Darren freezes, shaking his silver head as if to deny the ugly truth. “That’s not what I meant.”
Helen runs upstairs, unable to take the nasty veracity of their world. This truth was the only thing none of them could fathom or accept. My chest compresses with disappointment until it becomes too hard to breathe. I can’t stay here anymore and watch disbelief play on their faces, but I fight my revulsion to make them understand.
“She’s the light in my life. One good thing that happened to me in a very long time. Don’t stand in my way because I will fight for her. And you won’t like it how I’ll do it.” Stepping over the broken shards and wreckage, I leave the house.
Outside, I find Lucas leaning against my car with his hands crossed over his chest and his chin set in stubborn lines. I join him, and we both watch the moon in a clear sky like a beacon of light between the shining stars.
“If you love her,” I grouse into the pregnant silence, “let her be happy. Your parents will tear her apart. She deserves to be cherished. I could make her happy, Lucas.”
She’s my beacon of light, and all I crave is to bask in her glow.
Lost in his own thoughts, he exhales a heavy breath but doesn’t answer me. After a few more minutes, I open my door and get in the car, and he joins me.
“She does,” he finally states, and we ride in silence for the rest of the trip.
14
Veiled Secrets
~Cassandra~
Leaving my driver behind, I march into the building to escape my life. Dammit, I need a vacation from all the drama at home. Once I step into the elevator, I exhale a relieved breath. A conversation about my driver and security detail didn’t go well with senior Cade. No, he was overbearing and determined as always to make my life harder. How the hell did I get myself into this mess? My chest vibrates, all emotions swirling like a storm about to wreck me.
I know how. I remember why. It doesn’t make it less painful or easier to accept.
I curse when I notice my bloodshot eyes in the mirror. I dive into my bag, needing to hide the evidence of my anguish from my colleagues and Mark. He hates the way they monitor me or try to control my every move. I don’t want him to get tangled in this mess.
After all I went through, I thought at least Leif and Lucas would be on my side. But no, they both disapprove of my choice to date Mark Lawson.
I grab sunglasses to hide my eyes, adjust my hair and fix my lipstick before I step out of the elevator when it arrives at my floor. Waving to Denise, I slip into my office without anyone stopping me. Once I close the door behind me, I rip the sunglasses off my face and freeze in place.
“Mark.” I gasp his name, surprised to find him here. “What are you doing here?” I rasp. My voice feels raw, as is my soul.
He stands from the chair and strolls toward me. His piercing gaze locks on me, and I’m tempted to step back to make more space between us, so I can think.
“What happened?” He catches my arms, bringing me into his masculine chest. I soak up the heat and strength from him as if my body is starved for it. I blink away my tears before they have the chance to resurface. “Cassandra, tell me, what’s going on?”
He pulls me toward the chair and pushes me down, grabbing my bag and my coat from my hands. Once seated, he brings me a bottle of water from his office and fills up the glass on my desk. I gulp down the contents, needing to wash away my frustration. My throat relaxes as soothing liquid slides down my parched throat.
“I feel like a prisoner in my own home. I asked Darren to remove the security detail, and he refused, giving me no viable explanation whatsoever. Mark, I don’t understand why they’re doing this to me.”
Mark grasps my cold hands, bringing heat into my frozen fingertips. “I could appoint my own driver to stay with you . . .”
I shake my head and jump to my feet as the walls start to enclose around me. “What’s the point then? To exchange one cage for another? I simply want to live my life and be left alone. Nothing they do makes sense to me.” I look through the window at the clouds heavily hanging above us as if they’re about to burst open. I turn to ask something that has been bothering me for some time. “Why do I have a feeling you know the Cades much better than you’re letting on?”
He stiffens and his eyes glaze over, shoving the wall of ice in front of me. “They are one of the most influential families in the world. Of course I do.”
His raspy tone, inviting no further questions, grates on me as if some foreign instinct blares to life. Mark’s lying to me. My eyebrows furrow as I try to unlock Mark’s secrets, afraid to trust him with myself when he hides so much from me.
