Witch Watch

by Sibéal Pounder

  Felicity Bat looked deep in thought, like she was trying to work something out.

  ‘Your mum?’ she eventually said. ‘What has the slug got to do with your mum?’

  Tiga gasped. ‘Someone sent you to get the bit of paper … but you have no idea why, do you?’

  Felicity Bat cackled and scoffed and crossed her arms defensively. ‘Ha! That’s ridiculous. I know exactly what I’m doing and why I’m doing it!’

  ‘GET AWAY FROM HEEEEEER!’ Norma Milton bellowed at Felicity Bat as she shot through the air, smacking into Tiga and sending her hat flying.

  Tiga dived, frantically trying to grab it. It spiralled down and down until SPLOSH!

  ‘My mum’s hat!’ she cried, as she watched it sail off down the silver river.

  Norma Milton floated down to her and put a hand on her shoulder. ‘Don’t worry, Tiga, it’s only a hat. On the plus side, Felicity Bat is gone.’

  Putputputputputputput.

  ‘Stupid, faulty, silly-noise-making mop,’ Aggie Hoof grumbled as she putputput-ed her way through the air above them. ‘Wait for me, Fel-Fel!’

  Norma Milton patted Tiga again. ‘And Aggie Hoof is gone too.’

  28

  Why?

  Felicity Bat peeked her head around the Gull & Chip Tavern door and slowly stepped inside.

  ‘She’s not here,’ Nasty Nancy said, without looking up from the WARWOP! article she was reading.

  ‘Where is she?’ Felicity Bat asked.

  ‘Away on important evil business.’

  ‘Right,’ Felicity Bat said.

  ‘Ooooh, Fel-Fel, this is lucky. Now you have some time to get that piece of paper about the slugs.’

  ‘You didn’t get it?’ Nasty Nancy asked. ‘Well, that’s what we all expected. Further proof that children are useless.’

  ‘I hate to keep reminding you oldies: you were once children,’ Felicity Bat snapped.

  ‘And then we got some sense,’ Nasty Nancy said with a nod.

  ‘Why does my gran want that piece of paper about the slugs?’

  Nasty Nancy snorted. ‘Not telling. She’d kill me for telling you; she says you’re a waste of perfectly good Sinkville space.’

  Felicity Bat took a seat at the bar and flicked her finger, setting the WARWOP! article on fire.

  ‘Oi! I was readin’ that!’

  ‘You’re not telling me because you don’t know, do you, Nasty Nancy?’

  ‘I know everythin’,’ she said with a smirk.

  ‘Does my gran need to know what information is in that slug?’

  Nasty Nancy cackled. ‘Course not, you idiot child. I ain’t telling you nothin’.’

  Felicity Bat levitated off the barstool and towards the door. ‘You just told me everything.’

  ‘Did not,’ Nasty Nancy protested.

  ‘Did she, Fel-Fel?’ Aggie Hoof asked, trotting after her.

  ‘There’s only two reasons my gran might want that piece of paper,’ Felicity Bat said smugly. ‘Either she needs the information in the slug, or she knows it already and needs to make sure no one else gets it. You –’ she looked over her shoulder at Nasty Nancy – ‘said she doesn’t need the information in the slug, so that means she knows exactly what it contains and wants to stop anyone else from finding out what she already knows. And that means she thinks the information is something that could ruin everything for her.’

  Nasty Nancy stared, mouth open, as Felicity Bat soared out of the door.

  ‘Who’s the idiot now?’ Aggie Hoof said, as she walked into the wall.

  29

  Ritzy City?

  ‘FROGNUGGETS!’ Tiga cried as they walked down Ritzy Avenue towards Linden House.

  It wasn’t the same Ritzy Avenue they had left in the middle of the night to go to Silver City. Everything was multicoloured!

  Linden House was a gorgeous emerald green, and Brew’s was a luscious purple with orange window frames.

  Cakes, Pies and That’s About It Really was a weird melon colour.

  Peggy took off her glasses and rubbed her eyes.

  Fluffanora turned on her heel slowly as she walked, trying to take it all in. ‘It’s like the olden days,’ she said suspiciously.

  As they passed Brew’s, Mrs Brew came shooting out of the door and threw herself at them. She nearly knocked Fluffanora over completely.

  ‘You’re back!’ she cried. Her cold was gone and she was back to her normal not-snotty self. She straightened up her hat and hoisted Fluffanora in the air, twirling her around.

