Jacob felt elated as Rania’s arms wrapped around his shoulders, pulling him against her chest. This was what he wanted, a passionate woman he could share his life with. The kiss felt so right between them and he wanted to continue savoring her lips forever, but he forced himself to stop and pull Rania away at arm’s length. It was time to talk.
“Rania, I’ve already talked to Dagmar and asked his permission.” Rania looked confused, so Jacob took a deep breath and smiled to calm her worried face. “I think you’re very special and I have a question to ask you.” Jacob took another breath before continuing, “I’d like to court you in hopes that you’d agree to become my wife.”
Her shocked look, then crumbling face was not what he expected at all. “Rania? What’s wrong?” Rania was starting to hyperventilate until she got herself under control.
“I…I have to tell you something, Jacob. I’m honored that you asked me but…”
“But what?” Jacob asked warily as the hairs on the back of his neck stood up. This wasn’t the reaction he thought he’d get from Rania.
“I think I’m pregnant.”
Jacob stepped back like she had just slapped him. “What did you just say?”
Rania looked like she could faint, but his arms weren’t about to catch her.
She wouldn’t look at him when she said again, “I’m pregnant.”
Jacob’s shocked silence caused Rania to lift her eyes to meet his. Tears streamed down her face but she didn’t lift a hand to wipe them away, and neither did he.
Jacob spun on his heel and stormed out the door, forgetting he had hung his hat on the peg by the door this time.
“Jacob, please let me explain…” Rania called after him, but Jacob didn’t stop his rapid descent from the porch.
Chapter 6
Blind fury raced through Jacob as Duncan took him home. It’s a wonder the horse didn’t throw him for the way he acted and, at the moment, Jacob didn’t care. How could Rania be with someone else and lead him on for the past month? When was she seeing the other man? Did they laugh behind his back at his stupid attempt at romancing? Here Jacob thought she was shy and reserved and instead she was seeing two men at once.
No, his mind volleyed back. If she knew she was pregnant, it meant it was someone she’d been with in Texas before moving up to Kansas. He’d been scared to give her a kiss, but she had been with a man in the most intimate way a couple could be. It just made him sick thinking about it.
Duncan skidded to a stop at the house, still jumpy because of Jacob’s attitude. Jacob jumped out of the saddle, and then struggled to dig the wrapped package of Lilac Water out of the saddle bag. When the package was free, Jacob threw it so hard against the ground it smashed, spreading the liquid scent into the air. Duncan jerked the reins off the hitching post to trot away and seek shelter in the barn. Jacob leaned over the mess, positive that he could never see or smell a lilac flower again without thinking of the news Rania had just thrown in his face.
Jacob heard his mother come up beside him, and pulled away when she touched his shoulder. He couldn’t face her with Rania’s confession still bouncing through his head.
You have to give and take; accept the other person as they are…be ready for what life will throw at you. Rania will make a fine wife, but you’re going to have to accept her as she is first.
His mother’s words came back to him and he swung around to face her.
“You knew. Why didn’t you tell me Rania was pregnant?” Jacob accused his mother.
Cate calmly folded her arms across her chest before answering. “It was not my business to tell you. Did you talk about the circumstances and how it happened?”
Jacob pointed a finger at her and angrily replied, “I’ll not marry someone who loves someone else.”
“Is that what she said?” Cate asked in disbelief.
“I didn’t stick around to get an explanation or ask any questions. She can go back to Texas to marry the man or stick it out on her own here. I won’t be a substitute daddy for her brat.” Jacob was so steamed he couldn’t even say Rania’s name out loud.
“Jacob, she was attacked on the trail up here.” Jacob turned and looked at his mother, not believing her excuse for Rania. He also took in that his mother had one hand wrapped tightly around her middle and her other hand was slowly rubbing her neck up and down. He’d seen her do that a few times when she was really stressed.
“I can’t believe it wasn’t a willing act. She’s big and strong enough to punch a man in the gut… or shoot him.”
