by Ophelia Bell
“I was no better,” Aurum said. “In fact, if I recall, Gavra often liked to lecture me on my lack of self-restraint. Brother, you are an inspiration. Never change.”
Their banter waned as their energies depleted. As the sun set, they severed their connection in good spirits. That they could see the bright pinks and purples of the sky tonight was a good omen. They were close to completing their task. With any luck, they would be finished by the time Assana arrived at the Windchaser clan lodge on her hunt for more ursa males to take back to the Haven.
More importantly, Aurum hoped Assana would have an answer for her about what to make of her dreams and her feelings for Nicholas.
* * *
The males in the Windchaser clan were already energized with anticipation of the nymph’s arrival. Being the last clan on her list meant word of her search had been making the circuit for more than a week before she actually showed her face. The unpaired males were the most excited, being less likely to secure an ursa female without a partner and eager to test their luck with the nymphs.
Aurum watched with amusement as Nicholas fielded dozens of questions about whether he’d sign up to go to the Haven and find himself a nymph mate. While he and Aurum spent most of their days and nights together, somehow their relationship hadn’t seemed to register with the other ursa as anything significant.
When Assana arrived and the call went out for all unmarked males who wished to participate, Aurum realized why Nicholas had been included in those queries. It didn’t matter to the ursa that Nicholas possessed a strong magical bond to anyone else. He wasn’t physically marked in the ursa tradition, and so to their eyes, he was as good as single.
He is single, she reminded herself. At least, unless Assana told her otherwise. His bond to Calder wasn’t recognized by the nymphaea, and she had never marked him as her own mate.
The great hall was filled with males, and Aurum joined Solina and Keith at the head table while Assana made her speech. Nicholas sat beside her.
“You should consider going,” Aurum said.
“Why? You are here. I believe Calder should be the one to come to us, for one thing. And there’s no way I’m going into the Haven until they let you in, anyway.”
She bristled at his continued assertion that they belonged together, in spite of her argument to the contrary. But didn’t she want that? Why did it upset her so much whenever he said those things?
“If I found a way in now, would you come with me?”
Nicholas tensed, then turned to her. “Is this a hypothetical, or have you actually found a way in?”
“Answer the question. Despite believing Calder should meet us halfway, if we could go in together, would you go with me?”
He turned to stare out at the enraptured crowd of male ursa avidly listening to Assana’s instructions. Over the next few days, she would undertake a series of interviews with all the candidates, and then on the fourth day, announce the ones she accepted. When the interviews were complete, they would all travel to the Source at the center of the Sanctuary—or Gaia’s Falls, as the ursa referred to it—where they would meet the candidates from the other clans and all enter the Haven together.
“I don’t see how it’s possible,” he finally said. “You heard how tight security is up there, and there’s no other way in without taking advantage of some serious primal magic that we don’t have access to. Anyone who tries to gain access without explicit approval from both the Dionarchs and the Queen will be arrested and expected to stand trial for treason. If we both do it and get caught …” He rubbed his beard and gave her a weary look. “I owe it to my sister to not start a war. Whatever you’re thinking, please don’t.”
She opened her mouth to protest, then closed it and turned away, chastened by his plea. She’d been about to object to the idea that she’d risk the ursa’s alliance with the nymphaea, but Nicholas was right. What she had in mind would definitely do that, if she got caught. But with Assana’s offered help, and both Assana and Calder on their side, she hoped that would keep the risk of treason to a minimum. Fate’s decree had to count for something, didn’t it?
Still, she refrained from making the suggestion to Nicholas again. Two days later, the barrier’s stability reached full balance. All she had to do next was wait for the right time.
She and Nicholas parted ways when they returned to the lodge early that afternoon. Nicholas said something about Solina’s extended family arriving and hoping to spend time with him, and Nicholas wanted to take advantage of the daylight to scour through the books in the Windchaser lodge library.
Aurum made her way to the Windchaser shaman’s quarters, hoping she’d find Solina there at this odd hour. Voices drifted through the door, and after a pause, she knocked. Upon entry, she saw Assana and the white-haired shaman sitting out on an open balcony, enjoying the late afternoon sun.
Assana was flushed with heat, and a quick inspection of her aura told Aurum that it wasn’t the sunlight that caused it. Assana’s libido was a livewire, her sexuality as potent as a Red dragon’s aura. It was a wonder the woman hadn’t incited orgies all over the Sanctuary. She clearly possessed powerful magic helping her hold it in check.
“I was hoping to see you before I left,” Assana said, her eyes lighting up when she saw Aurum walk in. “I’d like to talk privately, if you have time.”
“I came to speak with Sol, actually,” Aurum said, anxious to give the shaman her news, but knowing she was secretly postponing whatever information Assana had to share.
“No need, girl,” Solina said, rising from her seat and coming to pat Aurum on the arm. “It’s as clear as the sun that you’ve done your job here. I’ve other work to do, so feel free to make yourself at home and enjoy the fruits of your labor. You’ve earned a rest.”
