by Tara Brown
Ari winced imagining what it must be like for them all to have their lives changed against their will.
"Well we need to ask her everything that’s been changed and try to fix the things we can."
Ari closed her eyes trying to ignore the fact she desperately wished she hadn’t gone to the orphanage. It was impossible to wish away the happiness of the children even if it meant she screwed up everything else.
Her churchy brain full of the sweet Sound of Music styled comments just pissed her off more. She pulled herself up from her comfortable bed hoping Annabelle wasn’t watching her and crept to the window of the dark room. She pulled back the drapes and lifted the window. She crawled along the roofline looking out at the gray day. The depressing sight of the mist in the air and the low sitting clouds made her smile knowingly as she formed a plan. Her heart would break but at least her damage on the lives of those around her would be minimal.
She jumped down from the lowest point and ran along the property. She expected between the ghost, the psychic and two wolves she would never make a clean get away not to even mention the possibility of demons and angels. She moved silently feeling the training she didn’t realize the new her had kicking in and helping her. She was faster and quieter but also her eyes naturally darted about the forest out of self-preservation not defense. There were no walls in the new Ari, there was no pain and suffering. Her open mind showed years of advanced training in combat and many other things Ari couldn’t comprehend. It was like landing in the body of a spy. She smiling thinking about Jason Bourne as she ran to the road passing through the guards. She ran as fast as she could as the awareness of what exactly it was that lived beyond the guards was suddenly in the back of her mind.
Her legs pumped hard as her lungs expanded allowing the air to energize her. The runners high was instantly boosting her. She was stunned by the feeling of the maintained runners high.
She pushed the thought of Lucas out of her mind desperate to convince herself that everyone would be better off.
She ran to the bus stop and caught the bus to downtown. The ride was filled with feelings she couldn’t explain. She felt apprehension of leaving Lydia's even if it was really the only home she had but she was relieved to be away from the chaos of choosing Lucas and hurting Ben. Her chest hurt thinking about Lucas. She couldn’t bear the thought of being without him after they'd just worked everything out but at the same time she couldn't imagine tearing him and his brother apart.
She recognized the area and hopped off the bus at the next stop. The neighborhood was fancy. She looked at the huge houses, some even had gates and driveways so long you couldn’t see the house from the street.
She walked up the road looking for the house she remembered deep inside of herself from her previous memories from the angry Ari. The house was huge, it looked like a hotel. It was as big as the orphanage. She walked up the driveway to the front door. Her stomach did circles making her nauseous. She took a deep breath and walked up to the huge wooden door and knocked.
A woman wearing a black and white maid uniform came to the door. She had dark hair and looked about forty-five. She smiled at Ari expectantly, "Can I help you?"
Ari smiled back, "I'm looking for Vince."
The woman looked at her suspiciously and nodded, "Come in. Stay here and I will get him. Who should I say is here?"
Ari frowned, "My name is Ari." The question sounded ridiculous. The woman nodded and left the room.
Ari stood in the front entryway of the massive mansion and waited for her uncle.
The maid returned and pointed down the hall, "He'll meet with you in his study."
Ari smirked imagining her uncle with a study. She followed the woman down a wide and elegant looking hallway to a large arched entrance. The study was more like a living room but it had a large wooden desk in one corner.
Her uncle stood seeing her walk in. He looked much older than he had in the desert. His new life must have been very hard on him.
"Mr. Pastern this is Miss Ari. Can I get you something to eat or drink?"
Vince shook his head just as Ari did and the maid vanished.
Her uncle's eye revealed his awareness of her existence. Pain and curiosity filled his eyes, "Ari what a wonderful surprise." His voice cracked slightly.
She wanted to cry and run to him like she had as a child whenever she had hurt herself or was scared. He didn’t look the same as he had, his cold stare prevented her feet from budging.
His smile faded, "You look just like her."
