by Drew Hunt
Gary reached for a cushion and covered his essentials. No one seemed to know what to say. Then Trevor took charge. Turning to Gary he said, “This is Paul, you remember I told you about him.”
“Uh, yeah, pleased to meet you. Gary offered his free hand to shake. Numbly Paul accepted it.
“Could you go back upstairs, love? Paul said he had something important to tell me. I’ll be up in a minute.”
Gary smiled, leaned over and gave Trevor a kiss on the lips before turning toward the door, his naked arse fully visible. “Nice meeting you, Paul,” Gary said before leaving.
“Uh.” Could this get any more surreal?
Turning back to Paul, Trevor asked, “What’s wrong?”
“I—” Paul opened and closed his mouth, trying to summon up the courage to say what he’d intended to say. But Gary…Trevor’s long-lost lover—”I…Well I thought Gary had, I mean isn’t he married?”
Trevor looked confused. “Well, uh, yeah, but… Well, he and his wife are having problems and—”
Paul didn’t want to know. He was too late. He felt foolish, hurt, confused. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have come. This was a bad idea.” His vision clouded by tears that were freely coursing down his cheeks, Paul bolted from the room and ran down the hallway. “I’m sorry. “ He fumbled with the Yale lock, which finally released. “I’m sorry,” he repeated. Paul sprinted for the safety of his car.
Chapter 8
Trevor sighed. Charles Dickens was spot on. Having Gary stay with him really was a case of it being the best of times and the worst of times.
He sat opposite Gary, he in his recliner, Gary occupying Paul’s former place on the sofa. Trevor wanted, itched to sit next to Gary, be held and feel safe in his arms like he used to. But he couldn’t. Gary wasn’t free, he had a wife and kids. Trevor sighed again.
“That was a deep sigh.”
He hadn’t realised he’d made a sound. “Oh, uh, sorry. Just thinking.”
“About?”
“Stuff. What it was like back when we were kids.”
“Yeah.” Gary stretched up his arms, then reclined back on the sofa, Trevor eagerly drinking in the sight. “Come lay with me.”
“I can’t. We’ve been through this.” Gary had been staying with him for a couple of days. So far Trevor had managed to resist all Gary’s efforts to woo him. “You know I can’t.”
“It’s just a cuddle.”
“It wouldn’t stay just a cuddle. Gary, you know how I feel about you. I’ve been in love with you since the first day your family moved in next door.”
Gary didn’t say anything for a moment. Then quietly he said, “I’m sorry.” He looked so down-hearted.
Trevor hated to see the first person he had loved so sad. “I know things aren’t good between you and Lisa at the moment, but have you at least told her that you’re okay, that you’re safe?”
Gary looked confused for a moment, then his face fell. “I lied.”
Trevor was the next to be confused.
“Trev, I thought I could do this, but—”
“What?” Confusion turned to concern.
“I lied to you. I’m…Lisa and I aren’t having marital problems.”
Trevor shook his head. “I don’t understand.”
“I…oh God this is difficult. Don’t get me wrong, I love Lisa and the kids. They’re great. But…but, well I miss not having a man. I miss not being able to love a man.”
“Oh.” Suddenly the room felt several degrees colder. Gary, his hero, the man he’d never stopped loving for the best part of twenty years wanted to use him, have him be the male equivalent of the other woman. Rising from his chair and making for the door, Trevor said, “Were you going to tell me? Or were you just going to fuck me then leave me again?” He paused in the doorway and turned to face Gary. “Well?” He sensed his voice was rising in volume.
“I—” Gary turned a pair of anguished eyes up at him.
Trevor almost melted and forgave him. Almost. “You were my life. When you left—” He shook his head, unwilling to revisit those dark images.
“You said it was all right. You let me go.”
“Gary, I loved you. When people love someone as much as I loved, no, still love you, they put their happiness first. I knew Lisa and the likelihood of children would make you happy. Happier than I could. That’s why I let you go.”
Trevor turned into the hall and went into his kitchen. He needed a cup of tea—something stronger—hell, he didn’t know. He felt betrayed. The wound that had healed years earlier was ripped open again.