Aurum watched the other woman go, then turned back to smile at Assana. In the sunlight, she caught a glimpse of Assana’s profile and was acutely reminded of Calder’s face the day they’d first met. The only day she’d actually seen him in the flesh and not in her dreams.
Calder’s meaning to her life wasn’t in question, though. Assana knew as well as she did that Aurum and her brother belonged together, despite Nyx’s efforts to railroad Calder into mating a nymph.
“You’re even stronger at restraining yourself than my brother is,” Aurum said, patting Assana on the shoulder and taking the seat Solina had vacated.
Assana’s aura brightened. “Do you mean your red brother, Gavra? I think he and I understand each other. There is an order to things that’s difficult to see from within, but it’s still possible to get a sense of it. I know how important it is for my brother to be reunited with you. There is power in love, regardless of whatever vow he made and is being forced to keep. You do know that is why he left you, right?”
Aurum shook her head. “We didn’t exactly have time for a conversation before he left.”
“You are aware that the satyrs are all but extinct. There are only two males of our race left in the Haven. Mother seems to believe the other satyrs are lost to us. My brother and I know differently. The Ultiori have the other males—what’s left of them—held captive somewhere. Calder made a vow to find them, and to punish the corrupted nymph who took them from us. He swore he would not take a mate until his mission is done. Mother’s wish for him to mate a nymph is a complication, but your desire to come to him is another complication.”
“Are you saying I should stay away until he’s done chasing Meri down? Does he realize he’ll have to get in line for that?”
Assana’s lips cracked into a vicious grin. “We are sisters at heart. I want nothing more than to gut the bitch myself. She’s wronged more than one of us. And I’m definitely not advocating you stay away. I wouldn’t have made the suggestion that you come in disguise if I believed that. My brother wants you. He just hasn’t found a way to have you without breaking his vow. But the way I
see it, he won’t find the solution until he has no other choice. You have to come.
“My other hope is that once you’re there, you can help us convince our mother to relax her restrictions on access to the Haven—in and out. Hundreds of nymphs want to be able to help fight this war. We want it more than we want to find mates and have babies. This mating exchange was just a way for us all to help prove to my mother that we can safely allow traffic between our worlds. If she sees that a dragon can come in …”
Aurum smiled at the faraway look Assana got. “If she sees me come in and accepts my presence, she’s more likely to agree to allowing my brother in, too.”
Assana smiled and nodded. “It isn’t just for me, though. My uncle won’t admit to it, but Calder and I know his lack of power now is due to grief over the falling out he had with Aodh. It seems our families are inextricably connected, so I believe we have a vested interest in helping each other.”
She stood up and leaned back on the balcony railing, facing Aurum. “Getting you inside is important, but I understand if you’re hesitant to leave Nicholas behind. He’s important to you …” She pressed her lips together, and Aurum’s stomach lurched. This was the moment of truth.
“He is …” she said cautiously. “Should he come with me, or is there another …?”
Assana winced. “The connection you two share is complicated. You said you dreamed of an ursa and you want to know whether Nicholas is that ursa … well, he might be.”
Aurum blinked up at her. “Might be? What am I supposed to do with that?”
Assana held up her hand. “Hang on. I just mean that he has the potential to be that ursa … he just … well, he isn’t. Yet. When I connect to the River and search for Nicholas, what I see are the untested, amorphous shapes that represent a newborn baby. Even though he’s fully grown, it’s like he didn’t truly exist until he was released from that prison. He hasn’t become who he is meant to be, and so right now, his future is vague.”
“So he might not be the ursa from my dreams,” Aurum said, suddenly wishing she could go back to being completely oblivious.
“I didn’t say that,” Assana said. “If you want him enough, I see no reason he can’t become that ursa, but only if he also wants it enough. Desire can be a pretty strong catalyst to realizing one’s full potential. But you can’t force it. Give him the right incentive and see what happens. When he becomes what he is meant to be, I imagine you’ll know.”
Aurum closed her eyes and nodded, struggling to absorb everything the nymph had said. Were her own goals enough incentive to push Nicholas to realizing his potential? Would her love be enough?
“Thank you,” she said.
Assana nodded and squeezed her shoulder as she left. “We’ll be leaving for the Haven tomorrow at midday. Come to me before then with the name of your ursa. I’ll make sure you are added to the list. Nicholas will need to come to me in person, if he intends to join us. For security purposes, there are several witnesses observing the interviews and the signups. No one can come in without completing both stages. The last round of interviews are in the morning, so you both should be there if you intend to come.”
* * *
That night, Aurum agonized over telling Nicholas her plan. She understood his hesitance to jeopardize the fragile arrangement the ursa had with the nymphaea. What had been a long unspoken agreement to leave each other alone had shifted into something more complicated. They had always needed each other the way the dragons and the turul coexisted. The dragons needed the wind to survive, and the turul controlled the wind in much the way the nymphaea controlled Gaia’s waters that the ursa relied on.
