After breaking the kiss, Stella stared into his eyes. “What?”
“You don’t believe that fate led us together?”
“No.” She ran her thumb down his chin. “Why?”
“I just think fate brought us together. I believe that things happen for a reason and eventually you end up where you’re supposed to be.”
“I believe you make your own way.” She shrugged. “Things happen to people all the time that don’t have a reason…child abuse and rape to name just a few.”
“Well, I think that fate gives you opportunities to pick different ways to go. You sat at my bar for two years before I finally asked you out. Then I let you go. Fate put you there.” He pointed out the window to the park in front of the Potomac where he’d found her the day she saw Jamie again.
“That was fate? I think it was just bad luck for you.” She chuckled at her own joke.
“I refuse to let you go, El.” George’s brows furrowed, suddenly serious. He couldn’t help but feel her pulling away from him for some reason.
“I’m just going to my parents’ house, George, nothing is changing between us.”
George shifted abruptly, grabbed a tennis ball off his night stand, and threw it out the door. Cooper jumped off the bed and ran down the hall. George leapt from the bed and shut the door.
“Coop has been messing with my fate of making love to you this morning and I just made it happen,” George said.
Stella’s head fell back, laughing.
“You may not believe in fate, but I do,” he whispered in between soft kisses to her earlobes. “Fate brought us together and I refuse to lose you again.”
George kept her in bed for most of the morning; they only took a break when he got hungry. They walked to Cosi, holding hands. While they ate, Stella wrapped her left leg around his right leg, afraid to not touch him. They gazed into each other’s eyes; it was evident to anyone who saw them they were totally in love. Putting off the inevitable, she pushed her chair out and sighed. “We’ve got to go,” she said.
“Stay.” He stood up and took their trash to the trash can.
“I can’t. I won’t be gone long.” Stella put her hand on his cheek.
“Love, I can’t explain it. I’ve got a really bad feeling.”
Stella tried to ease his fears on the way home. Cooper was waiting at the door when they got there, sitting next to her suitcase, refusing to be left. George ran his hand over Cooper’s head. He packed her bags in the trunk of the car, and looked at her as she stood in the doorway of the garage. She smiled a crooked smile and cocked her head to the side.
“I’m going to miss you,” Stella said from the doorway. Cooper stood in front of her, looking a little nervous that she was going to make him stay with George again.
“I love you.” George stalked over to her and gave her a careful bear hug. Cooper didn’t budge and stood in between them. They both laughed.
“I’ll text you when I get there.”
George watched her let Cooper into the car, where he sat up tall against the passenger seat. She smiled at him as she walked around the front of her car. He opened the garage door for her and held up his hand as she backed out.
He didn’t like it. Stella and Cooper had just left for Atlanta, where Jesse fucking McIntyre just happened to live. He couldn’t lose her. He wouldn’t lose her. He’d felt her putting up walls around herself. Some of the time, she seemed far removed from their relationship and he had no idea what she was thinking or feeling. The other part was great. Feeling his grasp on her loosening was the scariest feeling he’d ever had. His ringing phone pulled him out of his thoughts.
“Hey,” he answered.
“She leave?”
“Yeah, she just left,” George answered and walked out to his back deck. He sat in the chair with a groan.
“I need to give you some information you’re not going to like,” Patrick said.
“Why don’t you just come over?”
“Okay, give me a few minutes.”
“See you.” George disconnected.
He ran his hand through his hair and over the new stubble he’d probably let grow for awhile since Stella wasn’t going to be around. Walking back into the house, he wondered what Patrick would have to tell him that he wouldn’t like.
It’s always fucking something. George had come to the conclusion long ago that it would always be something where Stella was concerned; he’d just have to suck it up and deal with it. Maybe he should’ve proposed last night; like his dad used to say, ‘fish or cut bait.’ George didn’t like to ask questions that he didn’t know the answer to and the truth of the matter is, Stella could’ve said no.
She and Cooper only had to stop once in North Carolina on the way to Atlanta. As she pulled in her parents’ driveway, she released a breath she felt like she’d been holding for a month. It was after 11:00 at night, but her parents’ house was lit up. They were waiting up for her. She sat in the car while she texted George.
Made it
George responded immediately.
Miss ur body underneath me
Stella sighed, she missed him too, but in order to move forward with George she had to do this.
Sext you later
Her phone beeped immediately with his response.
I’ll give you 5 minutes
Chapter Fifteen
Bottoms Up
She lay paralyzed on the floor of the makeshift FBI office. Clad in the suit she wore the day she was shot, her shirt was littered with bullet holes. She heard voices off in the distance and she turned her head to the left to hear more. She heard male voices yelling; she strained to hear, but she still couldn’t move. George. It was George’s voice. He was yelling at someone. Then there were rapid footsteps that got louder by the second.
“Stella!” George yelled and fell to his knees next to her.
“I’m okay,” she whispered. George scooped her up into his arms and began to walk. Shots rang out and George stilled. His arms begin to lose their grip on her. She screamed. “GEORGE!”