Cate took a deep breath and asked, “What bothers you the most, the thought of a baby on the way or her being with another man?”
His mother’s word deflated the anger pulsing through his veins. “I wanted to be her first and only love.” Then Jacob blurted out another fear, “And the baby won’t look like me.”
“Jacob, it was an act of violence against Rania and she didn’t love the man. She had no choice when he did it to her.”
“There are always choices,” he growled.
“Yes and what if her choice was to protect someone else? What would you do to protect me, Sarah or Rania?’
“I’d…I’d do anything, until my breath was gone,” Jacob confessed, closing his eyes, shuddering with the thought.
“And why would it bother you that the child might not look exactly like you?” His mother continued after a long pause. “Think of your sister Sarah. She has beautiful black hair, so different than you three brown–haired boys. Do you love Sarah less because she isn’t an exact copy of you three brothers and your father?”
“No,” Jacob agreed. “You have one sister with a similar color hair to Sarah’s, and your other sister is a redhead. I know family genetics have a way of sneaking down the generations.” Sarah didn’t look like their mother, but had differences he had always attributed to their grandparents.
“But she must have had a choice,” Jacob picked up his argument again.
“RANIA’S CHOICE WAS TO PROTECT HER FAMILY!” Jacob stared at his mother after her loud, sharp words. She was rubbing her throat harder now.
Her actions caused a childhood memory to flash in Jacob’s mind. Their father was away on an errand that day, and a mean, drunk, foul-smelling man had pushed his way into the house. His mother told her young sons to go find the new kittens she thought were in the barn or granary…and not to come back until they found them.
When he and his brothers came back to the house to tell their mother they couldn’t find any kittens…she was scrubbing her face in her bedroom wash basin…and then rubbing her hand over and over her throat.
“What if it was Sarah—or me—who had to do something to protect someone we loved? Would you think less of us?” his mother asked in a slight whisper.
That’s when his adult mind realized the horror that his six–year–old one could not have comprehended that day long ago in their Illinois house. His mother chose to protect Adam, Noah and himself—at her own physical and emotional expense.
Jacob took a step and wrapped his arms tightly around his mother, rubbing her back, realizing what she was trying to tell him. “I’m so, so sorry, Ma. Thank you for always protecting us when we were little.”
His mother shuddered, and sighed against his chest. “Did Pa know what happened?” Jacob squeezed his eyes shut, thinking of the pain his parents endured because of one dastardly deed that his mother suffered to protect her three young sons.
“We never kept secrets from each other, and we rejoiced when we had a healthy baby daughter to love.”
“Does Sarah know?”
“It didn’t matter to us which man conceived her, so no, we never told her. She is our daughter, Jacob. I’ve never told this to anyone before. I’m only doing so now to make you see that Rania had a choice to make, and it was to protect her family.
“She’s the right woman for you, but only if you can fully accept her and the baby together. Marriage is a lifetime commitment.”
&nbs
p; His mother leaned back in his arms to stare into his eyes. “If you’re not sure, then tell Rania and let her move on. There are plenty of men around here who would love to ask Rania’s hand in marriage and welcome a baby, too. That baby is growing inside her and she needs to make some crucial decisions for the two of them soon.
“Do you love her, Jacob?”
Jacob immediately wanted to say “yes”, but his mother was right that he need to seriously think about this, because it was a lifelong commitment to not only Rania, but also her child on the way.
Then his mother was back to rubbing her throat again. “Please go. I need to be alone for a bit. Sarah should be back from town at any moment, and I need to compose myself. And you need to clean up that pile of glass you left in front of the house.”
***
He still smelled the Lilac Water, even after he got a shovel from the barn and buried the shattered glass, the wet paper and the scented top dirt in the bottom of a two–foot hole. Then he realized the water probably splattered on his pants because he threw the bottle so hard on the ground.
