick, your ass is really white. Maybe you should think about going to a tanning booth once in a while."
I heard my back crack as he put me onto something hard and wooden. It was the dining room table. I tried to get up but he was already on top of me, ripping my favorite silk robe off of my body.
"Nick that was my favorite robe!" I protested.
"Fuck the fucking robe. I’ll buy you a new one."
"Nick you’re going to stain the finish on this damn table!"
"Layla Hudson I swear to God...”
I tried to protest again but was stopped when he entered me. And I did scream. It wasn’t in pain. It was a scream that only the most intense pleasure could bring. My leg kicked over a chair as I wrapped it around his waist, desperately wanting him deeper.
Nick lost the upper hand when he tried moving out of me and I used it to flip him over on the table and hover myself above him. "If you break this table!" I warned, looking down at him.
"Layla!" he whined. God I was loving this.
"Stop your whining you big dope! Just shut up!" I came down on top of him and moved my hips against him as hard as I could. His head snapped back and he moaned. I slowed down, barely moving. He looked up at me with maniacal eyes.
"If you stop so help me God..."
"Say it, Nick."
"Say what?"
I moved fast again, then slower and slower. "Say it!" I said again. "Tell me why you fucked all those other women when you could have been home fucking your wife! SAY IT" I moved fast again a
nd he screamed out. I felt the table gave way and we crashed down to the ground with it, still together on top of the pieces of broken wood.
But he didn’t have the time to say anything because the next thing I knew we were screaming... releasing... exploding... I collapsed on top of him, completely exhausted. Physically, emotionally and mentally. I couldn’t move. He couldn’t move.
I finally looked at him. His face was red and he was gasping for air. I tried to get up and get him out of me but I just fell again, my head falling next to his. He was breathing into my neck and his heart was pumping triple time under me.
It took a while for me to find my strength, but when I did, I reached up and slapped him hard across his face. "You stupid asshole! Don’t you ever cheat on me again!"
He looked at me but his face was unreadable. "Layla..."
"And by the way, you mother fucker, you owe me seventy-five for the robe, five hundred for the table and three fifty for that sandwich you didn’t eat!"
And I blacked out.
Chapter Five
I woke up to the sound of Nick strumming on a guitar. I opened my eyes slowly and the pain hit me like I didn’t expect it to. "Oouucchh," I cried to myself. I sat up on the couch carefully, trying very hard not to move too quickly. I went to rub my face and looked down at myself. I was wearing one of Nick’s shirts and a pair of his shorts. They carried the scent of his cologne. Another thing I loved about Nick.
"Layla," he began. I shook my head and put my hand up to stop him.
"Let me get some ice first." I stood up and walked into the kitchen, pulling a towel from the counter and wrapping ice from the freezer inside it. I folded it up and walked back to the couch, easing myself down. I propped my legs up on the coffee table and applied the ice between my legs. "Much better."
I didn’t watch as Nick stood up from the loveseat and came over to me, sitting down next to me. He embraced me and I instinctively leaned into him. I put the ice down next to me and folded my legs to my chest underneath the shirt. And I just sat there, breathing next to him.
"That was... different."
Walk Away, The Romance of Nick and Layla (Part 1) Page 3