Who are you, Mark?
The lithe way he moved when he fought Lucas makes me believe he has training in martial arts and is disciplined enough to weigh his power before inflicting some damage. Regardless of my feelings, I can’t allow such violence near my kids. What if he can’t control his aggression?
Something in my gaze must have shown because he steps forward as if to fix what’s breaking. But I step back, raising my hand to stop him from following me. I need space to gather my thoughts and weigh my options. Perhaps Leif and Lucas were right. I should be careful who I invite into my life. Why should I trust the man who relies on no one?
“Cassandra, let me explain . . .” He doesn’t step closer, and I exhale a relieved breath. His presence is capable of erasing my reason. It’s like my entire being recognizes his, as if he knows every step I’ll make before I do.
“I need space.” He wants to protest, but then he shoves his hands into his suit pants and lets me talk. “We’re moving too fast. I need to think. There’s too much at stake, Mark. My job, my name, my family, my children, my own sanity.” I exhale, feeling overwhelmed. “I can’t—.” My throat aches as the fear of loss grips me.
“What are you saying?” Wariness enters his handsome features as I fight my demons trying to find their way back into my life.
“Perhaps we should slow down. We don’t know each other that well. You don’t trust me with your past, but I feel like you know mine. It’s not fair you hide things from me, and I don’t know how to feel about it.” My chest aches as I watch his face fall at my admission.
“Is this about the fight? Are you afraid of me?”
I open my mouth to deny it, but I stop myself. Mark nods in understanding and then unbuttons his jacket, dropping into the chair opposite my desk. He rests his elbows on his knees, raking his perfectly styled hair as he deliberates something.
“All right,” he finally speaks, “I can give you more time and space to think this through. I was summoned to Switzerland to meet a few business partners, so I won’t be back for a week.” He fastens his penetrating gaze on me, and I suck in a bolstering breath. “But after that, I’ll fight dirty, Lovebird. I hope you’re ready, because every time you run”—he rises from his chair to his full height, and my spine snaps straight as he saunters toward me—“I’ll play with the passionate woman you are.” He strokes my cheek and grazes my bottom lip. “You can’t deny me when I’m with you,” he whispers into my ear, igniting sparks to sizzle, and my breaths come in short gasps as I remember him tasting me on this desk.
I swallow my desire and twist my head until our lips meet almost in a kiss.
“But will you share your past with me? Because I want to know the man and his scars, Mark. You asked me not to hide mine, but you hide yours from me. You can’t have me without giving yourself to me.” I step back, shivering as cold permeates my bones when I lose his warmth.
“My past should stay in the past.” He grinds his words, his jaw set into a stubborn line.
“Without the past, we’re nothing, just perfect lines of deceit. You can’t expect I’ll be content with a façade of a man,” I tell him, fully aware that a few years ago, I was fighting this truth myself and failing. Logan was the one who was trying to unlock my secrets and fill me up with his love. And here I am, fighting with the reflection of my past self
.
“I could give you everything you desire.” He watches me with intensity like he wants to erase the history, rewrite his past. “Just not the dark, not the ugly. Isn’t this enough?”
“If I’ll give you the same, but not my story, not my tears, not my fears or even my heart, will you be happy?” I hold my breath as he steps toward me, seizing me by the waist.
“No. I want it all,” Mark whispers, determined, pressing his lips to my temple and then he turns and leaves me, standing in my office with all the unanswered questions tattering my sanity.
I inhale oxygen into my lungs, relieved he wants more than my body, more than the scars embedded in the surface of my skin. I understand how hard it is to divulge the extent of the damage the world inflicted on us.
15
Violent Shadows
~Mark~
It has been a week since I saw Cassandra at her office, asking me to give her time and space to think about us. I’ve felt on edge ever since I left for Switzerland for work. We spoke on the phone every other day, emailed about business matters only. Cassandra refused to discuss our relationship at that time we were apart. I can feel the distance growing.
