I hadn’t even realised he was there until I happened to glance up and noticed him standing in the doorway with his arms crossed, smiling affectionately at the two of us. Suddenly feeling shy, I smiled back and absently tucked a strand of hair back behind my ear.
“Doggie sleep with me?” Priya asked suddenly, looking back and forth between us.
I glanced at Michael, who shrugged. There seemed to be no good reason to deny her request, so I acquiesced. “Sure, sweetie. Call him to you. Say ‘come, doggie’ and clap your hands so he can hear you.”
“Come, doggie!” she promptly cried, clapping her hands enthusiastically. The dog’s ears pricked up. After she called a couple more times, he padded away from Michael’s side and went over to the edge of the bed, sniffing curiously.
“Now, say ‘up, doggie’ so he knows he has to jump up,” I instructed. Priya mimicked me obediently. After a few false starts and a little help from the humans, the elderly canine managed to get up on the end of the bed. “There you go. Now, you go to sleep and he’ll go to sleep as well.”
“Okies,” Priyanka answered agreeably. I leaned down and gave her a gentle hug, then she lay down and snuggled herself up under the covers. Michael and I said our goodnights to her and backed out of the room, closing the door behind us.
Then we looked at one another, and I found myself grinning. “So, what was that about a hot shower?”
***
Hours later, I awoke to darkness, my back snuggled comfortably against Michael’s firm, warm chest, his arms wrapped like a blanket around me. I could hear the sound of his breathing, slow and even on the back of my neck. Nature was calling, but I didn’t really want to get up. I closed my eyes and tried to go back to sleep, but the pressure in my bladder was too uncomfortable. As much as I wanted to stay in bed, I couldn’t.
With no other choice, I carefully extracted myself from beneath my sleeping lover’s arm, taking my time to avoid waking him. Although the room was pitch black, I’d left a torch beside the bed in case of circumstances like this. I fumbled in the dark and found it, then tiptoed towards the door.
The lights were all off in the hallway outside our room. I had no idea what time it was, except that it was night. Still, a need was a need, so I clicked the torch on and I crept along the corridor towards the nearest bathroom.
A few minutes later, I was on my way back to my room when I accidentally took a wrong turn and ended up in an unfamiliar corridor. Just as I was about to turn myself around and retreat back to an area that I knew, a strange sound reached me and made me hesitate. It was coming from around a bend in the corridor.
Always alert for trouble, I followed the sound until I reached the corner. When I peeked around, I saw a shaft of light cutting through the darkness. The sounds were coming from that doorway. They were strange, animal sounds, grunts and curses, and the sound of flesh striking flesh.
Then there was a woman’s cry, strange and strangled, that struck a chord of concern through my heart. I clicked off my torch and hurried forward, my bare feet silent on the cold concrete floor.
With as much stealth as I could, I crept up to the partially open door and snuck a look through. The sight that greeted me was the last thing that I expected. I was so stunned that I stopped and stared for a long second before I retreated and headed back towards my room. There was no one in that room that needed my help… but they might if Jim figured out what was going on.
Not only was his wife cheating on him, but she was doing it in spectacular fashion. I couldn’t even imagine taking on two men at a time, let alone big, strapping lads like Tane and Iorangi. One was more than enough for me. Her muffled cries and the look of devilish enjoyment on her face echoed in my head as I fled, trying to put the scene behind me.
I felt a little nauseated by the time I got back to my room. I hadn’t seen anything that intense since the one time Harry had convinced me to watch a pornographic video with him. Now, I was left feeling dirty. As I burrowed back into bed and hid safely under Michael’s arm, I tried to remind myself that it wasn’t my fault. I hadn’t encouraged her to cheat on her husband, and I’d only gone to look because I was afraid someone was being hurt.
Even snuggled under the warm, comforting bulk of my sweetheart’s body, it took me a long time to get back to sleep after that.
***
When morning came, I woke up feeling guilty and slightly soiled. Normally, my dreams were a happy place, filled with friends, family and the warm, sensual moments that I shared with Michael. After what I had seen the night before, my sleep had been troubled, filled with vague, shadowy human forms playing ‘the beast of two backs’.
Well, the beast of three backs, technically. That made it so much worse. In spite of my effort to suppress the outward signs of my disquiet, I shuddered at the thought.
“What’s the matter, sweetheart?” Michael asked quietly, just about scaring me out of my skin.
“Nothing,” I said quickly, but he knew me too well to let me get away with that.
“Really? I felt you shiver just then. It’s not cold, so that means you’re brooding.” He propped himself up on an elbow and leaned over me to switch on the light, so that he could study my face. “Ah-hah, just as I thought. You look like you kicked a bunny. What did you do?”
