by Drew Hunt
“You need to be with your son, you know you do. Given the sort of background you came from, not being raised by your parents, you can’t let that happen to Adam. You know you can’t.”
“That’s my decision, not yours! I chose you, damn it! You can’t run my life for me, decide what I should and shouldn’t do.”
“You’re right, but I can decide things that affect me. And having you live here when in your heart you want to be with your son, that—”
“How the fuck do you know what’s in my heart?
Battling not to cry, and to keep his voice calm, David ploughed on. “I love you, so I know what’s in your heart. You’re staying with me because you think it’s the right thing to do. You feel you owe me for forgiving you, for nursing you back to health. That’s so admirable, and believe me I love you all the more for it. But you can’t stay living with me. It just wouldn’t work. In a month, two months, a year’s time, you’ll come to resent, even hate me.”
“I could never hate you.”
“Not now maybe, but think about it. Every time we have an argument, and, babe, we do disagree from time to time, you’ll come to blame me for the fact that you aren’t getting to see Adam.”
“I’d never do that.”
“Maybe not now, but in time. Hell, this past couple of days has been impossibly strained between us, you know it has.”
Bud remained silent.
“I don’t want to lose you. God knows you’ve made one hell of a difference to my life. But your son, that innocent little boy, he needs you more.”
“But Lisa. I don’t love her. I—”
“I know. You’d have to do it for Adam’s sake. I know it’s far from being ideal, and trust me I’ve seen plenty of examples of two parents staying together for the sake of the child, and it usually ends up with the kid being more confused and unhappy than if the parents had split up.”
“There you are then.”
“No, you don’t understand. It’s different in this case. Lisa holds all the cards. If you don’t go back to her, then she’ll put Adam in foster care. Do you believe that she won’t follow through on her threat?”
Bud shook his head in the negative. “She’d do it all right.”
“So, there’s no decision to make. I’ve got to give you up so that little boy will know what it’s like to have a wonderful, loving and caring father. I’ve always known that you’d make one hell of a good dad. Now’s your chance to prove me right.”
“But, I don’t want to lose you.”
“I don’t want to lose you, either.” David couldn’t hold his tears in any longer. “But I’ve got to, for the sake of that little boy.”
The two embraced, both crying openly.
Bud was the first to recover. “I’ll call the bitch and tell her she’s won.”
“No, Adam is the only one who could claim to be the winner.”
“Yeah. David, when I’ve made the call, I need you,” Bud swallowed. “I need you to make love with me. To me.”
David was surprised at the request. “You mean?”
“Yes,” Bud nodded. “I want you inside me.”
David had always assumed Bud was a total top. “I, well, um…what about your injuries?”
“Screw ‘em. If we take it slow and gentle, I’ll be okay. If I’m gonna lose you, I’m gonna need something special to remember you by.”
Bud’s words set David crying again. Had he made the wrong decision? Had he made the right decision, but was regretting doing so? Could he survive without Bud’s gentle loving presence in his life? He knew, painful though it would be, he’d have to. Leaving the room to allow Bud to make his call, David went to the bedroom to prepare things.
Closing the drapes, David got out the few candles he kept for when the power went out. He wished he had more, because the few he lit didn’t seem enough. David also wished he had some rose petals to spread over the bed, fresh strawberries, as well as a bottle of champagne. Though on reflection he realized the last wouldn’t be appropriate.
After inserting a CD of relaxing classical music into the player, David took inventory. It was far from perfect, but would have to suffice.
Bud opened the door and stood, observing the changes David had made. Walking up to David, he took his lover into his arms. “I called her, and—”
“Let’s not think about that now, please?”
Bud nodded.
David could see Bud had recently shed more tears. “I’ll always love you, Francis Williams.”
“I’ll never forget you, David Grover. You’ll always be with me.” Bud pointed to his heart.
The two undressed each other, neither in any hurry, both wanting to prolong things for as long as they could.
