"He never stopped. When I got the job working for the blog I was able to use my resources to find out all sorts of things. And I watched for two and a half years. Watched him cheat on you. Watched you come back to him. And it made me sick."
I could feel my stomach twisting into horrible knots. I wanted to throw up. I wanted to punch Missy. I wanted to kill Nick.
I stood there for countless minutes, listening as Missy Page counted off all the women Nick had slept with. While we were dating. While we were engaged. After we were married. And as up to as recently as a few weeks ago. And all the lies were suddenly revealed. And one-by-one, the longer Missy talked, the longer Vanessa talked, the more that came out. All the lies. All the cheating. All the broken promises. Until I had heard enough.
I could only do one thing. I had to find my husband.
Chapter Eighteen
I could have only imagined what was going on in Nick’s head when he walked through the door. Me, sitting on the floor, surrounded by my belongings all packed up, with a bottle of liquor in my hand. And I was drunk. No, not drunk. Completely drunk off my ass. Blindingly drunk.
I watched as he walked in slowly, like he was afraid to make any sudden movements.
"What’s going on?" he asked.
"I could ask you the same thing, baby."
He laughed nervously and motioned at all of my packed items. "What’s with the suitcases?"
"I’m leaving."
"You’re what?"
"My flight leaves tonight. And as soon as I can stand up I’m going to call a hop bell and have him take my shit downstairs into a cab."
"Okay. Why are you leaving?"
"Because it’s taking all of my will to not strangle you right now. Besides, I don’t have an alibi."
"Lay, you’re scaring me. What the hell happened to you?"
I found my footing and was surprised when I stood up without falling over. "I had a nice little chat with Missy Page this afternoon. Apparently that girl knows a fuck of a lot more than we credit her for."
"What are you talking about?"
"What’s the matter Nick? You look scared."
Nick swallowed and tried to approach me, but he did so slowly. "I’m worried about you."
"Obviously not worried enough. Tell me something Nick. How the hell were you good enough to hide it from me?"
"Hide what?"
I walked until I was standing right in front of him. He was staring down at me and I could see the worry in his eyes. Worry my ass. You bastard. "Hide twelve affairs."
He looked outraged. "What?!"
"You heard me! Or was it more? Because honestly, cheating on your wife with twelve different women during three years is quite an accomplishment."
"That is complete bullshit!"
I laughed. And I kept laughing until my throat hurt. "Poor little pop star. You can’t sing or dance your way out of this one, can you? You can’t just thrust your pelvis or sing a note to make me swoon. Not like with those other girls."
"Layla, you’re drunk. Maybe you should go to bed and we can talk about this in the morning when you’re thinking clearly."
"Good suggestion but what you really mean is maybe I can go to bed and you can start kissing me, trying to make me forget about everything. And then by the time your dick is in me I’ll be so overcome with you that I’ll just forget all about it, right?" He looked positively shocked and disgusted by my words. Yeah, because they’re true. "That’s what your solution is to everything, isn’t it Nick? Seduce Layla. It’ll get you everywhere, every time."
"Why the fuck would you say that, Layla? You know that’s not true."
"The hell I do!"
"God damn it! This is our wedding anniversary. And look at you. You’re drunk. And you’re pissed at me."
"I’m not pissed at you. I’m pissed at myself. Pissed that I never saw through you earlier!"
"Look, I don’t know what Missy Page told you, but from what I’ve heard so far it’s all lies."
"Lies?!" I screamed at him.
"Yes, lies! I never cheated on you twelve times. Jesus Christ, I’m not a monster! I owned up to the mistakes I made after we initially separated and I started cheating. And I apologized. And you said you had forgiven me!" he screamed back at me.
"I thought I had. But you were keeping more than that from me!"
"I don’t have any secrets from you, Layla. I tell you everything."
"You fucking liar. You never told me that you and Missy dated. And from what she said, you were pretty serious!"
Nick’s face fell. Caught you now, bastard.
"She told you that?" He looked incredulous.
"Yes! And she told me about how you cheated on her with me! Jesus Christ Nick, have you ever not cheated on one of your girlfriends?"
"What does any of that matter? I said I was sorry. Fuck Layla! We’re supposed to be moving on!" He ran his hands through his hair and wiped away at his eyes. "And I went out with Missy once or twice. I’d hardly call it serious. Jesus Christ. I can’t believe you let her feed you all those lies."
"Oh, like I’m supposed to believe you?" I shouted.
He looked so pissed. "Of course! I’m your husband! I’m the one person you’re supposed to believe above everyone else!"
"I don’t know what to believe anymore, Nick."
"Believe me. Okay? I’m not going to lie to you. Go ahead, ask me anything. I’ll tell you the absolute truth no matter what!"
