by Becky McGraw
“Oh, God—did she die?” Maddie croaked, her eyes filling as she wanted to die herself if that was the case.
“No, she’s alive and fine,” the man on her left replied, stroking her cheek. “Thanks to your brother.”
Her brother—Max—he said his name was. That meant the man on her left was her friend Hawk.
God, why couldn’t she remember these men who seemed to care so much about her? Enough to risk their lives to rescue her.
Max huffed a breath and squeezed her shoulder. “We all are, thanks to the team. The helo isn’t in great shape, though, so we need to find somewhere to land fast to keep it that way.”
“If we can make it to Belize, we can get repairs and refuel. I don’t think there’s any major damage, just a bullet hole in a hydraulic line. The other holes are cosmetic.” Hawk said with a shuddering sigh as he turned his gaze from her. “Thank goodness you thought to bring that woman with us to help with the baby.”
“Yeah, well I didn’t want to, but there was no way I’d get out and through the jungle with a crying baby. That decision gives us two babies to take care of now, because gun to her head or not, Maria wasn’t moving without the other kid.”
“You brought Maria with us?” Maddie asked, as fear sliced through her.
“Yeah, I had to,” Max replied, his eyes intent on hers.
“She is El Jefe’s daughter—that baby is his grandson.” And he would definitely not take their abduction sitting down. He or her husband Raul would kill them all, if they found them.
“Well, as soon as we’re safe, I will buy her a one-way ticket back to that hellhole, if she wants to go. For now, we need her,” Hawk growled.
“Why didn’t you just leave her in the jungle?” Maddie moaned, as sickness boiled in her gut and a wave of heat washed through her body. The wet, hot clothes that were stuck to her skin needed to come off.
“Because you are too sick to take care of your baby right now,” Max snarled, holding her steady when she sat up.
“I am not too sick,” Maddie argued holding out her arms as relief made her even weaker. She felt like death, but needed to see for herself that her daughter was truly okay, before she died. “Give me my baby now.”
Hawk squeezed around her and reappeared with Sarah in his arms. The look on his handsome face—adoration and awe—made her eyes fill for some reason. He swallowed hard before he gently eased her into Maddie’s arms.
“How old is she? Does she have a name?” he asked gruffly, sitting beside her to smooth his hand over the baby’s red fluff.
“Almost a month now, and her name is Sarah,” Maddie replied, gently rocking her, even though the movement caused her leg to ache so badly she wanted to gnaw it off.
“You named her after Mom?!?” Max shouted, and Maddie’s eyes flew to his.
“I did?” she asked, her stomach clenching because she had no idea. She just knew that had to be her name when she first saw her. “Is that a bad thing?” Maddie had no idea because she didn’t remember her mother or anything else.
“Well considering she selfishly killed herself when you were eight and I was eleven, but not without reason, I don’t know,” he replied, his voice choked.
From the angry, hurt look on her brother’s face, Maddie thought maybe she didn’t want to remember her life before the crash. Perhaps she was better off not knowing what it was like back then. But it was odd her subconscious chose that name for her daughter, even though she didn’t remember the woman who gave birth to her. Her mother must’ve meant a lot to her.
With a growl, Hawk suddenly pulled her onto his lap and hugged her and the baby to him. Max moved around them and disappeared into the front of the helicopter. Maddie laid her head on Hawk’s chest and his arms felt entirely too safe, his scent too comforting, as she closed her eyes and let sleep claim her.
If this man had been in her life before the accident, maybe remembering wouldn’t be so bad. But she had a feeling his description of being her friend wasn’t very accurate. The way he was acting toward her, the way she felt inside right now, said there was much more to their relationship than that.
Chapter 11
Two days later, Hawk’s insides finally unclenched when Dante landed the helo on the pad on the hospital rooftop. He had no idea if this would be their final destination or not, since Max and Maddie’s father lived in Mesa, and they were her next of kin. They hadn’t talked about it yet—they’d just gotten back on U.S. soil as fast as they could, because she needed medical treatment now. With every hour that passed, her condition deteriorated.
