I meandered into the kitchen, looking for something to do. Anything. My eyes settled on the stainless steel dishwasher. Perfect! I thought. I could put away dishes. That’s easy enough, right?
Well, it would’ve been if, prior to that evening, I had spent more than five minutes in the kitchen. It was an effort to go through all of the cabinets (did I really need so many?) and figure out which plate went where. Then I had to figure out where the cups went, because they apparently had a different home than the nice glasses. It also took me a fair amount of time to discern where all the silverware was housed. I was on a step stool, hanging the copper pots on the hanger, when I became conscious of someone staring at me from the stairs. I gasped and lost my balance, and in a flash Matt was there, catching me before I fell.
“You startled me,” I gasped.
“You idiot girl,” he said, with a calm rage that unnerved me. He set me down and put his hands on my shoulders, staring hard into my eyes. “What on earth were you thinking?”
“What do you mean? I—”
“That’s right,” he went on, ignoring me. “You weren’t. How do you think I felt, Anabel, when I woke up and realized you weren’t in your bed? Don’t you think it might’ve been a good idea to check in with me before you decided to go on a midnight romp in your underwear?”
“I wasn’t romping.” My cheeks were pink. “You know, this is my house. I can do what I want in it.”
“What if you had fallen, Anabel? What then? What if you had fallen and hurt yourself—or hurt the baby?”
I looked at him, stricken.
“You don’t think,” he continued. “You really don’t. Why are you awake right now, anyway?”
“I couldn’t sleep.” I stared at the floor, feeling miserable. “It’s the baby, she won’t chill out.” I swallowed. “I would never do anything to hurt her.”
“Hey,” he said, reaching to push my chin up so I would look at him. I allowed him to do this, but I wouldn’t meet his gaze. “Look at me.”
So I did. His eyes were compassionate. “I’m sorry, I overreacted. It just freaked me out when you weren’t in your bed.”
I nodded, and my cheeks were still red—but for a different reason this time. Matt’s proximity to me, the fact that we were both barely dressed (Matt was wearing his trademark boxer shorts without a shirt), and my growing attraction to him all combined to make my mouth go dry. “I’m sorry, too,” I whispered.
He shook his head and grinned at me. “What am I going to do with you?”
There was no denying it. I felt saucy. “Perhaps you should punish me,” I suggested. “For being such a bad girl.”
He raised his eyebrows at me, and I expected some sort of lecture, but instead Matt gave me an appraising stare. “Oh, Anabel,” he sighed. “You’re something else, you know that? But you know what?” he whispered in my ear.
“What?” I breathed, feeling my skin tingle.
He pulled back and became businesslike once more. “You need to go back to bed. Now.”
My jaw dropped, but I refused to let him bring me down. “Whatever. You and I both know you’re thinking about how you’d like to punish me right now.”
“To bed, Anabel,” he ordered. He took me by the shoulders again and spun me around.
I giggled at him as he hurried me up the stairs. “I’m just saying, if you think I deserve a good spanking, I quite agree with you.”
He slammed his door in my face.
“So that was when you knew I was the only one for you?” I asked, grinning at him.
“It was a bit much to come down and find you in your underwear,” he recalled, shaking his head. “I was having trouble controlling myself around you. Besides,” he commented, “there’s nothing more attractive than a woman in love with you.”
I blushed, glad it was dark. “It was that easy to tell, huh?”
“It was pretty adorable when you tried to hide it. It was even better when you didn’t.”
“Oh, Matt,” I reproached him.
“Oh, Anabel,” he teased back.
“So,” I wheedled, “can we do something tomorrow? I mean, I’m going to need to practice being out in public with you and pretending like I’m not infatuated.”
He sat up a bit. “What did you have in mind?”
“Could we go to a museum?” I begged.
He looked thoughtful, and then nodded. “If you can get your brother to send a car for us, yes, we can go see the Smithsonian. But I want you dressed as unlike yourself as possible, and no drawing attention to yourself in any way. You’re going to have to wear pants.”
