“Lies. All lies. And even if he had, you would’ve deserved it. You were always a wanton girl.”
Emily stood and walked to the door, unable to take any more of the abuse. She’d come expecting… well, she hadn’t expected this. Not total disdain and rejection. Perhaps it was what she deserved.
“You were a disappointment from the day you came into this world.” Mama said it to her back, and it was a knife straight through to her heart.
“Goodbye, Mama. Get some rest.” She left before the woman could shoot any other insults at her. The walk through the brown halls swam by in a haze of tears and disappointment.
She’d wanted so much to be loved. She’d wanted so much to believe she deserved it.
Emily started her car a few minutes later and let the engine lull her.
Determination tickled the back of her mind, egging her own to fulfill the one wish she’d promised herself.
She had to see the kids.
CHAPTER FOUR
A day had passed since she’d been to her mother and a week since Chase had rejected her. Every time she tried to contact him, the call went straight through to voicemail.
The message was clear. He didn’t want anything to do with her, and she didn’t blame him for it, she blamed herself.
At least she was in her own place, at least she’d spotted a couple job interviews in the paper. There were options, but they all seemed bland without him.
Emily glared at the front door of Brian’s house. The construction which had once been her home as well, but was no stranger than fiction. Inside, Becci and Jared were probably having breakfast or doing something fun.
Brian’s Audi wasn’t in the drive.
If she had a choice, she wouldn’t be out here, he would. She’d be at the breakfast table, serving up pancakes with a smile and joking about what they’d do that weekend. Her and…
No.
She swallowed hard.
Emily got out of the car and slammed the door shut. She didn’t bother locking it, but strolled up to the house as if she didn’t have a care in the world. Inside, she was raw, burned to a crisp. There was only so much she could take of this. She had to focus on getting the kids back.
The clang of the doorbell reverberated through her. There were footsteps on the other side and she held her breath.
The door creaked open and Amanda peered through the crack. “You need to leave.”
“Oh come one, Amanda. He’s not here. His cars not around.” Emily leaned back for a second and checked the side of the house near the garages. Nothing.
“It doesn’t matter. He’s got camera s here, Emily.”
“You sound afraid.”
“I can’t talk,” she whispered, then raised her voice, “You must leave right now. My husband is going to take out a restraining order against you.”
Amanda was different somehow. She had this air about her, as if she was weighed down.
“What’s bothering you?” Emily asked, real concern cropping up in spite of the way Amanda had behaved in the past while.
“I’m asking you nicely,” she whispered back, “please leave.”
“I came to see the kids and I’m not going until I get my chance.”
Amanda came out of the house and onto the porch, then shut the door behind her just as she’d done each time Emily had come to visit.
“I’m afraid that’s not possible.” Amanda folded her arms and glanced up at the roof. Emily followed her line of sight and spotted the object of concern. It was a surveillance camera, shaped like an orb secreted just under the eaves.
It was sleek and black.
“Like Brian’s soul,” Emily whispered to herself and gave her first real chuckle in days.
“Pardon?” Amanda asked and Emily waved a hand.
“I don’t care about Brian and his camera. Bring the kids out back so I can have a chat with them.”
“I can’t and I won’t.”
“Why not. Surely you understand how important it is for me to see them?”
“I – Look, they’re not home, all right? Even if I could send them out, I wouldn’t though.” Amanda inched back to the door, separating herself from Emily’s gaze.
“Where are they, then?” She didn’t buy it for a second. This was just Amanda’s easy escape from the situation. Sure, Brian was a tyrant and he’d probably verbally abuse and threaten her if he found out about this discussion, but it wasn’t Emily’s problem. Amanda had chosen this, in spite of years of complaints from Emily.
She’d turned to her old high school friend time and time again throughout the marriage, to complain about Brian’s missing hours, his rough treatment, and his disdain for the kids.
“They’re out. I don’t have to give you that information.” Amanda said, glancing at the roof again.
“I’m their mother, I have legal rights to know where they are.”
“You’re a criminal.”
“That doesn’t take away my rights!” Emily half-yelled it and her old friend stumbled back a step. She calmed herself. “Just tell me where they are.”
“Becci is at a sleepover, she’ll be away all weekend. Jared is on a school trip.”
Emily examined Amanda closely. There was strain in every feature and movement. She had crow’s feet around her eyes, her lips were drawn into a thin line, and her usually loose and silken hair was tied up tight.
“Fine. But I will be back to see them again.”
“I don’t advise you to come back. My husband has been very clear on this. You are not to see the children because you will only negatively impact their lives.”
It sounded as if she’d been forced to learn a script and keep it on repeat.
“Amanda, you need to free yourself from this before it’s too late. Trust me. This man will be the end of you.”
Amanda’s pink lipstick was smudged at the corners, as if she’s slathered it on it a hurry moments before.
“You are just jealous,” she said, then marched back into the house and slammed the door shut behind her.
That was the height of delusional and there wasn’t a chance Amanda truly believed what she’s said. Emily traipsed back to the car, deflated and mildly concerned about her ‘friend’. Old habits died hard, but she didn’t cherish the concept of Brian making another woman his ‘bitch’.
