Don't Close Your Eyes
Amber has to run part of the way to make it to work on time. The weather has returned to its previous glory and she is exhilarated when she walks through the door. She must look happy because Rissa gives her a huge grin and says, "tell me everything!"
"Oh, there really isn't much to tell… I fell asleep on him and we were both nearly late for work."
"You slept together already? Isn't this only your second date?"
"Well, technically I think it might actually be our first date. The rest has been unplanned happenstance. And technically we slept together, but we didn't "sleep" together as you put it. It was innocent. Not that I haven’t thought about it"… Amber winks and the girls sit down together enjoying their morning coffee. The store is open but it’s turning out to be a slow morning.
Amber takes the opportunity to ask Rissa about the pendant her grandmother wore.
"So this religion you are a part of, my grandmother had a pendant like yours, does that mean she was in your Circle too?"
"Yes and no," Rissa says, "it’s a bit complicated for those not a part of it to understand. You could think of it as a universe that contains many galaxies, and within those galaxies are planets. Each Circle is merely a planet that functions within its own galaxy, moving around within the bigger picture. She was part of the larger galaxy that is outside of ours. She was a Watcher. Some would say a protector of sorts. She was an amazing woman, Amber, and I wish you could have known her better. You would have loved her."
"I am certain that I would have loved her dearly. Her home is so full of how much she cherished nature and the simple things in life. You should see her library. The books in there are spectacular, all leather-bound and full of handwritten pages. She has every book on folklore and early civilizations that could possibly exist. She must have been very interested in ancient traditions. Some of the books are even written in other languages. I have not had much time to peek at them yet, but what I have seen is impressive."
Rissa is filled with foreboding, for those books hold more secrets than even she has ever had access too. She knows given the right knowledge Amber will become a very powerful force and it is imperative that she not become a force on the wrong side when the war begins. Rissa knows how precarious the balance is, and what she must do to protect it.
Amber stands helping a customer and immediately passes out cold. The images flashing in her mind are crisp and clear. There are sirens in the distance and she can hear a man screaming out in the darkness. "Margie, baby I'm sorry, Margie!" She feels the warmth spreading between her legs, the pain growing in her back and abdomen is excruciating.
"She’s going to have a baby!”No, not yet, it's too early... Save him! It’s too early"…
"The ambulance is almost here, baby, I can hear it, can you?"
Feeling the rushing pain again, she knows the time is near. There’s nothing she can do to stop it, feeling desperation and misery. She cannot lose this child. "Please God, take me instead," she screams and the pain backs off again.
Taking a deep breath as the medics arrive she prepares for the next wave. They scramble her into the ambulance before the next contraction and as it comes on she cannot hold back the screams. "Please save the baby!"
"We think the placenta has ruptured and we’re going to have to do an emergency caesarian and hope for the best."
"There’s so much blood..." Her husband mumbles in a daze as they are nearing the hospital. "Can she survive when there is so much blood?"
They rush her into the ER attaching her to IVs of blood plasma to get her through. They’re already prepared for her and they rush her to surgery. There is blood everywhere.
Blood cleanses the spirit, blood is where the soul hides, blood is life and the blood is death. The thought is as clear as if it is spoken.
The surgeon cuts the baby from her body and she sees him cry out. "He is alive!" She feels the tingling in her limbs and senses the end is near. They place the baby in her arms, he is healthy and he is alive, but she is dying. She looks into his beautiful brown eyes, just like his father she thinks as she fades into black. Amber is looking down at her, her husband crying next to her, takes their son in his arms. Her husband is the same man that came to see Rissa. Amber wakes in an instant, standing on shaky legs.
"Rissa, I need to talk to you! Do you remember the man with the wife that was worried about losing the baby? I think she just died in childbirth," Amber says and Rissa simply looks at her worriedly.
"Let me take care of this customer and we’ll talk. Sit down here and catch your breath." Amber feels weak and unstable and is completely unsure what just happened. The visions have never come outside of dreams before and most are more like memories than premonitions. This time she worries it is happening right now, and there is nothing that will change it.
The woman's words echo in her head as she tries to extinguish the heaviness of the emotions attaching themselves to her. She can't shake the sickness in her stomach and in her heart. She has just witnessed a woman sacrificing herself to save her unborn child, she is sure of it. She has been granted her wish, God or whoever listens took her life in place of her son. What a cruel hand has been dealt to this poor woman and her loving husband.
Rissa making an espresso, explains to the customer that Amber hasn't been feeling well. This simple explanation seems to appease her curiosity and unease over the scene. She pays for her coffee with a bit of small talk and a smile. "Get better soon," she says to Amber on her way out the door.