After he went back in the house and changed to another pair, he thought it best to rub his boots in the manure in the corral before heading into town. Jacob decided to buy another bottle of the stuff, even if it ended up as an apology gift for Rania—or his mother—but he sure didn’t want to ride into town smelling like he skinny dipped in a perfume factory vat.
When he started to walk out of the house, Jacob automatically reached for his hat on the wall peg, and then remembered again where he had left it. Looking down the row of pegs he saw his pa’s old hat. His ma wore it a lot the first months after he died. She said it helped her think out problems they would have faced together. Ma went back to her own head gear eventually but Pa’s hat always had an honored spot on the wall.
Jacob reverently took the hat down and thumbed the brim, thinking about his parents.
Marriage is a wonderful thing and I cherished the years I had with your father. Rania will make a fine wife, but you’re going to have to accept her as she is first.
His ma’s words were banging around his head again. Maybe wearing Pa’s hat for a while would help him decide what to do.
***
Rania wiped her face again with the towel she’d been crying into the last hour after Jacob left. She still played their conversation over and over in her mind. He didn’t give her a chance to explain what happened. Jacob thought she had let him down by his not being her first, and she doubted Jacob would ever forgive her, let alone accept her baby.
She rubbed her tummy, knowing in her heart that she was indeed going to have a child—who she would love and protect like any good mother. And if Jacob didn’t want them, so be it.
Rania cocked her head hearing Hilda, talking to her horse and dog as they came up the road. She was going to have to break the news to her twin now. Rania cringed, knowing what her sister’s first reaction would be, but she knew Hilda’s comfort and understanding would quickly follow after the initial shock.
“Hey, Sis! Rania! Come out and see our dogs checking each other out. It’s hilarious.”
Rania opened the door, walked out on the porch and leaned against the support post. Her dog King looked petrified as Hilda’s ten–pound mop of a dirty white dog—fittingly named Miss Terror—barked and ran circles around his one hundred fifty pound body. That little dog was the main reason that Rania didn’t mind Hilda moving to her own place—although Rania would never tell her that. Her sister loved that little dog and it just fit with Hilda’s personality. At least the scene between the two dogs made her smile instead of cry.
Hilda hopped off Nutcracker and looped his reins around the front hitching post. Dressed in her usual men’s trousers, shirt, vest, and spurred boots, Hilda could pass for a man with her tall beanpole figure—until she swung her waist–long braid across her shoulder—which always had a tiny pink satin ribbon tied on its end.
“Why you looking so weepy–eyed today? Missing Momma and Poppa?” Hilda asked as she stomped her way up the steps and sat down on the rocker Rania had recently moved out onto the porch. Rania scooted the other chair on the porch to face Hilda before sitting down.
“We need to talk, Hilda. I’ve been keeping something from you. I’m sorry I did it, but I just needed to come to terms with it first.”
Both of Hilda’s feet hit the floorboards as she grabbed Rania’s hands. “We’ve never kept secrets from each other …but I’ve been feeling like something’s been bothering you.”
“I’m pretty sure, now, that I’m going to have a baby.” Rania sighed with relief now that she had told her twin.
“What? How? When? You and Jacob haven’t…” Hilda struggled to ask.
“No, not Jacob. Before that…when we were driving cattle up here. It happened before we left Texas.” Rania squeezed her eyes shut with the vile memory of that horrible night. “Hilda, Sid Narker threatened to kill all of you if I…didn’t do what he wanted.”
“Why didn’t you slug him in the groin right then and there?”
“I couldn’t Hilda…”
“Yes you could have. We’ve always known how to fight, living with our big brothers and surviving out on the trail,” Hilda announced, accusing Rania of not fighting back like she should have.
“Remember his ‘Yellowbelly’ Henry repeating rifle?”
“Yes, he bragged about it and tossed cartridges in his hand around us girls all the time.”
