by Drew Hunt
“Thanks. You always did believe in me, even when I didn’t myself. Shit! I wish I could turn back the clock and…”
“I know. If I hadn’t frozen you out, you’d have come to see me and you’d have told me you weren’t responsible for the attack.”
“We really managed to screw it up between us, didn’t we?”
The two stopped talking and looked at one another. Mason was trying to get his head round all the new information he’d been given.
“How did you manage to get me a scholarship?” Parker asked, bringing Mason back to the present. “I mean I thought I’d explored all the options, except for playing football all through college.”
“Dad seemed to be on every fucking committee at the university, we hardly ever saw him in the evenings. I found out that one of these committees decided on discretionary full-ride scholarships.”
“Wow. I never even heard of such things.”
“I only knew about them ‘cause I happened to see something Dad left on his desk at home once. I bugged Dad until he agreed to put your name in. The news you’d been successful arrived just a couple of days before our anniversary .”
“Oh, Mase. You’d done all that for me? Why didn’t you tell me that you’d applied? Sorry, guess it doesn’t matter now.”
“I didn’t tell you in case it didn’t come through, I knew you’d be bummed about it.”
“Shit. I never deserved you.”
“I loved you, Parker, plain and simple.”
“Fuck, fuck, fuck!” Parker covered his face with his hands. “I’m so…sorry just isn’t enough. If only, oh, fuck—if only I hadn’t lashed out. We could have lived together, studied together.”
“Parker,” Mason said softly.
Parker didn’t reply.
“Parker, please,” Mason said louder.
Parker raised his head.
“Come here,” Mason opened his arms. Parker all but fell into the embrace. Mason closed his arms around the long remembered frame of his former lover. It felt incredibly comfortable, hugging Parker again.
“I’m sorry, Mase. I’m just so sorry. I fucked everything up. Oh, God I want to die for all the pain, the hurt I’ve caused you, caused us.”
“Hush.” Mason rubbed Parker’s spine, he could feel the bigger man shaking. “You can’t blame yourself for it all. Remember I’m partially to blame, too.”
“Not for the attack.”
“No, but you’re not to blame for that either.”
“But if I hadn’t…”
“But nothing. Did you tell those guys on the team to beat me up?”
“NO, never! You must believe me.”
“I do. I’m just trying to point out that it’s not all your fault. You didn’t tell Todd, Jared, and the others to go after me.”
Parker’s head shot up. “Todd and Jared? I’ll—”
“Shit! You won’t do anything, do you hear me?”
“But…”
“No. Getting back to what I was saying, very little of it was your fault. You weren’t involved in me being hurt.” Cupping Parker’s face in his hands, Mason said, “I forgive you, Parker Collins.”
“I don’t deserve to be forgiven.”
Pulling Parker back into his chest, Mason gave him a tight squeeze. He’d been lucky enough to have a supportive family around him. They’d helped him to come to terms with things. He guessed Parker hadn’t had the benefit of a support network. He’d had to go it alone, all the while adding more and more troubles to the fire. Mason shuddered at the thought of Parker trying to walk the straight and narrow path without anyone to lean on.
Eventually disengaging, Parker said, “I’d forgotten what a great cuddler you were.”
Mason wasn’t ready to tell him he’d missed holding his big frame for the past thirteen years, too.
* * * *
The guys received an update from the maintenance man when he told them an engineer from the elevator company was expected to arrive within the hour.
Mason was thankful the atmosphere inside the elevator had calmed significantly. Although there were long silences, they didn’t seem uncomfortable. One or the other would speak up, recalling some of the highpoints of the time they’d spent together as teenagers. Neither felt the need to dredge up any of the less pleasant aspects of their friendship.
“Do you remember Lorraine Little?” Mason asked at one point.
“Uh, no, don’t think so.”
“Yes, you do. You dated her for a while. Tall. Straight black hair.”
“Oh, yeah. She was your date when we, uh…”
Mason smiled, “It’s okay.” Mason didn’t want to bring up the disastrous double-date episode, either. “She had figured us out, you know.”
“Huh?”
“She’d worked out that we were boyfriends.”
“Really?”
