by Kim Linwood
As soon as the word “marry” escapes my mouth, what was intended as just an offhand comment hangs in the air like a neon sign. Harry narrows his eyes at me, and Nora blinks while her mother beams.
Fuck.
17
Nora
Junior slobbers all over my fingers as I slip him a piece of prosciutto. I wipe them off on my napkin and smile at Mom, who’s eyeing me suspiciously.
“A Navy man, hm?” Dad grunts at Payne.
He nods and holds up his plate politely for Mom so she can slap down another piece of lasagna. “Yes, sir.”
I’m not sure if he’s that fond of her cooking, or if he figures the more he chews the less anyone expects him to say.
“He was a SEAL,” I supply helpfully, more than happy to keep the conversation off myself. This is the longest I’ve been at my parents’ house in a while without having to defend my job. Let someone else defend theirs for a change.
Payne shoots me a look that screams traitor. I smile and bat my eyes.
“Really?” Dad seems genuinely surprised. “And now you’re… what did Nora tell us? A freelance photographer? Excuse me for saying so, son, but that seems like a strange sort of career move.”
“It was always an interest of mine, and it lets me travel. See new places. Meet new people.” Payne glances my way out of the corner of his eye, and I can’t stop the little bubble of warmth that brings a tiny smile to my face. “It isn’t something I planned, but it passes the time.”
Dad nods, but he doesn’t look convinced. I’m not surprised, because neither am I. All I know about the SEAL program is what I know about every Special Forces group. They’re badass, and they do stuff way over my pay grade.
Military, police, FBI, CIA, whatever. Name any organization like that and you’ll find a subsection of people who are driven to go farther and do more.
That’s not me.
All I ever wanted was to work a beat. To be part of a neighborhood, and help make it a better place. To put on my uniform, and show people that we’re not all bad. That most of us are just doing the best we can, every single day, to leave the world slightly better off than it was before we went to work. It’s not as exciting, but these days I think the world needs us every bit as much.
But when I look at Payne, I see the officers who go that extra step. The ones who go undercover and wear someone else’s face, someone else’s life, for so long that you can see they aren’t quite themselves anymore. As if they’ve forgotten exactly who that is.
Payne looks like that when he relaxes enough to let the charming horn dog act slide. I know that’s part of him, and I don’t get the feeling he means me any harm, but I’m not sure I can trust him.
I’m not sure he trusts himself.
Who am I to judge? After yesterday, I’m not sure I trust myself either.
“So how’s your new assignment going?” Mom pushes to break the silence. “Your father told me you’re working with an alderman? That must be exciting.”
Dad’s attention swings back to me. Awesome.
“I don’t know about exciting, but I’m sure learning a lot.” Yeah, like about how my boss seems to have it in for me, and the guy I’m supposed to be protecting is probably connected to the Mob.
“You’d be learning more if you had a partner.”
“Dad—”
He holds up his hand to cut me off. “Don’t. This isn’t about your skills. It’s about how fucked up that whole department is, and don’t even try to deny it. I swear to God, Nora, if I even get a hint of you being in danger, I will pull every string I have to get you out of there. Palmieri had no right to—”
I put my glass down on the table with enough force to rattle my plate. “He’s my boss! He gets to tell me what to do. It’s his job.”
“He’s an asshole, and you shouldn’t trust him for a second.”
Mom gasps, and Payne’s hand reaches out under the table to rest on my thigh in silent support. I take a deep breath and focus on the warm weight of his palm.
“This was your department, Dad. Why can’t you just be proud of me?”
A storm cloud of furious anguish passes over Dad’s face. “Because I’d rather have you hate me than give a proud speech at your funeral.”
My stomach twists, and Junior whines unhappily, his tail thumping against the floor. “You can’t let what happened to you rule my life. Mom and I knew every day that when you left in the morning, anything could happen. Well it did, and now it’s your turn. Not so easy, is it?”
Dad slams his fist on the table, rattling way more than his own plate. “I never asked you to avenge me or save the world or whatever the hell you think you’re doing.”
“It’s not all about you!” My chair scrapes against the floor as I jump to my feet. “It’s not always about you!”
“Nora…” Mom says softly, her hand reaching across the table towards me.
I ignore her, this has been a long time coming.
Dad makes as if to stand up, forgetting that he can't. The pain in his eyes right at that moment cuts through me, but I can't back down on this.
He snarls. “How can it not be about me? You’re my daughter, working in my old department! If it was any more about me you’d be driving my car and sitting at my desk. Pick somewhere else, anywhere else and I’d be the first to congratulate you.” Dad grimaces, and looks away. “But I’ll never be alright with what you’re doing now. That road leads down one of two paths and I don’t want to see you on either one.”
Before yesterday morning I might have felt nothing but righteous indignation, but ever since starting to work for Palmieri I’ve felt my blinders slowly slipping away, and now I’m left looking at a world I don’t think I understand.
But it’s my world now, not his, and I’m not ready to give up on it.
“Thank you for dinner, Mom. I love you guys, but I think it’s probably best for me to go.”
Payne puts his napkin on the table and braces to stand. “Thank you both for the invitation. Dinner was perfect.”
