Nerdy by New Year

by Jessica Bucher

  The other girls were in their usual Friday night modes. I was so used to seeing Addy in the pool without makeup, I noticed more how different she looked with slightly darker eyes and glossy lips. Nora didn’t seem to do the makeup thing, but always dressed up when we hung out on the weekends, usually in a knee-length dress and boots.

  So why was Lucy dressing down?

  I wondered if my warming up to her at the creek the other day freaked her out. So now she was sending me all the do not proceed signs. Which wouldn’t be the end of the world, I reminded myself. I didn’t want to date Lucy Caldwell, anyway.

  Chapter Seven

  Lucy

  Alert the media, Simon Hawkins sat next to me at the movie theater and the world did not implode. When his Mom’s SUV pulled up to Nora’s farmhouse, I thought my blood pressure was going to go through the roof. How could Addy not tell me Gray invited Simon? That was a violation of every friend code we had. There were no secrets in this squad!

  Yet, everything went fine—more than fine, really. Simon actually paid me a compliment. Like a boyfriend compliment, or at least a boy that wants to be more than your friend. I tried not to overthink that. Simon had never shown any romantic interest in me—not even before the bad thing. A little over-anxious part of me worried Simon was being nice to me as some grand revenge scheme. Like he was going to make me fall in love with him and then dump me at prom or some other big dramatic reveal. Good thing I’d never fall for that, right?

  I mean, Simon definitely wasn’t my type. He hated parties, wore jeans that were too loose and bought his shoes at big box stores. No Lucy-Caldwell-boyfriend was that socially unaware. Yet, I’d been thinking a little bit about his lips lately.

  I really needed a distraction. I pulled out the squad goals book during my third period freetime. Thanks to my make under—and Nora and Addy being absolutely horrible and making me stick to it—I had the nerdy look down. And I wasn’t doing too bad on the altruistic part either. The creek clean-up had earned me two volunteer hours, and if the Owl Lady ever called back on my application, I could likely finish the other eighteen there.

  I had not, however, made any progress toward making things right with Trevor. So that afternoon when the lunch bell rang, I followed his pocket-protector-wearing butt over to the empty table where he now spent each lunch hour.

  I’ll admit it wasn’t nice of me to plant little seeds all over school that he was a cousin kisser, but he was the worst boyfriend I ever had. At first, I really liked him. He was different than the other guys I had dated. He didn’t play sports or pressure me to go further than I wanted to when we were making out. We connected as lab partners, and then one day, he asked for my number. I was dumbstruck because guys like him didn’t ask girls like me out. I was surprised he had the confidence, and somehow that made him seem more attractive to me. Everything was cool. Until it wasn’t.

  It didn’t take long for Trevor to get over the awe of dating a popular girl and turn into a jerk like everyone else. Pretty soon those tips he used to give me in chemistry started turning into condescending jabs. Instead of working together to complete assignments, he would rush through them, constantly commenting that it was easier for him to just do it himself then wait for me to catch on. By the end of the term, I felt stupid all the time and not just in chemistry. It was like I could never say anything without him rolling his eyes. And he didn’t ever want to hang out with my friends. It was perfectly fine to show me off to his at every gaming tournament in town but hang out with Nora and Addy? Nope, he was too busy for that.

  When we finally broke up, I felt like an anvil had been lifted off my chest. The feeling didn’t last long though because by Monday morning at school, he had already told everyone he broke up with me because I was a sloppy kisser who wouldn’t go past first base. Nevermind the fact that he’d never tried! That’s when I made up the cousin crush. I was hurt, angry, and immature. But in my defense, he’d made me feel that way in the first place.

  I almost chickened out. Just thinking about him made my blood boil. It was just one lunch, I told myself. One lunch and you don’t ever have to talk to Trevor Hatfield again. I inhaled deeply, then took the seat across from him.

  In true Trevor fashion, he continued reading his paperback sci-fi book as if no one had entered his space bubble. Sometimes I wondered how much impact my rumor really had on his social life. I mean seriously, kid had no social skills to start with.