David ran his fingers, then his tongue along the now healed scars on Bud’s torso. The hair had begun to grow back, though in the more heavily scarred areas, it was white. Latching onto Bud’s right nipple, David drew it into his mouth and suckled on it, causing Bud to moan. He let out a soft yelp when David lightly bit down on the sensitized flesh.
Discarding the remainder of his lover’s clothing, David led Bud to the bed and motioned for him to lie on his side. Climbing in behind him, David began to run his fingertips along Bud’s side and back, trying to build up a tactile map of his lover which he could replay in his mind once he’d gone.
Bud moaned low in his throat, reassuring David that he was doing a good job.
“Babe?” Bud asked.
“Uh huh?” David wasn’t going to stop his work, not when he knew Bud enjoyed it so much.
“I want you to mark me, give me a hickey.”
“Huh?”
“Please, babe,” Bud asked the wall, unable to turn round to face David.
The sincerity David heard in his lover’s voice, made his previous dislike of love-bites melt away.
“If that’s what you want. I’m not sure how good I’ll be, but—”
“You’ll be awesome, just like you are with everything you do.”
David began to lick at Bud’s neck, moving his tongue in broad strokes up to and into his ear. This last really got Bud excited.
I’ll have to do this more often, David thought until the realization struck him that he wouldn’t have the opportunity. It took every ounce of David’s self-control not to lose it. He had to stay focused, he had to do this, make this a lovemaking to remember. Slowly sweeping his tongue back down Bud’s neck, David sank his teeth into the skin where Bud’s shoulder met his neck. Bud tensed, David knew he’d bitten too hard. He instantly released his bite.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t—”
“Hey, it was awesome. I’ll wear my hickey with pride.”
“Sure I didn’t hurt you?” David asked the back of Bud’s head. It was weird not having eye contact.
“You wouldn’t know how.”
As David continued to kiss his way down Bud’s wide back with its flared lateral muscles, he tried to remember everything Bud had taught him, shown him, about how to make love to your partner’s whole body. David knew he was nowhere near as good as Bud, but he hoped what he lacked in technique, he more than made up for in enthusiasm. Finding himself at the top of Bud’s ass, David paused momentarily. Could he do it? Could he give his man a rim job? It had never figured in their foreplay before. Knowing he had to give it a try, but fearing rejection or the disappointment of not doing a good job, David began hesitantly.
Using broad strokes, he licked along the upper planes of Bud’s ass. Finding no complaint, on his next sweep, David dug his tongue down a little deeper, eliciting a contented sigh from his lover. Emboldened, David parted Bud’s firm globes and dove down for the main prize. Bud’s body jolted, but somehow David knew it wasn’t due to him being grossed out. The smell. It was Bud of course, but a concentrated, muskier, version of Bud. It wasn’t dirty and disgusting, just more powerful, very erotic.
Bud’s rosebud was clean, David had feared otherwise. This he believed was the main reason why he hadn’t ventured into
rimming previously. He made a mental note to ask Bud sometime why he too had never tried it. That thought made him sad. Pushing it aside, David formed his tongue into a point, and jabbed it at Bud’s opening, which was doing its best to resist.
“Oh,” Bud groaned. “That’s great. Ah. Ooh, yeah. Make love to me. Take me, give it to me.”
David continued to eat out Bud’s chute until his jaw began to ache. “Sorry, gotta stop, my jaw’s hurting.”
“That’s okay. I was getting close, anyway. Please, it’s been a real long time since anyone was up there, I’ll need you to stretch me some.”
“Sure, I’ll just get the lube.”
Unscrewing the cap, David squeezed out a small quantity, and rubbed it between his fingers to warm it a little. He didn’t want Bud’s hole to close up when it came into contact with the chilled gel. After rubbing at Bud’s opening with his middle finger for a few moments, David was finally granted entry. Bud’s anal muscles gripped the invading finger.
“You’re so tight. You sure you want me to do this?”
“Yeah, go for it. As I said, it’s been a long time. Though the last guy to get up there spent a night in the hospital.”