Her heart broke, "You're lying. I know I don’t look like her. I know only my hair is like hers."
He looked confused, "How do you know what she looked like?"
She swallowed hard, "You'll never believe this but there was once a world where my mother begged you from her death bed to keep me and raise me as your own. She told you to move far far away and leave the city for my safety. She begged you to love me as your own. In that world you did as she asked. You raised me and loved me like a daughter."
His face cringed in defiance as anger filled his voice, "You couldn’t possibly know any of that. I don’t owe you anything."
She shrugged, "I don’t want anything from you except an answer. Who was my father?"
His lower lip trembled, he wasn’t the man who raised her. He was weak now. He ran a hand through his fluffy hair, "He was some man your mom met at the bar she was working at. He had a British accent. He was tall and fit. You have his eyes, black as night. I only met him once."
Ari gulped suddenly realizing she knew exactly who he spoke of, "Dorian?"
He nodded, "Yeah that was his name. Anyway he was gone long before your mom even knew she was pregnant. Her pregnancy was bad, she spent the entire thing in the hospital." His face hardened, "I tried to convince her to abort the, well the baby but she wouldn’t."
Ari felt her face revealing the pain in the story her uncle never spoke before. He had loved her then and would never have hurt her that way.
"Why was she in danger? Why did she tell you to run with me?"
She paced around the room, "She started to go crazy, she was delirious and kept saying that something evil wanted the baby. Like some doomsday end of world bullshit. You were poisoning her."
Ari flinched back feeling her hands heating up. She wanted to send him back but her world was such a mess she didn’t dare try that again. As much as she wanted to be in the desert with him hugging her again instead of telling her she murdered her own mother.
She took a deep breath, "What did you see? I know you saw something." Her uncle had run with her to the desert and never looked back, he'd lied about where they were from. She knew he had done it out of fear.
He looked at her wildly, "You, you were different. I saw you. She gave birth to you and the doctors had to work on her. They gave you to me. I saw it then. You never cried, you looked at me and you knew me. I saw the world in your eyes. I saw what was about to happen. I saw her die and then the doctor came out of the room and told me she'd died. I saw a man in a trench coat walking down the hallway looking for her. It was so fast. Suddenly the doctor came out of the room and said exactly what I'd seen in your eyes. I knew then she was right. Something evil was looking for you. I hid you at the orphanage hoping god would protect you."
She watched his panicked face as she walked toward him and pulled the pinkie ring off her middle finger. She placed it on the desk. She nodded and walked from the room.
"Where, how did you get that? I thought I lost it."
She spoke not facing him, "You did."
"Where are you going?"
She turned around to see the fear in his face, "You abandoned me as a baby afraid of my world." She shook her head, "It hasn’t gotten less dangerous."
She walked back the way the maid had brought her and walked from the huge house. She wished things could be the way they were but she knew so much more about herself and she knew the truth. No matter how bad things got she was grateful for t
he truth. The truth hadn’t killed her it had made her stronger. She knew she was a fighter for the first time. She was a Rose. Her finger felt bare without her uncles ring but the Roses ring meant more now that her other lives were gone forever.
She got back on the bus feeling a fire inside. Dorian was her father. She had a father. He didn’t know, he couldn’t know. He was always so kind to her there was no way he could have left her alone in the world knowing she was his. How could he have if her mother disappeared? She wondered if he looked for her mother? She smiled thinking about him as her dad. She looked out the window at the seedy area the bus had arrived in at the exchange. She got off the bus and walked to angry Ari's old hood. She looked around at the buildings, she hadn’t seen them since the change inside of her occurred. She saw them differently, the religious Ari saw them filled with hope and possibility. She couldn’t help but let the infectious happiness and positive attitude of the newest Ari fill her.
She took a deep breath knowing she was stronger than anyone else in the building, no mere human was strong enough to hurt her. She walked to the floor where she knew Mila and Selena shared an apartment. She'd shared with them too once a long time ago. The dark halls smelled of varying types of food and a stink that only comes from a building where decomposition was a regular occurrence. People, food, rodents, everything had rotted within the walls at one point or another.