  “Ahem,” I coughed, attempting to gain his attention.

  “Yes,” he growled, not bothering to lift his eyes from the page.

  “Do you have a minute?” I asked.

  “Depends, do you need some more material for your rumor mill? My mom got a new car last week, maybe you could go tell everyone we robbed the bank to get it. Or something juicier.” He slammed the book shut. “You like juicy rumors. How about, ‘Trevor’s Mom is having an affair with the car salesman’. That’s more your style.”

  I swallowed hard. Of course, Trevor wasn’t going to make this easy.

  “I actually came over here to apologize.”

  Trevor folded his arms across his chest, leaning back in his chair. “Oh really? What for? Homecoming was last month, little late for my vote...unless, you’re getting an early start on prom.”

  “It has nothing to do with that,” I said, trying to keep my voice from trembling. The last thing I wanted was to leave this conversation feeling the way I had in our relationship. Like everything I said was fodder for him to laugh at. “I just wanted to apologize. I shouldn’t have lied about you.” I stood my ground, looking directly at him as I said it. I was not going to be bashful. He was getting an apology because what I did was wrong, but that was all he was getting.

  Trevor looked at me with interest. “Is this part of your good girl makeover?” he asked, his eyes running over my bare face in a way that made my skin crawl.

  “It’s not part of anything,” I lied. “I just didn’t want to graduate high school regretting not saying I was sorry.”

  “I see,” said Trevor. He looked jostled, like he didn’t know what to make of this apology, or worse, how he could use it to his benefit. I had done what I came to do, so I stood to leave him. The sooner I could get out of his line of sight the better.

  “Hey Lucy,” he said as I turned to go. “Is that why you joined Key Club? You giving Simon his apology too?”

  I didn’t answer him. Instead I made a beeline for the library where I could hide out in peace. I didn’t like that he knew I was in Key Club, and I definitely didn’t like hearing Simon’s name from his lips.

  Simon

  Lucy’s new look must have stuck because she came to school this morning without all of that stuff that was normally all over her face. I overheard a few people in the lunchroom whispering about her as I passed, wondering if she was sick or going through a breakup.

  And I had to admit, I was curious too. Before we started high school, Lucy didn’t really do makeup. I still had a picture taped to the mirror in my bedroom of us in eighth grade at the holiday dance, and the only thing on her face was freckles and round-rimmed glasses. We both had huge, cheesy smiles and Santa hats on. It was before expectations and reputations began to rule our lives.

  As soon as I set my tray down at the table next to Gray, Lucy was walking away, and a little piece of my heart shattered when I watched her plop down next to Trevor Hatfield. I would never understand what she saw in that guy. He was a pretentious jerk. He wasn’t smarter or better looking than anyone, but you couldn’t tell him that. Maybe it was that obnoxious level of misguided confidence that girls liked in him.

  “Hey man,” Gray said, pulling my attention away from Lucy who was practically clawing at Trevor to get his attention.

  “Hey. Where’s your other half?” I asked, noticing that Gray was alone for the first time in a while.

  “She and Nora are helping Max study for the SAT. He has to take it next month, I guess.”

  I always seemed to f
orget that Addy’s brother was a year younger than us. He never seemed to hang out with people in his own grade.

  “So, I was thinking,” Gray continued, turning toward me. “Friday night was a lot of fun. And double dates could be fun—”

  “It wasn’t a date.” I quickly interjected, not wanting him to ever repeat those words around Lucy. I could not let her think that I was telling people we were going on dates.

  “Well...I know, but…” He raised his eyebrows at me like he wanted me to finish the punchline of the joke for him.

  “But nothing. Lucy and I...no. We’re never going to be like that.”