But something had to give. Coexisting was no longer enough. The alliances they’d had all along were impersonal, too formal. It was heartening to see the ursa begin to form a stronger bond with the nymphaea by agreeing to their mating pact, but that wouldn’t be enough. She had to get into the Haven, not just to be with Calder, but to prove to the Dionarchs that the dragons needed to be heard, as well. They needed a much stronger bond among all four races if they were going to stand and present a unified front against their enemy, and now was the time to do it while the Ultiori were attempting to regroup.
Unable to sleep for all the thoughts churning through her mind, she shook Nicholas by the shoulder.
“Are you asleep?” she whispered.
Rather than answer, he turned to face her and curled his large body around hers, pulling her into the circle of his arms and nuzzling her neck. “I couldn’t for how loudly you were trying to come up with ways to leave me,” he grumbled.
“Oh, Nicholas. I wouldn’t leave you if you agreed to come with me.”
“You don’t even believe I belong with you, even though I’m almost positive you’re full of shit about that. I’m willing to keep trying to prove it to you, though.”
His scruffy chin brushed over her bare collarbone and his lips found her sternum. His tongue darted out, tracing a wet line down the center of her chest. Aurum moaned when he shifted over and captured one nipple.
She reveled in the hot, smooth slide of his body as he moved to settle between her thighs, his erection pressing into her core while he continued to focus on her breasts. She tilted her hips up, aching for deeper contact, and he wordlessly complied, pulling his hips back and using one hand to aim the tip of his cock at her slick opening.
“Prove that you believe it,” she said after regaining the breath lost from his sudden penetration and slow, deliberate thrusts. “Come with me.”
“Stay,” he said. “If he loves you, he’ll come. Stay and be a part of my family. They already love you. I already love you.”
She let out an anguished cry that was half from pleasure and half from the emotional turmoil of hearing those words. If he wouldn’t agree to come, she might lose him forever, but if she didn’t push him, what if he never became the man from her dreams?
He was so close, joined to her like this in the dark. His forest-green scent and the flood of fertile energy that filled her when he infused her with his Nirvana was almost the same as what she felt in dreams.
They lay tangled in the sheets afterward, a summer breeze blowing in their open windows and cooling the heat of their lovemaking. His white curls tickled her cheek where his head rested on her shoulder.
“You just have to do the interview with Assana in the morning. At least do that much so you’re free to go in when the others do.”
“Do I want to know how you’re planning to get in?”
“The same way as all the others,” she said, gazing down into his upturned face. He had resumed his position curled around her body, his legs tangled with hers and one arm solidly holding onto her as though for dear life. His face glowed faintly from within, a side effect of having been imbued with her power. The afterglow extended to his eyes, making his strange irises look greener than they had before, though it was still the pale, sun-starved color of a new seedling.
He frowned and hugged her tighter, resting his cheek on her breast again. “I’m not ready to leave my family yet, now that I’ve just found them. Please don’t make me choose.”
“That’s what this is about? Zhrihiva, you don’t have to choose. You can have both. Please come with me and I will prove it to you.”
Nicholas let out a frustrated growl and sat up, turning to rest back on his haunches and face her.
“Tell me you believe I’m yours and I’ll come.”
She gaped at him for a second, trying to find the right words that weren’t outright lies. She still wasn’t sure.
“You can’t, can you? What the fuck is holding you back, Sunshine? Is this not enough proof? And this?” He gestured between them, then pointed at the golden glow his skin was giving off. “You’re coming out of my fucking pores, that’s how deep you are in me. How is this not enough for you? Fuck your goddamn dreams, fuck your auras. You’re
just blind to the truth that’s staring you in the face. Go, if you want. Be with that bastard who abandoned us both. I’m not going to follow you if you won’t even consider staying.”
With that, he hopped off the bed and stalked out the door, leaving it swinging open behind him.
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Aurum
Aurum looked for Nicholas the next morning at breakfast, but saw no sign of him. Nausea and giddy anxiety had her out of sorts all morning. She couldn’t wait for him, not when this might be her only chance to get into the Haven. She also didn’t believe for one second that he really felt that way about Calder. All she’d sensed in him when he left their room the night before was desperation and hurt, but not anger or animosity toward either her or Calder.
When Assana passed by her seat at the breakfast table, they exchanged a private look and Assana raised a brow in a silent question. With a shaky smile, Aurum nodded. She would be there. Nicholas would have to make a decision one way or the other, and she hoped he would choose to join her, but it was out of her hands now.
After breakfast, she made a somewhat public announcement that she intended to take a walk to enjoy the recent return of the summer weather. Out alone in the forest, she made herself take deep breaths and relax, though her mind was in turmoil over the contradicting joy and dread of what she was about to embark on.
Once she was far enough away from the Windchaser lodge, she found a secluded copse of laurels growing adjacent to an outcropping of rock and moved behind it. Drawing on the power stored deep in her well, she imagined the male shape she’d shown Assana back at the Stonetree lodge. Ignoring the churning in her belly, she let out a long exhale and then breathed in deeply, commanding the magic yet again to transform her human body into a different shape than the one she’d accustomed herself to for thousands of years.