"No thanks." I shook my head and bent down to pick up my purse. I fumbled with it but finally got it over my shoulder. "I think I’ve heard enough from you."
"Where are you going?"
"I’m going home, Nick! And I’m doing something I should have done a long time ago. I’m leaving you. For good this time."
"What?" I watched as Nick’s face quickly changed from anger to total sadness.
"I can’t handle you anymore. I should never have gotten involved with you in the first place. I just... can’t. Not anymore. I can no longer distinguish between truth and lies with you and it’s too painful to keep trying. I don’t trust you, plain and simple."
"Don’t leave tonight. Please Layla. Don’t leave like this. We have to talk this through. Work this out." He was crying. All I could do was shake my head, which only made him cry more. "Please?"
"We’re done Nick." I could barely stand to look at him, whether due to disgust or the haze of alcohol I was stuck in.
He grabbed my face and forced me to look into his eyes. I was sorry he did because it only broke my heart to see him crying as hard as he was.
"Layla, please don’t leave me."
I shook my head and peeled his hands off of my face. "I’m finished."
It wasn’t the first time I walked away from him. But it was the first time I did it and meant it. And this time I knew.... we were really over.
Chapter Nineteen
You have nine new messages.
"Layla, it’s me. Look, I don’t know what Missy told you but it sounds like she just fed you bull shit. I wish you’d talk to me about it. At least give me the chance to tell you the truth. Come on baby, please."
"Lay, it’s me. Come on girl answer your phone. I know you’re screening. Just... Please call me, Layla."
"Okay, you’re not speaking to me. Okay, you win. I wish you wouldn’t do this. You never even gave me the chance to explain myself. Call me back."
"Baby would you pick up your damn phone already?! I’m not going to talk to your voice mail forever. Like it or not I’m still your husband and that... Fuck."
"I can’t stand this anymore! Would you please just talk to me? PLEASE?! Goddamn it Layla. Don’t put me out like this. You can’t just not speak to me!"
"Okay fine, you want to play this game with me? Okay. We’ll play it. You want me to leave you a dozen voice mails before you get the point across in your thick head... Damn it!"
"I’m sorry. Just... please Layla. I’m going out of my mind here. I have no idea where you are and it’s sc
aring the shit out of me."
"What the fuck happened to you saying you were going to give me another chance? One test and you threw it all out the fucking window! You’re supposed to trust me! You know I would never hurt you and you can’t honestly believe that I did all that horrible shit to you. So pick up the damn phone ALREADY!"
"You’re not going to ignore me forever sweetie. I’m flying back from New York right now and we’re going to work this out. I don’t care if I have to tie you up to a chair... No matter what it takes I’m going to make you listen to my side of the story.... Layla... I love you. I do. More than I love myself. Okay? I love you. I’ll be there in a few hours."
Of course I knew he would find me. There was only one place I could go. Home. My home. As soon as I arrived I crawled into the bed and just lay there, crying... sobbing... holding our wedding picture tight against my chest.
Of all the....
Fuck.
But I hadn’t gone straight home. I had made a stop first and my business was finished. Sometime earlier that day a man delivered the papers. The only time I got out of bed was to answer the door. And I ignored the look on the young lawyer’s face when he saw that I hadn’t changed my clothes or washed my face in two days. Fuck if I cared.
I just took the papers, held the pen in my hand, and shakily signed in all my designated places.
It was almost over.
The movers would be here the next day. So would the realtor. And then I’d be gone.
Away from Santa Monica. Away from California. Away from my marriage. Away from my life. And most importantly....
Away from Nick.
And he didn’t even know it yet. But he was about to find out.
I heard the bedroom door open but I didn’t acknowledge him. The bed moved when he sat down beside me. But I didn’t move. I just laid there; the picture pressed against my chest, and dried tears on my swollen cheeks.
"Layla."
I closed my eyes. Hearing him say my name was the worst sound in the world. It was once the only thing I loved to hear. His voice, his beautiful voice, breathing my name. But I had since come to hate it. I hated the sound. And I hated him most of all.
"Baby, I wish you’d talk to me."
I have nothing to say to you Nick. Nothing whatsoever.
"You have to talk to me at some point. You can’t ignore me forever."
Yes I can. We’re over. It’s done.
"Layla."
"Don’t say my name," I said to him. I barely recognized my own voice. After two days of not saying a word, just sobbing like a baby, my voice had become coarse and rough.
"What do you want me to say?"
"I don’t want you to say anything." I pushed the comforter off of my body and slowly stood up.
"We need to have this talk Layla. You know we do."
"We don’t have anything to talk about Nick."
"Like hell we don’t."
"We don’t. It’s over."