Amber isn't really paying attention and gives her a nod of politeness. She knows she must look as white as a ghost, her cheeks feeling cold and she feels emotionally drained completely dry. I am some kind of crazy...Some kind of freak...I guess I have always known I am wrong somehow...How do I make it go away? how do I not let that...whatever it is... happen again? She punishes herself with self-deprecating thoughts, and her eyes reveal her sadness.
Amber has tears in her eyes as Rissa approaches. Taking Amber by the hand, she says, “The sight darling, you have the sight. You’re not crazy... you’re not wrong...You’re special! You have a gift many people wish they could have...You see things that are hidden! You feel ripples in the fabric of time and fate. You know when something is tampered with, or offsets the balance, the universal energy shows you. Only you have the ability to set things to the way they are intended to be. Sometimes things you see will be of the past, sometimes they will be happening as you see them, and sometimes they will be of the future and you will have an opportunity to put things into motion that change the outcome. You will become a Watcher too when you are ready, you were born into it."
Rissa is shocked at how powerfully the sight has taken hold of Amber, she has seen many that can do it, but never with such vivid detail and never has anyone who feels the emotions of the person within the vision. The sight has always been a passive trait, one that gives hints and glimpses into possibilities, not a television quality replay of events. Amber is truly a powerful player in this game. Rissa worries about what the future holds for them, for the Circle, and for the world.
Amber is not sure why she doesn't feel like this crazy talk is actually crazy at all. Somehow it all makes sense in a twilight zone kind of way. She understands there is something different about her, and though she often tries to ignore it and pretends it is nothing, she knows deep down it is something she will have to learn to live with. What will people think of her if she keeps fainting in public? What a spectacle she must be when the visions take hold. They used to happen when she was already asleep or upon waking, but to have them encroaching on her waking hours as well? At least Rissa doesn't think she is crazy. Kind of funny her ending up here, with this friend who understands her completely. Fate has a way of making things interesting.
"Did you happen to notice if there was a clock anywhere in the room when you had your vision? That would give us a hint as to whether it has already happened or not? If it hasn't there is a chanc
e we can get her to go to the hospital and be more prepared when the time comes. Visions are not set in stone, different choices can change the outcome. Sometimes I like to think of them as crossroads. One direction leads to what you see, and the other leads to another reality altogether. Though the second option is an unknown and may sometimes even be worse than the original. In the version you saw, the baby lives and the mother dies. If we interfere it is possible that it goes the other direction, or even that both die, are you willing to take that risk by interfering with the natural order of things? That is always a chance we take when we reveal the gift to those who seek our help. We cannot guarantee a positive outcome to a negative vision; just because we detour one end does not mean that another just as horrible is not waiting. I have learned over the years to be patient and think carefully before attempting to change or interfere with anything that I have seen. It may just be her time."
"It is a gift, but a gift that comes with a heavy price tag and a tremendous emotional burden. It is yours to contend with and you cannot change that. Just as it is mine, call it a curse or call it a gift, the choice is yours, but the end result is the same. Sometimes you will be able to do wonderful things, sometimes you will feel responsible for terrible things." Rissa gives Amber a tight hug and puts her to work stocking incense containers to get her mind off of the vision. She knows this will be a hard one for Amber and is really trying to leave the decision not to interfere up to her. Rissa fears the girl will fly off and try to fix things that are far too broken.
Rissa knows much more about the situation than she is telling Amber right now. She has seen into the heart of the man, and knows what caused the first miscarriage, she knows what caused this one as well. The man does not want a baby at all, he is angry with his wife for having conceived again, he thinks deep down that it is not his child and he has been beating his wife for years. His aggression is going to peak when she begins crying again about the baby. She wants him to love her, to hold her, and comfort her but the man who was capable of those emotions left long ago. Amber has seen the aftermath from the experiences of the wife, Rissa has seen the outcome from the perspective of the husband and his version is far more disgusting. His rage will cause him to strike his wife, hard across the face, she will fall against the edge of the coffee table. He will panic when the blood begins pouring down her legs. But not before he gets in a couple good kicks into her side. He wants to kill the baby, wants to destroy the creature that takes his wife's attention away from him. He even wants to destroy her for a brief moment. But as soon as he sees the blood he feels remorse and fear over what he is doing.
The baby will be left at the hospital and he won't want to have anything to do with him. He will be adopted out and live a happy life without the cruelty of the man he might have called father, had his mother lived. Rissa knows Amber will have to make her own decisions based on what she can see and perceive. She will have to go with her own instincts, so she holds back this information.
Something about the man bothers Amber and she doesn't feel comfortable with what she has seen, there is something more there that she has been missing. The woman doesn't even look at her husband through the entire ordeal, she even pulls her hand away when he attempts to take it in the ambulance. Amber feels the fear and anger within her and realizes that she is blaming him for her pain. He has done something, hasn't he. She knows in her heart, she will not be able to change anything. Letting a single tear fall from her eye, she says goodbye to the woman she has never met. She pushes the ghost away and out into the world to join the universal energy and find her rebirth. In this moment of clarity Amber feels free of the vision, free of this woman's pain and suffering and free of guilt for not stepping in to save her. She takes a deep breath and joins Rissa to finish the day cleaning up the coffee station.
