by Haywood, RR
‘Instead of what?’ Lisa asks.
‘Instead of doing what we were brought here to do,’ Anne says.
‘I thought we were brought here to help them understand the virus,’ Lisa says with an edge to her already bitter voice and a glance at Andrew and Heathcliff.
‘We’re doctors,’ Anne says, addressing the other three, ‘Not scientists. Not virologists. Not haematologists. Medical doctors. We should stick to what we know. Bloody hell, Lisa. We injected blood from one patient into another! An old man lying on a patch of ground with a gun pointing at his head. Where’s the science in that? We knew nothing of either patient’s history or medical background…’
‘Research has to start somewhere,’ Heathcliff says defensively.
‘No,’ Anne says, shaking her head and folding her arms in an effort to telegraph her firm belief, ‘Besides…’
‘The old man survived didn’t he?’ Lisa says.
‘He did,’ Anne concedes, ‘So on that basis we can simply take blood from Lani, Howie and the others that show immunity and inject it into anyone that feels sick or poorly. Is that right? We’ve got a hospital full of seriously injured people,’ she says sweeping her arm round the cramped room, ‘why don’t we start now? Go on. Someone go and ask Howie to come and bleed all over our patients.’
‘Anne,’ Andrew says with a sigh and a tired hand rubbing his tired face.
‘No, Andrew. That is exactly what we did with Lani and that old man and on the basis, as Lisa put it, that he survived, then surely we have irrefutable scientific fact that everyone here will miraculously heal.’
‘We’re not saying that,’ Andrew says tightly.
‘No? What about this woman with third degree burns to her scalp? Surely we can try her can’t we? Lilly, go find a gun to point at her head while we drip blood down her throat.’
‘Anne…’ Andrew’s voice rises as the point she is making strikes home.
‘Ah I know,’ Anne says with malicious delight, ‘Lisa, you’ve got a broken nose and no doubt a thumping headache and probably some concussion going on…’
‘Stop,’ Lisa says quietly.
‘Put yourself as the next test subject in our scientific study. See if it takes the pain away or makes your nose get better.’
‘Anne, stop it. Please just…’
‘Why not, Lisa? You were more than happy to sacrifice the life of an old man. You’re injured now. Or we can use Heathcliff. How about it Doctor Stone?’ Anne says, staring hard at Heathcliff.
‘Good God, Anne! Let it rest. We’re all tired and this is not the time…’ Andrew cuts in.
‘Then look at yourselves,’ Anne says firmly, ‘Look at what you did. You took a young woman and tazered her when she wasn’t willing to do as you wanted. The fact that she was electrocuted may have been the action that made her bloody snap! Have you thought about that? The shock and disorientation of being forcibly separated from her group? That she was isolated. Sick. Alone. Shocked? Have you any of you considered for one second that by playing God you caused this?’
Lilly watches the other three go to reply but something in the words spoken by Anne and the firm tone of the doctor make them stop. One by one they absorb the implication and the defiance starts to slip. A night of hell, of watching children die one after the other and dumping their small bodies on the floor to be dragged away and just the suggestion that they played a part in what made that happen is enough to sap the already dwindling energy from all of them.
Anne sees it too but there is no gloating from the sudden victory of the argument. She doesn’t look smug or satisfied but as tired and exhausted as everyone else. Silence descends. An uneasy reflection on the actions they have taken. Lilly can see how it happened too. Hospitals have protocols. Everything has protocols with fail safes built into processes so that if one person makes a poor decision others will stop and rectify it. Everyone is accountable for their actions, or rather they were accountable. Now there are no processes. No fail safes. Three medical doctors decided to do something, so they did. They believed they were right and sought justification from each other. The fact that one of them did not agree did not stop them. They did it anyway.
Maddox chose a course of action but there was nobody to oppose him either or tell him he was doing the wrong thing. Or did he do the wrong thing? Lani did turn. Does that mean Maddox was right? If Lani had stayed in the hospital would any of this happened?
Easing away from the doctors, Lilly folds her arms and walks slowly down the main aisle to the door with too many strands of thought whirling round her head with each one of them screaming to be taken as the most important.