  ‘How did it go in Silver City?’ she whispered.

  ‘We’ll tell you all that later. But Felicity Bat was there,’ Tiga explained. ‘She was on a mission, and I bet Celia Crayfish sent her. I think she might actually be back.’

  ‘That’s what the WARWOP witches keep saying. That’s how they explain the colour,’ Mrs Brew said. ‘But no one has actually seen her. Don’t tell Fran I said that …’

  A spray of glitter smacked Tiga in the face.

  ‘SHE’S BAAAACCCCKKK!’ Fran screamed as she zoomed into view.

  ‘Fran!’ Tiga cried.

  ‘I think you’re forgetting something, Tiga.’

  ‘Fabulous Fran,’ Tiga tried again.

  Fran nodded and gestured for them to follow her. ‘I’ve seen things since you’ve been away.’

  ‘Things?’ Tiga asked.

  ‘Big Exit witches, back and in town – all colourful.’

  ‘I knew it,’ Tiga said. ‘I knew Miss Heks couldn’t bring all the colour back like this.’

  Fran twirled in the air. ‘And I saw Celia Crayfish and I have been practising being a detective, and doing an excellent detective walk, like this.’

  Fran walked with long, determined strides through the air.

  ‘WHAT?!’ Tiga said.

  ‘An excellent detective walk, like this,’ Fran repeated, and did the walk again.

  ‘No, no,’ Tiga said urgently. ‘The bit before. The bit about Celia Crayfish. You definitely saw her?’

  ‘Oh yes, she’s back. She was in the Gull & Chip Tavern, talking about how she’s going to take control of Linden House.’

  ‘I checked the Gull & Chip Tavern, Fran, and she wasn’t there …’ Mrs Brew said quietly.

  ‘That doesn’t mean she wasn’t before,’ Fran said grandly. ‘The WARWOP witches believe me.’

  ‘I believe you too,’ Tiga reassured her.

  ‘I should make some sort of official announcement,’ Peggy muttered to herself.

  ‘I spied Miss Heks and a bunch of bad witches crowded over a green apple too,’ Fran said. ‘It was glowing.’

  ‘Like my apple?’ Peggy said slowly, before turning and running fast towards Linden House.

  Tiga watched as Peggy frantically fiddled with the key and bolted inside.

  ‘What’s she doing?’ Mrs Brew asked.

  Tiga remembered the light switching off in Linden House the night they flew to Silver City, and the figure she was sure she saw scuttling across the garden …

  ‘IT’S GONE!’ Peggy cried from the window. ‘THE GLOWING APPLE IS GONE!’

  ‘I didn’t know she was such a fan of fruit,’ Fran said. ‘If I had known, I would’ve brought her my Pineapple Face!’

  30

  Felicity Bat Overhears

  Something

  ‘It’s horrific. I mean, look at her.’

  Felicity Bat was huddled outside the Gull & Chip Tavern. She had been planning to go in but had overheard her gran having a rant to Nasty Nancy about someone and realised it was about her.

  ‘She’s just not me,’ Celia Crayfish said. ‘I don’t see any of me in her. SHE’S A DISGRACE. She needs to be destroyed. As soon as I take over Linden House, the first thing I’m going to do is destroy her.’

  Felicity Bat shakily got to her feet and vowed that never again would she help her horrible grandmother. That old bat is on her own, she thought as she tore off down the road.

  In fact, Celia Crayfish was actuall
y talking about the portrait of herself in the Gull & Chip Tavern, which she felt was not a good or accurate painting of her at all, and she was planning to destroy it.

  ‘Maybe you could get another one painted once you’ve destroyed that one,’ Nasty Nancy said.

  ‘Wonderful idea, Nasty Nancy!’ Celia Crayfish cooed.

  But Felicity Bat had gone before she could hear that bit …

  31

  Felicity Bat

  in a Wardrobe

  ‘It feels like something sinister is about to happen,’ Tiga said as she watched colour slowly coat the buildings outside.

  It was getting late, and one by one, witches strolled up Ritzy Avenue and into the darkness.

  Tiga turned back around to face Fluffanora, who – much like her – couldn’t imagine sleeping at a time like this.

  ‘I know,’ Fluffanora said, as she fluffed the slug’s hair. ‘Something sinister. You know, I never thought my reaction to a blue cat or a pink pair of curtains or a pavement in a canary yellow would be terror, but it is. I feel like evil witches are hiding everywhere.’