“I love you,” George whispered as he fell backward and Stella, still paralyzed, fell on top of him. His blood seeped into her suit and her hair.
“George!” Stella sobbed.
Stella felt hands around her arms, shaking her violently. She opened her eyes slowly. They were soaked from crying. Her mother’s frightened face appeared before her.
“Stella! Stella, you’re okay. You’re okay.”
She wiped her eyes with her sheet and turned away from her mother.
“Do you have these dreams often?”
Stella grunted. “About as often as I throw up,” she retorted. It was still dark outside; she got up and walked downstairs.
Her mother followed her into the kitchen and watched as Stella poured herself a glass of straight vodka from the freezer. Taking a gulp from the glass, she let out a hiss as it burned her throat. Stella smiled as her mother took a glass out of the cabinet and filled it with vodka as well. They clinked glasses and both turned their glasses up.
“You’re not okay,” her mom said softly.
“Not by a long shot.” Stella finished off her glass and poured another.
“What can I do?”
“That’s what I’ve been asking myself for the past three months, Mom.” Stella leaned against the counter.
“Stella, there has to be something I can do.”
“If I knew I would have already done it. I’m trying to be normal, trying to get through it.” She turned up the vodka and smiled sadly at her mom. “You know, my body was stitched up in the hospital, but what really needed to be put back together was the rest of me. You know, I thought losing Jamie was bad. I completely fell apart, but I put myself back together. It took everything I had to do it once. I don’t know if I can do it again.”
“But you are doing it.”
“Perception is 99 percent of everything, I guess.” She walked toward stairs to go back to bed. “I’m get
ting good at pretending.”
Stella stretched her legs and arms in opposite directions as she lay in her bed at her parents’ house. Her legs were stiff from all the squats she did yesterday. Jesse’s trainer was really kicking her ass, but she was back to her pre-shooting weightlifting regimen and she couldn’t be happier. She’d also added a self-defense class and the trainer had her and Jesse sparring against each other. The training was invaluable. Also, it was at his house, so there were no prying eyes or camera phones posting her workouts online.
Jesse had been completely accepting of her with all her faults. It was like he understood what she was going through without her even vocalizing it. She confided in him things she couldn’t tell anyone else. He knew how it felt to feel hunted and what it was like to have your every move scrutinized. “Everyone’s got a fucking opinion,” he’d told her.
He was the only person she’d told about her plans, hence the weight training and self defense he was bankrolling. Stella had protested Jesse paying for everything, but he insisted. She tried to analyze herself, why she picked him as her confidant instead of Patrick or George. Their connection wasn’t romantic, so she felt safe showing him all her ugliness; he passed no judgment. The Falcons didn’t make the playoffs this year, so he had down time, explaining it would be easier to make plans with her in Atlanta. He told her about his trainer and the plantation his buddy owned in South Carolina where they could go and shoot. That’s where they were going today.
Trying to determine the best strategy regarding her parents and her car, they thought it would be best for her mother to drop her off at a shopping mall in Peachtree Corners, Georgia, which was located in between their houses. She’d tell her parents she was spending the night with a friend from law school who had settled in Atlanta. Then Jesse would pick her up at the bookstore and they would drive to the plantation in Aiken, South Carolina. It was only about three hours from Atlanta and they could spend the day shooting the gun he’d gotten for her. Jesse told her his buddy would close the entire plantation for him. It would only be her, Jesse, and his friend. He promised they could trust Brian; they had grown up together in the low country of South Carolina and were like brothers. Brian already knew she was coming.
She told George the same story she told her parents. He was glad she was doing something with friends, which made Stella feel worse about lying.
Rolling out of bed, she padded over to the bathroom and started the shower. She brushed her teeth and put everything she used into her bag. The hot water rolled over her sore muscles and she swore under her breath. Stella was using the pain medication sparingly, but damn, all this working out was making her entire body hurt. Yesterday had been the hardest workout yet.
Stepping out of the shower, she heard her phone ring. It said it was a blocked number and she let it go to voicemail as usual. She dried off and put the phone to her ear. Jamie was taunting her. He knew where she was, of course—the entire world knew what she ate for lunch. He was getting close, he told her. Good. I’m getting ready.
She’d missed a few texts from Millie and quickly scrolled through them.
Trending on twitter
#stellaandjesse
#stelly
#finneganssingle
Her shoulders slumped as she thought about George; maybe he wasn’t seeing all this speculation about their relationship. She texted him.
Love
He responded after a few seconds.
I miss you Bed is too empty without u
She smiled at his text and put her phone in her purse. After she dried her hair and put on makeup, she rolled up a pair of jeans, a couple of shirts, and a sweatshirt and threw everything she needed into her workout bag. It was going to be chilly outside in January. Pulling on a light purple sweater and grey corduroy pants with her knee high brown riding boots over them, she examined herself in the mirror. As she took in her outside, she inventoried her inside as well. Things were progressing. She was getting ready.
Stella opened the bedroom door and called, “Mom, you almost ready?”
“Yes, give me a few minutes!” her mother yelled from her room.
Cooper was pacing between her parents’ door and her door. She rubbed his head. “You need to go outside?”
