by Nadine Mutas
She turned the ringer on her cell up loud enough that she wouldn’t miss it if Merle or Alek called her, and then proceeded to snoop around the house. Nothing unethical like peeking into drawers, but whatever was openly on display was fair game.
Turned out Alek was a Star Wars fan, and either he had some brownies living here with a creative streak, or Alek actually enjoyed folding origami of Star Wars characters and props. One whole board in the living room shelf was lined with little Yodas, the Millennium Falcon, a bantha, R2D2, and many more items and figures from the movies.
Her cell phone rang, and she jumped about two feet. Pulse racing, she looked at the caller ID. Baz. A flush of adrenaline tingled along her nerves. Thumb hovering over the “accept call” button, she faltered. No, I can’t do this. Not yet. She swiped the call away so it would go to voice mail.
And her heart broke just a little at the silence that followed, shame heating her face. Throat suddenly thick and raw, she took a hitching breath, chucked the phone on the couch, and turned away.
With her heartbeat still thundering in her ears, she continued her exploration of the living room. She paused in front of a couple of framed photos of grinning kids. Two boys, about ten and five, and a little girl who couldn’t be more than a year old. Alek had mentioned he had a brother with kids, so these had to be his niece and nephews. She could definitely see some of Alek in the boys, which made sense if their dad was Alek’s identical twin.
A strange feeling twisted her chest. Almost like…longing. Which was ridiculous. She’d never been keen on having children. She accepted the fact she’d one day have to have at least one little critter, seeing as she’d become head of the Murray family and responsible for carrying on the line. But that could be done without a husband. Single mothers were much more common these days, and for that, she was truly grateful. No way was she going to get stuck in a marriage.
Or a mating.
An image of her mom rose from a dark corner of her mind. Her nowadays radiant face shadowed, her brown eyes tinged with sadness that latched onto Lily, sank into her bones while she watched her mom cringe at the venom in her dad’s words. Words that should have made any self-respecting witch bristle and fight, and yet…Hazel said nothing, did nothing, just…endured.
A ding from her phone jerked Lily back into the present. And there went her heart again, stumbling in her chest. Dammit. She grabbed her cell and checked it. The message was from Merle. Phew.
So, what’s the deal with that demon you’re hanging with?
She typed back, Did you find the dart??
She only had to wait a few seconds for Merle’s reply.
Oh, yeah, that. Found it. Working my mojo on it. So, while that is bubbling, tell me all about that duhokrad who couldn’t take his eyes off you. He looked positively smitten.
Lily couldn’t help grinning, and not only because of Merle’s understated way of revealing they were one step closer to solving whatever happened to Lily.
Alek, she texted. His name’s Alek. She sobered, the grin slipping off her face. And he’s not just smitten, he wants the real deal. As in, mating for life. A prospect that kicked her whole system into flight mode.
Merle’s response was a single, most eloquent, Thewhawhaaaa?
My reaction exactly, Lily typed back. I told him no, but…
She was pondering how best to describe the quagmire she was in with Alek when her cell rang again. Barely escaping another heart attack, she clutched her chest and calmed her breathing. It was Baz. She should really talk to him. But— Stomach sinking, she mentally hopped on her nope-octopus and noped away from that scenario. She let the call go to voice mail, again. And her heart broke, again. I’m sorry, Baz.
Her phone dinged with a message from Merle.
DID HE HURT YOU?? I SWEAR TO THE GODS I WILL SEND HIS ASS INTO THE SHADOWS.
Even though it was ridiculous, and she knew it, Lily actually held the phone away from her to mute the screaming-via-text. She’d apparently taken too long to finish her text and Merle had gotten the wrong impression.
Whoa, hakuna your tatas, girl, Lily replied. He didn’t. He’s an okay guy. You know, for a demon.
Then what’s the but for?
Lily sighed. I told him I don’t wanna mate, but he’s still interested in “having fun.”
And you’re not?
Yes, I am. I mean, have you seen him?
As a prim and properly mated/married female, I feel obliged to withhold any comment on that.
