There was, however, a big part of me that felt like I should make an effort to attempt to have something with Jared. There was another part that felt like I had tried enough.
What it really boiled down to was the same thing that had bothered me from the beginning. Matt had called me out on my feelings for Jared our first night together, and for the first time, I was really facing them. Was I attracted to him? Oh, sure, you cannot look at a man like Jared without feeling something. But did I love him? He told me he thought I did. Matt had asked me why I was allowing myself to fall for him—but I wasn’t, really. I cared about him, sure, and on some level I loved him, but I was not in love with him. Furthermore, how could I even contemplate the idea of being with Jared if I couldn’t trust him? The episode with Carly (who Meghan had informed me had a terrible reputation) had really opened my eyes to his true character. It was as if he was trying to blow his chances with me on purpose. I definitely didn’t trust Jared now. And, as I stared into the mirror, I knew that the sad truth was I never could. I could forgive him, sure; I had done that already. But trust was something else.
Yet here I was, immediately trusting Matt, feeling like he was someone I could lean on, someone who could support me. “And I need all the support I can get,” I murmured aloud.
“Talking to yourself again?”
I turned and glared at Matt. “Don’t you ever knock?”
“You shouldn’t leave your door open. You never know who will walk in.”
“I see the dire consequences of that. You’re right, as always,” I smiled at him. “You look nice.” He had gotten rid of his khakis for some nice dress slacks and a green shirt that complemented his eyes. I hopelessly adored Matt, but I was not insensible of how unappealing I was at this point. After all, I was carrying the child whose father was his sworn enemy. The baby weight probably didn’t help either.
“Thanks. We need to talk before your guests arrive.”
“Okay,” I acquiesced, sliding into my silver flats. “What’s up?”
“Shouldn’t you wear your boots? It’s going to be cold.”
“I’ll be fine,” I smoothed out my skirt. “Now what did you want to ask me?”
“How many people are coming tonight?”
“Well, Jared, obviously, and his mom, and Meghan.”
“You didn’t invite anyone else?”
“No, I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but I don’t have any friends.” I couldn’t help myself, I was grinning at him again.
He nodded. “Okay, so if anyone else comes up, I am going to assume that they’re hostile, and you will do what I say at that point.”
I rolled my eyes and looked away. “You’re a bit ridiculous.”
“And you need to take me seriously, Anabel,” he lectured.
I faced him then, trying not to be defiant. “I do take you seriously, Matt. I take you so seriously that I have followed everything you have told me to do to the letter. I haven’t been alone with anyone outside of this house. I have not contacted Jared, despite the fact that I have received ten million text messages from him. I finally have a BlackBerry,” I cracked, “and I do not use it because you told me not to. So, I think you could give me a little credit.” I sat down on my bed and stared at my feet.
He dropped down on the bed next to me. “Look, I realize you’ve gotten used to a certain degree of autonomy since you left Caereon, and I understand that imposing all of these rules on you might seem a little harsh, but it’s—”
“—for your own good,” I chorused with him. “Oh yes, I’m very used to everyone telling me what’s for my own good.”
“Don’t be mad at me over this,” he sighed, sounding weary.
“Oh good, another command.” Why was he sitting so close to me? His arm was mere inches away from my own, and I could feel the heat from his body. I swallowed. “What else can I do for you?”
“I’m here to take care of you, Anabel, not the other way around,” he intoned, his voice low. “I just need to know that, if the time ever comes, you’ll follow my directions to the letter.”
I gave him what I hoped was a patronizing stare. “Matt, you do a better job parenting me than my father ever did. Of course I will do exactly what you say. I care much more about my daughter than I do myself, and I would never do anything to cause her harm.” I rested my hand on my belly, and felt pleased when Emma moved. “See? She agrees with me.”
“Is she kicking?”
“Yeah, do you want to feel?” But I didn’t let him answer. I took his hand and placed it on my belly.
