by Khalid Uddin
“Tasz.” Her voice was faint. “What…what are you doing here?”
“I needed to see you. Ever since I left this blasted town, I haven’t stopped thinking about you. I needed to know about us. But forget that for now. Are you sick? What happened? Are you seriously hurt?”
“I will be well in time. It’s…complicated.” She remained turned away from Baltaszar and turned her face away from him.
“Tell me what happened.”
Yas stared into the darkness for several seconds. “I went back to your house to see you the night after your father died. I felt guilty for shutting you out and I had been hoping to perhaps rekindle what we’d had.” She choked as if holding down a sob. “I found Bo’az…but…he was pretending to be you. It was dark Tasz, I had no way of knowing the difference. I didn’t even know why he would lie.”
“Pretending to be me? Why? Why would he do that?”
“I realized the truth later on and confronted him. He apparently…had fancied me and…I don’t really understand it to be honest.”
Baltaszar closed his eyes and shook his head. He hadn’t prepared for anything like this. “Fine. We can get back to that. What happened at my house?”
Yas’ voice was stable now, but still soft. “We weren’t there for very long. Three men came looking for you, and Bo’az continued to pretend to be you. They wanted to take you with them to see their master. Linas was the leader. He was very tall. The other two were Slade and Gibreel. Slade was quiet; Gibreel was a bloody chuff.”
“Slade came to me the night my father died. He is the one who told me to leave Haedon. He would have known that Bo’az was not me. Light of Orijin, there’s a bloody line down my face!”
“I didn’t understand what was happening, Baltaszar. Slade told the others that Bo’az was you. So either he was fooled or he was lying. We agreed to go with them because we thought it was the safest thing. They promised to protect you…well, Bo’az. They barely cared about me.”
Baltaszar grasped his jaw for a few moments. “Where were they taking you? How did you get back here? If you are here, then where is Bo? Is he safe?”
Yasaman sighed and again stared into nothingness. She pursed her lips and then spoke. “They never said exactly where. Bo’az mentioned a name, something with a D. Dari…Dorian...”
“Hold on. Do you mean Darian?”
“I think that’s what he said to them. They told us Darian was their master. They were taking us…well Bo’az…to him.”
Baltaszar pulled Yas’ shoulder so she could face him. “Look at me. Is Bo’az still with these men?”
She nodded. “I…I don’t know. It’s been months since I left them.”
“If Slade is with him, then there is hope. Slade wouldn’t protect me only to…or would he?”
“What are you talking about? What’s going on?”
“They were lying to you. They’re not going to Darian. Darian has been dead for thousands of years. Light of Orijin, where could they be going?” Baltaszar closed his eyes for a moment. “Yas, tell me the rest. Maybe I can piece this together and make sense of all of it. Where did they take you and how did you manage to escape?”
“We were traveling north. We rode through the Never and into the mountains beyond. They were trying to reach their boat beyond the mountains. I never made it that far. Though, I did not actually escape.”
“What do you mean? Sit up, won’t you? I can help you up.”
“I cannot. My legs and arms are still weak from being broken and also the…there are other things. Let me just lie here. Baltaszar, I made it back here because they tried to kill me.” Baltaszar stared at her wide-eyed. “We were attacked by giant wildcats on the mountain. The cats killed our horses and my leg was broken in the process. Gibreel thought I would be a hindrance so he pushed me over the mountain.”
“He what! From how high? How are you alive?”
“He pretended he was going to help me and then threw me over the edge. It was high up. I fell for what felt like minutes. Honestly, I don’t know why I’m alive. I know I hit something at some point. I mean, I would’ve had to, to break so many bones. But I don’t remember the actual impact. After falling I remember being in so much pain that I felt as if my whole body was on fire. But even then, I don’t think I was awake. I just remember this constant intense heat. Every now and then I would be aware of the world around me and I knew that someone was moving me. I don’t know how long that went on; I only remember seeing these blood-red eyes every so often. But who knows if that was even real?” Baltaszar perked up at that, but kept quiet. “Tasz, all I know is that I’m back here and I’m safe. The nurse said that my bones should heal just fine. She’s staying here until I’m well. And once I heal and after everything else is over in a couple of months, maybe I can be completely healthy again.”