She opened the car up and got into the driver’s seat, then sat for a while, looking back up at the place.
A curtain twitched upstairs and Becci appeared for a second before Amanda dragged her away.
“Sleepover, my ass.” Emily grunted, but she didn’t get back out the car. It was a pointless escapade. Amanda wouldn’t let her in and she couldn’t break in. There were too many cameras around the place now – Brian had obviously gone to town of late – and it wouldn’t sit well in the eyes of a judge in a custody hearing.
Emily shifted around, eager to do something, anything, other than be consumed by depression. If only she could make things right, prove herself to Chase, prove herself to everyone.
She took out her phone, no messages, then typed in Chase’s cell number. She stared at it, finger hovering over the green button.
“I have a better idea.” She said it out loud.
She tossed the phone onto the passenger seat, started the engine and zoomed off down the street. He’d listen to her one way or another!
CHAPTER FIVE
The elevator doors slid open without a sound and she stepped past the attendant with a smile. Albeit a bloody nervous smile. It was a Saturday morning. He had to be in.
“Thanks,” she said to the man in the suit with the comical hat on his head.
“The pleasure is all mine.” And he didn’t say it in the horribly sleazy way she was accustomed to, either. Hopefully, that was a good sign.
Emily walked down the hall to Chase’s apartment and stood in front of it for a few minutes. If she could explain what had happened properly, perhaps he’d find it in his heart to forgive her.
/> It was a long shot, but she had to let him know that she was remorseful. Under normal circumstances she’d never hurt anyone. She still couldn’t believe it, but Brian had testified that she’d argued with him that night.
He’d played the grieving husband for the court, telling them she had a drinking problem, that she’d physically wrested the keys from his grip and refused to go anywhere unless he allowed her to drive.
It wasn’t her character at all, but no amount of convincing would sway the jury. The evidence was there: she’d been in the driver’s seat after the crash, her fingerprints all over the wheel.
Brian had taken the knock as a political figure, especially one who lobbied against drinking and driving.
Emily knocked once.
The door clicked open moments later.
“Oh my, I wondered when we could expect a visit from you, dear.” Chastity was in her usual black splendor – a satin scarf paired with a silk blouse and tailored pants. She wore a grin which bit at Emily’s constitution.
That ruthlessness was on show today. No veneers for Miss Mock Johnny Cash. Emily took a moment to appreciate that private joke.
“Well?” Chastity asked, flashing more of those perfectly bleached teeth. “Aren’t you going to come in?”
This was the last person Emily had wanted to run into, barring Brian of course. Or Janet. Or Amanda. Okay, so there were a lot of people she didn’t want to run into, but Chastity definitely cracked the top three on that list.
The pretentious woman moved aside and gave a gracious gesture for Emily to enter. Chase wasn’t home – there wasn’t a cold chance in hell his sister would let her in if he was. Emily half-turned to leave.
“Leaving so soon?”
“No, of course not.” She let pride devour her and stepped into the stylish entrance area of the apartment. Was Chase at the office? Maybe she could make it there before he left and get to him before dearest ‘Chas’ got to him.
“What a pleasant surprise. Can I get you something to drink? Beer, water, a cup of antifreeze perhaps?”
“Really, Chastity, I thought open hostility was below your station.” Emily mocked.
“Given the present company, I thought it best to sink to a certain level or repartee.”
Emily gave a low growl in her throat, then silenced herself. She wouldn’t give the other woman the satisfaction of her anger. What a cow.
“Come to see my brother I assume?” Crisp steps took Chastity over to the sink, where she poured herself a glass of water. She took it into her mouth in tiny slurping sips.
“It’s none of your business what I do or who I talk to.”
“As it is none of your business what my brother does. Though, I suppose it’s only fair you know certain details of his life.” She gave a little giggle and Emily gritted her teeth. This couldn’t be good.
“I’d rather to talk to Chase in person. Get the actual facts rather than a garbled version from a bitter woman. You look like you’re a widower, by the way.”
“Petty words from a low class girl. What should I have expected, however? Better? Certainly not.” She drew the scarf from her neck in a long stream of satin and let it drift to the countertop. She held herself like a Queen, or the poor imitation of one.
“Say what you want to say. I don’t have time for your theatrics.”
“You are aware of Janet and Chase’s engagement, oui?”
“Vividly.” Emily couldn’t keep the bitterness from her answer.
Chastity tittered again. “Then I am sure you will be overjoyed to hear they are getting married.”
“I don’t mean to be crude, but what the fuck are you talking about, bitch?” Emily couldn’t resist. Swearing in the woman’s presence was a sure fire way to get her back up. She loved the reaction, the stiffening of the neck, the pursing of the lips.
Chastity touched her slicked back hair – checking that the curse word hadn’t dislodged a hair, no doubt – and cleared her throat. “Your class never ceases to amaze me.”
“As your pretention does for me.”
“My point is, stripper girl, Chase and Janet have set the date. In three months from now, they will be wed.”
Over her dead body! “Whatever you say. I’ll speak to Chase about it.”
“I’m afraid he has no interest in speaking to you, given that you killed his parents.”
