“Hey, kitten, let’s not do this.”
I squeeze his biceps until he shuts up and lets me finish.
“I love you. I truly do. You were my solace, friend, family, a partner in ridiculous endeavors. When I felt the abyss pulling me down, you filled it with laughter and dragged me out.”
He tries to slip from my grip, but I’m not done with him. I need him to hear it.
“But you also clung to me for the same reason I clung to you.” My lip trembles as his eyes well up.
Leif hates emotional stuff. This is his Achilles’ heel. He spends too much time being alpha male, riding a motorbike, and having sex to sink deeper into his emotions. And he has a huge heart, full of goodness and love.
He cradles me like I’m his baby sister. I allow him, knowing it’s time to move on. But then I push away from his embrace so I can tell him.
“You nurtured my family, loved us the way we needed it. I saw Logan in you. I clung to you because this way it hurt less. This way, I could pretend he was with me.”
Leif’s shaking and his face twists in helpless denial. But I need to set him free from that guilt he’s carrying.
“It’s your turn, buddy, to be a father for your baby daughter and a husband to a woman who loves you. It’s your time to enjoy your life. I’m okay now. You don’t need to extend the cord and pull me back from the void anymore.”
I come closer to the glass door and open it. The fresh air from outside hits me in the face and brings me clarity and strength to do this.
I rise on my toes to kiss him on the cheek. “Time to go home, buddy,” I whisper, hoping he understands what I’m doing.
He holds the frame, resting his forehead on it and watching me, still unable to force words out. Instead, Leif leans in to kiss my forehead, lingering there with his lips, and then he leaves.
My heart breaks a little bit more, seeing his shoulders hunched forward and hands shoved in his pockets. His face twisted in hurt like I kicked him out from my life forever. I didn’t.
A sob bursts free as I slide down the glass to sit on the floor.
“Hey, come here.”
I gasp when familiar hands draw me into his broad chest. And then I melt in Mark’s warm embrace, surrounded by his spicy musk. I clutch onto his shoulders like he is my anchor.
“I’m here, sweetheart, let it go. Let it all rip.”
Mark sits with me on the floor, rocking me until my heart full of anguish feels lighter, and tears finally dry out. Without a single word, he picks me up and takes me to the bedroom. Mark begins to undress me as I watch his every move detached, too numb to care. My lips glued together. I have no strength left to do it myself.
Mark’s movements are careful, gentle, and full of warmth and precision. He’s in control, and it brings me peace that I don’t have to explain anything to him. He simply knows what I need. He strips me naked. And it feels like he stripped me not only of my clothes but also my skin. Like he exposed my muscles, nerves, and other ligaments. And now, he’s looking straight into my bare soul. Open raw and vulnerable.
But Mark’s secrets are like a shard of glass full of sharp edges that might shred my soul to pieces if I’m not careful.
“You’re going to break me.”
“No, baby. I want to mend your heart. Claim every single broken piece of you, and love you with every agonizing breath,” he tells me.
I wind my fingers in his hair and tug him up until his face aligns with mine. Our lips connect, shattering every single wall of anguish. I moan as his passionate lips claim mine, taking charge of our frantic bodies, trying to get closer.
“Mark.” His lips are too hungry to let me talk. His hands roam everywhere.
“Take off your clothes.” I force the words out when he lets me up for air.
I need him naked and bare, just like I feel. Raw. Emotional. Exposed.
Mark rises to his full height and takes his clothes off, never breaking contact, as if his willpower alone could keep me splayed on the sheets. I watch him stalk me, claiming the space and air I’m breathing.
Aroused, Mark looks like a warrior ready to conquer. A dominant power waiting to master my body and nurture my soul. But right now, he’s the one who needs to relent his control and trust me with his past.
“You’re mine, no matter what.” A possessive growl rattles deep in his throat, sending shivers down my spine. He prowls on all fours until his muscular frame hovers above me, searching my eyes.
He settles his weight on me, and my skin electrifies at the contact. I feel his chest rise and fall, and mine responds, syncing with his breathing. Connected, chest to chest, we gaze at each other, looking for the things deeper than the skin or bone marrow.
There are no shields between us, no walls enacted, but a million secrets hovering in golden depths. Mark’s gaze is full of hunger and those demons, but in the center of it, there is love. I clutch onto it, afraid to let the rest of it drown me.
“I want the truth. You kept me in the dark long enough.”
He can’t demand my surrender when he’s clearly holding back from me.
“Aren’t you afraid?” He shackles my hands above my head, letting my chest stretch, exposing my breasts for his eyes to feast. “Aren’t you scared this will end us?”
“I’m many things but not afraid, Mark,” I tell him, determined.
Those hungry eyes trace his movements as his thumb strokes the underside of my breast. “So damn brave and beautiful, it hurts not to be able to claim every inch of you.”
“Stop trying to give me only the pieces of yourself and ask me to surrender to you whole. Tell me who you are. I’m here for you, waiting to entrust me with your past.”