  Margaret Mulch, a very evil Big Exit witch who was hiding in the Brew’s attic, heard Fluffanora say that and quietly got up and went to look for a better hiding place.

  ‘Do you hear someone in the attic?’ Fluffanora muttered as she put Sluggfrey in his doll’s house.

  ‘How are we going to find that piece of paper?’ Tiga said with a sigh. ‘That trip was a disaster, a dead end. We need to find out what Sluggfrey knows. It’s the key to finding my mum, I just know it.’

  ‘We’ll find it,’ Fluffanora said. ‘Hey, did Peggy make her speech?’

  Tiga nodded and handed Fluffanora the latest WARWOP! article.

  ‘It features me,’ Fran said proudly.

  WARWOP!

  * * *

  Finally, our most glorious Top Witch has spoken. This is what she said: ‘Witches of Sinkville, please do not panic. Yes, colour is seeping back and we do have strong evidence to suggest that it is Celia Crayfish.’

  NOTE: AT THIS POINT, A WITCH IN THE CROWD YELLED, ‘WHAT EVIDENCE?’

  ‘Well,’ Peggy then said. ‘A fairy friend of mine told me she saw her.’

  NOTE: AT THIS POINT, A LOT OF WITCHES IN THE CROWD STARTED GROANING, ‘UGH, FRAN. YOU CAN’T BELIEVE FRAN. SHE’S PROBABLY JUST TRYING TO GET HER OWN DOCUMENTARY.’

  We spoke to Fran to ask if she was trying to get her own documentary and she said, ‘Of course not! I want a film.’

  ‘Listen,’ Peggy went on. ‘I am going to get to the bottom of this. I will find Celia Crayfish and speak to her. I am appealing to her now. If she is here and would be willing to come forward and discuss any of her evil plans, I will happily listen to them. Well, not happily, because the plans would be evil and evil plans don’t make me happy at all … Anyway, you are all my witches and I will protect you. I will find out what’s going on.

  ‘We must remember that Sinkville is magic and so are we. Evil has no place here and must leave right now!’

  NOTE: AT THIS POINT, A VERY NICE WITCH CALLED EVIL JONES YELLED, ‘OI!’

  ‘In the meantime, I ask you to be vigilant and report anything suspicious to me.’

  NOTE: AT THIS POINT, A WITCH IN THE CROWD YELLED THAT ONE OF HER TOENAILS WAS SUSPICIOUSLY LONG.

  ‘The most important thing is not to panic!’

  And that’s it, fellow WARWOP witches. I think what we can take from Peggy’s speech is that WE MUST NOW PANIC.

  Yours shakily,

  The WARWOP Witches

  Tiga put the article down. ‘Evil is a really unfortunate first name.’

  Fluffanora nodded and yawned.

  ‘Psst,’ Fran said, but neither of them heard.

  Tiga climbed on to her bed and pulled the covers up to her chin. ‘And I lost my mum’s hat too.’

  Fluffanora took a seat next to her bookshelf and started reading Melissa’s Broken Broom. ‘It’s just a hat, Tiga.’

  ‘That’s what Norma Milton said.’

  ‘PSSSSST!’ Fran hissed in Tiga’s ear. ‘PSSSSST!’

  ‘WHAT IS IT, FRAN?!’

  Fran pointed madly at Tiga’s wardrobe. ‘There’s someone inside, I can hear them.’

  ‘Oh, Fran. You’re turning into a paranoid WARWOP witch,’ Tiga mumbled sleepily.

  Fran floated nervously towards the wardrobe, a hand covering her eyes … She raised a finger, ready to flick it and send the wardrobe door flying off its hinges.

  ‘Oh, I’m going to save you all a lot of bother,’ Felicity Bat said as she tumbled out of the wardrobe.

  ‘FELICITY BAT!’ Tiga cried.

  ‘Yes,’ Felicity Bat said flatly. ‘Well done, you have eyes.’

  ‘Aaaaaaargh!’ Fluffanora bellowed, throwing herself at the evil witch.

  ‘Can we all just calm down for a second,’ Felicity Bat said softly, levitating up so high they couldn’t catch her.

  ‘Why must you always be such a menace?’ Tiga said, brandishing her fists.

  ‘Why not?’ Felicity Bat asked.

  Fluffanora grabbed some books off the bookshelf and began pelting them at her.

  But Felicity Bat just ducked and dived and shot a couple back at her.

  ‘Look, I know we’re not exactly friends,’ Felicity Bat began.

