Grace met Laney’s eyes and could tell her friend was holding back more that she wanted to say. “What?”
“Have you considered that this could work out better than you ever hoped?”
“What do you mean?”
Laney hesitated for a moment before answering. “What if this time Nathan liked you back? Maybe you three could be a real family.”
Grace shook her head. “I can’t even think that.”
“Why not?”
The truth clawed its way out. “Because it would hurt too much when it didn’t come true.”
Laney opened her mouth to say something else, but Grace held up a hand to stop her. “I’ll go to the dance, maybe even enjoy it, but I can’t open myself up to any more pain. I’ve had enough.”
To her credit, Laney nodded in understanding. “Well, if you’re going dancing, I’m at least going to make you look presentable.”
Grace smiled. “Why do I suddenly feel like I’m on What Not to Wear?”
Laney just smiled and rubbed her hands together in anticipation.
Twenty minutes later, Grace stood in front of the bathroom mirror wearing a red strapless sundress and white sandals with kitten heels, her hair styled in gentle, carefree waves. Tears pooled in her eyes. She hadn’t looked this good, this healthy, in a long time.
“What’s wrong?” Laney’s reflection showed concern.
“It’s just been a while since I did anything like this.”
Laney squeezed Grace’s shoulders. “Do something for yourself?”
Grace edged her way out of the bathroom. “I’m just going because Evan wants to.”
Laney followed her into the living room then leaned back against the couch and crossed her arms. “Do you ever do anything for you alone?”
There she was, sounding like Emily again. “Yes.”
“What?”
“My business.”
“Work doesn’t count.”
“Even if I love what I do?”
“Nope. Even if you love it, work is a means to an end—an end that probably has everything to do with providing for your son.”
“And that’s a bad thing?”
“Of course not. But you have to do stuff for yourself, too, especially after everything you’ve gone through. Think of it as a good lesson for Evan. He’ll see that people can take care of others without forgetting to enjoy their own lives.”
Grace took a few steps toward the window and spotted Evan and Cheyenne sitting on the steps of the other cabin. Laney was right. Evan had been able to get himself ready all on his own. Laney’s footsteps caused the floorboards to squeak as she walked over to join Grace.
“Trust me on this,” Laney said. “When Chey was sick, I gave everything to her, absolutely everything. So much so that when she got better, Stephen and I barely recognized each other. I couldn’t remember the last time we’d slept in the same bed. One of us was always with Chey, either at the hospital or in Chey’s room at home. I got her back and almost lost him.”
“I’m sorry. I didn’t know.” Grace understood that bone-deep need to take care of her child, to do whatever it took. She admired Laney for it. But her friend had been hurting in other ways. “Why didn’t you tell us?”
Laney shrugged. “You had enough on your own plate. Plus, I just wanted to make it better and pretend it never happened.” She picked at the fabric on the back of the couch. “Sometimes I think about what would have happened if we’d lost Chey. Stephen and I, neither one of us would have had anyone to turn to, to grieve with. We would have both been utterly alone. Chey’s illness would have killed not only her but the love we’d once shared, too.”
“Are…are you two okay now?”
“It took time and hard work, but we made our way back to each other. And you know what? Because we’re happy, Chey’s happy.”
Grace watched Evan as he pointed toward something in one of the nearby trees, a bird maybe. “And you think that’s what I should do with Nathan, find my way back to him?”
Laney lifted her shoulders a fraction. “I don’t know if he’s your Mr. Happily Ever After, but what harm could it do to dance with the man, maybe flirt a little?”
Grace sighed and pointed out the window, at Evan. “That can happen.”
Chapter Seven
As the final notes of the third song in their first set faded away, Nathan accepted that Grace and Evan weren’t coming to the music hall. His stomach had been jittery all afternoon at the thought of seeing her again. He kept telling himself it was because time was ticking away, and he had to use every opportunity to change her stance on telling Evan the truth so they could avoid a potentially ugly situation. But a voice inside him kept demanding that he stop lying to himself.
Despite still being upset over her decision to keep Evan all to herself, he was attracted to Grace. Really attracted. She’d grown into a beautiful woman, and he wasn’t the only man to notice. As he and his brothers launched into Toby Keith’s “Should’ve Been a Cowboy,” he noticed Barrett Farnsley still shooting the front door glances as he talked with Nathan’s dad and a couple of the other campers’ fathers. If there was one good thing about Grace skipping out tonight, it was that she wasn’t dancing with Farnsley while Nathan had to watch from the stage.
He was in the middle of the chorus when the door opened. He’d swear his heart missed a beat, but then the crowd shifted to reveal little Cheyenne and her mom. What was wrong with him? He’d never felt this way in high school, when a person’s emotions were supposed to be all wonky. Maybe he just felt bad for all she’d gone through, even admired her for everything she’d accomplished on her own—that, and the undeniable fact that she was a stunner. He had to stop thinking about her or he was going to flub the lyrics to the song and be left without a good explanation.