And Emma went crazy! She started kicking and moving around at a rate I had never felt before. “She likes you,” I smiled at Matt. “She doesn’t do that for anyone else.” I wondered if my daughter could tell that my heart was aflutter.
“That’s incredible,” he commented, sounding awed.
“I’m pretty excited about her,” I said.
“Even though this wasn’t your decision? I’m sure you’ve heard this from more than one person, but I’m a bit surprised at your choice. Most rape victims don’t keep unintended pregnancies.” His hand was still on my stomach. I decided to do everything in my power to keep it there.
“Well, when I first found out I was pregnant I was scared. And angry as well. Alexis and Sam both told me I should get an abortion. It was more like they pressured me, to be honest. But then I thought, my mother got pregnant young and unintended, and she kept my brother. And look at Sam! So I knew then that I couldn’t do it. Every part of my body was resistant to that idea. And then I thought about how hard it was for me when I was growing up, and how I had desperately wanted real parents. Then I thought, I could be a real parent to my child, and that was when I fell in love.” I smiled at him. “Alexis and Sam think that I’m crazy, but I don’t care, because this is truly what I want. I talk to her all the time and I tell her how happy I am that she is coming, and how we are going to have so much fun once she is born.”
“Even though she is Jared’s child?”
“Even though she is Jared’s child,” I acknowledged. “He’s a different story.”
“Well, you cannot avoid the fact that half of Emma is Jared.”
“No, you are right about that,” I admitted. “But she is my daughter and I am not going to let the fact that she has him as a father change how I feel about her.”
“So, what, you’re not in love with him anymore?”
“I was never in love with him in the first place. I realize that, now that I have a basis for comparison,” I admitted, looking at him.
Of course, doorbell rang right then. We stared at each other for a moment, and then I managed, “Matt.”
“I shouldn’t have asked. Forgive me.” He got up and walked out, and I had to fight back tears. The fact of the matter was, I wasn’t good enough for Matt, and he and I both knew it. I wanted to call Sam right then, but instead I plastered a fake smile on my face and went down to meet Jared’s mother.
She was not at all what I expected. Jared and Meghan were both tall and lithe, but Aurelia Sorensen was five feet two and looked so round and comforting that I immediately hugged her with no introduction.
She held me at arm’s length. “Remarkable. You really do look just like your mother.”
“Um, thank you,” I stammered.
She turned to her son. “You used to have a huge thing for Cassidy, didn’t you?” She looked at me with a conspiratorial smile. “He watched that one movie where she played the princess over and over again when he was about ten.”
Jared flushed, and I couldn’t help but laugh. He put his arm around Aurelia. “What is it about mothers that they always try to embarrass you?”
Meghan kissed my cheek. “I don’t think I told you this last time, but I have to say, this is a pretty swank pad, Annie. I really like it.”
“Yes, this is where my father and mother lived before they divorced. “I haven’t spent much time in any room except for my bedroom. It’s a bit hard for me to think about the tw
o of them making memories here.” Oh good. I had made everyone feel awkward. “So! We’re going to the Cheesecake Factory? That sounds promising.”
“We should go,” said Matt, out of the shadows. “I called ahead.”
“Oh, thank you for taking care of that,” I smiled at him.
His expression did not change. “I needed to make sure they would give us a table which would be strategically placed.”
“Well then,” Jared stepped in. “Should we head out?”
“Anabel and I will follow you,” Matt announced.
Jared looked like he was going to protest, but I shook my head at him. “It’s pointless to argue with him, Jared,” I explained. “I have tried, and somehow I keep losing. This past week when we didn’t have hearings I begged him to take me sightseeing, but he just slammed doors in my face.”
Meghan laughed and linked her arm through her brother’s. “It’s just as well. We can’t all fit in my Prius. I have too many boxes in the backseat.”
I gave her a grateful smile. I knew she was doing her best to diffuse a difficult situation, and I admired her for it.
