Ole girl morphed right before my eyes: horns grew out her head and wings sprouted out her back. This was not the conversation that I had intended to have with her.
“Are you out your motherfucking mind? What the hell do you want from me? I cannot be your fucking friend. Do you hear me? I was your wife for Christs’ sake! How can you expect me to sit back and allow you to walk in my office like I’m one of your boys and shit when I used to suck your dick? Do you know how stupid that makes me feel knowing that you peed with that shit?”
She had hurt me more with those words than any of the crummy shit I could have come up with to degrade myself. I lowered my head into my hands. I could not believe that my life had taken such a drastic change. She was my bottom bitch, and I had demoted her for a fucking dog. How could I explain that shit? I’ll never redeem myself from that faithless moment. I only have this moment. “I’m sorry for the pain I caused you.”
“Is that why you are here … to apologize? I could have done without that shit.”
“Please stop. I didn’t come here to reenact shit. I came because deep down inside I still love you; you are connected with me. I wanted to share with you the good things that are happening in my life.” I couldn’t look at her.
“Why do you think I care?”
“’Cause you are not the type of woman to shut that shit off right away. You will care because that’s how you are. Are you dating someone?”
“That is none of your business.”
“That haircut looks great on you. What made you decide to do that after all these years?”
“I needed to change some things in my life, and my appearance was the first thing.”
I thought about what she said. “I take that onE personal.”
“Yes it was. Prior to your little announcement, I was happy. Happy with my life and my appearance.”
“What I’m going through has nothing to do with you.”
“Funny, I feel like it has everything to do with me.”
“Are you ready to tell me, honestly, what it is that you are going through?”
“Uh … it’s complicated. I don’t really understand it myself. If it makes you feel any better, I haven’t been with any other woman.”
“No, that doesn’t make me feel better. Sorry. Look, if you came here for a feel-better pill, I’m all out.” She gave me a look that was unfamiliar.
I hung my head trying desperately to find something else to say that would take the venom out of her mouth. “Hey, I took your advice: I’m back in school; I’m going to take the test finally.”
“Good for you,” she said sarcastically.
I didn’t expect her to do cartwheels or anything like that, but I did expect her to be at least a little happy with me for finally growing up. “I know it took me a minute to get myself together, baby, but I’m on my way.”
“Baby? You divorced your baby if I’m not mistaken.”
I stood up. Clearly I was wrong in coming to her for the encouragement I needed. I had pissed away any chances of that. “I’m sorry to have bothered you. Have a nice life.” I grabbed the door and made no attempt not to slam it shut. Gone was the high that I had floated into her office with. IT was replaced with self-loathing for all the pain I had caused Felicia. If I only knew how to make it right for her, I would do it. Problem was I didn’t know what was right.
CHAPTER 20
Felicia
“Randy, wait,” I CALLED after him as he exited my office. My head was tilted on the door for support.
He spun around. His face hopeful.
“Please come back in.”
He followed me back into the office, and I closed the door. I didn’t want to air our dirty laundry all over my office. “I’ve been acting on emotion ever since you announced you wanted a divorce.” I paused to collect my thoughts. “The hardest thing for me to understand is why; and as a result, I lashed out at you every chance I got. I’m sorry about that. If there was something that I wasn’t doing to make you happy, then you have every right to move on. So from this point on, I’m going to try to put this whole nasty thing behind us.” It took a lot for me to say that.
“I’m so glad to hear you say that. For the record, it’s not something that you did, so please don’t go blaming yourself. The problem is in me. But you’ve always been my best friend, and I don’t want to lose that,” he said.
“Well, I don’t know if I’m ready for that part of it yet, but I’m open to communication with you. So … what did you come here for?”
“I wanted to share with you that I’m finally going to take the CPA exam.” He smiled.
I stared at him in utter disbelief. Part of me wanted to get mad all over again; I had to fight those demons alone. To think that all the pushing and prodding I had done to make him take the test, he up and decided to do it after our divorce had become final. “What prompted you to do this?” my voice held a traceable bit of irritation. I picked up a pencil from my desk and began tapping it. What I really wanted to do was stick it straight in his eye.
“To be honest, I was out of choices. I had no marketable skills, and—without you as a safety net—I have to make a living.”
“Are you saying that I kept you from standing up and being a man?” I jumped up from my chair and began pacing my office. I felt as if he had sucker punched me in the face.
“No, Felicia, you did what every loving and supportive wife would do in your shoes, you stood by your man. But it’s time I stand on my own two feet.”
Wow! I would have never believed those words would have come out his mouth. “Well, I guess congratulations are in order.”
“Do you want to go out and celebrate?” His face lit up.
“Uh … wait. I said we would be friends. I’m not ready for anything else right now. Maybe we will celebrate once you pass the test.”
“I can live with that.”
There was a pause as I tried to think of something else to say to him. He also appeared to be at a lost for words.
“Felicia, I know this is a sore subject, but … how is the kennel?”