Mom gives him a sad little smile. “It was our pleasure.”
Dad snorts.
I put my hand on Payne’s shoulder. “I’m going to go, um… clean up. Meet you by the car?”
He nods, looking up at me with an expression I can’t quite read, but there’s no judgement in his clear, green eyes.
Five minutes later, we’re on the highway, Payne fiddling with the music until something suitably melancholy for a wasted Sunday swells from the speakers. I let it curl around me, nursing my hurt. The display flashes Little Lion Man, and by the halfway mark I stab at buttons with my heart in my throat.
Payne brushes my hand away and something new, something angry and crashing pipes out of the speakers, washing the uncomfortably raw feeling away. He glances at me while he shifts. “Too loud?”
“No. It’s perfect.” I close my eyes and lean back into the seat. The bass thrums through the seats and I can feel it in every inch of my body.
“I can turn it up if you need a little more vibration.”
“Fuck you, Payne.” I say without much feeling behind it.
He sighs. “He means well, you know.”
“If he didn’t, it wouldn’t hurt so much.” I turn my head and stare out the window, refusing to look at the man beside me. The one who hasn’t earned the right to make comments about my life, but whose opinion holds unwanted weight.
“Is he right? Is there trouble in your department?” His voice sounds just a touch too unconcerned.
“No.” The word is out of me without even thinking about it.
The answer I give myself is different. Yes.
But it’s like being in a sinking boat and not knowing which leak is the dangerous one.
He doesn’t push, just makes a noncommittal sort of noise in his throat.
“Payne?”
The car shifts lanes, and the vibration of the music is joined by a surge from the massive engine. “Hm?”
&nbs
p; “You’re coming in when we get back, right?”
“I don’t know… am I?”
This is the absolute wrong time to make this decision, but fuck it. I need to not think for a while.
“Yeah. Yeah, you are.”
18
Payne
“If you hurt my daughter, I will do everything in my power to make sure it’s the last thing you do.” The look Nora’s father gave me after she and her mother left the table will be burned into my brain for a long time.
“Sir, I’m—” Being interrupted was a relief, because I hadn’t been sure what to say, or what defense I could possibly have made.
“Don’t insult me, kid. If you’re a photographer, I’m a goddamn marathon runner.” The humor in his words had fallen flat against the deadly seriousness on his face. “I don’t know what the fuck you’re up to, or who you’re doing it for, but that girl has enough worries. Whatever it is, keep her the hell out of it, do you hear me?”
I got out of there after that, before I made a promise I didn’t know if I could keep.
I pull up in front of our building and let Nora out so I can find a place to park the car. There’s finally a spot about a block away, but I don’t mind. I welcome the bite of the wind on the cold walk back. Her dad has no idea how much I wish I could make that promise. Not only is she as tangled up in this messed up job as a kitten in a ball of yarn, she’s an itch deep beneath my skin I can’t ignore.
You’re coming in when we get back, right?
Fuck.
Taking the stairs two at a time, I should go straight to my place, pack everything up and get the hell out of town. Move someplace warm. Get into security work or some shit. Buy a house. Pay taxes.
Die of fucking boredom.
Her door opens before I can even knock.
Nora yanks me in. Her jacket is off and her shirt is untucked. I let her pull me down for a kiss and she lets out a feral little growl that has my cock instantly standing at attention. Whatever conflict I feel about this woman ends at my waist, because just the feel of her against me has me hard as steel.
I pick her up and pin her against the wall, holding her up as she wraps her legs around me. The door slams shut with one kick of my boot, my mouth never leaving hers.
She nips my lower lip with her teeth. The tiny stab of pain only makes me hotter. I grind myself hard against her as she works off my jacket. There’s nothing but clothes between us, and those are getting fewer by the second. The movement of her hips urges me forwards. She needs this as much as I do.
I pull away, breathing hard.
She looks up. “You’ve had the tour. What are you waiting for?”
Far be it from me to turn down a lady in obvious distress.
I pick her up and she clings to me as I carry her to the bedroom. Practically tossing her onto the bed, I chase after her until I’ve got her beneath me. For a moment our eyes meet, burning with lust, before we tear at each other’s clothes. Buttons pop and seams rip. She might be small, but damn, she knows what she wants and isn’t afraid to go for it.
Good, I’m done waiting.
Her hands tear at the hem at my shirt, tugging it upwards with desperate urgency. I pull it up and off, tossing it to the side of the bed. She does the same, a sexy lace bra quickly joining our shirts on the floor. She’s fucking perfect.
I want all of her at once, but I have to start somewhere. I kiss her lips, then taste my way down the smooth line of her jaw, into the hollow of her throat. My tongue traces her pulse, and my teeth leave little red marks as I gently devour my prey.
Across her collarbone, between her breasts. My whole body slides down over hers as I make my way lower and lower.
I hold the plumpness of one of her breasts in my hand and go in for a taste. She moans deep as I suck her sweet nipple into my mouth and swirl my tongue over the taut peak. Her gasp urges me on, and I play, first kissing, then tugging gently with my teeth. A whimper escapes her as her fingers tangle in my hair.
