“You’re beautiful, Nezzie. Come one more time for me, my love.”
“Miss Nez, I’m ready,” Sunny panted. “Mr. Delacroix, I’m ready. Please let me come now, sir. May I?”
“Very well, boy, fill her up.”
I came hard when Sunny filled me. Golden sun streamed through the window. Sunny and I cried together while Mr. Delacroix clapped his hands in delight.
Mr. Delacroix came to me and kissed me gently. “Nez, you’re my world,” he said as he untied Sunny’s wrists, kissing each one. “Sunny, I’ve missed you, my friend. I’ve missed you more than I realized.” He tossed the pillows out from under Sunny and pulled me down, falling between us. He put our heads on his chest and his arms under our necks.
“I believe with the two of you at my side, I can do just about anything. The two of you keep me focused.” He kissed my head and then Sunny’s. “I need you two.”
“Sir, I need you too. It’s good to be back,” Sunny said and wrapped his arm around both of us.
18.
Monique’s journals mirrored my life in so many ways that I felt bound to her with tethers that spanned the centuries. Sometimes I imagined I could hear her voice in my head. I thought I was insane with it, but Mr. Delacroix and I shared this insanity. On occasion, he and I would talk about Monique as if she were there giving us motherly advice. I loved that Mr. Delacroix and I had this secret space together.
Magnolia blossoms were beginning to fade from white to tan and the days were warm. Mr. Delacroix said this was nothing compared to summertime heat and humidity and how much nicer the days are out at Twisted Oak during the hot months.
“The city gets hot. There’s too much pavement and everything just gets sticky and grimy. At Twisted Oak, you can open the windows and get a bayou breeze even on still days.”
He was wistful when he talked about Twisted Oak and I wondered how things would change when we got there.
“After Dad died, Mr. Scott and I decided to retrofit her with central air ducts in some parts of the house, mostly the bedrooms and upstairs inthe playroom. The rest of it we left like it’s always been. I have fond memories of when I was a kid and we’d get naked and lie under the ceiling fans after we went swimming.”
“Did you have a lot of friends, sir?” I asked.
“I did, but they were kids whose parents worked the farm, employees’ kids. We all went to school together on the grounds. Did I tell you that Mrs. Scott and I were childhood friends?”
“No, my lord. Ty said she was born out there, but I guess I didn’t put two and two together.” I was curious now as to their relationship.
“She’s younger than me, though, about four years younger. Might as well have been light-years when we were kids, and when I was a teenager, I was convinced I was gay. I never showed an interest in her or any girls until I went to college, but she and I were friends. There weren’t many young ones that stayed on the grounds except the few who still come around. The ones who embraced the lifestyle.”
Silence followed and I could tell he was reminiscing. “Tomorrow when Sunny’s here we can talk about some of the new ideas I have concerning the new arrangement now that Mr. Scott has all but relinquished the management of Twisted Oak. I want us all to be happy. I know Sunny wants to put some work into Ty, maybe get him to come out to Twisted Oak. I’ve got some ideas that I want to run by you two.”
“Thank you, my lord, I’d like that.”
“You agree with Sunny? You think it’s a good idea to include Ty in all this?” he asked.
“Mr. Delacroix, I owe a debt of gratitude to Ty.”
“No, Nez, around here, we aren’t into tallying up debt and asking for paybacks. We give out of the kindness of our hearts. Ty doesn’t expect anything from you.”
“I’ve talked with Sunny, my lord. He and I agree. Ty has a lot of potential. Sir, Sunny really loves Ty.”
“There’s no doubt he does, but I don’t know if Ty’s willing to change, give up his freedom. I think it’s nothing but a heartbreak for Sunny. Ty’s set in his ways, and truth be told, I value his community connections here in the city.” Shades of sadness welled up in his eyes. “I don’t want to force a situation. I made that mistake before. I can’t travel that road again.”
“You mean Collette, sir?”
“You mean Collette, sir?”