“I haven’t been by there, but I get weekly reports. It seems to be doing good. I hired a very good vet.”
He nodded in approval. “I’d like to stop by sometime to see the dogs.”
“We’ll see.”
“I understand. Just let me know. But hey, anytime you’d like to have dinner or something, let me know.” He stood to leave.
My heart prepared itself to leave with him. I didn’t know when I would be able to let that part of him go, but I was damn sure going to work hard on it since he’d let me go so quickly.
He said, “Alright then.”
When he closed the door, I laid my head down and cried.
* * *
Talisa came into my office after a light tap on the door. She was so quick, I didn’t have time to hid the tears that had stained my face.
She put her hands on her hips. “Girl, I know you ain’t in her having no pity party over no man. I don’t care how fine he is.”
“It’s more than just him. He’s just the tip of the iceberg. I keep trying to figure out what I did in this lifetime, or one before it, to deserve this type of treatment. He treats me like I’m the nigger down the street, not the woman that has shared his bed for thirteen years. I just can’t cut him out my life like that.” I wiped my tears with the back of my hand.
“You’re not supposed to, but that doesn’t mean that you have to get all sappy every time you see him. Try to treat him in the same manner he treats you. Make it all about business.”
“Yeah, that’s easier said than done.” I was slowly pulling myself together.
“That’s still because you are thinking with your pussy.”
“Talisa!” I was both shocked and amused at the same time. She was absolutely right. Every time I saw the man, all I wanted to do was throw him on the floor and fuck his brains out.
Talisa must have been reading my mind when she said: �
��You need a new dick in your life and a new look to go with the snazzy haircut. How about we cut out of here early and go shopping?”
“Oh, now that sounds like a plan.” I shut my computer off without even bothering to save all the changes I had made to my brief. I had been itching to shop for a minute and hated shopping alone.”
“Let me close up shop, and I’ll be ready to go in about five minutes,” she said.
She left my office and I was able to smile through the tears. I went into the bathroom and washed away the tracks my tears had left and reapplied some makeup. Talisa was ready when I came out of my office.
“Do you want to drive or shall I?” I said, heading to the elevator.
“I’ll drive. You drive like Ms. Daisy.”
“Oh, you got jokes.”
“Naw, seriously, I want to hit Lenox Mall and that traffic over there, at this time of the day, is a motherfucker.”
“Okay then.”
* * *
In no time we were speeding down the highway, headed to the mall.
“What are you looking for?” I said, checking out the scenery.
“Nothing really. This trip is for you. You’ve been wearing black and brown since I met you. It’s springtime! Time to show off those shapely legs of yours and to get rid of those long-ass skirts you tend to favor.”
“My skirts aren’t long,” I said in a huff.
“Girl, please. Ankle length went out with the sixties. I’m not saying you have to wear them below the butt, but can you at least get a few over the knee?”
I ran a hand over my skirt. “We’ll see. I’m not making any promises.”
“So … what’s up with Mr. Jennings?”
“Our client?” I felt her watching me from the corner of her eye.
“You know damn well who I’m talking about. I saw the sparks fly between you two.”
“Girl, I don’t shit where I work.”
“But you aren’t going to deny the chemistry, are you?”
“No, he’s good looking and all; but, with my luck, that shit will backfire on me.”
“Umph ... what a waste of a good man.”
“How do you know he’s a good man? You just met him once.”
“I did my homework.”
I put my eyes on her. “Do tell.”
“He’s divorced, thirty-three, no children, and has more money than Midas.”
“That means he has hoochies chasing him for days.” I wrote the conversation off and focused on the scenery again.
“He’s a recluse just like you. His only hobby is working out and running track. He might play golf every now and then; but, other than that, he’s a homebody.”
“Damn, what did you do … follow the brother?”
She giggled. “You could say that.”
“Leave that alone. This is too close to my bread and butter; and, to be honest, I’m not ready to move onto anybody else right about now.”
“He’s been through a bad breakup, too. You two would be perfect for each other.”
Now she had my full attention. “How do you know all this?”
“You don’t pay me the big bucks for nothing. A girl has her ways.”
“Well, he isn’t interested in me anyhow.”
“Is that why he’s been calling since we met him at lunch this afternoon, trying to setup dinner with you?”
“He what?”
“Yeah.”
“Why didn’t you tell me before?”
“’Cause I was too busy questioning the hell out of him. Besides, you weren’t ready to hear it. You would have dismissed him and me without a thought.”
She had a point. I’d been wallowing in self-pity for so long, I would not have been receptive, but now a sista was desperate.
“What do you want me to say to him the next time he calls?” she asked.
“Put him through.” I had a grin on my face that could have lite up the car despite the sunlight.
* * *
The next afternoon, Talisa walked in my office and announced, “Sherman’s on line three.” She left before I could change my mind.