That’s not our way. Nick’s words float through the confusing fug. We have to do the right thing. Maddox thought he was doing the right thing but Howie would have done the right thing. Paula, Clarence and the others would soon tell him if they thought he was wrong. That’s it. That’s why they work so well, because of the collective experience and Howie’s respect for that experience and knowledge coupled with an ability to make sound decisions under pressure. Find Howie. He can’t leave. He has to stay and get this place safe.
As the decision is made so she steps through the door into the world shifting from night to day and a sky already lifting with the first rays of the sun highlighting the mess inside the fort. The ground runs sodden and filthy with blackened water. The fires now extinguished but with wet heat hanging in the still air. She looks over to the old armoury and the gaping hole in the wall. Even from here she can see through to the sea on the other side.
She looks round, sweeping her eyes along the perimeter to the new armoury, searching for Clarence’s bulk to use as an identifying marker for where the group are. She’s tired. Her eyes sting so she closes them for a few seconds and tries again. The first thing she sees are the bodies dragged from the hospital stacked on the ground. People walking slowly along the edges of the ruined mess of burnt tents in the middle. Her eyes scan each person, each group, each section and the first seed of worry starts to sow. She can’t see Clarence. No Paula and Roy. She can’t see the lads or Nick anywhere. No Howie and Dave.
She moves off, heading for the police offices and constantly blinking then rubbing her eyes. Movement at the main gate and she turns to see Maddox walking back in. He spots her and inclines his head. She stops and waits as the realisation dawns. Maddox is coming back inside which means he went outside. The only reason he would go outside is if someone was arriving or leaving.
She looks round again and this time sees the doors to the new armoury are wide open and the gap inside tells her some of the cases have been taken.
‘Lilly,’ Maddox says, getting closer and seeing the almost frantic look on her face
Her heart sinks, her stomach flips.
‘They’ve gone,’ Maddox says, coming to a stop just feet from her.
‘I know,’ Lilly replies, hiding the emotion from her voice. She looks at Maddox, at his red eyes and the grime smeared over his face. His hands still tremble but he holds her gaze steady and without expression. Lilly instigated the fight back with Lani. She took the box of grenades and made everyone drop their weapons. She sided with Lani and thereby opposed Maddox. She did it to save Lani and Howie’s team. She did it knowing Howie would protect her, and if she died then she knew he would protect Billy and the children.
Except he’s gone. They’re all gone. Clarence. Paula. Nick. Nick has left. He didn’t say anything. He didn’t try and find her.
‘Lani’s dead,’ Maddox says in a surprisingly gentle tone, ‘She’s in there.’
‘Where?’
‘Old armoury,’ he says nodding at the ruined wall through which they can see the water gently lapping at the wall.
Nick didn’t say goodbye. He didn’t say anything.
‘Are they coming back?’ She asks, whispering the words out.
Maddox doesn’t reply, doesn’t do anything but stands and watches her for several long seconds, ‘we agreed they’d
stay away…be seen somewhere else,’ he stops on seeing the fleeting look of confusion on Lilly’s face. ‘They left quickly,’ he adds with the sudden recollection of Lilly’s connection to Nick. ‘We didn’t know where you were.’
‘Hospital,’ Lilly says automatically, ‘helping.’
‘Hospital,’ Maddox says, nodding slowly, ‘You okay?’
She nods in return but stares down at the ground willing the tears not to spill from her eyes.
‘About last night,’ Maddox says, lowering his voice another notch.
She swallows, blinks and looks back up at him, waiting and expecting the worse. ‘Just don’t hurt Billy…please…I’ll go if you want but…’
‘I don’t know how to do this,’ Maddox says.
‘I can leave,’ she rushes the words out, ‘I’ll take Billy if you want…I’ll go but please, Maddox, don’t hurt Billy…’
‘S’hard,’ Maddox whispers with a gentle shake of his head. ‘You get me.’
‘Maddox,’ the tears stream down her cheeks, ‘Please…Billy’s lost everyone…’
‘All those kids have lost everyone,’ Maddox says, turning slowly to stare over at the vehicle ramp and the shapes of the children and adults gathered at the top.