  “Remember at Willow’s party, you said you’d enjoy your trip a lot more if you had someone…”

  Humiliation swallowed me whole as I buried my face in my hands. I didn’t know what gave me the verbal diarrhea that night or why I decided to disclose all of that to Gray, but I couldn’t regret it more. Sure, I was craving that companionship more than ever, and yes, it would have been pretty kickass if Lucy and I were on the kind of terms that would enable us to get there, but we weren’t. There was a pretty solid chance that I was going to finish high school without ever having a serious girlfriend.

  “Look, man,” I muttered, keeping my head down. “Lucy and I have...history.”

  Gray perked up. “Oh really?”

  “Not that kind of history,” I corrected him. “Didn’t your girlfriend tell you this story?”

  “I would remember if she did.”

  “Yeah, I wish this was the kind of thing you could forget, but it’s not.”

  Across the cafeteria, Lucy seemed to be getting frustrated with Trevor, and I let it distract me for a moment. What on earth could she be arguing with him about now? They broke up forever ago, and I hadn’t seen her hanging out with him lately. A shade of possessiveness washed over me as I saw him scowl at her. I didn’t like the way he was talking to her at all.

  “So...this is the part where you fill me in.” Gray snapped his laptop closed and looked at me, waiting.

  I let out a sigh. I really didn’t want to tell him this story. Talking about it would be like living it all over again.

  “Back in middle school, I was really into Harry Potter and some other fandom stuff.”

  “Sure,” Gray shrugged, as if he was endorsing the idea that anyone could love Harry Potter and that it didn’t necessarily make them a nerd. Which was true...except I took it to the next level.

  “Well, I wrote some stupid fanfic stuff—mind you I was in middle school and Lucy actually helped me with some of it.”

  Gray smirked at me. “Dude, I’m not judging you. Finish the story.”

  “Well, fast-forward to sophomore year and Lucy suddenly had a one-track mind for gaining popularity. Before that, we were inseparable, but just friends. Best friends.”

  “Yeah…” He was clearly waiting for the bad part.

  “One day, I opened up Facebook, and there were screenshots of my writing all over our class’s group. She claimed someone got a hold of her phone and posted them, but it was too late. I couldn’t trust her anymore.”

  “Yeah that was totally a violation of privacy, but how bad could the fanfic really be?”

  I glared at him. “Bad. Like really bad. There was like a love triangle between Hermione and Fred and George, and Harry got involved with some dark magic—whatever, the point is that it was mortifying and private.

  Gray’s face stayed blank when he said, “Damn.”

  “Yeah. Damn is right,” I echoed. “And maybe someone else did post it, but she had those screenshots in the first place. Like she was already making fun of me. We hadn’t spoken since.”

  There was really so much more to that story that I didn’t have the heart to say out loud, not to Gray. Like how her stupid neanderthal of a boyfriend at the time used to call me Dumbledweeb in the boys locker room or how I couldn’t bear to even open another HP book since and threw all of my writing in the trash.

  It was the most devastating year of my life, and not just because high school became an unending hell, but because I suddenly had to face the misery of it all without my best friend.

  “Yeah, that is history,” Gray said, turning away like I just crushed his dreams of double dating and getting to spend more time with his girlfriend.

  And I was right. Retelling the story made it feel fresh again. I felt like crap just remembering that day and the way Lucy didn’t say a word to me, just looked at me in the hallway like she didn’t know me.

  Across the cafeteria, she stood from Trevor’s table in a rush and made a mad dash toward the exit. Whatever that creep said to her must have really upset her because she was gone in a flash. A minute ago, I would have been pissed at him, but suddenly, I didn’t really care anymore.

  Chapter Eight

  Lucy

  “Absolutely!” I squealed, then crammed my phone back in my pocket.

  “What was that all about?” asked Addy. She was standing over Max’s shoulder obnoxiously pointing out how many incorrect answers he had on his SAT practice test. I didn’t know Max all that well, but he seemed smart enough to me. Too smart to need Addy and Nora tutoring him.

  “The Owl Lady finally got my background check cleared. I can start volunteering ASAP.”

  “This is a good thing?” asked Nora, looking at me skeptically from the other side of the Altman’s den.