Lily snickered. Right. Anyway, I’d love to jump his bones, and he said he’s okay with no-strings sex, but knowing he does want those strings makes me feel like I’m leading him on if I have sex with him.
Have you talked to him about that?
Yes. He still wants to boink.
Lil. We had a discussion about using that word.
It’s totally legit. Merriam-Webster has it.
Moving on. So, are you his mom?
What? Ew. No. Why the fuck would you ask that?
Because you’re not responsible for his happiness, and it’s not your job to protect his feelings. He’s a big boy. He can watch out for himself. If you want to have fun with him and he wants to have fun with you, and he’s okay with your boundaries, then go for it.
Huh. If you put it that way…
Just want to make sure my BFF gets some.
Saucy wench.
Merle sent her a grinning emoticon. All right, gotta go examine that dart some more. You take care, okay?
Always.
No sooner than she’d sent off the text did her phone ding again. She checked it, expecting another message from Merle, and stopped short. She didn’t recognize the number.
Has Grant peed on you yet? the text read.
Realizing it was Alek, she grinned and typed back, Shouldn’t you be watching my house?
I am. I’ve successfully trained myself to multitask, you know.
She chuckled. Impressive. So, I’m guessing nothing much is going on right now?
Nope. Your mom is in the library, and Maeve is upstairs in her room. All quiet except…
???
Well, your brother is pacing the kitchen staring and cursing at his phone.
Her stomach dropped through the floor. She hesitated a moment then texted, He’s been calling me.
Ah. Not ready to talk to him yet?
The sigh that escaped her chest felt like the weight of the world. I can’t. What am I supposed to tell him?
How about sorry?
Like that’s so easy.
It is. You’re the one who’s making it complicated.
She stared at her phone, fizzing with annoyance. Before she could send off any of the sharp retorts tingling at her fingertips, Alek texted another message.
Merle mentioned he’s worried about you. She didn’t say anything about him being mad or holding a grudge.
Alek was typing some more, so Lily stopped her own texting and waited.
He’s been trying to talk to you, and going by what I’ve seen and heard so far, it’s not to yell at you. Lily, you’re stalling not because he’s hasn’t forgiven you. It’s because you haven’t.
That gave her pause. Could Alek be right?
You need to talk to him. Not just for his sake, but for your own, too. It’ll help you make peace with yourself.
She sat there on the couch, staring unseeing across the room. Damn, that demon had her pegged. Maybe she did need to forgive herself. Still easier said than done, but she could at least try.
Her phone dinged with another message from Alek. You still with me?
She shook herself and typed back. How come you’re so good at this shit? Do you have a psych degree?
Nope, just some experience with messing up and owning it.
She bit her lip. Thank you.
You’re welcome. Now please call that poor guy. His pacing is stressing me out.
Grinning, she texted, You’re such a delicate flower.
Watc
h it, tsvetochek.
So that was how that word was spelled.
Taking a deep breath, she opened her list of recent calls, and tapped Baz’s name before she could think twice. It dialed and rang once. Then he picked up.
“Lil?” His voice sounded strained.
A lump lodged in her throat, closing off her air supply and all ability to speak. She swallowed, trying to get something—anything—past that lump. Her heart raced so fast that little spots of light danced in her vision.
“If you start making Darth Vader sounds,” Baz said, his voice shaking despite his nonchalant tone, “I’ll still know it’s you. Beauty of having caller ID.”
A laugh bubbled up, slipped past the lump in her throat and broke through the grip of fear around her heart. She sucked in a huge lungful of air and leaned back against the couch. Her hand trembled while she held the phone to her ear.
“If I were to prank-call you,” she said, eyes filling with tears, “I’d scratch two knives together right next to the phone.” Baz hated the sound of metal on metal so much, he had a physical reaction every time he heard it.
“Now that’s more like it.” He paused, his voice quieting. “You scared me there, Lil.”
Annnnd the lump was back. “I’m sorry, Baz.” She rushed the words out before she lost the ability to speak again.
He made an impatient sound. “I don’t mean you attacking me.”