‘Maddox, please…he’s my brother,’ she holds the sobs inside but the tension in her throat reflects in her voice made rough and hoarse. ‘He’s my little brother…don’t hurt him. Hurt me…shoot me…he didn’t do anything. I did it.’
‘Shoot you?’ Maddox looks back sharply with eyes that take seconds to focus.
‘Do it outside,’ she nods, almost urging him. ‘So Billy doesn’t see. Tell him I left. Tell him I died in the fires but please don’t let him see…I won’t try and run…’
‘Lilly,’ Maddox says stepping closer, ‘I’m saying I don’t know how to do this,’ he waves a drunken hand at the mess and destruction around them, ‘this… all of this…not shoot you. I know…how…I can shoot but…what?’
She blanches, showing confusion and terror on her face. Her hands wringing in front and her eyes constantly glancing to the ramp and her brother at the top. Maddox closes his eyes, trying to think clearly but his own mind whirls with as many strands of thought as Lilly’s. A fug inside his mind. His muscles ache like hell from the repeated shocks of the tazer. It hurts just to stand up. He tries to remember what he was saying but falters and sways on the spot without realisation of his own motion.
‘This is mess.’
They both look at Lenski stood with her arms folded across her chest. The defiant Polish woman glaring past them to the filth, ‘This is mess. Everything. Everything is mess.’ She tuts, shakes her head and tuts again with an angry blast of air pushed out through her nose. ‘How we fix hole in wall? Where we put bodies? The burnt tents, they go yes? We get new tents yes?’ She nods while speaking, asserting her decisions on the other two with equal glances between Maddox and Lilly. ‘We no give children guns, yes? You have gun,’ she nods at Maddox then taps her own chest, ‘I have gun, Lilly have gun. No one else have gun.’
Lilly have gun? Lilly blinks in surprise but stays silent and watchful.
‘If new people they come. You see them,’ she says to Maddox. ‘We no give guns to children. The Bossman not here now, yes? The children they all die now. Dead. Darius is dead…’
‘I know…’
‘No crew chiefs. No crews. No number one number two number three number four…no more, Maddox.’
‘Okay,’ Maddox says quietly.
‘Howie is gone, yes?’
‘Yeah.’
‘Lilly, you stay, yes?’
‘I er…’
‘Good. This is good. We fix this. We fix mess. Lilly, you shoot gun?’
‘Pardon?’
‘You shoot gun, yes? You know how gun works, yes?’
She nods, ‘Nick showed me…with a er…with a handgun…’
‘Maddox. Give Lilly gun. Give me gun. No one else has gun.’
‘Okay,’ Maddox says, nodding at everything she says with a look of relief washing over his features.
‘Small gun,’ Lenski barks, ‘Lilly and me we have small hands. Not big hands. We have small guns. We fix this mess.’
‘Lilly?’ Maddox says, purposefully widening his eyes as though fighting sleep.
Lilly watches him. Studying his face and manner. She sees a man not many years older than her.
‘We make decisions together,’ Lilly says with a glance at Lenski, ‘All three of us have to agree...’
‘Yes,’ Lenski nods instantly, ‘This good thing. We do this.’
‘I…’ Maddox goes to speak.
‘And Doctor Carlton too,’ Lilly cuts in.
‘We do this,’ Lenski says agreeing with a curt nod, ‘Maddox do this,’ Lenski says in such a tone it leaves nothing else to be said by Maddox who just dips his head.
‘Okay,’ Lilly says, blowing air through her cheeks, ‘Okay…’
‘Not okay,’ Lenski says, ‘look at mess. Look at work. We have hole in wall.’
‘I meant okay I will stay and help,’ Lilly says.
‘I know this,’ Lenski says bluntly, ‘I know you stay. Maddox, get guns. Small guns.’
‘I think we only have one size…’ he stops at the glare sent his way.
‘Good. Get gun. We have meet yes? We decide, yes?’
‘Meat?’ Lilly asks.
‘Yes. We meet. We meet to decide. Three decide. Get Doctor.’ She waves a hand between them.
‘Oh, a meeting,’ Lilly says.
‘Meeting? Meet? Is same thing. We meet. Maddox. Get guns. Small guns.’
‘Okay.’
‘Now, Maddox.’