My palms were sweaty, and I couldn’t think of anything remotely interesting to say. I pulled in a deep breath and took the call. “This is Felicia.” I tried to hide the excitement in my voice, but I was beaming.
“Hello, pretty lady.”
My heart started to flutter. I hadn’t been called pretty since Randy and I had started dating.
“Mr. Jennings, I have to warn you. While I don’t mind your calling me by my given name, we must keep this conversation professional. I am your attorney. As such, those comments cannot be made.”
“My bad. I just couldn’t help myself. I will keep it professional until this case is over. After that, all bets are off.”
“So … what can I do for you today?”
“Well, it’s not a big problem, but I am still getting calls from your coworker Anita Williams. I don’t want to appear rude to her, but I only need one attorney, and I feel her intrusion to be unprofessional.”
I was boiling under my collar and wanted to march down the hall and snatch the white bitch off her fat ass.
“You’re right, Mr. Jennings, and I appreciate your bringing this to my attention. I will speak with the managing partner immediately, and I promise you this will not happen again.”
“Thank you. I mean the flowers were nice; but, unless they are coming from you, I’m not interested.”
“Flowers? What Flowers?” I wasn’t going to touch the last part of his statement.
“I received some from your firm with her signature on the card.”
I didn’t even bother to comment on that little innuendo. I just couldn’t believe the gall of Anita. I guess I shouldn’t have been surprised, because she had been trying sneaky shit like this since the first day I was hired. If you’ll excuse me, Mr. Jennings, I have some matters to attend to. If you think of anything else relevant to your case, please do not hesitate to contact my assistant, Talisa, and we will schedule a meeting.”
“Sure. I hope to speak to you soon and hope to have a speedy resolution in my case so we can get down to other matters at hand.” He hung up before I could respond.
I buzzed Talisa. “Talisa, could you please get Mr. Yeager on the phone. Let him know that I would like to see him immediately.
“Of course.”
She didn’t ask any questions. That was another quality that I loved about this woman. Within seconds, she was back on the phone and told me I could go right up.
* * *
I had rode the elevator the five floors up to his office, huffy and puffy the whole way. I knew I had to cool down before I entered his office, but I was still seeing fire. After a brief knock, I opened his door. “Gary, thanks so much for taking the time to see me.”
“Felicia, it’s always a pleasure. What can I help you with?”
“I’ll get right to the point: I just received a phone call from Sherman Jennings, the client you assigned to me, and he is complaining about Ms. Williams’s constant harassment.”
“Harassment is a harsh word. Are you sure you want to make this statement?”
“Those were his words, not mine. He is very happy with my representation and would appreciate it if she would withdraw from the case altogether.”
“I see, and how do you feel about this?”
“I agree. If I need her help, I’ll be the first to ask her. I told her as much when she scheduled that lunch appointment without me.”
“The way I hear it, it was her lunch appointment.”
I sat back in my seat obviously needing to rethink my approach to this. After all, I was dealing with a white man about a white woman.
“Yes, I’ll admit it was her appointment, but if I’m not mistaken, you gave the case to me; therefore, she had no business setting up a meeting with my client.”
“Point well taken. I will speak to Ms. Williams immediately. The last thing we need to do is upset someone
of Mr. Jennings’s caliber.”
“Thank you.” I stood up to leave.
“Don’t rush off. There are a few other things I wanted to pick your brain about.”
A feeling of dread came over me. I tried to avoid the managing partner’s office as much as possible. Since he had the ability to hire and fire at will.
“How’s it going with your new assistant?” he asked.
“Talisa, she is wonderful. We work well together. I believe she is a great asset to the firm.”
“She’s expressed interest in continuing her education and has asked the firm to supplement her fees,” Gary said, settling on the back of his leather lounger.
“Well, I think it will be money well spent. She has a very sharp mind and understands what we are trying to accomplish.”
“I take this as a positive endorsement.”
“Yes, it is.”
“Okay, I’ll approve it. Felicia, you’re doing an excellent job. Keep up the good work.”
With that comment, I was dismissed. I didn’t know whether to jump in the air or to kiss the man. I had managed to kill two birds with one stone. I was feeling great as I walked back to the elevator until I ran into Anita. That heifer had a way of turning my skin a lighter shade of brown.
“Hey sweetie,” she said with her irritating voice.
“Hi.” That wasn’t what I really wanted to say.
“You were in to see the big boss?”
“Yeah.”
“He called me too. Something important is about to happen, I can feel it.”
“Oh, okay.” I was on the verge of telling her fat ass off. Thankfully the elevator came before I could say anything else to her. In hindsight, I should have said something about her sneaky-ass assistant, but I was sure the time would come when I would get the opportunity to deal with that heifer, too.
* * *
“How did it go?” Talisa asked when I strolled pass her desk.
“Come on in.” I held the door open to my office so she could come in and I could shut the door. “I basically told him I didn’t appreciate her butting her nose into my case and that the client was sick of her. He immediately called her to his office.”
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