  “I need eighteen more hours of service. Key Club has like two other things planned before the D.C. trip. If I can’t get some hours in at the refuge, I’m going to be stuck keeping old people company at the senior center.”

  “Eek,” said Addy. “I have a very hard time picturing you interacting with the elderly.”

  “You and me both,” I remarked, remembering the last time I’d been forced to spend time with my grandma. I loved her and all, but the polyester people and I just didn’t see eye to eye. She thought I listened to terrible music, wore too much make-up, and used foul language. Nevermind that all I had done was let one little crap slide. “Sorry to bail, but the sooner I can get through the orientation the better.”

  “The Owl Lady has an orientation?” asked Nora, one eyebrow lifted.

  “Well,” I laughed. “Probably not, but Simon suggested he go with me to look around the place and make sure that everything is Key Club official.”

  “I see,” said Addy, her lips pursed tight. She had a terrible poker face.

  “I know you want to say something, so just say it,” I said, shooting a quick text to Simon that we could go now if he was available.

  “It just seems to me like Simon is awfully quick to offer to go places with you. First the creek clean up and now the refuge.”

  “Plus the movies!” reminded Nora.

  “We did not go to the movies together,” I replied, a little blush creeping into my cheeks.

  “Right,” said Addy, her voice thick with sarcasm. “I’m just warning you. You might get a little more than you bargained for with this forgiveness thing.”

  “What is that supposed to mean?”

  “Even I know what that means,” groaned Max. “Can you talk about who likes who later. I’m trying to prepare to get rejected to colleges over here.”

  Now I was legit blushing, and not just a little. “No one likes anyone.”

  “Do we know that though?” asked Nora. “I kinda use to think…”

  “You kinda used to think what?” I asked, starting to get annoyed with all the vague statements floating around the room.

  “You know, when we were kids, it was pretty obvious that Simon had a thing for you.”

  I could feel a lump forming in my throat. I never thought of him that way then. But if I was being honest with myself, what Nora said made a lot of sense. He’d always stood up for me, and there was that time at the holiday dance when a slow song came on, and he said we should dance together to avoid not getting asked by anyone else. I thought he was trying to save me the embarrassment of being left standing up against the
wall, but I remember how nervous he was while we swayed. How his hands trembled just a little on my waist. We laughed it off later, but maybe Nora was right. I hoped she wasn’t—because that would make what I did even worse.

  As if summoned by my thoughts, Simon hit the horn on his mom’s SUV.

  “I gotta go, guys,” I said, sprinting up the stairs and out to the vehicle before Nora or Addy could weigh in any more on whether or not Simon used to, or still did, have a thing for me.

  “Hey,” said Simon, as I buckled into the passenger side seat. “You ready to go figure out how you’ll be spending the next three Saturdays?”

  “Saturdays,” I groaned. “I forgot about that part.”

  Simon shrugged. “Think of it this way. You can spend an hour or two after school every day and barely meet the minimum twenty hours, or you can put in three good five-hour days and have it done and over with.”

  He made a good point. I wasn’t really looking forward to spending my weekends following orders from the Owl Lady, but there was no way I could give up every afternoon, and the idea of cutting it close made me nervous.

  Once we arrived at the Wildlife Refuge, Simon and I knocked on the module door. We could hear the Owl Lady coming before she opened the door, the thump of her walking stick signaling her approach.

  She pulled open the door, took one look at Simon, and scowled. “No boyfriends allowed. That wasn’t on the application, but I assume you are old enough to understand that,” she said, looking at me sternly.

  “He’s not my boyfriend,” I answered quickly, maybe too quickly if what Nora said was true. Great, now I was going to second guess everything I said around Simon. He was officially caught in that sticky place between friendzone and something more.

  “I’m the Key Club president,” interjected Simon, seemingly unfazed by the boyfriend comment. “I’m just accompanying Lucy today to make sure the site will count toward her club volunteer requirement.”