“Her demons were too fierce and she was too weak to get out; other mistakes, too. Sometimes when I want something, I get too myopic. I forget about other people’s feelings and needs and that’s not good, Nezzie.”
“I’m sorry, my lord.”
“I am too. I should’ve seen it with her, though. Mr. Scott did, and poor Sunny was too young and new to know. He took a lot of the blame himself, that kid did. What I did was so wrong. I was wrong, Nezzie, and she died because of it. Never again, babe.”
“You can’t blame yourself, sir. No one can know what a person’s really thinking, and she could have gotten out. Anyone can get out of the agreement at any time.”
“The thing is, I know what my submissives are thinking, and I should have known with her.” He looked out over the square. The people were beginning to pack up to make room for the night crowd; the changing of the guard in quiet recession. “I like Ty too, but he scares me.”
“A little secret, my lord?”
He sat straight up and looked at me, eyes dazzling with curiosity. “You have a secret you’ve been keeping from me?”
“Ty scares you, but he’s also scared of you.” I paused, waiting for a reaction, but got none. “If I may suggest, my dear lord?”
“Go ahead,” he said as he sipped his tea.
“Spend some time with him without correcting him or making advances. Sir, tell him you care. Just use the words. Tell him you consider him a friend.”
He laughed. “Nezzie, for a smart girl, you sure are naïve. Ty doesn’t roll like that. He’ll only think I’m after something. He thinks everyone is hustling something. He can’t trust, baby girl.” He paused. “I’m very aware of the fact that Ty and I scare each other. It’s that way for a very good reason and I admit that I’m mostly to blame.”
“Maybe, but can you see about giving Sunny another chance with him?”
He raised his eyebrows. “Nez?”
“My lord,” I quickly responded.
“I’ll talk with him for you and only for you. Since it is so important for you and Sunny to include Ty, you have my permission to speak with him too.”
“I will. Thank you, sir.”
We sat in silence for a while as we witnessed the evening shuffle in the square.
“Sir?” I pressed gingerly.
“Yes, my darling?”
“Have you ever fucked Mrs. Scott?”
“Yes,” he answered immediately.
“When?”
“Nez, for fuck’s sake, when what?” He leaned over and tugged my hair.
“My lord, when did you fuck her?”
“Like, how recently?”
“Yes, my lord.”
“A few days ago at the roast.”
I felt jealousy creeping in. “When was the first time?”
“I’d come back from college. I’d been collared by then. I came back unplanned. I had a break from school and I missed Mr. Scott. I wanted to surprise him. I came back and that’s when it happened.”
“He made you do it?”
Hints of gunmetal in his eyes, he said, “Nez, address me properly or we can stop having this conversation. Would you have said no to me when I asked you to fuck Sunny?”
“No, sir.”
“Would you deny wanting Sunny? Because I’m not gonna sit here and lie to you and tell you I didn’t want Mrs. Scott.”
“No, sir.”
“Well, I did want her and every time I fuck her I want her, okay?”
> The tears welled up and rolled down my cheeks. I felt like a fool. I had thought I was the only one.
“Nezzie, hey, don’t confuse want with how I feel,” he said, and his tone softened. “I’ve told you from the very beginning that I like to fuck, and it doesn’t matter who it is. I’m brutally honest and I won’t apologize for it. We’ve got to be honest with one another. When I dominate, I’ll take whomever I please whenever I please and wherever I please. It doesn’t mean they’re my world like you are, or that I would die for them like I would you. Nezzie, you belong to me. Do you understand?”
“Yes, I think so, my lord.” I was disappointed that he did not say he loved me. That he would die for me was not enough.
“If it helps, every time I’ve fucked her, he’s been involved. Every scene is like the one we played out the other night with Sunny. He’s always there. He won’t let anyone touch her unless he’s right there, as it will be with us. So it isn’t like she and I go off by ourselves and have anything special. She’s just a fuck; always has been and always will be, nothing more. She doesn’t belong to me. I don’t want her that way.”
“Will I always be with you when you’re fucking someone else now that I’ve signed on?”
