He looks at me, understanding that I need this today; we could all use a little prayer.
Especially the one who left us yesterday.
At eight-thirty in the morning they are dressed in their best clothes, shiny shoes, and even those who have hair have combed it.
I am like a mother hen as I inspect each one leaving the house.
Francis takes my hand and we all walk together to church. We could drive, but walking makes me think of Ma, and how much Dan loved to be pushed in his stroller every week.
I want to walk.
He holds my hand just like that first Sunday, only this time he doesn’t let go when we get to church. My family and myself file inside and sit down in the middle of the congregation. Choir music fills the air and the hairs on my arms stand on end.
It’s not a funeral, because Eiran is already in the ground, but it is as close as he will get. I have to shhh the guys a few times before the minister starts his sermon, and give them the eyeball when they mess about during prayers, but they will learn.
I see the shine of sadness and grief in Francis’s eyes while we stand and sing Amazing Grace. He fights to hold them in; his hand trembles in mine. His deep voice is low as he sings with all his heart, saying goodbye to his closest friend and a brother.
It’s not even a sound I hear, I feel it as a vibration as they join him in the chorus. Around me my family sing to a God that has forgotten us and this place for so long, but here in this second chance I see him again.
’Twas grace that taught my heart to fear,
And grace my fears relieved,
How precious did that grace appear,
The hour I first believed.
The piano music is clinking along with us, the chorus of grown men singing so loudly drowns out the soft voices of the choir ladies. The air moves with a power no person can explain, and in my heart I know they are here with us; everyone we lost to find this freedom.
He squeezes my hand tighter in his as the droplets fall down his dark cheeks.
Francis was never the things he did, he was just surviving, we all are. He hurts for what he did, I forgave him and I’m sure God will, but he will never forgive himself. And that’s why I have to remind him every day that he is a good person, he deserves to be loved.
Amazing grace, how sweet the sound,
That saved a wretch like me,
I once was lost, but now I’m found,
Was blind, but now I see.
We are no longer lost, we are free. We aren’t blind, we see. I know that tomorrow is a blessing, and today is all we have.
We all stay for tea after church. People treat them like humans and not criminals, and it makes me happy to see them like this, a part of society. It doesn’t matter what they did to get to this point.
When we get home after church and Francis and myself are alone in the room, he sits on the end of our bed with his head in his hands and I know that he saying a prayer.
I sit down beside him.
I will have to go to work soon, so I enjoy the quiet time with him.
Turning to face me is the man who came home from hell and managed to save us all. He is not beautiful to anyone but me, he is not handsome, he is just Francis.
“Dankie Engel.” Thank you Angel, he says to me with a soft kiss. “You gave me a family.”
He pulls me close and hugs me to him.
I know what love is, because this is it.
“I love you, Francis.”
“Vir ewig en altyd?” Forever and always?
I know what he means, he’s still afraid I will leave him.
“Vir ewig en altyd, Francis. Forever and always, Francis. No matter how long, or short, it is.”
THE END
Bad people are still people, sometimes they are just surviving.
Love knows no limits and isn’t just for the good people.
We all pay for our sins in the end, but we all deserve the love of a lifetime.
Acknowledgments
Twenty-Eight started as a seed, a little idea that just kept growing into what I call my passion project. It took two years of research, blood, sweat and a buckets of tears to write this story. I invested my heart and soul into making it perfect. I cannot name many of those who helped me, because I could potentially get them into trouble, but they know who they are and what their input, stories and time meant to me. Thank you to those who I cannot name, for letting me into this world.
Rick, for your constant support as I pour my heart and soul into each book. I love you and hope that our love shines a little in every love story I write. This book was hard and there were days it made me so sad, your hugs at the end of those days saved me from breaking my own heart and reminded me of what love and forgiveness are.
Poppet, you have become a special friend, someone I admire and look forward to working with so much. When I told you this book was a mess, but my heart wouldn’t let me go back and fix it, you took it and turned my mess into magic. When I was on the verge of tears over the blurb - again - you put all the feelings I had into something we could use. You calmed my panic and reminded me that this was special story I needed to tell. Thanks never seem enough, you have been a saving grace in my life when I really needed one.
Franky, you answered my questions and emails with honesty even when that was hard for you. You cheered this story on from the get go and listened to my rants and concerns, even allowed me to steal you as my character. Thank you, for your support, honesty and letting me have your ‘face’. I hope this story can change the opinion of just one person in this world. We are all human under the surface, and everyone deserves a happy ever after.
Jamie Johnson, my designated adult and the best PA any author could ask for. Thank you for your support even when I made you cry, for lifting me up when I was falling down and just keeping my shit together every day. I cannot adult without you.
This story required a very special Beta team, these ladies had their hearts ripped out more than once, yet they stayed by my side for what seemed like forever. Charlie Chisholm, Michelle McGinty and Culine Ramsden thank you for holding my hand through this process and for loving Francis and Engela like I do. You guys are the most special group of ladies and I can’t even begin to tell you how amazing it is to work with you.
Karen my book person across the ocean, this last year has been a rollercoaster for us both, but somehow we rode it together, with our hands in the air and screaming our lungs out we made it through to the other side of things. Thank you for listening to stupid ideas, reading random little bits of nonsensical story and for being my biggest fan and supporter from the very beginning. We’ve got this! No fears!
Di Covey, my twisted sister. There are days I want to just quit and run away, but you are always there to stop me. Thank you for being you, for supporting us crazy authors no matter what we write. For loving our words and characters like we do, you are a truly special friend and I can’t wait for the day I get to squeeze you again. Your passion inspires me to keep writing, because readers like you are waiting for stories like mine.
My Assassins, you have been so patient waiting on this story and have supported me as I took this emotional ride. I hope that the story touches your hearts. Thank you for coffee on Tuesdays and all the support you guys show me with every release.
To the people at home, Monique and Winnie and everyone in our little household that tolerates my crazy, reminds me to eat and helps make sure I have the time and space to write, thank you. I’d be dead or dehydrated without you <3
To the bloggers, PR teams and book-pimpers all over the interwebz thank you for supporting and sharing my books with the world. You guys rock!
My readers, old and new. Without you my stories would have no home, you are the reason I keep going. Thank you, each and every one of you.
About the Author
Bestselling Author Ashleigh Giannoccaro writes edgy dark romance and erotic horror, self published by choice she writes the stories others
don’t dare. Currently residing in Johannesburg South Africa with her husband and two daughters Ashleigh enjoys writing stories that make you fall in love with the unlovable and leave you asking questions. When not writing she can be found with her kindle in a sunny spot reading, or traveling with her family.
You can stalk her here -
@colourmyugly
Ashleigh Giannoccaro
mrsgiannoccaro.wix.com/ashleigh-giannoccaro
[email protected]
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