I looked at him in mock horror. “Oh no, not pants!”
“You always wear dresses,” he explained. “Pants, sunglasses, the whole deal. Got it?”
“It’s a deal,” I agreed.
When we got back to the house I fairly floated up to my room. Matt did his now-routine thing where he looked under my bed and checked out my shower, but all I could do was sit on my bed and beam at him.
“Well, everything looks fine. Shall I wake you up around nine then?” He looked tired.
“Nine sounds fine.” I gave him an expectant smile.
“I told you before; those eyes do not work on me. Goodnight.” And he left.
Oh, but I did not care. I undressed and slid under the covers. I was in love and life was finally good.
Chapter 39—Anabel
Until suddenly I was screaming.
Jonathan stared blankly at me, and then he fell forward. “Daddy!” I shrieked, and stepped forward, but then I stopped when I saw the gun level at me. “You,” I said, disbelieving. “How could it be you?”
I don’t know how long I screamed, but the next thing I knew, Matt was in my room. “Anabel? What’s wrong? Are you hurt? Is something wrong with the baby?” he asked, his voice full of concern as he approached my bed.
“Matt? What’s going on? He killed Jonathan! He tried to kill me,” I whimpered, tears running down my face.
He sat on the bed with me and held me, and I began to regain control of myself. For several minutes I didn’t speak. It had seemed so real. I had really thought I was in my father’s office, watching Jonathan’s eyes as the life slowly faded from them. I shivered, taking a deep breath and leaned into Matt. “I’m so sorry,” I apologized. “You can go back to bed now.”
“Out of the question. You’re shaking, Anabel, come on and lie down with me.”
“Don’t let go of me,” I implored.
“Wouldn’t dream of it.” He slid under the covers next to me and held me until I stopped sniffling and steadied my breathing.
“I haven’t had the nightmares in a couple weeks,” I confided. “I had them when I first came to the States, and then I had a few back when I was living at Blair House, and then one at Meghan’s.”
“That was a pretty bloodcurdling scream,” he replied. “I was afraid something had happened to you. What was that about, honey?” He stroked my head.
I sighed, snuggling next to him, even though I was hindered by my belly. “It’s the same as before, just more vivid this time. You see, I’d been having these dreams, where I run down the hall, I push open the door, and then my father,” and here my voice caught again, “falls to the ground. His shooter points a gun at me and then—” I paused and gulped for air. “And then I wake up. Sweating and crying.”
“You dreamed about your father’s murder? Did you see who did it?”
“No, but it was weird, because the person felt familiar, but I could not see his face.” I sighed. “I talked to him in this version, I said something like, ‘I can’t believe it’s you.’ Look, I used to have these all the time, it is probably a residual.”
“Anabel, you don’t really remember too much before Jared found you, right? Sam told me that you don’t really know how you got to the attic in the first place.”
“I may have just gone up there to hide.”
“But you don’t know what you were doing up there.”
He was really persistent.
So I played along. “No, I was sleeping, or something—”
“What if,” he cut me off, “what if you actually saw it happen and your brain repressed it? And now you are having nightmares because your subconscious is trying to reassert itself?” Matt seemed excited.
“That would explain why someone was trying to kill me,” I admitted. “In the dream, I was convinced I was about to die.”
“I think we need to take you to a psychologist,” he suggested. “I will make arrangements for that in the morning.”
“Look, I know this is silly, but will you stay with me until I fall asleep?”
“I wouldn’t dream of leaving. Now go to sleep, Anabel.” He kissed my forehead, and comforted by his presence, I fell back into a lazy slumber.
I was rather startled when I awoke the next morning to find he was staring at me. “Oh,” I stammered.
He grinned. “I couldn’t leave you by yourself. I was afraid you’d wake up, and we’d have to repeat the whole cycle, so I just decided to stay. Besides,” he added, stretching, “this bed is incredibly comfortable.”