Baltaszar’s brow furrowed. “After what else is over? What’s happening in a couple of months?” Yas put her hand to her mouth and tears poured from her eyes as she trembled. “Yas. What is it? You have to tell me.” She closed her eyes and continued to lie motionless. Baltaszar arose and walked to the other side of the bed to face her. He was about to sit before her but changed his mind and forced the blankets away from Yasaman’s body. “What? What…is…this?”
Her face contorted as she tried to force something out, her words as ugly and distorted as her countenance. “I don’t know how to explain it.”
“Yas. Who did this to you? Did one of those three men do this? Did they do this? Tell me. Tell me who and I will bloody kill the gobshite excuse for man!”
Yasaman cried even more than before. “No. It wasn’t them Tasz. It wasn’t them. I’m sorry Tasz, it wasn’t them.”
Baltaszar’s face twitched and he gritted his teeth in order to get the words out. “Then who?”
Yas’ face was slick with unending tears. “I’m sorry, Tasz. It was a mistake. We…we thought we were going to die. We only wanted to comfort each other. All we had left was each other. You…you have to understand. You left. It was only us.”
Baltaszar could feel the blood smearing on his fingertips from clenching his fists so hard. He barely opened his mouth. “You will tell me his goddamned name.” He already knew. He wanted her to say it. To admit to it. To feel the weight of the pain she’d caused him.
“Bo’az.” Her voice cracked. “I’m sorry Tasz. It was Bo’az.”
“You bloody whore. You were afraid of death? I’ve faced worse in the past eight months. There were other girls who fancied me. I refrained because of you. I drowned. I was poisoned. I was shot by an arrow. I kept going because of you. I came back to see you. I needed to see you so I could know how to get on with my shitty life. And this is what I return to? You’re having the baby of my goddamned coward of a twin brother? I’m going to kill him. The Blind Man was right. I am going to bloody kill Bo’az.”
“Tasz, no! It’s my fault, not his! I started it! Please! He is innocent!”
Baltaszar walked to the door. “Good. Then I’ll burn down all of Haedon and let you watch it. The agony you’ll see in all those faces will be nothing compared to what you’ve done to me.” He left the house and all around him snowflakes turned to drops of fire, falling from the sky on Haedon, with the exception of the Adin farm. Several minutes later, as Baltaszar reached the Never, the houses burned brightly while snow melted from the streets. They were so afraid of the bloody fire before. Good. Now their fears are real.
Baltaszar continued the fire drops as he walked through the forest for several minutes and let them grow into fireballs. The flames spread quickly. Trees groaned and collapsed around him. The air thickened. Smoke billowed from all sides. Baltaszar walked on, uncaring whether he even made it back to Vandenar. Flames emanated from his body, so close that they turned his clothes to ashes. His skin burned and charred but he continued to call forth more fire. His flesh flaked off of him like ash. He dropped to hands and knees, no longer able to feel anything but searing pain. Baltaszar’s ey
es watered so profusely that he could not be sure if the silhouettes in the distance were real or just his imagination.
Chapter 22
Indefinitely
From The Book of Orijin, Verse Twenty-Three
No experience is worthless if you are able to learn from and improve from it.
Baltaszar awoke frenetically twitching about in the bed. He tried to move, but his arms were tied down. He craned his neck to look at his body. He lay under a few blankets. His legs were restrained as well. Baltaszar attempted to summon his manifestation, but he didn’t have the energy. Only then did he feel the severe pangs of hunger stabbing at his stomach. Aside from that, his body was mostly numb.
“Yeah, they didn’t trust you to do as you wished once you woke up. I’m sure you can understand why.” Baltaszar looked to his right to see Lincan in a chair at the wall. “Then again, do you even know what happened?”
Baltaszar took a moment to let the question register in his aching head. That whore. That bastard. “I remember walking into the Never, wanting to set the whole world on fire. I’m assuming I did my best to try? I know it got me—I was definitely burning. Are we back at the House?”