They’d gotten a doctor to look at her in Belize, but her situation was way out of his wheelhouse—that became readily apparent looking at his face when he examined her leg. Hawk had to look away too, because he knew it was bad with one quick glance. At least the antibiotics, pain medication and fluids he’d given her while the helo was being fixed, stabilized her condition and stopped the tremors until they could get her here.
Hawk quickly opened the door and was relieved to see medical personnel burst through the door pushing a gurney. Max came to the back and stood at Maddie’s feet.
“I’ll help you get her out of here and onto the gurney,” he said, his voice dire. Hawk nodded and took her right side—the side opposite her injured leg, because he didn’t want to hurt her. It wasn’t because he might pass out from sympathy pains if he saw it again. How she’d borne all the pain she must’ve gone through during her captivity and survived, he had no freaking idea.
“Where are we?” Maddie slurred, stiffening her body when they lifted her.
“The hospital, baby,” he said, trying to keep the fear from his voice. “We’re in Dallas, you’re safe and they’re going to fix you up.”
“Where’s Sarah?” she asked, squirming in their hold.
“We’re going to get her checked out, too. Don’t worry about her right now, worry about yourself. These people are going to take care of both of you,” he said, taking tiny steps in unison with Max to get her to the door of the aircraft.
Max climbed down first, then Hawk. The medical crew surrounded them and all four gasped when they saw Maddie.
“Get a surgeon and scrub team on standby,” the woman who was obviously a doctor directed as she pushed Maddie’s skirt up over her enormously swollen knee. She shook her head as she smoothed her fingers down to her ankle. “I want four pints of O-neg, x-ray and an orthopedist in treatment room seven stat. Get me a blood draw and sepsis protocol first priority,” she barked as she took over from Max and the other three helped to gently secure her on the gurney.
“Give me the baby and get them back to the compound. I’ll call y’all with an update in a little while,” Hawk said, and Levi appeared in the doorway to hand him Sarah. She snuggled into his chest and he put his finger in her tiny hand. When she wrapped her fingers around his, it felt like she’d done the same with his heart.
Levi slid the door shut, and Hawk walked with Max toward the door that had just closed behind the medical crew.
“This may not end well, bud,” Max said.
“I know,” Hawk replied, his eyes on fire as he stood back for Max to open the door. He walked inside feeling like he had when he stepped into that funeral parlor. The only thing different this time was the little piece of them in his arms that she’d leave behind if she died again.
Maddie Carter was in for the fight of her life, and he was going to make sure she gave it everything she had, because leg or no leg, they both needed her to win this war. Hawk walked to the nurse’s station in the E.R. with Max beside him.
“I need y’all to check out my daughter too, please,” he said, the word daughter tickling his throat and tongue. “Her mother is the one they just brought in.”
The nurse sitting behind the counter gasped and flew around the counter to take Sarah from him. She glanced back at the other nurse who sat at a desk doing paperwork. “Brenda, call up to NICU. Tell Dr. Clauson I’m on my way with a newborn for an emerg
ency exam.” She looked back at Hawk. “You can come with me and tell me her history.”
“I’ll check on Maddie and meet you in the waiting room,” Max said, peeling off to walk down the hallway toward an exam room where green-scrub-suited nurses flew in and out faster than Hawk could identify faces.
Hawk’s heart twisted because he wanted to go with Max but he knew he’d be useless inside that room. Right now, he needed to give this nurse as much information as he could about Sarah, which was next to nothing, and hope they would give her a clean bill of health. At least then, he’d be fifty-percent less hopeless than he felt right now.
After coming back downstairs and being turned away from Maddie’s exam room, Hawk stomped down the pristine hospital corridor, leaving a trail of mud from his boots behind as he went to the family waiting room. He plopped down in a yellow, hard plastic chair against the wall beside Max and crossed his arms over his chest.