“If that’s your wish, then it will be so,” he said in a sharp voice. “Please, Nez. I know when you’re upset you forget, but you must address me properly. Now would be a very bad time to be punished.”
“Sorry, sir. My lord, can you tell me about when Mr. Scott collared you?”
“Why so many questions this evening?”
“Sir, I think it’s the thought of going to Twisted Oak without knowing what’s happened there. It’ll help me adjust if I have some history.”
He smiled. “My gorgeous, edible, delectable historian. Can I eat your history? Can I eat it right out of you?”
“I’m serious, sir.”
“I am too.”
“Please tell me, my lord, about being collared. What’s it like?”
“It’s different for everyone. When I collared Sunny, we were at Twisted Oak and the family was there to witness me placing the collar on him.” He sighed contentedly. “It was lovely. Sunny was beautiful that day. You haven’t seen his collars?”
“No, my lord, he offered to show them to me, but I wasn’t interested at the time. I didn’t understand the significance.”
“When Mr. Scott collared me, it was just the two of us at my father’s grave. I’ll never forget what he said: ‘Blood binds us, heart binds us, spirit binds us. Gregory-Michel, you are my blood, my heart, and my spirit. I bind your body with love.’ That was the first time he told me he loved me.” Mr. Delacroix’s electric blue eyes were swimming in tears.
“You were fifteen?”
“Yes, but I knew what was happening. I understood the depth of it just like you will. I was loyal to him, true and devoted all those years, so you can understand my confusion when I came back and he was with her. She wasn’t Mrs. Scott yet, though. He’d taken her without even mentioning it to me. I had girls all over me at school chasing me around and I turned them all down out of love and respect for him.”
He grew agitated. “Mr. Scott has always been a player. He lacks the skills of a true dom. He much preferred being my father’s submissive. Dad died too soon to break him, but I will if it is the last thing I do.”
“Oh, so that’s how their relationship was, sir.” While this did not surprise me, up until this, I was unsure who had been on top. “My lord, so when you came back and he made you . . .”
“All I can say is Mrs. Scott and I didn’t get off on a very good foot. I was young and angry and took my frustrations out on her that first time. I was stupid. She had no idea what was going on.”
I recalled Ty saying what a dark time this had been for Mr. Delacroix and I began to see beneath his cool exterior insecurities creeping in.
“Nezzie,” he whispered, “I wasn’t well for a little while there, do you understand?”
“I don’t know, sir.”
“I felt like he betrayed me. He didn’t care or understand how much he meant to me. He broke my heart. He was the only family I had left, the only one, and he changed that without even talking to me.” His voice was near panic. “I was alone.”
Mr. Delacroix made a conscious effort to settle down, but his hands shook. “Aw, Nez, that’ll never happen between us, I swear to you. It’s never my intention to lose control and hurt you, and if I do by accident, you have to tell me.”
I steadied myself. “Thank you, sir.”
He went to the liquor cabinet. He never drank unless we were celebrating with friends and it was rarely hard liquor. The ice cubes crackled as the bourbon flowed over them. He shook the glass and took a large pull from the sweet liquor.
“In the spirit of full disclosure,” he said as he turned to me, “I can see it’s puzzling you. You are my world and I command that there be no secrets between us. You have the right to know about this imperfect being that stands before you.” He drained the glass and filled it again.
How melodramatic, I thought, yet he was so beautiful in his suffering. I was coming to understand the beauty in it all, in the suffering and the sadness. I had never seen him look so radiantly sublime than at that moment of torment. I had no words for him, only my fuller understanding.
“So, after that episode,” he continued, “I left Twisted Oak and I haven’t returned other than as a guest in my own house. It’s Mr. Scott’s to run until I turn thirty, as dictated by the family trust, a smart move on my dad’s part, because I was very confused when I was younger. Back then, all my plans were fucked because I thought I would come back home and be with Mr. Scott. I loved him so much. I still love him.”