“Well, one night we went up on a hill above the camp and I thought he was going to kiss me. Instead he showed me how we could see our whole family, within range, around the campfire. And he loaded the rifle, one cartridge at a time, saying ‘this one’s for your momma, this one’s for your poppa…’ until he got down to a cartridge for you. Then he kept loading, rattled off our hands’ and horses’ names until the rifle was full of rounds.”
“I can’t believe…” Hilda interrupted.
“The man was crazy and would have done it! After he…violated me…Sid told me to go back to camp, and if anybody so much as looked up at him, he’d start shooting. And remember every night after that, he’d find a place after supper to ‘keep watch’ he’d say, so I wouldn’t tell anyone what he’d done to me.”
Rania studied her twin’s face as Hilda’s mind replayed their trail days during this last trip. Hilda’s eyes grew wide and her mouth dropped open in horror when she realized it was true. “Oh Rania, I’m so sorry. Why didn’t I realize what was going on?”
“I kept it a secret to keep you all safe. I love you and want didn’t you to be hurt next.”
Hilda got out of the rocker and kneeled to give Rania a tight hug. Their wet cheeks were pressed together, giving each other comfort and strength.
“Thank you, Hilda, for slugging him with that limb when he cornered me again. But even after Narker left, I was so afraid he’d come back some night and start shooting.”
Hilda leaned back and wiped the tears running down Rania’s cheeks. “No wonder you got so thin on the trip. You were too scared to keep food down and tired from watching over us at night. Oh Rania, I’m so sorry you thought you had to carry this burden alone.”
“I just couldn’t bear to think I would be the cause of any of you coming to harm if I didn’t do as he demanded.”
“Well I thank you, dear sister, and now that we’ve moved to Kansas, you can sweep Sid Narker out of your mind,” Hilda said trying to ease Rania’s fears and worries.
“Not that simple, because I’m gaining weight and will be showing soon.”
“And here I was getting jealous because you were filling out, growing a chest, and catching good–looking Jacob’s attention.”
Rania squeezed her eyes shut, trying to keep her tears from flowing again. “Jacob told me today that he wanted to court me. I had to tell him I was having a baby. He had a right to know, but he left mad, without letting me explain how it happened.”
“He’ll come around because I’m pretty
sure he loves you, Rania. Jacob’s a good man, and he’ll support you.”
“Jacob looked at me in disgust, like I was lower class than a saloon girl who made her living working upstairs.”
“Fine. Then Jacob’s not good enough for you if he can’t show any compassion for what you had to do. Remember our whole family will be around to help with your baby.”
“Yes, but I was ready for my own home, a husband and family. I don’t want to keep living with our parents. And what will people say when I walk through town—pregnant with no husband?”
Hilda snorted in disbelief, “In this town—which has a whole lot more bachelors than available women? Before you could walk a block with a sign saying ‘I’m pregnant and want to marry you’, you’d have a half–dozen proposals to pick from.”
Rania laughed at the picture of her about nine months along and waddling down the street with Hilda’s idea of a sign. “Well at least you’ve gotten me out of my crying spell. I’ll just have to do my best for my baby.”
“Oh, what if you have twins like us?” Hilda was jumping up and down with excitement now.
“Please, no!” Rania groaned after covering her face with her hands. “I don’t know how Momma survived raising the two of us.” And how would I survive if I had two spitfire twins like Hilda at the same time?
Well, she’d plan for what she knew was coming into her life, and forget a future with Jacob. Rania’s chest tightened when thinking of another woman being in Jacob’s arms, but she would not settle for a man who didn’t trust her judgment, nor even listen to why she had to make the choice she felt was right at the time.
“Have you eaten yet?” Rania asked Hilda.
“Yes, since it’s almost two hours past noon. I know you usually lunch with Jacob so I waited until now to visit you.”
“Jacob left before we ate, so there’s still food sitting out on the table. And since I can’t stomach the thought of food in the morning, but eat like a horse at noon, I need to eat. And gain more weight,” Rania sighed.
Rania Ropes a Rancher Page 6