Lincan nodded and snorted. “You’re incredibly lucky that we found you. And even luckier that Maven Savaiyon and I were there. I had to start healing you right there, while Maven Savaiyon made a gateway in the middle of the burning forest. We could hardly see clearly enough to get to the gateway. Desmond had to levitate you through because you were too charred to carry. You were black, crisp, and missing chunks of flesh all over the place.”
Pangs of guilt replaced the hunger attacking his stomach. “I’m sorry Linc. Really, I am. You don’t know what happened, though. I wasn’t just throwing a tantrum.”
“You’d better have a hell of a reason for what happened. You have a lot of people angry at you. Though I don’t know that any reason will be enough to quench that. So what did happen in Haedon? Did Yas get married? Run away? Angry parents?”
A tear formed at the corner of Baltaszar’s eye, but he steeled himself. “Worse. So much worse. I still can hardly believe it. She’s…she’s pregnant with Bo’az’s baby.” He cut himself off there. He could have said more, but it would only make him angrier. If Lincan didn’t understand the severity from that, there was no point in continuing to talk anyway.
“Oh. Wow. Damn. I’m sorry, Tasz. I…I didn’t expect that.”
“Yeah. I can’t believe this whole time I was so desperate to go back.”
“You don’t have to go back to Haedon ever again. Maybe you should start telling everyone you’re Shivaani. Wipe Haedon from your memory.”
“Oh trust me, I’m not going back. If I ever see Bo’az again, I’ll kill him.”
“At least you got your closure?”
Baltaszar’s countenance softened slightly. “There’s closure and then there’s that. I guess it’s safe to say that we’re done.”
“On the bright side, Anahi is basically sitting there waiting for you.”
What! How could I have forgotten about her! “Oh no! How long have we been back here?”
“I’d say about four days?”
“Four? No. No! Dammit, I have to bloody go! I have to go back to Vandenar now!”
“Whoa, calm down. First, you have to get your strength back. Then you have to get back into the good graces of Marlowe and all of the Mavens. Even then, I doubt they’ll let you leave this place any time soon. It’s not just that you burned yourself and the forest. You set your village on fire, too! That’s the work of a filthy bounder, Tasz. What if people are dead now because of you?”
Baltaszar closed his eyes and let it all sink in. He’s right. There’s no excuse for what I did. I have to learn to control myself. I have to prove to them that I can use my manifestation wisely. Prove that…no, wait. If they were willing to bloody teach me something here, then maybe this wouldn’t have happened. “You know what, the House is just as guilty as I am. I’ve been here over seven months and I’ve taught myself as much about my manifestation as they have. Maybe if Marlowe opened his eyes and saw us for what we are, things like this wouldn’t happen because I’d know how to control myself. Yeah, I should have been more responsible with my fire, but Light of Orijin, Linc, I control fire! How stupid is Marlowe that he thinks I’m better off not learning how to use it and control it? Instead, I’ve been relegated to lighting torches and fireplaces.”
“That’s not what they’re going to want to hear, Tasz. Like I said, they’re angry. It would be stupid to yell at them the first chance you get.”
Baltaszar turned his head, “What about you? You mad?”
Lincan smirked, “I was annoyed until last night. It took us three days and nights, almost nonstop, to heal you. I don’t think I’ve done that much healing if I combined everyone I healed.”
“So what happened last night?”
“Oh yeah, that was the best part. Well for those three days and nights, it was pretty much me and Delilah working on you together. You know, since I’ve had infirmary duty ever since you framed me. And I tried my usual charm like always, just jokingly, figuring she’s a Daughter of Tahlia, so I have no chance. But when we were finally finished and split up and I went back upstairs to relax, she knocked on the door half an hour later. She pushed me onto the bed and pretty much took control of everything. We went at it almost the whole night. I was so damn tired this morning you should’ve seen how much I ate for breakfast! That was almost as exhausting as healing you!”
Baltaszar was dumbfounded. Delilah was the Maven who ran the infirmary. She had the ability to pass through objects, walls, and basically any other substance she wanted. It was a manifestation that worked extremely well in healing people. “Strange. Are you sure she didn’t just want you to give her a baby?”