“What?” David paused, his finger in as far as the second knuckle.
“I told him to go slow, but he didn’t listen. He shoved his entire prick up me in one go.”
“Ouch. But why would that put him in the hospital? If anything I’d have thought you’d be the one needing a doctor.”
“Nah, that wasn’t why. But once he’d finished fucking me, I turned round and cleaned his clock for him ‘cause he hadn’t listened to what I’d said about going in easy.”
“Oh, right.” David grew nervous.
“David, don’t even think about going there. I could never, would never hit you. Not ever.”
David leaned down and kissed the back of Bud’s neck. “I know, sweetheart.”
The rest of Bud’s stretching proceeded without incident, though David tried to get as much lube into Bud as he could manage. It was only as he began to withdraw his fingers that something occurred to him.
“Bud?”
“Yeah? I think I’m loose enough now.”
“Yeah. But I just realized something. We don’t have any rubbers, least not ones in my size.”
Bud tried to twist his head so he could look at David, but his internal injuries wouldn’t allow him. Addressing the wall, Bud asked, “Have you been tested?”
“Yeah, but that was years ago, after Paul…”
“You were clean?”
“Oh, yeah, I even did the test again six months later.”
“I’m clean, also. We’re always getting tested in the Corps, and they did the test again when I was in the hospital. Everything came back negative.”
“Yeah, I know, you told me before.”
“So, um, we don’t need to use condoms. And, um, well, I’d sorta like to be able to take a bit of you back to Lisa…um, I mean…away with me. You know…so I can—”
David had forgotten for a few moments about Lisa and her evil ultimatum. “Oh, Bud!” David withdrew his fingers, ran round the bed so he was facing his lover. Wrapping him in his arms, David let his tears flow and mingle with Bud’s. “I love you. If you want me to do it without a condom, then of course I will. I just didn’t ever want to put you at risk.”
“Me, either. But it’s safe. I just need to have that little bit of you to take away with me.”
“You got it. I’d do anything for you. I’d take your place if I could, ‘cause you don’t deserve to have to go through any more bad stuff.”
“You, either. Please, David, please just make love to me. I need you to plant your seed in me and make me yours.”
Both men dried their tears. David then spent a couple minutes just kissing and stroking his man’s face, trying to etch its shape and texture into his memory. Then he returned to his task. He found Bud’s hole needed some re-stretching.
“Um, I think that ought to be enough, though I’m not an expert. I know I’m not that big, but you must promise to let me know if I’m hurting you. I just couldn’t do—”
“It’s okay. I promise I’ll tell you.”
“Thanks.”
The knowledge he would soon be parted from Bud didn’t help David’s arousal. At best he could describe himself as half-hard. Keeping three fingers of his right hand inside Bud, David started to jerk himself off with his left. Using the wrong hand did little to excite him.
“What’s wrong?”
“I, um. I don’t know if it’s because I’m not used to being the top, or, or,” David swallowed, “Because of, um, you know.” He couldn’t speak the words. “But I can’t get hard.”
Bud turned, dislodging David’s fingers from his ass. “Come up here, and I’ll help.”
Bud’s blowjobs had always brought David into full, leaking hardness in a matter of seconds. But due to the situation, he found it difficult to get sexually aroused. Finally he reached the point where he thought he would be hard enough, so asked Bud to stop.
Bud wanted to be on his back to receive David’s love, but the latter knew this would put too much strain on Bud’s still healing wounds.
“I know, and trust me, I’d love nothing more than being able to see your beautiful face, but you’d be too uncomfortable. Please go back to lying on your side, I know it’s not ideal, but—”
“Okay. I know you’re right.”
David knew his lovemaking technique wouldn’t win any prizes. He concentrated on trying to love his man the best he could, give him something positive to think about whenever he recalled this day. David also needed a good memory for that day, too.