Seven zero seven was their apartment. The door didn’t have the scratches that it should, the scratches she recalled making. Her memories were false, none of it had happened. Selena and Mila would never remember her. They would hate her instantly. They would never let her in. They would try to hurt her. Instinct would tell them the clean stranger at their door was probably a young cop.
She knocked and took a deep breath.
She heard footsteps behind the door and muffled voices.
The knob turned, "You gots to have the wrong apartment bitch. We don’t deal and even if we did we wouldn’t deal to some dumb college bitch like you." Selena answered the door skinnier than Ari remembered her being. Her dark arm was covered in track marks.
Ari reached a hand out faster than Selena could comprehend and grabbed her by the throat so she couldn’t make a move. The push came out slowly preventing Selena from screaming. Ari stepped into the apartment taking Selena with her. Suddenly the picture filled the dark hallway of the entrance to the apartment. Ari closed the dirty door ignoring the screaming Christian inside her mind.
Selena was eleven, she was walking home from the store for her mom. A man came up to her and showed her a picture of his lost dog. He looked so sad. She agreed to help him look. Suddenly she was in a trunk, she threw up she was so scared. He pulled her from the trunk and dragged her to a trailer out in the woods. She ran away from the trailer when she was thirteen. She knew the way home, she walked home scared and starving but they were gone. They'd left her behind.
Suddenly she was back on the sidewalk and the man asked her to help him look for the dog. She screamed as loud as she could and ran just like her mommy had told her to do. A man came out of the store and grabbed the man. The police came and asked her questions. Her mommy held her and kept her safe and they took the bad man away. Selena walked down the aisle smiling at her mommy and squeezing her dads' hand. He gave her to the handsome man in the military outfit. Selena smiled at the man and faded.
Ari sobbed silently as Selena vanished leaving behind a white pebble. It floated in the air for a second and crashed to the floor rolling away from Ari. Ari knew it was the magic pebble Selena had told her about once. Every night when she was held captive she made a wish and rubbed it, praying for either her life to end or the opportunity to get away.
"Selena what the hell, who was at the door?" Mila stormed out of her room in nothing but underwear and a tank top. She frowned angrily at Ari, "Who the hell are you? Get the fuck out of my house."
Ari's hand went up to Mila's throat the same as she'd done to Selena to prevent her from screaming.
Mila tried to struggle for a second but went still as the air sparkled. The air around her filled with a picture. Her mom passed out on the couch with pills around her. Her father screaming at her mom and Mila hiding under the table watching. She closed her eyes and prayed, she might have been twelve. A knock at the door broke the noise. A woman came in. She yelled at Mila's dad and looked under the table at a frightened young Mila. She offered her hand but Mila looked at her mom on the couch and shook her head. She couldn’t go with her aunt and leave her mom. Her aunt left. Mila was starving, she needed food. Her stomach hurt, she took the pills from her mom and ate them. She needed the pills. She left school and ran away when the pills ran out.
Suddenly she was back under the table. When her aunt put her hand out Mila took it. She hugged her and pulled her away from the house. She went to a small but clean apartment. There was food and hugs. Mila faded into the picture where she was standing over a dying man in nurses uniform. She stroked his hair and spoke soft words to him as he left. A silver ruby earring hung in the air. It had been the only thing Mila had from her old life. It had been her mothers. Ari reached for it as it tumbled to the ground and rolled near the white stone.
Ari collapsed onto the floor in a pile of tears. She remembered their pain for only the second she allowed herself. She knew she could roam the streets for years sending everyone back if she allowed herself to feel the pain everyone felt.
Chapter Twenty-Two Which is Worse Pride or Prejudice?
Aimee
She looked at Shane and smiled, "You've been writing him for a year and half pretending to be me?"