“They said it would be a while before they had any news,” Max informed.
“Yeah, they told me that too,” Hawk growled. “They should’ve at least let one of us go in with her. If she wakes up, she’ll be scared.” When he woke up from this nightmare, he knew he would be too.
After he told the doctor upstairs about the drugs the baby was exposed to, he said they would probably be keeping her a couple of days for extensive tests. Hawk had to leave quickly when they declared her severely dehydrated and stuck a needle in her tiny body for the IV, because he almost passed out.
“They’re trying to stabilize Maddie and prep her for surgery. The doc said she’s very sick, and she may not be stable enough for that until later tonight.”
“Tonight?!?” Hawk roared, sitting forward in his chair and turning to glare at Max. “It’s just now noon—how can they wait that long if she’s that sick?”
“Chill out, dude,” Max said, putting his hand into Hawk’s chest to push him back. “If they take her to surgery before they get the fever under control, she’ll die.”
“She might die anyway if they don’t take care of that leg quickly,” Hawk said, his heart sliding down to his feet as he sat back in the chair.
“I called my father and told him. He was surprised, to say the least, and is notifying the Army. I haven’t told him yet that I’m leaving the military, so if he happens to show up here, don’t mention it. One shock at a time, because I know that convo isn’t going to be pretty.”
Lord, please don’t let him show up, because in the mood I’m in, Max’s military separation will be child’s play compared to what I have to say to the man. That Maddie was in this situation was his fucking fault.
“Um, what about the baby?” Max asked after a few minutes of silence between them.
“They’re keeping her a few days for testing and observation,” Hawk replied.
“If something happens to Maddie, what will you do?” he asked. “She’s yours, right?”
“Yes, she’s mine, unless your sister had another boyfriend I didn’t know about.” Hawk heaved a breath as that thought caused even more tension in his body. “If something happens to Maddie, I will be the best father I can be to Sarah, just the same as I would if she were alive.” And now that the seed of doubt had been planted, Hawk qualified that in his mind with—if the baby had his DNA.
Did Maddie have another boyfriend? Was her brother trying to tell him something?
The timing was right for the baby to be his, but he didn’t know for sure—couldn’t know without a DNA test, because Maddie didn’t even remember him.
They never formally said they were exclusive, but it was implied, even after he’d left the military. She said she loved him, but that didn’t mean she didn’t love someone else, too. If she wanted to date someone else, the fact he only saw her five or six times a year would have left plenty of opportunity. They’d broken up right before she left for Kentucky, so she could also have met someone else there during her three months of training.
If Sarah wasn’t his, Hawk had no idea what he’d do.
Max certainly wasn’t father material, and neither was the General. He would keep and raise that baby regardless, if her grandfather was the only option for a guardian. That man should never have been allowed to have children.
But then Maddie wouldn’t be around, and she probably wouldn’t be the strong woman he loved if she hadn’t been raised by that man. What didn’t kill her definitely made her stronger, but that didn’t mean he’d allow Sarah to gain her strength by being mentally abused.
With a groan, Hawk leaned his elbows on his knees and shoved his hands into his hair to squeeze his skull and stop the madness inside. He had no idea how long he sat there like that, but woke up fast when his body pitched forward and Max grabbed his arm to keep him in the chair.
“Look man, you’re exhausted. Go lay down on that sofa over there and I’ll wake you up when the doctor comes.”
God, he was so thankful Max was here with him. That the man could stay so calm and think so clearly during all this—like he’d done in Guatemala—told Hawk why he had so many medals on his uniform. The guy had ice water running through his veins.
Chapter 12
Hawk had just dozed off when a female voice woke him. He opened his eyes and flew up to sit as the doctor walked into the waiting room. She grabbed a chair as she walked over to them.