“Maybe you really have changed. If the old Parker had been told that piece of news, he’d have been climbing the walls right about now.”
Parker sighed. “You’re right. Is that why you didn’t tell me about it back then?”
“Uh huh.”
The elevator car fell quiet again.
“Does your family still own that cabin by the lake?”
“Yeah.”
“Man, that place.” Parker sounded wistful. “I so wish I’d not cancelled that weekend and—”
“Don’t.”
“First place we ever made love.”
“I know.” It was still one of Mason’s most precious memories.
“I’ve heard they’re making a movie about two cowboys who meet on a mountain and fall in love.”
“Yeah, I read the book last year.”
“Me, too. I couldn’t help thinking of us when I read it. Ennis, not realizing he had the chance of something real special.” Parker hung his head. “Remind you of anyone?”
Mason didn’t comment. He’d had the same thoughts when he’d read the book, too. Ennis’s inability to reconcile what he felt with what society demanded, had more than a few parallels with how Parker couldn’t express his love for Mason.
After a few moments, Mason asked, “When it comes out in the movie theaters, would you like to go see it with me? I don’t think I could watch something like that on my own.”
“Really? Wow. Yes. Thank you. I wasn’t looking forward to seeing it by myself either.”
All the talk about the movie and his parents’ cabin in the Cascade Mountains set Mason’s mind wandering. The more he thought about it, the more he wished for it to happen.
“Uh, I was planning on going up to the cabin this weekend. Mom and Dad rarely go up there these days. After the attack, they had ramps and things put in to make the place accessible for me.”
“That’s good.”
“Look, um,” Mason was hesitant, “If you want, and if you’ve not got anything else scheduled, uh, would you think about maybe going up there with me?”
Parker’s face was a study in changing emotions. Shock, disbelief, joy, but ultimately his expression turned to sadness. “I can’t. It’d, well, it won’t be right.”
“It’s okay. Probably it was a bad idea.” He sighed. “I shouldn’t have mentioned it. You’ll have something planned with your kids or a boyfriend I expect.”
Parker laughed, though it was without mirth. “I’m only allowed supervised visits with the kids twice a month.” Staring into Mason’s eyes, Parker said, “And you were the only man I could ever attach the term boyfriend to.”
“Huh?”
“Mase, you were it for me. No one ever compared or came close.”
“Oh, uh.” Mason couldn’t help but feel a small thrill of pleasure at knowing that Parker had never loved another man.
“What about you?”
“How’d you mean?”
“Boyfriends. I mean surely there are lots of cute male nurses and…”
Mason shook his head. “Although things kinda still work down there,” Mason waved in the genera
l direction of his crotch, “I don’t…haven’t. Let’s just say the last person I truly made love to was you.”
“I don’t know how you could want to invite me back to the cabin after what I’ve done to you, I mean I…”
Mason shook his head. “Didn’t I tell you earlier that I don’t blame you for any of that?”
“But that doesn’t stop me from blaming myself.”
Mason let out a long breath. “As you know I’m an infectious disease specialist and you are supposed to be my patient. But, and don’t take this the wrong way, I can’t be your doctor. We’re too close, there’s too much history between us to maintain a proper doctor-patient relationship.”
“I guess.”
“What I’m getting at is I can’t be your doctor, but…Oh, I don’t know. I could be someone, a friend, who could help you deal with all these unresolved issues.”
“I don’t know.”
“You need someone to talk it out with. Trust me, I’m a doctor,” Mason grinned.
Parker smiled. “But, uh, wouldn’t you be too close to it all?”
“Probably. But I know you. You wouldn’t be able to really open up to anyone you didn’t know, didn’t trust.”
Parker nodded.
“Does that mean yes?”
Parker treated Mason to the ghost of a smile. “Persistent aren’t you?”
“Yup. And maybe the best place to start your, our, healing would be the cabin.”
Parker’s smile increased. “Okay. Thank you. Though, uh, I think we oughta take things, uh, slow.”
Mason looked down at his withered legs and felt a wave of sadness wash over him.
“No, Mase, no. I don’t mean cause you’re disabled.” Parker took Mason’s hand and gave it a squeeze.
“Thanks. I understand. The cabin has more than one bedroom, if we need them.”