“It isn’t that easy as you might think.” He strokes the corner of my eye, traveling to my jaw. “Those secrets might undo you, Lovebird. You are light, full of love and hope, and I’m the opposite of you. The things I lived through are a pure mindfuck.” His gaze connects with me, and I choke up, seeing so much pain is in there. He smiles sadly, noting my reaction, and brushes his lips against my forehead.
“Mark.” I gasp, pleading. “Please . . .” I don’t even know what I’m asking anymore. “You promised me the truth, so tell me the way you can. The way it won’t break you.”
27
Twisted Past
~Cassandra~
“All right.” He sits on the edge of the bed as if to make more space between us. “Just don’t run.” His troubled gaze is begging me to stay while part of him expects me to do exactly that.
“I won’t leave you, Mark. Not with your past, not with your demons.”
His nostrils flare as he touches his chin as if to soothe himself.
“Remember when I told you my blood family found me?”
I hold my breath, afraid to make a sound.
“I’m Darren’s nephew.”
My head spins, and goose bumps prickle, tightening my skin. I gasp from the impact of these three words.
“My biological mother died in childbirth, and there was no one who wanted me. I was in the foster care system until Lester took me in when I was about five. We left a small town close to Zalim to live in the States. I believed in a beautiful picture he painted for me.”
Unsettling shadows mist his eyes, making my guts twist in a knot. Mark jumps to his feet, pacing around as an emotional storm winds him tight like a string.
“You know, Derrek Cade, Darren’s brother, came to visit once.”
The cold snakes into my bones as I wrap the covers around myself to preserve the little warmth I still have.
“I didn’t know who he was, but he recognized me. I saw it in his eyes as he kissed my head goodbye and said something that didn’t make sense. My father,” he spits it out like he can’t stand to call him that, “left me with the monster who broke me and never returned.” Mark’s sharp gaze cuts into me, searching for something.
“Derrek Cade knew where you were?” I force the bitter words to pass my lips.
His mouth parts to tell me something else, but it chokes him.
“It’s okay, Mark, breathe,” I whisper gently, needing him to draw on my strength. His lips trace my neckline as he breathes me in.
“I was fourteen when Darren found me.” His words cascade down my neck. “He told me they never knew where I was. I didn’t believe him.”
“Did you tell them about Derrek?”
He shakes his head, squeezing me to him. I realize he never trusted them with the truth. Or perhaps they haven’t tried hard enough to prove themselves to him, and Mark needed it.
“They took me in, and I wanted to run as far as I could from their wealthy world. The poverty didn’t scare me as much as that perverted world I came from. But Logan became my friend and I caved in. He didn’t try to change me.”
Hot tears trail down my cheeks thinking about him as a boy. Lonely with his own fears, unable to trust anyone to soothe him, and my heart breaks a little bit more.
I entwine our fingers. “Not going anywhere,” I whisper, afraid to disrupt the fragile atmosphere but yet needing him to know he has me now.
“I trusted him, followed, and loved him like the brother I’ve never had. But Logan was hungry for power, the thrill of the game. He felt lust for everything. I guess I was fascinated by him and his drive to own the world. I was closer to him than his triplet brothers.” He chuckles, finding no humor in this.
“When Logan asked me to pass him the inheritance, I gave him all. I didn’t need anything from my biological father. I was driven to earn my success, not to owe anything to anyone who I am. Especially his family.” And he did.
Mark’s warmth envelops me as he wraps my legs around his torso. His hand goes around my shoulders, holding me as I listen. I didn’t realize I was shaking until I heard a whisper, “It’s all right. I got you.”
My silent tears fall on his shoulders.
“After a few years, I realized Belington and the Cades might be working together. So, I decided to tell them the truth.”
My skin crawls when he takes a shaky breath and turns to look at me.
“Except it didn’t matter. I told them everything about my past. They knew how dirty the money they’re juggling with is. I held back nothing. I told them every gruesome detail. And they still chose him.” His grim words choke me like a noose.
~Mark~
It’s difficult to remove myself from the memories pouring in. Not to let them drag me into another PTSD episode.
“Mark?” she calls me.
“I walked away from their empire, and I haven’t looked back. But not Logan. He was my brother, the only person I allowed myself to love.” I have to swallow a large lump of hurt before I can talk again. Their betrayal twists my guts into a knot even today.
“I don’t want his money. You can keep it,” I told Logan when he asked if I wanted to invest it. I couldn’t care less. His father had been circling my inheritance like a vulture for months. I guess Logan decided to take things into his own hands.
“Pass it to me. I’ll take care of it.”
I twist around to look at him, standing in his new office his father gave him after graduation.
He was the only son out of his triplets who chose banking. Logan was the pride of his family. His gaze was hard, jaw sharp with purpose.
“It’s yours,” I look away, disappointed he wants it.
Logan’s hand lands on my stiff shoulder. “Don’t be so proud. You’ll need money to build your dreams too.”
“One day, I figured out the truth. How much I meant to this family.”
She stares at me. I’m not sure if she’s even breathing.
Cassandra’s eyebrows crease. “What do you mean?”
Before giving her what she wants to know, I brush away tears from her glowing cheeks, apologizing for the fact I’ll hurt her even more.