Something tweaked in the back of Emily’s brain. She cocked her head to one side and examined Little Miss Black Boobs. “Don’t you mean ‘our’?”
“What are you on about?”
“You said ‘his parents’ instead of ‘our parents’.”
Chastity went even paler – if it was possible. “Semantics. Don’t try and distract from the crux of the issue, stripper. You see, my brother is tired of your mistreatment. You were a poison, using him for his resources. You sucked him dry. He’s exhausted from your betrayal and he doesn’t want to see you again.”
They were the words Emily had repeated to herself since she’d last seen him. The sentiments of worthlessness. She didn’t have a chance with him anymore, but she was still drawn to him. They were miles apart in distance and their hearts, but it was as if they could touch each other through a veil.
A shadow of need and desire.
But now she wasn’t worthy of those sensations. It burned at her each day, breaking apart her strength.
“You’re a vicious little liar and classless to boot. I suggest you leave and don’t return. It’s what my brother wants.”
Emily gripped her handbag tight under her arm. “All right, I’ll leave. But only because I know that Chase is across town and not here. I will speak to him and I don’t believe a word of your poison. Your lies. Good afternoon, Chastity.”
She left the apartment door open on her way out. She wouldn’t let that horrid woman see her tears, even though they already brimmed at the bottom of her lids. It was too much to handle.
She had to get back to her apartment and spend some time alone. She had to figure it out.
If there was a way.
CHAPTER SIX
Emily stumbled down the front stairs of the building, holding back the tears with the sheer force of her will.
Chastity was a bullshitter, but the fact remained: she didn’t deserve Chase after all that had happened. She didn’t deserve affection when she’d messed up this much. Her vision blurred but she barreled onwards regardless.
She looked down, shielding herself from having to take in the surroundings. A woman laughed nearby and she sank inwards. It couldn’t be at her, could it?
Emily slammed into a concrete wall and toppled backwards onto her ass. Perfect. Just what she’d needed.
“Shit, are you okay?” A guy knelt beside her and offered his hand. He had spectacles on, but they were squared off and snazzy. His hair was cut short, skin tanned, good looking, not that it mattered.
She swallowed a couple times. “Sorry, I wasn’t looking where I was going,” she said to the concrete wall, a.k.a. the dude with the caring eyes.
“No problem. Neither was I, to be honest.” He glanced around at the papers scattered across the sidewalk. “I’d better get these before they blow away.”
Emily got up and helped him collect the papers into a messy bundle.
“I’m Joseph, by the way,” he said, pushing his glasses up his nose.
Those tears hadn’t left her quite yet. She struggled with a brave face. “Emily.”
“Nice to meet you. I know I hit you hard, but I didn’t realize it was ‘crying’ hard,” he quipped, but she didn’t smile. “And I’m making it worse. Good job, Joseph,” he muttered to himself.
Several women strolled by, watching warily in case she was in trouble. Crying women set people on high alert, apparently.
“Emily, are you okay?”
“No.”
“Emily, do you want to talk about it?”
She formed another ‘no’, but didn’t release it.
“I killed the pa
rents of the man I was in love with,” she yelled, and a few people stopped and stared. “Would you want to talk about that, Joseph?” That dam broke and tears spilled everywhere, like blood on the battlefield. Her heart was the wounded soldier.
Joseph took two awkward steps forward and folded her into a bear hug. “There, there,” he said softly, and she hiccupped a few times. “Come on. Let me take you for a coffee. I think you need it.”
“No, it’s okay,” she mumbled between sobs. “I’ll be fine.”
“Like hell you will. Come on, let’s go.” He detached from the hug, then hooked her arm into his and escorted her across the street. Tears still streamed from her eyes, but she couldn’t stop the flow.
She was unloved, unworthy and she couldn’t get to her kids. It’d finally added up, with Chastity driving the final nail into her pity-party coffin.
They entered a small diner off the street and were seated in red vinyl booths. It was an old school place, with checkered floors and waitresses roller skating around.
“Just two coffees for now thanks,” Joseph said to the waitress then refocused on Emily.
Her reflection wavered in the steel serviette dispenser and she picked one of the paper clothes out and dabbed at the smudged mascara on her cheeks.
“I’m sorry for the outburst,” she sniffed, regaining a little composure.
“I’ve been around enough crying women to know when there’s a serious issue. So spill. You need to get this off your chest and I’m the perfect candidate. I’m not involved in it and who the hell am I going to tell?”
“I guess.”
The waitress skated up and skidded to halt, carrying a tray, a pot of coffee and two white, squat cups. “Order up,” she said with a wink, between masticating her gum like a cow out to pasture.
“Thanks.” Joseph grinned and poured the coffee into the cups.
Emily took a sip of hers and spluttered at the strength of it.
“You were saying?” He asked, stirring sugar into his own.
“Just what I said out on the street. I killed Chase’s parents in a car accident and now he wants nothing to do with me. I can’t get my kids back. I can’t talk to my mother. I have no one.” She summed it up quickly, purely to avoid facing the negative emotions head on.
Never Say Never, Part Three (Second Chance Romance, Book 3) Page 2