Parker nodded.
* * * *
“Hey, guys?” The voice of the maintenance man echoed down the elevator shaft.
“Yeah?” Mason said.
“I’ve got Terry with me, from the elevator company.”
“Hi there fellas,” a new voice drawled. “Y’all okay down there?”
“Yes, we’re okay, but could you get us out?”
“Shore ‘nuff. I’ll have ya outta there ‘fore ya know it.”
“Christ, that’s all we need, a fucking straw-chewing red-neck cowboy,.” Parker said softly.
Mason snickered. “I don’t know, cowboys can be kinda hot. Remember the cowboy costume you rented for the Homecoming carnival?”
“I seem to remember you took a real liking to me in that. It was embarrassing having to take the stained costume back to the rental shop, though.”
Mason laughed out loud.
It wasn’t long before the car began to moan and shake slightly.
“Just lowerin’ y’all down, fellas. No need to git spooked.”
“Is he for real?”
“Sure is, pardner.” Mason couldn’t help himself. He was euphoric at knowing he’d soon be free. Despite part of him wishing for more time with Parker, Mason needed to get out of the elevator. He felt excited that he and Parker had the chance of re-establishing some kind of friendship.
They heard a loud clang from above, before Terry said, “Sumbitch!”
Mason and Parker exchanged glances. Mason hoped there wouldn’t be too much more of a delay.
“Uh, fellas, I’ve lowered the car a good six feet, but it’s jammed. It don’t seem to wanna go up nor down now.”
“Jesus,” Parker muttered.
“Y’all just hang in there.”
Parker looked at Mason, who looked back at him. They both snickered.
“I’ll come down to the other side of the doors on yer floor. We might be able to get you out anyway.”
The two waited until Terry knocked on the metal doors. “Okay, fellas, let’s see what happens.”
The doors slid open. Mason saw the ceiling from the upper floor.
“Ah, not too bad, but there’s a mighty big step down,” Terry drawled. He was a thin man, standing just over six feet tall. Mason was rather disappointed he wasn’t wearing a cowboy hat, nor indeed chewing on a piece of straw. However, all wasn’t lost, for under his grey overalls he wore a gingham western shirt, open at the neck, revealing an ample carpet of chest hair. Terry also had on a pair of dun-colored cowboy boots.
“Oh, sorry, friend, I didn’t know that ya was an invalid,” Terry said, seeing Mason. “Uh, guess I could carry you out if’n someone’ll git ya chair.”
“No, it’s all right,” Parker said, taking charge. Turning to Mason, he asked “May I carry you?”
“Uh, yeah, guess so.” Mason wasn’t sure, but thinking about it, if he had to suffer the indignity of being carried, he’d sooner Parker do it.
“Uh, how’s the best way to go about this? The last thing I want to do is to hurt you.”
Parker’s deep concern touched Mason. “If you lean down over me, I’ll wrap my right arm around your neck. Then if you work your right arm under my knees and support my back with your left arm, you can lift me out.”
“Okay.”
Parker did as directed, taking infinite care.
“You’re so light,” Parker said once Mason was lifted up.
“The lower half of my body has lost almost all its muscle mass.”
As Parker carried him to the edge of the elevator he lost the battle with his emotions. “ Mase. I…”
Mason saw tears rolling down Parker’s cheeks.
“What happened to you, it’s not right. It’s so fucking not right.”
Their faces moved closer. Parker halted before their lips could touch. Mason closed the distance. For the first time in thirteen years, three months, and eleven days, Mason shared a kiss with the man he loved.
THE END
ABOUT DREW HUNT
Having read all the decent free fiction on the net Drew could find, he set out to try his hand at writing something himself. Fed up reading about characters who were super-wealthy, impossibly handsome, and incredibly well-endowed, Drew determined to make his characters real and believable.
Drew lives a quiet life in the north of England with his cat. Someday he hopes to meet the kind of man he writes about.
For more information, visit drew-hunt.co.uk.
ABOUT JMS BOOKS LLC
JMS Books LLC is a small queer press with competitive royalty rates publishing LGBT romance, erotic romance, and young adult fiction. Visit jms-books.com for our latest releases and submission guidelines!