We got into Matt’s truck, and I shot him a sideways glance. “Please don’t make this difficult. I know that you don’t like him, but—”
“I don’t like him?” he repeated. “Did you really just suggest to me that I don’t like him?”
“Matt, come on,” I implored. “I told him I would meet his mother. This is not by any stretch of the imagination easy for me. You told me you needed me in on this with you, and, well right now I really need you in on this with me. Whether you like it or not, we’re a team. At least until this whole ‘who murdered my father’ thing gets resolved.”
His eyes searched mine, and he nodded. “I’m sorry. I sometimes forget that this is just as hard on you as it is on me.” He then turned up the radio, and I knew our conversation was done. But it left me biting my lip, smiling.
So we got to the Cheesecake Factory, and I was happy to learn that they made guacamole to order. “This,” I mentioned to Meghan, “is something I could get used to.”
“Don’t end a sentence in a preposition,” came Matt’s voice in my ear.
“My bodyguard is bossy,” I confided to Aurelia.
“It’s the DC area, dear. It makes them all think that they’re in charge.” I really liked Jared’s mother.
I grinned at Matt and looked back at her. “I suppose so.”
She turned to Matt. “How’s Geoffrey doing?”
“He’s fine,” he responded, sounding surprised. “I didn’t realize you knew him that well.”
“We go back a bit,” she shared, with a wink at me. Definitely liked Jared’s mother. Especially since Matt looked thrown off; I had not been aware that that could happen.
Aurelia smiled at me. “So tell me a little bit about yourself, Anabel.”
“I don’t know if there is anything about me that is still sacred, given the fact that it seems I have read and reread my life’s story in all of the papers,” I professed. Still, as we munched on appetizers I chatted with her about my childhood on Caereon, my beloved governess, and my love of books.
“Whatever happened to your books, Anabel?” asked Jared.
I felt tears prick at my eyes again. “I fear I am going to have to replace almost all of them. As long as the investigation is going on, they remain on the island, since it is still a crime scene. And of course, I’m not allowed to go back, and I cannot imagine someone going all the way out there just to pack up and ship my books. I cannot even begin to fathom how much time, and expense . . .” I trailed off. “I’m just afraid that they’re going to close the facility and just destroy them.” This thought really disturbed me. “The only book I was able to save was my copy of Emma that had the map in it from when we escaped.”
“How did you escape?” asked Meghan. “You haven’t touched on it in the hearings yet.”
“Well Jared saved me, of course,” I said, my voice growing quiet.
He was devastatingly handsome, which was really throwing me off tonight. The low lights in the restaurant accented everything I had adored about his visage. The perfectly tousled hair, the alluring eyes, the sexy smile—all of it did nothing for my self-resolve. I looked down at my food, willing myself to be strong.
“You keep saying he saved you,” Matt broke the silence. “But how?”
I considered Jared. “You know, I don’t even know how it happened. We didn’t really get a chance to talk once you convinced me my life was in danger. Why did you come rescue me?”
He looked at me, and I detected a trace of sadness in his eyes. “I had no alternative. I couldn’t let anything else happen to you, not after—”
“Why don’t you tell them, then?” I cut him off. “You know better than I.”
Chapter 37—Jared
I slept off my hangover and managed to pull myself out of bed in the early afternoon. My head was fuzzy and there was a distinct ringing in my ears, and I got into the shower to try and wash away my sins from the previous night. Bits and pieces were swirling in my mind, and the fact was, I was embarrassed that I had gotten so drunk. Seeing Jonathan Martin was definitely something I was not looking forward to. I was not due to meet him until six, so I let the water slowly massage me awake.
I didn’t feel right, though. Something was nagging at the back of my brain, and I thought about the glasses upon glasses of whiskey that I had consumed the night before, about Jonathan’s snide remarks, my anger . . .
And then I remembered Anabel.
“Oh, no,” I said, as images of the previous evening flashed in my head. Her screaming. The look of betrayal on her face. And blood. There had been a lot of blood. What had I done to that poor girl?