“I KNOW!” I said. He winced. “Sorry,” I lowered my voice. “Sometimes when I get excited, I—”
“Anabel, stop apologizing for yourself all the time. It’s getting really old.”
“Alright then,” I smiled at him.
“You know, I was thinking, while I was watching you sleep.”
“Oh, that’s not creepy,” I commented.
“You know who’s going to figure this out really quickly is—”
“Charlotte,” I finished for him. “I know, I thought about that. She’s been dropping hints pretty much ever since we moved in. Meghan made some comment to me as well. And Jared’s been freaking out every time you’re around. And even my brother wanted us to get together.”
“I suppose I should be honored. You should hear the way Sam talks about you. I think he thinks you’re his kid.”
“I’m not surprised,” I smiled. “He’s always felt like my parent. He certainly talks to me like I’m a child.”
“Well, you know, he only saw you about once a year, and watching you grow up couldn’t have been easy for him.”
I propped myself up on my elbow. “I know. So I suppose it’s a good thing he likes you, for all he despises Jared.” I buried my face into his chest. “Oh, Jared. He’s going to flip.”
He got serious. “I thought about what we said last night, but I don’t know if you can hide it from him. You probably should tell him.”
“I’m glad we’re of the same opinion on that one,” I sighed. “I’m just not looking forward to it, is all.”
“I would do it sooner rather than later, Anabel. He’ll be hurt.”
“Why do I feel bad about hurting Jared?” I wondered aloud.
“Because,” Matt murmured in my ear, “if you didn’t, you wouldn’t be you.”
Alas, our idyll was interrupted. Just then there was a knock at the door and Matt sprang out of my bed. It opened and suddenly Jared was there.
“Hey, I’m sorry, I know it’s early, but—” he stopped and took in Matt in his boxers and my horrified face. “Wasting no time on this one, I see.”
“This really is not what it looks like,” I told him. “I had another nightmare last night and Matt heard me screaming and he came in and fell asleep when I did. Or maybe it is just what it looks like, I don’t know.” I decided to omit our professions of love to each other.
Jared stared hard at me, and I returned his gaze without blinking. He looked conflicted, and he walked over to Matt. “I know why you’re doing this,” he growled.
“Yes, I am paid to be here,” Matt was calm.
“You still blame me for—”
“—something that is your fault, yes,” interrupted Matt. “It doesn’t have anything to do with Anabel.”
“It has everything to do with her, and you know it!”
“I’m not doing this with you, Sorensen. It’ll only upset Anabel.”
“No, we’re doing this now.”
I cleared my throat. “Um, guys, I am sorry to disturb you, but—”
“Stay out of this,” they both said.
“No seriously—”
“What, Anabel?” asked Jared, exasperated.
“No, but um . . . I’m...bleeding.” Horrified, I saw the stain on the bed.
Matt snapped into action. “Jared, call 911 for me. Sweetheart,” he said to me, “I need you to lie still, okay? Relax as much as you can”
I nodded, my eyes fearful.
“It will be okay, Anabel,” he said to me. “I promise you. Do you trust me?”
I managed to shake my head yes.
“Okay, thanks.” Jared hung up his phone and turned to me. “They’re sending an ambulance. They said not to move her.”
“Good,” Matt said.
My sense of right and wrong was weighing heavily inside of me. “Matt, can you give Jared and me a minute alone?”
He nodded. “I’ll go downstairs and wait for the ambulance.”
He left and we looked at each other. “I’m scared,” I whispered, my voice shaking.
“Oh Anabel,” he began, coming to sit by me, taking my hand. “It’ll be okay.”
“I can’t lose her, Jared, I just can’t,” I choked out.
“You know these things happen, it could be nothing,” he tried to comfort me.
I nodded, staring at my quilt.
“I’m sorry about last night.”
“It doesn’t matter now,” I replied.