I don’t know why the fuck she wants an asshole like me here, but I’ll take everything she has to give and make her beg me to do it all over again.
The only reason I pull away is so we can get naked.
The last of our clothes hit the floor, and we take each other in, memorizing the vulnerable maps of each other’s bodies. Her fingers skirt the ugly scar that slashes across my thigh, and her mouth finds the tiny, scattered white battle scars that dot my chest.
A small, hot tongue flicks across one that rests near my nipple, and it doesn’t take long before my cock jerks against her hip as she works the tiny nub to a hard point. “You have no idea how long I’ve wanted to do that,” Nora murmurs in a throaty whisper.
“It can’t be any longer than I’ve wanted to do this.” Urging her back down on the bed, I return my lips to the valley between her breasts.
Her eyes flicker shut and her stomach rises and falls quickly in time with her breathing while I kiss my way down lower and lower, very slowly. There’re no marks for me to find, no story of violence to soothe away. I can’t promise to keep her away from danger, but silently, I vow to do my damndest to make sure her perfect skin stays as soft and unmarked as it is in this moment.
What happens to her heart, only time will tell, but I know neither of us will walk away unchanged.
I urge Nora’s thighs apart, and with only the slightest hesitation, she gives. The first feel of my breath on her pussy makes her hips jerk. Looking up, I find her big brown eyes watching me and her lips parted in anticipation.
Fuck, I've got to get in her.
But first she needs to be good and ready, because if this never happens again, I want her to feel it for as long as possible. It’s not going to be sweet, and it’s not going to be fucking gentle.
It’s going to rock her goddamned world.
“I'm going to make you come so hard you scream.” I lean in closer, my nostrils flaring at her intoxicating scent. I grin up at her. “It’s a good thing your sexy upstairs neighbor isn’t home. He’d probably call the cops.”
She raises herself up to rest on her elbows, following me with her eyes as I approach her glistening center, but as soon as my tongue makes contact with her swollen clit, she gasps and drops to lay flat on the bed, her legs hooked over my shoulders. “You’re lucky teasing isn’t a crime, or I’d call them myself.”
Everything about her, her scent, her taste, her smooth, wet skin, all of her, has me so hard the blood throbbing through my cock fucking hurts.
I part her with my tongue, sliding it through her dripping folds until I find her clit and suck it into my mouth. She rewards me with a deep-throated moan as I work it like I did her nipples. Her hips raise in eager grinding motions, pressing herself against me.
Smooth thighs trap my face while her fingers twist in my hair, pulling me to exactly where she wants me. Like everything else, Nora throws herself into sex with an eager honesty I’m not sure I’ve ever experienced in my life. I want to wrap myself in it and chain her to me so she can’t take it away.
Mine.
For a brief moment I consider pushing her over the edge with my face between her legs, but no. The first time, I want to feel her go tight around my cock and taste her scream against my lips as she comes.
All of her underneath all of me.
Pulling against her hands until she lets go, I move forwards until I can feel the heat of her against the head of my cock. She moans in frustration with a dazed expression on her face until she senses the contact and her hips shift to take me in. Fuck, she's so goddamn sexy.
It’s a measure of how fucking lost I am that I almost take what she offers. My hesitation breaks her out of the spell between us.
She slaps frantically at her bedside table. “Condoms. Drawer. Now.”
I sit up and flex, enjoying the way her eyes are drawn straight to my cock. Just as I reach, her soft fingers wrap around me and give a tentative stroke that makes me shudder with pleasure. Her palm slicks over t
he head, spreading pre-cum around the sensitive crown.
“Nora…” My voice is strangled.
“Hm?” She strokes again.
“Loaded weapon.”
She giggles softly and her thumb teases my slit. “Maybe I like living on the edge.”
Desperately, I yank the drawer open, finding a strip of plastic wrappers. I tear the first one off, but while she's touching me like that, it's fucking hard to back away from her hand. I toss the wrapper at her. “You want to play? Put this on me and I’ll lead you to the fucking edge and make you fly.”
With a huge dose of determination and willpower, I ease back onto my haunches and watch as she carefully opens the little packet and sheathes me. She wraps her hand around the base and tugs me back to her. This time I grab her hands and pin them above her head. It only takes one hand to keep her there, and I take a moment to drink her in, her lust softened gaze, the flush of her chest and the spread of soft brown waves that fan out on the pillow behind her.
Sliding down just a hair, I use my free hand to aim and nudge my tip into her entrance. Her lips part in a gasp as she takes me inside. I cover her mouth with mine, and as our tongues meet, I push.
19
Nora
All the tension, frustration and straight out lust that’s been building between us crashes away as he sinks into me. There’s no room left for any of it, because all I can feel is him, filling me up until there’s nothing else. We groan together in exquisite relief as he slides home, and his hips meet mine.
Stretched to my limit, I moan deep in the back of my throat as Payne holds himself motionless over me to give me time to adjust. My arms strain against his hold, but not because I want to be free.
I want more.
Wrapping my legs around his ass, I use what little wiggle room I have to fuck myself on his rigid cock. “Payne…”
Fierce, green eyes watch me from under a short fall of thick, dark hair. His expression is a mask of thinly held control.