“But—”
“If you’re hung up on that, you need to let that crap go. I don’t hold it against you, so don’t even.”
She swallowed hard, the knot in her chest easing a bit.
“I was scared for you.”
How was Baz always better at admitting his feelings than she was? Shouldn’t it be the other way around, him being a guy and all? But truth was, Basil had been more open with emotional stuff since they were kids.
She took a deep breath, released it with closed eyes. “I’m scared, too.” There, she’d said it.
“Are you okay now? Like, how does it feel to be…”
“A demon?” She grimaced. “I miss my magic. It’s always been there, but now it’s just—gone. And…there’s this darkness.” Looking down, she fumbled with a thread of fabric on the couch. “Like, every violent impulse I’ve ever had, magnified and more powerful. In the literal sense, there’s power behind it. I’ve only just scratched the surface of what I can do, and I know I could tap even more of it.” She tugged at the thread then let it go. “But I’m afraid to.”
“Merle said there’s a life leech helping you?”
“Duhokrad,” she corrected, and went on to tell him about Alek, finishing with, “He’s kind of the reason you’re still alive. If he hadn’t thrown that stone at our back porch…”
“So I should hold off on the brotherly intimidation I have planned?”
The pressure on her chest eased at Baz’s casual way of distracting her. “I’m not sure he’d be intimidated, but I appreciate the thought.” She pursed her lips. “How are things with Nina?”
She could swear she heard a growl. Her brother never growled. “If I could break up with her twice, I would.” After a pause, he added, “I’m sorry the Elders found out.”
“Not your fault she blabbed to her mom.”
“I shouldn’t have told her.”
“You really need to let that crap go,” she said with a grin, giving back his own excellent advice.
Baz laughed, and she hadn’t known how much she’d needed to hear that sound until now. “Keep in touch, sis.”
“I will.” And she meant it.
Chapter 12
The sky was already brightening with the advent of dawn when Alek came back. And if she hadn’t already known she was in trouble with him, the way her every female instinct sat up at attention at the sight of him, the prickling of delight running through her veins when he smiled at her sure did the job. Something restless inside her settled as soon as his energy brushed hers.
He walked Grant around the block in record time to avoid the first light of day, then whipped up a delicious omelet, and sat down at the table with Lily.
“Have you slept at all?” he asked while she cleaned her plate.
“Nope. Was too wired.” Although now the lurking exhaustion caught up with her, and she stifled a yawn.
He nodded, his silver-gold eyes trained on her. “I think it’s best if we catch some sleep during the day and then start the search for the duhokrad as soon as the sun sets. I couldn’t get out of working tomorrow night, but that’s not until midnight. We’ll have a couple of hours to look for him, and I’ll be off watch duty the following two nights. That should give us plenty of time to find the fucker.”
She was too tired to argue about going out to track down the demon sooner, so she just shrugged. “All right.”
He put the dishes away. “Before we call it a night, there’s something I’d like to try. Remember how I told you your razvitiye chronicles major life events? It might hold a clue about how you were turned into a demon, maybe even tell us exactly what happened. I could check it for you.”
She pursed her lips. “You just want to ogle my goodies, don’t you? You wily duho-crook.”
He choked on a laugh. “Well,” he replied, molten heat in his eyes, “I’d never pass up a chance to check you out naked, but—whether you believe it or not—that’s not why I asked. I really do think your razvitiye may hold some clues. And, since the marking grows from your heart outward, with the newer signs on the fringes, it’s likely that the symbols about your turning will be on your arms, stomach, or lower back.” The wicked grin he shot her caused a happy tingle in her belly. “Very likely not on your breasts.” His gaze lingered on said area and his voice dropped to a level that would be dangerous to the self-control of females everywhere. “Beautiful and tempting though they may be.”
She cleared her throat, trying not to show her disappointment that he wouldn’t have to look at her girls. “Um, these signs. When you read them, they tell you things about me. Important things. Like a psychological profile, right?”
His eyes shot up to meet hers, embers of red glimmering in the silver-gold. “Yeah.”