At the word “outside,” Cooper raced down the stairs and straight to the back door. He’d gained weight over the last couple of months because Stella couldn’t run outside with him as much. Several times when she tried in Old Town, Cooper had tried to bite cameramen. They ran on the Mall occasionally, but not often enough for Coop to stay slim. Of course, there were YouTube videos of her running in slow motion. She’d vomited when she’d seen those. It was all so embarrassing. Her life was once again unrecognizable. There is only so such much one person could take.
Her mother walked to the back door and watched Cooper running around the yard. “You’ll be back Saturday?”
“Yep, her mother has a house at Lake Oconee or something and we’re going over there for the weekend. It’ll be nice to have a break from the house. No offense.”
“Baby,” her mother cooed, smoothing Stella’s hair back. “I know you feel like a caged animal. We were hoping it would be better here than it was in DC. I’m sorry it’s been worse.”
“Not your fault,” she said. “Coop, come.” Cooper came bounding up the stairs on the deck and then in the house, breathing heavily. “You’re out of shape, my friend.”
“Maybe I’ll take him on a walk after I drop you off. I haven’t seen any press today.”
“Great!” Stella picked up her bag and walked to the garage. “Let’s go.”
They didn’t have to drive too far to the Forum shopping area in Peachtree Corners. Her mother dropped her off with reminders to be careful. Stella grabbed her bag, pulled her wool cap down, and put her sunglasses on. She walked to the bookstore and walked around until she saw the massive body that was Jesse enter the store. She smiled; his swagger was so prominent, it was laughable. She guessed if you play professional football you have to be that confident about everything. It was hard to tell he came from a family where he was the first to graduate from college; he was well on his way to building an empire. He had his own sporting goods line and workout wear. Jesse was also looking into writing a biography, hoping to give boys an example of an attainable goal. She’d known immediately they would be friends. His friendship was one she was extremely grateful for, he was a genuine friend.
Stella waved once they made eye contact and made her way from the back of the store. Jesse nodded and then turned around and walked out. She followed a little bit behind him. If they were seen together, more people would take notice.
Stepping up her pace a bit, she caught up with him behind the store in the parking lot. He’d borrowed his trainer’s SUV and opened the passenger door for her.
“Thanks,” she said, climbing in and scanning the area for any prying eyes. She threw her bag in the back. “I got you this,” she said handing him the tea she’d bought for him.
“Thanks, Stella.” He took a tentative sip. “You ready?”
“Sure.”
As Jesse pulled onto I-20 going east, he looked at her. “You really think you’re ready to go where this is taking you?”
Pushing her glasses up her nose, she answered as honestly as she could. “I don’t fucking know, J. I mean is this really my life? I’m plotting to kill someone. Someone I once loved and was going to spend the rest of my life with. I’ve had enough. I’ve been pushed to the edge of sanity. He’s destroyed my life, twice. I’m afraid what will happen if I don’t follow through.”
“You can’t come back from this, Stella. Ever.” Jesse stared straight ahead.
“There’s nothing left of my life, J.”
“George is left.”
“Will he be, though?” She mindlessly ran her hand through her hair. “Would you be after everything? All the lying, the deceiving I’ve done?”
“Why does he have to find out?”
&
nbsp; “Because I’m going to tell him. Because I love him and he deserves to know who I really am.”
“You don’t think he knows who you are? He probably knows you better than you think.”
“Only you know who I’ve turned into, J. I’m afraid when George sees the real me he’ll run the other way as fast as he can.”
“You didn’t worry about that with me?” Jesse kept his eyes on the road.
“Not after that one conversation we had, J. Not after you told me what you did. I knew you felt the same sort of hate that ate at you at one point. The fact that you made it to the other side is something I’m relying on. I’m hoping you can help me make it to the other side when everything goes down.”
They pulled through a gate with brick pillars on each side, the name of the plantation carved on a wooden sign hanging from the right pillar. Stella couldn’t quite make it out as they drove through. The drive to the main house was at least a half a mile and surrounded by woods on either side. They pulled up in front of an expansive red brick plantation-style house with a white wraparound porch complete with rocking chairs and iron boot scrapers.
Jesse pulled up close to the main house and told Stella they would actually be staying in one of the twenty cottages that lined the property. She got out of the SUV and shut the door. Three dogs came running up immediately. Then she heard a male’s voice yell.
“Ned! Sally! Bertha!” The voice came from a guy driving a golf cart, decked out with lights and roll bars, around the side of the house. He stopped directly in front of her. “You must be Stella. I’m Brian.” He was wearing a University of Georgia hat and a black fleece. He got out of the camouflage painted vehicle and extended a hand to her. He had hazel eyes and an easy smile.
“Yes,” she said, shaking his hand vigorously. “Thank you so much for helping me.”
“No problem, anything for Jesse,” he said, grinning.
Jesse rounded the front of the SUV and they embraced, complete with manly back slapping. “Hey, man. I appreciate you doing this. I know deer season is over so you probably weren’t busy, anyway,” Jesse joked.
Tension Page 16