‘Okay,’ he says again, blinking heavily as he goes to walk off and stumbles.
‘Take other guns from children.’
‘Maddox, are you okay?’ Lilly asks watching him sway further round in a drunken circle.
‘Lock place where guns are.’
‘Okay,’ Maddox breathes the word out fighting to stay upright and keep the blackness at the edge of his vision from closing in. Everything hurts. His legs can’t hold his weight and his neck creaks like rusted hinges every time he moves his head.
‘Small guns, Maddox. Small hands.’
‘Small guns,’ Maddox slurs.
‘Maddox?’ Lilly steps towards him, watching as his legs simply buckle and down he goes, dropping like a stone to lie crumpled on the ground.
Lenski tuts, shaking her head with a mouth pursed and thin, ‘Kurcze!’ She looks over at Maddox and round at everything else that lies broken and ruined, ‘Mess. All mess.’
Four
The room would be pitch dark if not for the gas lamp hissing softly. The back rooms of the medical complex do not have windows and no natural source of light can penetrate the thick walls that deaden the sound and smells of the fort.
He lies on his back on a hastily made bed of blankets stacked on each other to provide what degree of comfort they can give. The room is cool and bathed in the muted orange glow of flame burning within the glass casement.
‘I know of one,’ Andrew says with a sigh, ‘Chap in London got tazered ten times and survived.’
‘Anecdotal?’ Anne asks, glancing over the form of Maddox to Andrew.
‘No,’ Andrew says, his voice a whisper in the darkness. ‘Medical journal reported it for trauma doctors in the cities after the police started equipping their officers with tazers.’
‘He not die?’ Lenski asks bluntly, her emotionless face staring down.
‘He’s stable,’ Andrew says, ‘vitals are okay, heart rate, blood pressure…he’s young, fit and strong,’ he stops to pull a face with a tired shrug, ‘Hopefully…only time will tell.’
Lilly shuffles forward, clearing her throat politely as a pre-cursor to speaking, ‘The man who was tazered ten times? He was okay?’
‘He had mental health issues,’ Andrew mutters, ‘whether that has any bearing on his ability to withstand the shock i
s something I do not know. Any person exposed to that level of shock to the body can have very serious health implications…look, all we can do is monitor him and let his body rest.’
‘How long?’ Lenski asks, as blunt as ever.
‘Jesus, how do I know?’ Andrew says glaring up at her.
‘We don’t know,’ Anne says, rising to her feet with a grimace at the pain radiating in her knees from being knelt down for so long. ‘Who wants this?’ She picks the pistol up taken from the back of Maddox’s belt and holds it out to the two women who stare at the squat black weapon.
‘Can you make him awake?’
‘Lenski,’ Anne says softly, ‘Maddox is unconscious, there is nothing we can do to…’
‘Adrenalin,’ Lenski says quickly, ‘I see this on television. They give the man the adrenalin and he wake.’
‘No,’ Anne says as Andrew gets to his feet, ‘it doesn’t work like that…’
‘He needs rest,’ Andrew says.
‘We no have time for rest,’ Lenski says.
‘You have to listen…’
‘No!’ Lenski snaps, cutting Anne off with an angry glare, ‘Maddox he strong. Maddox he…he strong…we need Maddox now.’
‘He is unconscious,’ Andrew says through gritted teeth.
‘He no be this thing. He no be. He wake. Maddox…MADDOX…WAKE UP!’
‘Lenski, stop it…’ Anne says imploringly.
‘He has been shocked what…six…seven times?’ Andrew asks, shaking his head at the panic in the young Polish woman. ‘He needs to recover.’
‘How long recover?’
‘Lenski, we’ve told you this. We do not know.’
Lilly watches as Lenski snorts air through her nose while pushing her hands through her hair. A rare show of worry and panic showing on her face.
‘Kurcze…’ Lenski mutters, throwing a worried look at Lilly. ‘Take gun…you know to shoot? We move quick yes?’
‘Pardon?’ Lilly asks, blanching at the sudden rush of words.
‘They see. They see Maddox go down. They see,’ Lenski says reaching over to take the pistol from Anne. ‘Take it…take gun…you know to shoot?’