  ‘Not exactly, no,’ Tiga said.

  Felicity Bat levitated a bit lower. ‘But I need your help.’

  ‘Our help?’ Fluffanora spluttered.

  ‘Look,’ Felicity Bat said impatiently. ‘My grandmother doesn’t know what she’s talking about. She came back – they used Miss Heks as a cover. They knew lots of witches would just think the colour is seeping back because of her and not suspect much. While everyone’s been debating what it might be and branding the WARWOP witches mad, the Big Exit witches have been sneaking back, one by one. All that colour out there? That’s the Big Exit witches coming back.’

  ‘Oooh, I saw them! I saw them! Didn’t I see them, Tiga? Felicity, may I interrupt to show you my detective walk?’

  Tiga plucked Fran from the air and shoved her in the doll’s house. The slug sat on her.

  ‘Rude,’ Fran said.

  ‘OK, I’ll bite. What do you need help with?’ Tiga said.

  Felicity Bat levitated even lower. ‘They are planning a battle. They expect resistance from other witches. They have matching Evil Witch outfits. Frilly old horrible things from about a hundred years ago.’

  ‘Ruffle-bottom dresses,’ Fluffanora said with a knowing nod.

  ‘And she’s going to rule Sinkville as an adult and get rid of kid rulers, like the world above the pipes,’ Felicity Bat continued.

  ‘How is she going to do that? Only a nine-year-old who has won Witch Wars can rule,’ Tiga said.

  ‘Yeah,’ Fran shouted from inside the doll’s house. ‘Linden House is protected by serious magic.’

  Felicity Bat stared at Tiga blankly. ‘Well, yes, but …’

  ‘That’s the bit you need help with, isn’t it?’ Fluffanora said. ‘You have no idea how she’s planning to do it.’

  ‘She hasn’t told me,’ Felicity Bat said defensively, picking at her nails. ‘She won’t tell me anything!’

  ‘And why don’t you want to help her? You love her,’ Tiga said.

  Felicity Bat levitated a bit lower. ‘She’s going to destroy me.’

  ‘Destroy you?’ Tiga asked.

  ‘DESTROY ME,’ Felicity Bat said again.

  ‘Why do you think we can help you? You’re good at spells and levitating and all that stuff – why do you need us?’ Tiga asked.

  Felicity Bat shrugged. ‘You’re good. The good guys always seem to win around here these days.’

  ‘How do we know you’re not lying?’ Tiga asked. ‘You lied about having the piece of paper from NAPA, which you still haven’t given to us.’

  ‘I told you, I don’t have it. But I did see it before Norma Milton pranced in and interrupted things. One of you must have it.’
/>   Tiga shook her head. ‘None of us would do that.’

  ‘Well then, it was Norma Milton,’ Felicity Bat said.

  ‘She’s lovely,’ Tiga protested. ‘She’s done nothing but help us – she was the one who gave us a map of Silver City so we could find NAPA!’

  ‘Her name is an anagram of “I’m Not Normal”,’ Felicity Bat said.

  Fluffanora burst out laughing. ‘Oh my frogs, it is!’

  ‘You’re trying to frame her,’ Tiga said knowingly. ‘This is all so obvious.’

  ‘I’m not,’ said Felicity Bat casually. ‘You’re just going to have to believe me.’

  ‘I never will. Now get out, before I set Fran on you.’

  She opened the door to the doll’s house.

  Fran started rolling up her sleeves and shooting little balls of glittery dust into the air.

  Felicity Bat sighed and soared out of the window.

  ‘That was easy,’ Tiga mumbled, as she watched Felicity Bat disappear down the street.

  Fluffanora joined her at the window. ‘You know, I’m almost convinced she was telling the truth …’

  ‘You were just won over by her anagram joke,’ Tiga said, rolling her eyes.

  32

  Five Minutes Later …

  ‘I AM TELLING YOU THE TRUTH!’ Felicity Bat roared, shooting back through the window and startling them all. ‘What can I do to prove it to you? Flowers?’

  She flicked her fingers and bunches of flowers fell down on them.

  Fran was flattened by a bouquet of lovely roses.

  ‘Why you little …’ Fran growled through a petal.

  ‘Or … or … chocolates!’ Felicity Bat said manically. A load of chocolate boxes from Pearl Peak’s chocolate shop, Slopply’s Chocolates, shot around the room.

  ‘Stop it!’ Tiga yelled. ‘Can’t you just say sorry for everything you’ve done?’