He nodded as he walked up to his truck, "He was so sad Aims. He was getting to a dark place. Alise left with dick and he was so alone. I couldn’t take it."
She pressed her lips together, "Thank you. Thank you for everything."
He shook his head, "I didn’t do it for you. He's the only family I really have."
Aimee frowned, "Your dad and mom?"
"My mom killed herself Aimee and my dad remarried that girl. My sister took a job in Sweden and left me here. My dad has a new baby boy so I guess that does count as family for me."
She gasped, "Oh Shane I'm so sorry. I had no idea."
He looked hurt, "How could you? Where have you been?"
She looked down, "I'm so sorry."
"Get in the truck Aimee."
"I cant."
He opened the door and looked at her like he would rip her head off. She nodded and climbed in. She looked up at the window at her father waving and smiled. She waved back. She had told him she needed to talk to Shane but would be back.
Shane got in the truck and started it not looking at her or speaking. He drove in awkward silence.
"I'm seeing Aleks." She said it not thinking.
He flexed his jaw processing it, "I don’t care. No wait I do. Do you love him?" He looked at her.
She shook her head, "Not the same way I love you. I just put you in a pile of things I can't have. My dad, you, Alise, Giselle. Things I can hurt are in that pile."
He slammed on the brakes, "AIMEE WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING? YOU THINK WE DON’T HURT EVERYDAY WAITING TO HEAR FROM YOU? NO ONE HAS BEEN SAVED PAIN BY YOU IGNORING OUR EXISTANCE!"
She cringed feeling the tears slipping from her eyes. Like a floodgate the tears poured from her face.
He sighed pulling her into him. He smelled like ocean air and deodorant and the wind. She took a deep breath and let it be everything she wanted. She pulled away from him and smiled.
"I need to end this with Aleksander." She winked herself out of the truck.
She looked up at Lydia's house dreading the conversation she was about to have.
She walked up to the house seeing Aleks coming out the front door, "Hey." He smiled. He was so handsome, everything about him was as if he had been made just for her. His dark blond hair and white blue eyes made her knees weak but his voice was like listening to her favorite song. She knew he
had the same effect on every woman he met but she liked to pretend it was just for her that he existed.
She smiled weakly, "Hey."
He sighed, "What?"
She bit her lip trying to keep a small amount of distance from him, "Look, uhm in Ari's world before, when she knew us before, I was with Shane. Lucas told me Ari was the one who accidentally got Shane and I back together."
He nodded, "I know."
She watched his face start to break and hated herself, "It feels like the right way things should be. If I was with him before and I never killed him and I'm able to let him in my life again without hurting him it's what I want."
His devastatingly handsome face remained stoic as he was with everything excluding her, "If that’s your wish then I wont try to change your mind. I never knew I'd played second fiddle all along. I thought you chose me. How foolish of me." He was gone leaving her surrounded by the warm wind. She took a deep breath feeling relief mixed with the sickness.
She winked herself home to her dads and knocked on the door.
He opened smiling still shocking her with how much he'd aged.
"Hey sweetie, come on in." He held the door open for her.
She walked inside and hugged him as hard as she could. She ignored the heat in her hands craving his life force. She ignored the pain she'd brought him trying to protect him and she just held tightly to him.
"Daddy. I made a mistake."
He laughed, "With Shane again is it?"
She laughed, "Always."
He pulled her back, "Well lets have a little Austen then shall we and you can tell me all about it over some tea."
She laughed, "Sounds great."
"I did get a new TV. Blake bought it for me for Christmas last year."
She smiled, "That's Blake. Do they come and visit?"
He shook his head, "It’s a long way and a lot of money."
She nodded, "Pride and Prejudice?"
"Yes I do like that Darcy fellow."
"I missed you dad."
"Me too kiddo."
Chapter Twenty-Three- Death By Jazz Hands
Ari