“So getting naked is a big deal for a duho-crab. You’ll know all that stuff about each other.” A flicker of anxiety whispered through her. “If you know how to read the signs, that is.”
And she couldn’t. Even if they got to the point where she saw him without his clothes on, she wouldn’t be able to tell what his signs meant. He could read her symbols, her life chronicled before him, the code to who she was, but she wouldn’t be able to claim the same insight into his character and life.
He studied her with too-perceptive eyes, the gold ring seeming to glow around the silver. “Tell you what, we’ll do a trade. I show you mine, and you’ll show me yours.” And before she could reply, he reached up, grabbed the collar of his shirt, and yanked it over his head and off.
The synapses in her brain short-circuited. Her thoughts ground to a halt.
All…those…muscles. Good gawds. Her eyes couldn’t decide which delicious part of him to drink in first, there was just so much yumminess going on in front of her. His demon tattoo sprawled over ridges and bunches of muscles, from his well-defined pecs—strong enough for her fingers to get a good grip while digging in—over his broad shoulders, with trapezius muscles worthy of fawning over, to his bulging deltoids and biceps. And his abs… Scratch six-pack. He boasted an impossible eight-pack. And damn, did she want to lick, trace those demon markings adorning his skin, all the way down to the waistband of his jeans…lower.
Bursts of heat sparked all over her skin, flamed out and to the center, settling with a throbbing need between her thighs. Her fingers tingled, claws slicing out, wanting to mark him.
He stilled and inhaled deeply, closing his eyes when he breathed out again. A tremor went through his aura, and when he opened his eyes, hints of red and black were just vanishing, leaving the normal, controlled silver-gold. Still,
a note of lust remained, mirrored in his aura, and it almost did her in.
“This symbol here,” he said, his voice on the good side of rough, his finger tapping a sign on those magnificent abs of his, “depicts the first time I killed to take duh.”
Something in his voice made her look up. “How old were you?”
“Seventeen.”
“Damn.” A pained whisper.
“I hated it. I threw up right after, losing all the energy I’d just taken, but that wasn’t the worst part. My father was there. He’d taken me to make my first kill, and he laughed at me when I lost it.”
The sharp bite of hurt spiking through her chest mingled with white-hot anger. She bit off a curse, wanted to say something else, but Alek was already moving on to the next sign.
“This is the sign for my twin, Dimitri. Or Dima, as we call him.” He tapped a symbol close to his heart. “And these here are for my other brothers, Kolya and Yuri.” He indicated two other signs, distributed across his chest.
“You’ve got three brothers?”
“Yeah. Nikolai—Kolya for short—is the middle kid, and Yuri is the youngest. He moved out a couple of months ago.” Before she could ask more questions, he pointed at another symbol. “This states that family is the most important thing in my life.”
The fingers of his left hand found an elaborate sign on his right arm, circled it with care. “The symbol for my parents’ death.”
She held her breath, released it on a sound of sympathy. “I’m sorry.”
He nodded, still looking at the sign. “These symbols tell how they died when I was eighteen.”
Shock vibrated through her. So young. “How…” She shook her head. “Sorry. I shouldn’t pry.”
“Arawn killed them.” He kept looking at the symbols, a muscle flexing in his jaw. “Well, he killed my father, and since duhokrad mates are tied to each other in life and death, my mom died as well.”
She stepped back and gasped, rendered speechless by the implication of what he was saying.
“If you’re wondering how I ended up in his service after that,” he said quietly, his aura a violent storm, “this part of my razvitiye tells you.” He tapped the elegant, flowing lines, their beauty in such stark contrast to what they stood for. “Arawn came to me after my parents died and offered to provide for me and my brothers. Apparently, he hadn’t intended to kill my mom as well. Said he was unaware that her life was bound to my father’s. Hell knows whether he felt the need to make amends or whatever, but he offered to pay for our livelihood until we came of age.” His nostrils flared as he clenched his jaw and breathed out through his nose. “I threw his fucking charity offer back in his face and spit on it.”