“But it does, Anabel.” He looked away. “I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I’m afraid I’m going to lose you to Matt.”
“There wasn’t really much to lose, Jared.” I was annoyed that once again, he turned all of this around to be about him.
“I hate when you do that. I’m sick of you always cutting yourself down.” He ran his fingers through his hair.
“Why do you want me in the first place?” I asked him. “Seriously, Jared. Can you give me a good reason, besides the fact that you got me pregnant?”
He stared at me, dumbfounded. “I love you, Anabel.”
“Why?”
“I . . . just . . . do,” he managed.
“See, that’s just not good enough for me. I need a reason why. And believe me it pains me to say this, I think the only reason you want me right now is because you don’t know if you can have me. I’m no longer throwing myself at you, so suddenly I’m more alluring. And you always want what you can’t have, and that’s me at the moment.”
He looked stunned. “Is that what you really think?”
I nodded. “Look, I do think you care about me, I do. But you don’t love me, Jared. And if I were to succumb to you, I’m so afraid that you would lose interest in me once you had me.” I ran my fingers through my hair. “I need to be the center of someone’s life, and I would always worry that I wasn’t the center of yours.”
“Is there nothing I can say to you?” he asked.
I shook my head. “I’m sorry.”
He stood up. “Well then, I see that Sam has won.”
“Jared, no,” I began.
“I will see you at the hospital.” He gave me a hard stare, and then he left, and I sat there alone, fighting tears until the paramedics came.
Chapter 40—Jared
Matt and I were sitting outside her room, not saying much. We’d been there for over an hour and the doctor had kicked us out of the room so he could examine Anabel. When he finally came out and nodded at us, Matt and I both sprang to our feet.
“How is she?” I asked.
“She’s fine,” he told us. “Baby’s fine, too. She had some breakthrough bleeding, but her cervix is still closed and the baby’s heart rate is fine. She just needs some bed rest for the next week or two.”
I glanced at Matt, and his face mirrored my relief. “So when can we take her home?”
“Well, she’s dehydrat
ed, which may have contributed to the bleeding, so she’s going to have to stay here overnight. We’ll pump her up with some fluids and I’m going to have the nurse give her a very mild sedative—won’t hurt the baby,” he assured. “The best thing for her is to just get some sleep, and we can monitor her here and you won’t have to worry.” He glanced at his watch. “You can go see her now, but once she gets that sedative she won’t be too lucid.”
We watched him walk off, and then Matt turned to me.
“I suggest we watch her in shifts. Do you want to go first or second?”
“Aren’t you her bodyguard? I don’t really think she’s my responsibility right now,” I snapped.
“Maybe you should’ve thought of that before you impregnated her,” he replied coldly. “Look, I have to sleep at some point, and don’t pretend like you don’t care about her, because I know you do.”
“Okay,” I agreed.
“The thing is, you cannot—we cannot—leave her alone,” he continued. “I’m still not convinced that whoever got her dad isn’t going to come after her, and this is the perfect place for that to happen.”
“I get it. I’ll do first shift.” I looked down at my phone and saw Sam was calling me. “Oh great. With everything that happened I completely forgot that she and I are supposed to be in a hearing right now. Hi Sam,” I said into the phone.
“Where are you? Where is my sister? Did you do something to her?”
“Good morning to you too, Mr. President.” I didn’t bother holding back the sarcasm. “Look, we should’ve called you, but I forgot about the hearing.” Matt smacked his forehead. “So here’s the deal: Matt, Anabel, and I are all at the hospital. Your sister had some bleeding this morning and they rushed her here.”
Sam sucked in his breath. “Is she okay? Is the baby okay?”
“She’s fine and so is the baby, but I will not be making it there today and neither will she. Apparently she’s dehydrated, so they’re giving her some fluids and making her rest.” A nurse breezed into Anabel’s room, and Matt followed her. Anabel’s eyes lit up as Matt sat next to her and as he took her hand, my heart sank.
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