Rissa breathes a sigh of relief. Amber has found her own way of freeing herself from the dark energy of the vision. She seems to be relaxing back into her positive mood and is going about her day with a smile. Perhaps she has far less to learn than the circle predicts. Amber is not the helpless child they perceive her to be. She is powerful and controlled with a gentle and giving personality. Rissa cannot imagine there is any chance Amber will choose to serve the other side. She is too good a person. Rissa has seen the power corrupt others before and it is a very ugly process, but each started off with a darker personality. The circle has given her the task of watching over Amber's development ensuring what she becomes is not a danger to the cause. Rissa will do what she must to ensure that end.
When the busywork is done and the day is wanes into it's pre-evening calm, Amber begins the walk home with much on her mind. Running through the vision again and again she relives each moment, as she holds them in her minds eye they begin fading away into unrecognizable ripples like watercolor patterns against her own reflection in the pool of her mind. She has no choice but to let them go, her mind has its own protection mechanisms and seems to be functioning well toward that purpose. It will not allow her to be tortured by every vision, she can choose to act or not to act in the moment without being burdened with the weight of the memories afterward. For that small blessing she is thankful.
Amber chooses the solace of her whirlpool before making dinner, and the quiet of the evening air is a delightful escape. The sun is beginning to fade into the horizon and the birds and butterflies have not taken the hint it is time to go to bed. The scent of plants and earth is soothing to her and the slight vapor off the water forces her to relax. She leans her head back against the edge of the tub and looks up at the stars, there are thousands twinkling in the still rose and purple night sky. She stays and watches as the darkness spreads her velvet cloak over the world. Taking long and slow deliberate breaths she sends herself into meditation, clearing away the remnants of the day and opening herself up to the calm surrounding her. This place is amazing. She has found a home, a place where she fits, even in her strangeness. She is not alone here, there are others who understand her.
Amber decides to go in and get a drink of water, because her fingers and toes are becoming wrinkly and she feel a bit overheated. She downs a whole bottle before pouring herself a glass of the wine left from the night before. Deciding against dinner, she just eats a spoonful of ice cream before retiring to her room. She’s not hungry, the events of the day have seen to that. She has been through a stressful ordeal, but has come out on the other side. Amber feeling as if she has not slept in weeks, immediately drifts off as soon as her head touches the pillow. She does not even get up to brush her teeth; for her a rarity. She is emotionally exhausted.
Placing the box of Elizabeth's things onto his desk, James sits down with a cup of coffee to get to know the girl who died far too young. He believes if he knows each girl well, he will be able to find who did this to them. The journals hold the musings of a typical teenage girl. References to boys, and classes and teachers that were attractive. There does not seem to be much there, outside of the occasional philosophical pondering, to separate this girl from any other her age.
She did not have a computer of her own, there were no secret relationships or even any relationships at all where boys were concerned. Though she was definitely beautiful by any standard, she was a very religious girl who prided herself in maintaining her virginity and purity until the right time. She had visions of picket fences and the perfect husband by her side who would respect her and love her for the sacrifices she made to remain pure for him. She wanted to have many children and stay home doing what women should do for their families. Something had gone wrong in her plans.
The only potential lead he finds in the mix of writings are some references to nightmares she had been having near the time of her disappearance. She dreamt of rivers of blood, and children crying. She described a man towering over the women and children with blood dripping from his hands and his nakedness made her extremely uncomfortable. She could not understand what was causing the vivid and dark dreams. There were a couple passages
where she chastised herself for having forbidden desires. She felt the dreams were punishment for unclean thoughts. But there were no names, no specifics to point him in the right direction. Only a foreboding that she had somehow known something dark and ugly was coming for her. The dreams seemed to him much less a punishment for her thoughts than a subconscious recognition that someone she knew had dark intentions for her. They had been a warning to her that something was coming.
In his mind he understands she had seen the man who had taken her long before he actually came for her. Her subconscious understood the danger immediately, yet her innocence turned the discomfort inward. Though it was a sad realization for Elizabeth, it gives James hope that the killer can be found. If she had truly known him ahead of time, someone had to have seen something that seemed out of place. He will have to find the right witness and make them realize what they saw out of the ordinary. Okay, so it’s a needle in a haystack and cases this old are already hard to handle, at least it’s something. He pulls the original evidence from the girl’s disappearance and begins searching through the interviews, suspects and family members for something that will make sense of her fears. Its well after midnight before James realizes how overwhelmingly tired he is and how much time has passed.
Awakening - Book of Fire (Blood Heritage #1) Page 7