"It’s never over. We promised each other. Remember? Until death do we part?"
"I don’t have the strength to kill you, Nick." I picked up the papers from the bedside table. I hated the way they looked. Long sheets filled with legal words and figures. But this was what would end it all. Once and for all. "So this will have to do." I tossed the packet on the bed and walked to the window. It was such a beautiful day outside. I couldn’t help but think about the billions of people living their lives. Everywhere people were dying. People were being born. People were getting married. And like me and Nick, people were getting divorced.
"How is this possible?"
"Simple. You sign your name next to the green stickers. That’s how it’s possible."
"This is a Decree of Divorce."
"Yep." So many people living their lives. And here I was, about to end a part of mine.
"How the hell did you get divorce papers drawn up in two days?"
"My father is a very powerful man, Nick. All he had to do was make a phone call."
"I’m not signing these."
"Don’t worry Nick. I don’t want anything from you. I don’t want any of your money. I don’t want any of your possessions. I’ll take what’s mine and you keep what’s yours."
"Why are you doing this to me?"
"I’m not doing anything to you. I’m doing it for me. For the past three years I have loved you unconditionally. I waited for months at a time while you were on tour. I took care of you when you came home. I married you. I gave you my heart, my body, my soul. And I lost it all. Maybe with this I can get some of me back. Maybe I can become Layla Garrett again."
"What was so wrong with being Layla Hudson?"
"It’s just a name Nick. A name that represents something I hate. And I want to give it back to you."
"Please don’t make me sign these."
"I’m not making you do anything Nick. Like I said, this is for me."
"What about what I want Layla?"
"That’s not my business any more. That’s all on you now. From now on everything is up to you. I quit."
"I don’t want a divorce. And I’m sure as hell not signing these."
When I turned around I wasn’t surprised to see Nick crying. But I couldn’t feel for him. Not anymore. So instead I picked up the pen from the bedside table and gently placed it on top of the bed.
I turned away, headed for my bathroom. I locked the door behind me, slid down to the cold tile, like I had so many times before, and I cried.
I’m not sure how long I stayed in there for, but by the time I finally unlocked the door, the once bright house was now dark and cold. Eerie. Empty. And sitting there on the ground was the Divorce Decree.
With two signatures.
Layla Catherine Garrett.
And Nicholas David Hudson.
And so it was finished.
Chapter Twenty
I don’t believe in love. And maybe I never should have. But the point is that I don’t anymore. All the love I had, I gave to Nick. And he took it with him when he walked away. And I walked away with nothing.
Maybe it was never meant to be. Maybe Nick Hudson wasn’t my soul mate after all. But for a long time it sure as hell felt like he was.
I recently heard a song that made me cry. It was as if it was written for me. I knew it wasn’t. In fact it had nothing to do with me.
But at the same time, it had everything to do with me. Had I heard this song earlier, things might have been different. Maybe Nick and I would still be married. Maybe not.
But one thing was for certain. I had finally walked away from Nick Hudson. Now my ties to him would be limited to one: my ex-husband. I’m not sure where it went wrong. I’m not sure I care. But I walked away. And it was probably the smartest thing I had ever done. And now all I have is me.
But Lord help me, because I’m a liar. I guess I learned from the best. Because I knew better. I knew better than to not believe in love.
Because the truth was... I still love that man. And I probably always will.
And despite the feeling in my gut that told me we would likely never be over, I planned to keep on walking.
To be continued...
“Sorry, The Romance of Nick and Layla (Part 2)” is now available on Amazon
http://www.amazon.com/dp/B009ND3CU0
Four months after their bitter fall-out, Nick and Layla are on the brink of divorce. He wants to start anew, but she's keeping a secret that could change the very shape of their relationship for good. Still, their emotional manipulations are the only way they know how to communicate, even when it seems there is little left to save of their tumultuous marriage.
Also by Crystal Cierlak:
“Sorry, The Romance of Nick and Layla (Part 2)”
“White Flag, The Romance of Nick and Layla (Part 3)”
“Zoe Thanatos”
On her 25th birthday Zoe Thanatos is ready to end her short and unhappy life by jumping off a cliff into the Pacific. But her plans irrevocably change w
hen a stranger intervenes, preventing her death while seemingly cheating his own. She demands answers but unearths a whole new world of questions when her savior confesses his true identity - that he isn't from her world - and leads her down a path of discovery that reveals truths about the life she was meant to live and those responsible for taking it from her.
Discover a new world with "Zoe Thanatos", the first of three novels that is as intelligent as it is modern, and transports the classic hero narrative into a multiverse rich with possibility and intrigue.
Walk Away, The Romance of Nick and Layla (Part 1) Page 11