“Are you her next of kin?” she asked, her face serious as she sat down.
“I’m her brother, so yes,” Max replied.
“Good, because you have a tough decision to make and not much time to make it,” she said, huffing a breath. “We’ve got your sister on a vent and her vitals stable. We’re pushing IV antibiotics to deal with her infection and fluids for the severe dehydration. Her fever is coming down, but the only thing that will help her is surgery. Her lower left leg is gangrenous.”
Hawk gagged and wrapped his arms around his stomach when it cramped. Max groaned as he shoved a hand through his hair.
“There’s no way to save it?” he asked, his voice raw. “Stronger antibiotics? Waiting a few days to see if they help? Can you wake her up to ask her what she wants to do?”
“Not if you want to save her, I’m sorry. Ideally that would be desirable, and our normal protocol, but this is a very dire situation. Even if we removed the vent and asked her, I don’t know if she would be coherent enough to understand and give us an answer. The infection is all over her body—even her brain.”
“No offense, doc,” Max said, and Hawk’s eyes flew to him. “I have a buddy who is an orthopedic surgeon at the Veteran’s Hospital in San Antonio. I want to call him in for a second opinion. I can’t make this decision for her without it.”
“None taken, but if he doesn’t get here quickly, there might not be a decision to be made,” the doctor replied.
“Understood,” Max said, quickly standing to walk off as he pulled out his cell phone.
Hawk was even more glad that Max was with him right now, because if it were him who had to make this decision, he wasn’t sure he could. Amputation was a life and mind-altering thing. He had Army buddies who came back home and watched the hell they went through. But Maddie wouldn’t have a life if her brother didn’t make that decision, if this doctor was right.
“I’d be interested to know how she came by these injuries and why they were allowed to get so critical,” the doctor said, and Hawk’s eyes flew to hers.
The suspicion in her tone raised the hair on the back of his neck along with his anger. What in the hell was she thinking? That they’d neglected her? Or done this to her?
“According to the Army, Captain Maddie Carter died in a helicopter crash in El Salvador six months ago,” he informed, swallowing the knot of guilt that lodged in his throat. Maybe this was partly his fault for waiting so long to go looking for her. “Her brother and I went to El Salvador looking for her body. We found what was left of it at a drug cartel stronghold in the jungle two days ago. She was being held captive to fly drugs for them.”
/> “She was still flying a helicopter? With her leg like that?!?” the doctor screeched, then cleared her throat.
“Yes, she was. And she had a baby in captivity. Sarah, my daughter, who is upstairs in the NICU being treated.”
“Good, Lord—this story is too horrific to believe. She is a lucky woman to be alive. And it sounds like the baby is lucky too. I can’t imagine the pain she endured,” she said, her voice not entirely steady.
“Maddie Carter is a tough woman—and a fighter. That’s why I couldn’t accept her death until I found her body,” Hawk replied, his stomach cramping again. “But I have to tell you, her captors gave her drugs. They needed her to fly for them, so they patched her up and drugged her enough to do that.”
“That she was using the ankle so much, explains the old fractures and new ones. The x-rays were a mess. The ankle wasn’t treated properly after it was crushed so it didn’t heal. The pressure from flying the helicopter, probably caused the new fractures and the infection. Even if the leg could be saved, she wouldn’t have much use and the pain would be with her forever.”
“I’m glad I’m not the one making this decision and feel bad that Max has to do it. Maddie was always so active, a runner, so she’s not going to be happy.”
“There are new prostheses options that will allow her to continue running. She couldn’t have done that considering the condition of the limb.”
Hawk huffed a breath and forced himself to accept that amputation was the best option for her. “I guess things happen for a reason, but I’m at a loss to figure out what could possibly be the reason she’s going through this. The reason we’re all going through it.”
“I assume you’re her husband? Boyfriend?” she asked, and Hawk nodded, because he didn’t have an explanation of exactly what their relationship was now.