Standing at the sink, looking out at the garden hidden in dark shadows cast by the advancing twilight, he felt a pair of arms wrap round him. “I’m sorry.”
Trevor didn’t have the strength to shrug out of Gary’s embrace. “Why?”
Gary sighed. “Why’d I leave you, or why am I here now?”
Pausing, Trevor replied, “Both, I suppose.”
Trevor felt Gary’s head shake from side to side. “Leaving you was the hardest thing I’ve ever done. I knew you loved me unconditionally. And although you might not believe me, I loved you, too.”
Trevor noted Gary didn’t apply unconditionally to his statement.
“Part of me always wanted kids. You knew I was mainly straight.”
“You also used to tell me that that didn’t matter, you were with me.”
Gary started rubbing the sides of Trevor’s arms. Trevor remained facing away from him. It seemed easier to have this conversation whilst not looking at each other.
“I’m sorry. I really am. I regret leaving you more than you can know. But I can’t regret the life I made with Lisa. We really are happy.”
“Can’t be that happy if you came looking for a bit on the side from your ex-boyfriend. Did you ever tell Lisa about your less than heterosexual past?”
Gary didn’t answer.
Trevor turned to face him. “Did you? Or was I always going to remain your dirty, shameful secret?”
“Trev, don’t.”
“I think I deserve an answer. Though your unwillingness to give it speaks volumes.”
Gary sighed. “No, I’ve never told Lisa about me and you. I couldn’t.”
Trevor tried to summon up hatred for Gary. But looking at him, an older, slightly fatter version of the boy-man he’d fallen in love with, he couldn’t. Even though it had ended unhappily, Trevor wouldn’t swap the years of happiness the man had given him.
“It’s best I go. I shouldn’t have come. I’m sorry, I—”
The prospect of Gary leaving broke Trevor out of his lethargy. Without pausing to allow himself to change his mind, Trevor opened his arms, walked toward Gary and hugged him. Delivering a kiss to his lips, only the second they’d exchanged since he’d arrived, Trevor said, “Stay. Though I want you to call Lisa and tell her you’re safe.”
Gary looked confused.
“These past few years living by myself, then lately having Paul come stay, has shown me how fucking lonely I am. So, although I know it’s wrong on so many levels, I want you to hold me, kiss me and make love to me for as long as you can. Just for a while, I want—” Trevor felt the beginnings of tears. “I want to pretend that someone loves me. I want to pretend that I’m not a failure, unable to keep a man, or in Sam and Ollie’s case, men.
“Oh, Trevor, you’re not a failure. And I do love you. Very much. But you’re sure you want me to stay?”
Trevor shook his head. “I know what I’m asking is wrong, immoral, I’m helping you commit adultery, but—” the tears came then, “I don’t care. I just need you.”
Gary cupped Trevor’s face in his hands. “I’m sorry, sorry that you’re hurting, ‘cause, God knows, you deserve someone. Someone a hell of a lot better than me. I promise I’ll stick around for as long as I can. I’ll do everything to make our time together the best. God, Trev, I fucking love you.” Gary sealed his words with a kiss.
“Go on, make that phone call. I’ll be
waiting for you in my bedroom when you’ve finished.”
Gary kissed him again before letting him go.
* * * *
“You’re so beautiful.”
“I’m not. I—” Trevor told Gary about his recent operation and how it made him feel less of a man.
Gary, who had been making a fingertip exploration of Trevor’s stomach, began a trail of kisses down to his scrotum. Licking and gently biting the empty side of his sac, he said, “You’re still beautiful and perfect and still the same Trevor I’ve always loved.” Lifting his head to look directly into Trevor’s eyes, he continued, “Nothing has changed, Trev. Nothing.”
Trevor’s throat closed up, preventing him from speaking.
After he’d rung his wife, Trevor thankfully being too far away to overhear, Gary had poked his head round the bedroom door, a look of apprehension mixed with desire on his face. “Okay?”
Trevor had smiled. “Come in, love. Everything all right?” Trevor hadn’t wanted to speak Lisa’s name, he’d prefer it if he could block her completely out of his mind.