I knew I had to tell her father. Her relationship with him wasn’t exactly cordial, and she wouldn’t think that she could go to him. But after that mess I left her in, even though I knew full well he might try and kill me; I had to think about her. She shouldn’t have bled that much. I cringed at that thought. She might need medical attention, and I doubted she would own up to Jonathan what had happened.
So I quickly dressed and walked down the hall to his office. What was I going to say, exactly? I don’t know. “Mr. Martin, I’m sorry, I got drunk and raped your daughter, and she may need a doctor?” I was so screwed, it wasn’t even funny.
As I approached Jonathan’s office, I noticed that something seemed amiss. The hall was deserted. Getting closer, I noticed that the door was slightly ajar. When I pushed it open, my jaw dropped.
Jonathan Martin was lying on the floor, with no fewer than four gunshot wounds along his spinal column.
I raced over to him and flipped him onto his back, frantically feeling for a pulse. I then realized there was nothing I could do. His eyes were glazed over, and my guess was he had been dead for at least half an hour.
It had been apparent from Charlie’s warning that Jonathan had enemies on Caereon, but I had no idea that someone was considering killing him. I wondered that I hadn’t heard gunshots, but then I remembered someone commenting that the office was soundproof.
I punched the wall, having no idea what to do. You didn’t exactly call 911 on a Top Secret island.
That was when my thoughts went to Anabel. If someone had killed her father, they might be after her. Swallowing hard, I got to my feet and sprinted out of the room.
I ran down the long hall to her room, and my heart stopped when I saw the door was open. I took a moment to pray to God that she was okay, and when I pushed open the door . . . she wasn’t there.
The room was a mess though. Her clothes—all of them—had been thrown onto the floor. The bloody rug, a sordid reminder from last night, was covered in bed linens. Books were thrown all over her library. Either Anabel had had the mother of all temper tantrums, which I doubted because I don’t think she would’ve thrown her books around like that, or (and this was what I didn’t want to even consider) someone had already been here.
/>
I had to find Anabel. I had to know she was okay. I wandered down the corridor for a long time, looking in rooms, but I didn’t encounter anyone. About half an hour went by and with each passing step I grew more and more hopeless and concerned about encountering the most-certainly armed murderer. Finally, I hit a dead end, a spiral staircase that looked like it went up to the attic. I kicked the wall in frustration. Sighing, I turned away to go back, but then I thought better of it and quietly walked up the stairs.
By some miracle, she was there, asleep on top of an old couch. It was, I guessed, the most tranquil moment she had gotten since last night. So I hesitated. At the same time I knew it wasn’t safe for us to be here, so I walked over to her and gently touched her arm. “Anabel, hey Anabel,” I whispered.
Her eyes fluttered open, and she looked confused. “Jared?”
“Listen, something bad has happened—”
That was when recognition spread across her face, and her eyes hardened. She sat up and pushed away from me. “You!” She stood up and made for the staircase. “You get away from me. I want nothing to do with you.”
“I know,” I said, catching her arm, “and in any other circumstances, I would respect your wishes, but Anabel, something terrible has happened.”
She tried to yank herself away, but I was too strong. “Let go, Jared,” she demanded.
“No, I need you to listen to me.” I had to be calm; I had to hold it together for her.
“I don’t care about anything you have to say to me. If you don’t let go of me, I’ll scream!”
That was when I pulled her close and covered her mouth with my hand. She continued to resist, but she couldn’t break apart from me, a fact that flooded me with shame. “Listen to me,” I ordered her. “We need to be silent, Anabel, because your father is dead, and whoever killed him might come after you, too!”
I don’t think it registered with her at first. Her breathing stopped, and I loosened my grip on her. She wouldn’t run away from me now. She slowly moved out of my grasp and looked me in the eyes, horrified. “What did you say?”
“Baby, I’m so sorry—”
Anabel Unraveled Page 27