As soon as I land, I dial her number and wait for her to pick it up. After a few more signals, I hear her voice filter through the speakers. It burrows into me with a stipulating need to hold her, breathe her scent, and drink her moans from those luscious lips, like I did before.
"Hello, Mark." I shut my eyes, as my chest aches with how much I missed her.
It’s crazy how fast she became a central piece of my life. Every waking thought. Every dream. My feelings for her are only getting stronger the more time we spend together.
"Good evening, Cassandra." I smile, hoping she’ll allow me to see her.
Does she need me the same way I need her? Does she think about me when I’m not there?
"Mark." She audibly exhales and my chest compresses with tension, sensing she wants to run.
"I just landed. Let's meet and talk. I could come to pick you up?" I stop, unsure if she wants me near her home after the fight with Lucas. I need to fix this situation, or I’ll lose her. "Cassandra?" I wait for her answer, but the sickening pause keeps me in suspense, and I dread her refusal. "Please, let me explain. Don't give up on me yet, Bird."
“I just came back from work. I’m at home now. How soon can you get here?”
“Give me an hour.” I hold my breath, afraid I’ve ruined everything. “Cassandra.” I pause, listening to her uneven breaths. “I lived in the nightmare of abuse and violence. I know your fears and why you want to push me away. Give me a chance to prove you’re wrong.”
She clears her throat, but her voice still sounds solemn and gritty.
“I’ll be ready in an hour, Mark. We need to talk alone. Perhaps your condo?”
My pulse spikes with awareness, pumping the blood faster at hearing her reserved tone. I can feel the distance like a chasm thrust between us.
“All right, I’ll come to pick you up.”
She hangs up the phone before I have a chance to say I missed her. Is she punishing me? Not even goodbye or see you soon at the end. Damn it! I screwed up, but I won’t let her slip through my fingers this easy. I can’t.
I want to snatch her from that damn house and claim her before they have a chance to end us. Feeling helpless, I hit the steering wheel, ready to tear my car apart, and I miss a turn. Shit!
By the time I pull into the driveway, I dispel the dark thoughts about the Cades and their secret motives. As I park, I spot Lucas’ car parked by the entrance next to a few other vehicles. Annoyed he’s here, I kill the engine and go to get my girl.
Before I reach the entrance, Cassandra opens it and strides past me like her hair’s on fire and she’s ready to singe anyone in her way. My mouth falls open as she passes me. My gaze flicks back to Lucas, leaning against the frame with crossed arms over his broad chest. He gives me one of his infamous scowls, but when his wolf eyes flick back to Cassandra, I see he’s worried about her.
Did they have a fight?
He straightens when I come to greet him. My hand extends and to my surprise, he grasps my palm to shake it, squeezing with more force than needed.
“I see you’re in the mood to be a dick.” My lips tug at the corners.
“You’re wrong, Mark, it’s you who’s a dickhead, going after Logan’s woman. He was your brother.” Finally, those wolfish eyes lock on me, accusing me of the things he wants from Cassandra too. I come closer until we stand nose to nose and he has to straighten up to match me.
“He’s dead. I’m alive, Lucas. I have no obligations to this family not to chase her. I won’t miss my chance to be with the woman I care this much about. For some reason, you all have this strange notion I should be embarrassed. But I am not. You’re the ones who paint our relationship as taboo, but it’s not, and you know it.”
“Mark! Lucas! Do not dare to launch another fight at my house entrance. Do you hear me?” Her sharp warning from afar pulls at me. I step away from the marine, letting my muscles relax, and tension leaves my frame.
“What happened to you, Mark, what happened to our family? This isn’t how we’re supposed to be.”
I snort. We weren’t that close. And they’ve never treated me as one of them.