When he shifted his attention to his brothers and the three of them started playing off each other, the crowd got even louder. He fed off it and ended the song with a rousing flourish. They’d launched into the next song when he saw Grace. She’d slipped in while his attention had been on playing. It was a good thing Simon had the lead vocals on the current song because he was stunned speechless. Grace was simply beautiful. Even if she weren’t the mother of his son, he’d want her. Her, not anything she might be able to give him.
As he just managed to get through the familiar notes, he watched her every move, not caring who saw. She looked in his direction, but the combination of the stage lights and distance kept him from being able to read her expression. But at least she was there.
His muscles tensed when he noticed Farnsley making his way toward her, much as they had when he’d seen them together that afternoon. Grace had seemed like she was having a good time, and Farnsley had made her laugh, really laugh. Did she like the man? Why else would she have been with him? And Farnsley had experience at being a father, unlike him.
His anger at having missed so much with Evan—his birth, first word, first step, first Christmas, first day of school—made a quick reappearance. His jaw tightened and he flubbed a section of the song he’d played dozens of times. Ryan managed to do a decent job of covering his mistake with an extra crash of the cymbals. Nathan refused to make eye contact with Simon.
Instead, he watched as Farnsley reached Grace and obviously asked her to dance with a gesture toward the dance floor. He gritted his teeth until Grace shook her head. Nathan couldn’t help a satisfied smile as she placed her hand on Evan’s shoulder.
That’s right, Farnsley, back away from what’s not yours.
But then Nathan’s mother stepped into the picture, halting the other man’s retreat.
Grace hesitated at whatever his mom had said. Surely she hadn’t confronted Grace about Evan’s paternity. That wasn’t like her. But she’d never ha
d a grandson on the line before. Though his mom did a better job of hiding it than he did, Nathan suspected she was upset about the lost years with Evan, too. What grandmother wouldn’t be when it hit her that she’d lost all those early years of her first grandchild’s life? Only when Grace allowed Farnsley to escort her to the dance floor did he realize his mother had offered to watch Evan while they danced. Why had she done that?
But Grace evidently felt safe enough to leave Evan with his grandmother. That was a positive step—even if it did come at the cost of Nathan having to watch Grace dance with another man. It shouldn’t bother him, but it did.
Focus on the positive.
Maybe Grace was already changing her mind. As they ended another song, it was all Nathan could do to not leap off the stage and ask.
“Time to slow things down a little,” Simon said in advance of the next song.
Nathan shot him an ugly look, to which Simon mouthed, “What?” Nathan waved him off and settled into the slower tune. He hit another wrong note when Farnsley pulled Grace into his arms. He stared hard at the back of the man’s head. But Farnsley kept dancing with Grace, and was enjoying it if the smile on his face was any indication. Nathan ground his teeth together but managed to play his part by the miracle of rote memory.
Grace glanced over Farnsley’s shoulder and met Nathan’s eyes for a long moment before she lowered her gaze. Could she see the intensity burning in him? Could she tell what it meant? How could she when he wasn’t sure himself?
Who was he kidding? He knew exactly what it meant. He wanted to jump off the stage, march up to Farnsley and toss him aside like the interloper he was, and pull Grace close to himself instead. Very close, where he could smell her shampoo and run his fingertips over her bare shoulders, maybe trail them across all that lovely skin. He knew it didn’t make sense to be angry with her and be drawn to her at the same time, but that didn’t make it any less true.
When the end of the song brought the band’s first scheduled break, he nearly flew off the stage as the DJ took over the music. But instead of heading for Grace, he made a beeline for the bar—only to remember as he reached it that there was no alcohol tonight. Damn, right when he needed a beer.
“What’s eating you?” Simon asked before ordering a mug of root beer.
“Grace was dancing with Barrett Farnsley,” Ryan answered instead.
“Oh, jealousy monster.” Simon nodded like he needed no further explanation. “Well, you’re free for a few. Go ask her to dance.”
He almost told his brother to mind his own business, but Simon’s words took hold in the part of his mind that agreed with them.
“What can I get you?” the bartender asked him.
“I’m good.” At least he would be when he got Grace out of Farnsley’s hands. Without a glance or word toward his brothers, he headed into the sea of dancers. He stubbornly ignored a voice in his head trying to whisper reasons why seeing Grace with Farnsley bothered him so much. That voice didn’t know what it was talking about. This was lust, pure and simple. Nothing more.
And yet his heart thumped extra hard when he reached them and tapped Farnsley on the arm. “Mind if I cut in?”
For a moment, he thought the man might actually refuse. Nathan honestly didn’t know how he’d respond to that. Probably not well.
“If Grace doesn’t mind,” Farnsley said.
Just hearing Grace’s name on the man’s tongue annoyed Nathan. Again, he refused to examine why.
“No, that’s fine,” Grace said and smiled at Farnsley.
Nathan’s jaw went rigid, but he tried to hide it when Grace met his eyes.
Farnsley backed away then weaved his way through the crowd toward the bar, retracing the steps Nathan had just taken to get to Grace. Nathan didn’t waste any time, placing one hand at Grace’s waist and using the other to capture one of hers, hoping to erase the sight and feel of Farnsley from her memory.