“Yeah. I told her I was staying with a friend while I was working in the area.” Gary had previously told Trevor that he was a sales rep for B&Q. The guy who normally serviced the area had fallen ill, and Gary had seized the opportunity to take over for a while.
Trevor had nodded. That was the convenient part, he had thought, of working as a sales rep—one always had a reason to be away from home—although, he thought it would have been sexier if Gary worked for B & O selling high-end audio equipment, rather than pushing home improvement hardware.
“Good. Now come here, beautiful.”
Gary had blushed and began to take off his clothes, but just before loosening the waistband of his trousers he had looked over at Trevor. “Uh, you sure about this?”
Trevor had nodded. He had been far from sure, but had decided he’d work through the moral consequences another time.
Once he’d undressed, Gary had got onto the bed. His shy lack of confidence had soon given way to his natural take charge attitude. “Come on, strip. I want you naked, too.”
Trevor hadn’t argued. Gary’s self-assuredness, his possessive protectiveness had always turned Trevor on.
“I’ll give you exactly two hours to stop that,” Trevor moaned in response to Gary’s feather-light touches.
Gary leaned forward and licked the tip of Trevor’s nose. “Love you.”
* * * *
Waking up the next morning, Trevor didn’t need any time to work out where he was, or more accurately, who was with him. He’d lost count of the number of times he’d dreamed about Gary, about the old days when his big blond buff angel was constantly by his side. Now, or rather for a little while, Gary was back. Trevor couldn’t stop the couple of tears that leaked out of his eyes.
“Hey,” a raspy voice announced before a soft pair of lips kissed away the moisture. “You okay?”
“More than you could know.” Trevor returned the kiss. “I love you.”
“Love you, too.”
After more kissing, Trevor began to feel a large hard object pressing into his leg.
“You do it for me, Beautiful. Get me going every time.”
Trevor melted at Gary using his old pet name for him.
Gary’s kisses moved lower. First he caressed Trevor’s neck, then across to his shoulders.
Trevor whimpered.
Lifting his head, Gary said, “I’m gonna treat you like a king for the next few weeks. I’m gonna make sure you never forget how special you are.”
Gary’s mouth fastened itself on Trevor’s left nipple. It had always been more sensitive than his right. Gary hadn’t forgotten.
Trevor ran his fingers through his lover’s hair, maybe a little thinner than he remembered, though tinged with white, it was still as soft and glossy as ever. “Special. Love you.” Trevor knew he wasn’t making much sense, but he didn’t care.
Gary began to lick out Trevor’s navel.
Trevor’s hands stroked across Gary’s shoulders. “God, you’ve always had awesome shoulders. Wide…strong…powerful.”
Although they’d done little more than give one another hand jobs the night before—Gary intuitively realising Trevor would have been uncomfortable with anything more—with the morning sun streaming through the parted curtains, Gary went down on Trevor’s penis.
“Oh.” Trevor almost sat up in the bed. It had been too long since he’d known anything other than his own hand down there.
Separating himself from his duties momentarily, Gary rose up and smiled at Trevor. “Let me love you.
Gary didn’t wait for a response; in truth Trevor wasn’t capable of verbalising one. Before Trevor could draw breath, Gary had gone down on him again, swallowing him to the root.
“Oh, fuck.”
Was Gary laughing? It was difficult to tell with a cock in his mouth. Whatever he was doing, felt fantastic, sending Trevor ever closer to climax.
Then, just when he was about to be launched into orbit, the bastard pulled off.
“Not yet.”
Trevor’s inarticulate protests were mollified when Gary began laving at his ball.
While all this was going on, Trevor patted and stroked the parts of Gary he could reach. His hands roved over strong muscles. Evidently Gary still looked after himself.
Trevor’s caresses were temporarily halted when Gary started giving his scrotum a tongue bath. Gary didn’t mind he was no longer whole. He’d said so, he’d said he was still the same.
“All for you, Beautiful,” Gary mumbled from between Trevor’s legs.