Due to the recent spell of light activity, Bud’s body wasn’t as firmly muscled as David remembered. In many ways David appreciated his lover’s somewhat softer physique. Though Bud’s anal canal was amazingly tight, gripping and milking David’s slowly moving penis, it was Bud’s awesome ass globes that were the biggest revelation. The soft, but still firm, buns provided a wonderful cushion at the end of David’s in strokes.
Changing position, David straddled Bud’s lower leg. Lifting and bending Bud’s upper leg, David found he could plough just that little bit deeper. Feeling he was getting into his rhythm, David began to increase the speed of his thrusts.
“Great, you’re doing great.”
“Not too hard?”
“No. Ooph, yeah, do that again!”
David wasn’t sure what he’d done, but attempted to repeat it.
“Yeah, you got my love nut! Oh, Christ, yeah.”
David wasn’t used to topping, and knew he hadn’t developed any techniques for delaying his climax. However, he was still surprised at how quickly his orgasm snuck up on him, and at how powerful it was. He couldn’t be certain, but David thought he shouted something unintelligible as he fired his essence deep inside his lover’s bowel.
Collapsing from exhaustion, David lay panting, draped over Bud’s hips.
“Sweetheart, you’ll have to get off me, you’re too heavy.”
“Uh, sorry.” David had forgotten about Bud’s wounds.
Sliding off, David saw Bud’s penis was still erect. There was no sign he’d reached climax. Though he knew two men didn’t often reach orgasm together while making love, it bothered him deeply he hadn’t managed to bring his partner off, when he’d done all he could to provide him with as much pleasure as possible.
“I’m sorry,” David said.
“It’s just you were too heavy, is all.”
“No, I meant, I’m sorry you didn’t get to come.”
“Oh, that. I still had an awesome time, though. You ought to top more often.”
David knew he wouldn’t get the chance to top, bottom or anything else now Bud was leaving. He battled to push those thoughts to the back of his mind. He had to concentrate on Bud. Make him feel good, loved, cherished.
“You have to come, too. Please. I want one final,” David could feel his re
solve weakening, “I need a bit of you inside me, too. Please lie on your back, and I’ll give you a blowjob.”
Bud positioned himself, wincing at the effort. “It’s not necessary.”
“It is. I—” David couldn’t hold in his tears any longer. “I need to show you how much I love you, how much you’ve changed my life. Sorry, I wanted to keep it together until you left. The last thing you need is me going all emotional.”
Bud motioned for David to crawl up the bed. Cupping David’s face in his large hands, he said, “I can’t make any promises, hon, but me leaving shouldn’t be a permanent thing. I’ve got a feeling Lisa won’t want me around forever, and…earlier, when you said she held all the cards, that got me thinking. I was the best damn poker player in my unit, and I’ve got a few tricks up my sleeve.”
“Really? What can you do?”
“I don’t want to say yet, just in case things don’t go as I hope. I probably shouldn’t have said anything, but I couldn’t see you so upset.”
“Oh, Bud.”
“Come on, dry those beautiful eyes of yours. It’s gonna be okay.”
“You promise? Sorry, you said you couldn’t give me any guarantee. But you’ve given me hope, and that’s a lot more than I had a few minutes ago.”
With renewed enthusiasm, David dived onto Lil Bud and did his absolute best to pleasure his man. David took in more and more of Bud’s weapon until he had the whole length. Usually his gag reflex prevented him from swallowing it all, but David was determined to overcome his fears of choking in order to bring Bud off in style.
Just when David sensed Bud was getting close, he pulled off. Bud looked annoyed, but David took no heed. David laved his lover’s heavy balls in their hairless sack, causing David to wonder if Bud shaved his scrotum. Taking one precious egg into his mouth, there was no way he could fit both at once, David began to hum, making Bud moan.
All in all, David spent a good ten minutes treating his man to the best blowjob he had ever given. He knew Bud would make every effort to get them back together, but that could take weeks, if not months. Therefore his oral efforts had to last Bud a long time.
David lay on the bed, unable to remove his arms from around Bud’s waist. While ever he held him, all was okay, the world could go and fuck itself. But deep down he knew he was only putting off the inevitable.