“Your family is a bunch of liars. You pretend to be what you aren’t.” I rub my chin, trying to read him if he’s this clueless or just pretends to be. “I know the truth, I know who you are, but Cassandra doesn’t. You can play this good brother-in-law card for now. But soon, Lucas, the smoke screens will vanish, and you’ll have to face the music.”
He looks away, hiding his dark gaze from me. “Not all of us chose this life, you know?” he utters. “Not everything is as it seems,” he adds.
He knows something, and he hates it. I just wonder what he means.
We lock our gazes, and solemn understanding passes between us. “For what it’s worth, I think you’re a good man.” And as I say that something clicks with me.
Lucas and Leif moved to England, hoping Logan had changed. Cassandra was an anchor, pulling him from the family politics, dark affairs, and reuniting those three at the heart of this house. And now, Cassandra’s going to be dragged into the center of the shitstorm if I don’t stop them.
“You can’t ever tell her the truth,” he whispers, and I nod in agreement. It’s too dangerous to make her aware of what kind of people surround this family. But there are other secrets they kept from her, and those won’t stay buried forever.
Leaving Lucas on the porch, I turn to Cassandra, who wears a summer dress that makes her eyes pop like two diamonds. Her hair shines in the sunlight like blazing fire. When the door shuts behind me, I stroll toward her like I’m possessed.
I catch her small waist and pull her toward the car, caging her in.
“Hey.” I breathe into her parted mouth.
“Hi,” she gasps.
My hungry lips roam down her neck, inhaling her sweet scent before claiming her lips.
I have never met a woman who can make me come undone this easy, drive me nuts and soothe my darkness. But she does. I could get lost in her softness and jaded skin for days.
“Let’s go, Mark, or we’ll get in trouble with the neighbors.”
She is such a contradiction. But it only makes my blood boil hotter with the feral need to subdue her, show her what it’s like to be mine. Freedom can be found in captivity too. It’s a game meant for two people to explore. And I’m determined to show her this world.
~Cassandra~
My skin buzzes, electrified from his nearness, and my belly flutters with butterflies. It’s been too long since I’ve breathed in the same air as Mark. There are a few issues we need to tackle, but I’m sure we can work it out. I know he’s a very disciplined and sensible man. Violence doesn’t fit with the controlled character he usually portrays at work. What happened a week ago must be a slip in his judgment.
I study him
, his chiseled physique that hints at his healthy lifestyle, his silent control that makes me feel safe, cocooned. And I wonder why he is the way he is?
“You need to trim it. I can’t see your stubborn jaw and those sinful lips.” He let his scruff grow more than he usually does. And it looks unkempt.
He chuckles at my remark, and his eyes flash at me.
“I’ll keep it in mind.” His rich voice rattles deep in his throat and warmth spreads deep inside the pit of my stomach.
“How was Switzerland?” I ask while he helps me into my seat and then goes around to join me.
He starts the car, and we leave my residence. Only then he answers me.
“We were swamped with work, so I didn’t see a lot of it. I wish next time I could take you there, show you around, enjoy the beauty of the country.” The offer sounds unsure, more like a question. “Have you thought about us?”
“I did.”
An agonizing mix of emotions stirs inside of me, and I have to look away from him. He might never trust me, share those broken pieces with me. And I don’t think that’s going to be enough for me.
“What have you decided?” he asks.
“I want to see where it takes us, but . . .” I clear my throat.
“But what?” He squeezes the wheel, waiting for my answer, until his knuckles get white from tension.
My thoughts barrel my mind with a million reasons why I shouldn’t be with him. The list is way too long, but something deep inside of me refuses to let him go.
“I’m your employee, and if the press gets a whiff of our relationship, it will become a public massacre of my character. Darren will do everything to separate us before the scandal breaks free.” I voice the stakes.
“Is that all?”
“No. You’re also dishonest about your past.” I wait for him to acknowledge it. “You’re going to break me if you’re going to hold back the truth and I can’t afford another heartbreak.”
Tangled IN LIES (Book#3, IN YOU) Page 16