The rasp of stubble from Gary’s cheeks—he’d had to shave daily since his early teens—ramped up Trevor’s passion, making him moan incoherently. However, everything seemed to change when Gary had snuffled and licked his way to Trevor’s anus. It didn’t feel right.
“No, stop.”
Gary didn’t seem to hear and carried on. Even though Trevor’s body was still reacting to the awesome sensations, his mind had other ideas. Lifting his legs high, which momentarily gave Gary better access, Trevor rolled away.
“No, I don’t want that. It’s…it’s too…too much. I’m sorry, love.”
Gary hid his disappointment well. “If you’re sure.”
Trevor lay down next to Gary and cupped his face in his hands. “I’m sorry, I can’t let you—”
He tried to find the words to explain. He knew his rule was irrational. He’d already crossed any number of moral boundaries, but that one was one he felt he couldn’t allow to be breeched given that Gary was married.
“It’s all right. I understand.”
“Thanks. I know it doesn’t make any sense.”
Gary kissed him. “It’s okay. I really do understand.” Gary looked down and saw their cocks were lined up, almost touching. “Wanna try a double wank?”
Trevor grinned. “Okay.” He reached down to take hold of both members.
“Uh, no. This is still my show.”
Trevor smiled and let go. The warm feelings of security and love began to flow again as Gary resumed his natural role of being in charge.
* * * *
“You sure it’s all right? You should be working.”
“Stop fussing, it’s fine.”
Trevor, having plenty of holidays owing to him, decided to accompany Gary on some of his visits. Except Gary was more interested in long walks in wooded areas where they couldn’t be seen, than actually visiting potential clients.
“Bloody hot.” Gary loosened his tie.
“Yeah,” Trevor said, grinning at his friend, then licking his lips seductively.
“You’ve got a one track mind.”
“Ha. That’s rich.”
Gary spun Trevor round to face him and laid a wet kiss on his lips. “But true.” Tracing a finger along Trevor’s cheek, Gary smiled. “You’re so beautiful.”
Trevor was about to protest, but Gary put a finger to his lips.
&
nbsp; “I was wrong all those years ago. I should have stuck with you.”
“Don’t, Gar.”
Trevor experienced an uncomfortable mixture of sadness, envy and resentment whenever Gary began reminiscing about what might have been. Gary had made his choice, and they both had to live with it.
“Sorry.”
They joined hands and continued their walk along the dirt path that wound its way through the woods, twigs snapping under their feet, birds singing in the trees, dappled sunlight filtering through the leaves. Trevor felt a deep down contentment. The past few weeks with Gary had been heaven. Although they’d not spent every moment together due to Gary having to work, Gary had made those they had shared count.
A wasp momentarily distracted Trevor, who fended it away with a hand. Fortunately the insect decided to fly off rather than attack. “Hate wasps. There’s no point to them.”
“Don’t they eat greenfly and stuff like that?”
“Suppose.”
It was too warm to hold a discussion about horticulture and natural pest control.
They emerged from semi-darkness into a grassed clearing. Gary pulled Trevor toward a fallen tree trunk. “Want to sit a spell?”
“What, you not as fit as you used to be?”
Gary seemed to think about it for a few moments. “Suppose.”
“I was thinking about you and the school cricket team the other week.” Trevor went on to explain about his own brush with the noble game.
“You?”
“What, you think I can’t do it?”
Gary kissed him before sitting on the fallen log, opening his legs and gesturing to Trevor to sit on the ground between his knees.
“I’m sure you were great. It’s just I could never get you to play when we were kids.”
“Yeah.” Trevor settled himself and leaned against the comforting bulk of Gary’s chest. “They didn’t have anyone else, and Paul asked me, and—”
“You fancy this Paul guy, then?”
“He’s straight,” Trevor answered quickly. Too quickly.
“That doesn’t answer my question.”
Trevor didn’t reply, even though he knew he could tell Gary anything. Stretching his neck upward, Trevor looked at the sky. It was so blue, not a single cloud in sight. Lying there in the safe cocooning protection of Gary’s body, he answered Gary’s question about fancying Paul. “Not as much as you.”