Man, he was thinking like a caveman. My woman. Only she wasn’t his, never had been.
Her hand felt so soft, so small wrapped in his. He nearly pulled away at the odd thought that his rough, callused hand might scrape that delicate skin.
They danced without speaking through an entire chorus before he felt her take a deep breath. “I don’t remember you being a dancer,” she said.
“What? I’m a regular Fred Astaire.”
She laughed.
“You don’t think so?” He spun her with a little more enthusiasm.
“I’m just surprised you know who Fred Astaire is.”
“I’ve watched an old movie or two with my mom. My life isn’t all horses and ranching.”
She glanced at the stage. “No. Evidently, you’re a musician now, too.”
“I wouldn’t say that. We just dabble, have a little fun.”
“You’re being too modest.”
“Now there’s something I’ve never been accused of.” Was it his imagination, or did she stiffen the slightest bit? Was she remembering the stupid kid he’d been before? “I’m sorry.”
She finally met his eyes then, and his breath caught. How had he not realized how pretty her eyes were back when he’d last held her?
Because you were half-drunk, you idiot.
He noticed she was staring at him, that she must have said something. “What?”
Her eyes registered a moment of surprise then curiosity. “What are you sorry for?”
He wanted to look away but forced himself to maintain eye contact. “For how I treated you back then.” Five minutes before, he’d had no thought of apologizing to her, but it felt right. No matter what she’d done in the aftermath, what he’d done to her was wrong.
She lowered her eyes so that she was probably staring at a button midway down his shirt. “Thank you.”
His steps faltered. Why was she thanking him?
“It might be late, but I appreciate the apology.” She cast wary glances at the people dancing nearby, as if she was afraid they all might figure out the truth and pose a threat. Then her gaze shot to where his mother and Evan sat side by side on tall stools, talking. “Your mother won’t say anything, will she?”
“I asked her not to.”
Grace relaxed a little. Instead of allowing himself to get upset all over again, Nathan carefully pulled her closer.
“But she wants to know her grandson. I want to know my son.”
Grace shot a suddenly panicked expression at him. He squeezed her hand, trying to reassure her, to keep her from running. “We’re not going to do anything to hurt him. Or you.” How was he ever going to convince her to let him into Evan’s life if fear of losing Evan rode so close to the surface, just waiting to jump out and spook her?
“Family is the most important thing in the world to my mom.” He had to make Grace relax so it didn’t feel as though he was dancing with a very pretty, sweet-smelling tree. “That’s how we got into this crazy band thing.”
Her eyebrows scrunched closer together, and damned if he didn’t think even her look of confusion was attractive. He fought the powerful urge to kiss away those creases on her forehead.
“Did I ever tell you about Mom’s mandatory family nights?”
Grace shook her head. “We didn’t talk about much other than algebra, football and horses.”
Nathan winced. “Sorry.”
Grace shrugged, as if the fact he’d likely never asked her about her interests was to be expected. Little things like that made it hard to stay angry with her even though he felt he had every right.
“Every Thursday night, we all had to be home. We rotated who was in charge of family night each week. That person had to provide the meal and the entertainment.”
Grace pressed her lips together then smiled. “You had to c
ook?”
“I said provide the meal, not cook. I used my allowance to get takeout from the Primrose when it was my turn.”
“So your talents don’t extend to the kitchen?” She looked on the verge of laughing.
“Only if you want people to get sick and swear off food forever.”
She did laugh then, and the sound made Nathan feel as though he was standing in the sunshine. What was going on with him? Why was Grace affecting him so differently now than she had before?
Or had he always been more attracted than he’d realized? She was, after all, the first girl he’d ever made love with. All this time he’d been telling himself it was only sex, but what if he was wrong?
“So I’m guessing the band somehow made its debut on one of these family nights?”
He thought back to the scheme he and his brothers had cooked up, and how it had backfired, and laughed under his breath. “Yeah. Simon, Ryan and I had this great plan to put together a truly awful band, one so bad that our parents would forever cancel family night.”
The song ended and flowed right into another. It was a faster tune, but Nathan refused to release Grace and she didn’t object.
“You didn’t like spending time with your parents?”
“We were teenagers. We were more interested in hanging out with our friends.”
“Oh.”
It hit him that his story might be giving Grace more evidence of his selfishness. She hadn’t really had a loving family or friends to turn to, and he’d had both. Now that he thought of it that way, he had been selfish. He desperately wanted to make himself look better in her eyes. Maybe then she’d trust him with Evan, stop being afraid he’d take him away from her like her mother had.
“It didn’t work though,” he said. “Mom thought it was a great idea for us to have a band, and Dad cleaned out one of the storage buildings so we could practice.”
Grace laughed, really laughed this time. “Let me guess, a building far, far away from the house.”
“We have a winner.” He guided her clear of another couple doing some fancy footwork. “I think they were afraid we’d scare the horses.”
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