“The Cades and Belington kept working together, knowing the truth. They announced their partnership in one of those posh balls, shook their hands, smiling at the cameras as media snapped photos of this successful ‘two financial dragons’ partnership. I knew that this family chose money and power over me. I was a transaction piece, a small price to pay for supremacy of the ever-growing empire.”
I pause, letting her take it all in, waiting for her rejection.
“Wait, they didn’t report him? Didn’t put him in jail?”
I shake my head. Her lips press in a tight line. Anger fuels her face.
“And then, so sudden, Logan gets out, leaving the empire, money, and power, to live with a new family, right here. I followed him to London and demanded him to explain what he was up to, but he pushed me away. Told me to leave him alone and live my own life. He discarded me when I needed him the most.”
I was dying. Alone. Logan didn’t care.
I clear my throat and gather myself to tell the rest, keeping a few secrets to myself. Hoping one day, she will be able to understand and forgive me.
“I warned Logan about Lester.” But he didn’t listen and then he died. Tragedy turned our lives upside down. “He told me I should forget the past and move on.”
In the end, I was saved from the grip of death, and she survived the car crash.
At the hospital, a few doors down from her, I was recovering from an operation too.
Cassandra Cade was in a coma for so long no one believed she’d wake up or be the same. The doctor warned the family her brain might never function the same. A few times I snuck in, drawn to her by an invisible force. I stroked her hair and held her bruised hand in mine, begging her to come back.
The life support machines were living for her, helping her to breathe, but she wasn’t done. Unlike Logan, she had hope. The devastated family wasn’t able to accept the truth, but with the first breath, Cassandra set the time back again. And it all hit us like a tsunami all at once.
It was the beginning of my obsession with her. I wanted to know her, to understand why Logan chose her and left his crooked empire to be with her. Why loving her was more important?
It doesn’t matter anymore because I know now. I love her more than my own life. Just like him. I’m hers too. I’ll do anything to make her happy.
Wincing at the phantom ache the past brought to me, I stroke my chest, needing to settle my still aching organ. I gasp, trying to push the feeling down. But Cassandra’s warm, petite body lurches in my arms, and the hollow pain sucks the air out of my lungs.
I haven’t let myself grieve Logan.
Grief is too dangerous for people like me. It robs you of your focus. Dulls your senses, and drags you down. You can’t allow yourself to feel it. All you have is survival instincts to protect you. But here with her, I have no choice but to do it. The walls are gaping open, and she’s nestling there.
My ultimate weakness.
The light to my darkness.
She’s calling me and my dark soul gives in.
“I’m sorry, Mark, for all the pain and loss you suffered alone.” With those words alone, she slays me. Cassandra has no idea that she’s healing me, soothing my tattered soul. And that’s why I’ll do anything to keep her or die trying.
I pull her tight against me and settle us both in the bed, happy to hold her like this. I let us both exist in this moment of sadness and comfort.
“Let me love you tonight.” I kiss her parted lips, like a starved man, drinking her responses. “Let me show you how much you mean to me.”
My heart accelerates with wild joy behind my rib cage as she kisses me back with so much warmth and passion, it melts my heart and dissolves the darkness. Our bodies move in sync and our hearts unite as we both get lost in each other.
28
Riddles
~Cassandra~
Someone’s familiar sweet, warm breath cascades d
own my face, drawing me to wakefulness. Oh no! I keep my eyes closed while I assess my bearings. I’m sleeping naked with a very aroused Mark spooning me from behind. His hand between my legs twitches, sending delicious tingles down my spine straight to my damp pussy. My chest drums nervously as my eyes snap open. Dammit!
Curious, Leon’s watching Mark and me sleeping together. Here comes trouble!
“Hi.” My voice cracks from the adrenaline pumping through my system and because of Mark affecting me this way. “You’re awake!” I flinch at my tone, too high even to my own ears.
Keeping my eyes fixed on my boy, I shake Mark’s leg, hoping he’ll stop moving those fingers so close to where I ache.
“You’re hungry?” My face flames as his cute features crease into disapproval mixed with confusion.
Grasping the sheet closer to my chest, I rise into a sitting position, making sure Mark’s covered too. My eyes twist to the left, finding my daughter sitting next to Mark with the water gun ready to shoot. My twins are always together, unleashing chaos like a team. Lucas brought it last time he was gone on a mission to teach them some war tactics. I know it’s loaded by the way she’s holding it. And by the determination etched on her face I know she’s about to use it. Time to run interference.
“Baby, don’t . . .” But she cocks her head and shoots before I can stop her. Straight to the face of the man whose hands are still wrapped around me.
“What the hell!” Mark jerks into a sitting position, shaking the water off his face. When he notices the little warrior in front of him, he grasps the sheet to cover himself. I let out a shriek of amusement but soon smother it with my palm.
“Why are you naked?” Liane demands, pointing the water gun at Mark, whose arms rise into the air. He assesses Liane in front of him and smiles, showing those sexy dimples that make me weak.
“Good morning, sweetheart.” His morning voice makes me close my eyes and savor those husky undertones. The heat radiating off him in waves reaches me until I have to press my legs together to quench the hunger he’s awakening.
Tangled IN LIES (Book#3, IN YOU) Page 26