He came back to the balcony and sat with his legs apart, elbows to his knees, cradling the glass of bourbon. Sunny’s voice reminded me to give him his space, so I remained silent.
“That night, I came here and went to Bourbon Street to fuck anything I could. Hell, Nez, I’d never been with a girl until Mrs. Scott. I was fucked up and damned confused. Everything came down at me all at once. I missed my dad and I never knew my mother. My family was gone and I felt like I had lost Mr. Scott. And that’s when I got really drunk and met Ty.”
He laughed sardonically and drank more bourbon. “Shit, Nez, he must have been like sixteen or something. He was young, I was young. Anyway, I got him up here and,” he paused and sipped the bourbon, “I dunno, so much is a blur, but I stayed drunk for days and he was my fucking whipping post.” He dropped the heavy crystal glass that held his drink and cried like a baby. The smell of bourbon permeated the air and a man looked up from the square.
“So this is why Ty scares you, my sweet lord.”
“That kid, he could have had my ass in a sling. He could have had me arrested for what I did, and maybe he should have. Maybe I should be sitting in fucking prison for doing to him what some fucking asshole did to Sunny. Nezzie, I lost control and Ty just took it, but ya think he told anyone? Not a fuckin’ soul. Ya know what he said to me after I woke up and realized what the hell I had done, that I could have killed him?”
“No, sir.”
“He told me, that saint of a guy told me,” Mr. Delacroix said, “‘Mistah, you gots you a bad demon in yo mind an’ it ain’t goin’ away till you look it in the eye. If beatin’ me to death make you see dat demon, you go on an’ keep beatin’ but you recall I da one make you see it.’ Nez, he was so young, beaten, swollen by my hand, and he was so fuckin’ right. If anyone owes Ty anything, it’s me. I owe him my life.”
“Sir, you fear him because . . .” I led him on.
“Nezzie, he scares me because he makes me see the demons. Don’t you understand? He’s a constant reminder that I haven’t faced any of it.”
“My lord, I think you’re doing that right now.”
He sat up and looked to the t
wilight sky. He was still sobbing, his chest going in and out in desperate attempts to regulate his breathing. Tears glimmered on his cheeks. I wanted to kiss them away.
He continued, “He stayed with me for a while. I don’t know why, but he did, and I never laid a hand on him in that way, I swear to you. We worked a few things out, but we both realized that he needed to move on after Collette came. She was sweet and kind, but messed up, too. Damaged goods, Sunny says. By then, Ty helped me realize my limits and helped me stop drinking, my savior in every way. He changed my life. I really care for Ty, but why would he care for me? He should hate me.”
Mr. Delacroix’s hand ran through his hair. “He stays loyal to me because I gave him a house and got him set up on his own. I promised that as long as he’s part of this family, no one will touch him. So here we are, something like ten years later, in the same holding pattern of trust, but no trust; of caring, but not caring; looking after one another’s backs, but afraid the other will do the stabbing. It’s pretty fucked up, isn’t it?”
“Yes, my lord.”
“I don’t blame the guy for using me for all I’m worth. I fucking owe him everything. It’s all his, for god’s sake.”
I knew Mr. Delacroix had had enough confession for the evening, but I needed to clarify one more thing before we moved on, for my own peace of mind. A week before, when Sunny was tied up, Mr. Delacroix had come close to hitting me in the same way Steve used to hit my mother. I felt the difference and so did Sunny. I needed to know that I was not placing all my trust with a monster.
“Sir, other than that first time with Mrs. Scott and Ty, have you ever hurt anyone else?”
“Aw, no, cher, I swear on my father’s grave that I’ve never intentionally hurt another soul. I’m not that guy anymore, thanks to Ty. I apologize. I know I scared you before.” He paused. “I’m sorry I almost lost control. I swear to you, I’m not that way anymore. You need to tell me if somehow what I do hurts you in any way. I can’t bear the thought of hurting you. We have to be honest with one another about everything.”
Twisted Oak: A Sexual Odyssey Page 18