“Trust me, I asked! There was no way I was making a baby, even if she wouldn’t expect me to be a father. She made it clear that there were no intentions of the sort. For the love of everything in the sea, Tasz, what we did last night was worth more than the last three days! If this turns into a regular thing, I think I’ll be in your debt instead.”
“I can’t believe it, Linc. You bloody turned a Daughter of Tahlia! Does Vasher know? He’ll be angry on so many levels!” Baltaszar stopped as a thought entered his head. “Wait a minute, how the hell did you know where I was? How did you find me? Did Raish bloody tell you? I told him it was a damn secret! I swear I’m going to beat the hell out of him! Bloody traitor!”
“You have way too much anger in you for your own good, man. Raish had nothing to do with it. You apparently snuck out just as Maven Savaiyon and Maven Kadoog’han were walking in. Kadoog’han noticed and stayed outside. He followed you all the way to the river, but couldn’t follow you across. He came back and told us immediately. Cyrus told us no boats would be there until the morning, so we went to sleep and waited until sunrise. We all knew by then where you were going. So don’t worry, none of your friends are out to get you or hurt you, Tasz. And speaking of hurt, I think I might have made you impervious to your own fire in the process of healing you. Thought you’d like to know.”
Baltaszar furrowed his brow. What? “What do you mean, ‘impervious?’ That’s impossible.”
“One of my talents with my manifestation is that I can sort of ‘read’ people’s bodies. I can’t really explain how I do it—it’s just that I understand what’s wrong in people and when things are different. With you, it was almost as if I activated something. I don’t really know how to explain it. Something just changed in your system and I have a hunch that that’s what it is. Seriously, when you are well enough to use your manifestation again, try it on yourself. I’m almost positive you’ll be fine. If not, well then I’ll just heal you again, no hard feelings. Nothing to lose.”
The door opened beside Lincan, and Savaiyon stormed in. He barely acknowledged Lincan and glared at Baltaszar. “Good, you are awake. Finally we can get some answers.” Savaiyon glanced at Li
ncan and Lincan scuttled out of the room. “Well?”
Baltaszar’s throat was suddenly dry. He swallowed hard a few times. “I went back to Haedon. I needed to speak to a few people. It turns out that the girl I used to love is having a child with my twin brother. I was angry, I overreacted. I know I did. Can you just tell me what my punishment is so that I can get on with it and start redeeming myself?”
Savaiyon seemed to soften for a moment, but then it was gone. “The situation is not as simple as that. You burned down part of the forest. You put lives at risk. We do not even know if there were casualties because we had to rush back here to save your life. You disregarded a mission. And you abandoned your brothers. They seem to have forgiven your actions. However, Zin Marlowe and the Mavens of the House are not as sympathetic. Your actions are almost comparable to Prince Garrison’s. You have heard of him by now, correct?” Baltaszar nodded solemnly. “Good. Prince Garrison is a criminal to the House of Darian and, as a result, does not walk among our ranks.”
Baltaszar interrupted him, “I get the idea. So then what are you saying will happen to me?”
Interrupting wasn’t the wisest choice, as Savaiyon instantly seemed more perturbed. “Your punishment has not been decided yet. I am about to bring you to the Room of Judgment. There, Marlowe will decide your fate. No matter what he chooses, I do not see this going well for you, Baltaszar. Whatever expectations you have that things will simply work out in the end, get rid of them. You did not lie or steal. You tried to burn down a town. Out there in the rest of Ashur, that is grounds for execution.”
Baltaszar exhaled deeply and turned away. There was nothing else to say. No one else really cared about the pain he felt. About the betrayal he was dealing with. His fear bordered on self-pity and despair, but he quickly filled himself with scorn instead. “Then take me there now.” He turned his head back to Savaiyon. “Give me my judgment now. Why wait? Anyone who wishes to see me leave this place is a hypocrite and shares the guilt in this matter. Take me to Marlowe now and I’ll bloody tell him myself.”