“I didn’t do anything,” I answered glumly; there was no point in lying to Michael when he could read me like a book, “but I saw something last night. I don’t know what to do about it.”
“What did you see?” he asked, gently capturing a strand of my hair and plucking it out of my face. I cringed, because telling him meant I had to think about it again when I was trying very hard to block it out.
“I got up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom.” I sighed, finding it hard to meet his eye. “On the way back, I got a little lost. I ended up in another part of the building. I saw… I, um…”
“Out with it,” he demanded when I hesitated a few seconds too long. My shoulders slumped.
“I saw Mrs Merrit shagging Iorangi and Tane. Now I don’t know what to do.” I buried my face in the pillow to try and hide my anxiety, but it was a pointless endeavour.
“Wow, that is a pickle.” I could hear the disapproving tone in Michael’s voice, but I knew it wasn’t aimed at me. “We should probably tell Jim— wait, Iorangi and Tane?”
“At the same time.” I lifted my head and turned to look at him. If I had to suffer, then so did he. It wasn’t that they’re unattractive people, but there was something so slimy about the whole situation. Even if it weren’t for the infidelity aspect, Rebecca Merrit was at least fifteen years older than the younger of the two brothers – that made her old enough to be his mother. An underage teenage mother, but still. The cheating aspect was worse though, and made me feel really sick. “Christ, what do we tell him? Do we tell him? Is it our business?”
“It’s our business now,” Michael answered grimly, his expression set in a look I hadn’t seen before. “If I cheated on you, you’d want someone to tell you, right?”
The logical side of my brain knew he was just using that as an example, but the irrational, emotional half heard those words and promptly went nuttier than a drunk wombat.
“Yes!” I exclaimed. “I mean, no, I mean—oh my God but you’d never do that, right? I’m not sure I could handle it if you—”
“Whoa, whoa, calm down.” Michael held his hands up in self-defence, a panic-stricken look crossing his face. “Where did that even come from? You know I’d never play around on you.”
“I know, but I don’t know – anything could happen. You might start to hate me one day, and then you might cheat on me and then… and then…” And then I burst into tears. The worst part was that I could actually see myself going nuts, and I knew it was completely and utterly without reason. It was like the rational part of me was looking down from above, watching my emotional side go into total overload, without being able to do anything about it.
Poor Michael lo
oked about the same way. His expression was one of utter bewilderment as he struggled in vain to comfort me. Neither of us could quite work out what was going on, until it suddenly hit me. My fit of inexplicable rage the day before, followed by the intense desire to screw his brains out, and now this? There was only one possible explanation.
As suddenly as they had started, the tears stopped. I stared at Michael with wide-eyes, not quite sure how to react. “Oh, my God. Honey, I think I’m premenstrual.”
“…What?” He just looked even more bewildered.
“Oh, um… hormonal. I think I’m hormonal.” Well, this was an awkward conversation to have with my boyfriend, but he did have a vested interest in that region of my body. “Like, seriously hormonal. As in, I think I’m going to get, um, ‘that time of the month’ soon.”
“Oh.” He stared at me for a long second before realisation dawned in his eyes. “Oh. You mean…”
“Yeah. I mean that.” As soon as I had a name for what was bothering me, I felt much better. Embarrassed, I summoned a weak smile for him and I wiped my eyes. “I’m sorry, I haven’t had one in years, so I guess I’m a little unbalanced. I think my body kind of forgot it was female for a while there.”
“Thank God, you had me panicking.” Michael looked so relieved that for a second I thought he was going to faint. “It’s okay, no harm done. That just means that you’re recovering and getting healthier again. That’s good news.” He smiled at me and gave me a hug, which instantly made me feel better.
“I’m so glad you understand.” I snuggled up against him, feeling relief like a palpable force. While I wasn’t looking forward to dealing with ol’ Aunt Flo again, at least I knew it was in the name of the greater good. “Actually, I’m glad I understand, too. It’s been so long that I had no idea what was going on at first, but now it all makes sense. You know I’m not usually this irrational. I think it’s just been so long that things are a little haywire inside me.”
“It does make sense, and it’s a good thing. I want you to be healthy.” I felt tender fingers running through my hair, and then Michael gently pushed me back to look me in the eye. “In the meantime, I know what will make you feel better.”
“For once, I’m sad to say I’m not quite in the mood.” I gave him a wry smile.
“What?” He blinked owlishly. “Oh! Oh, no, not that. I mean that I have a present for you.”
“A present?” This time it was my turn to look surprised. I thought about it for a second, then tilted my head curiously. “Is it food?” The moment the words were out of my mouth, I suddenly felt stupid. “Wow, I really am premenstrual.”
“No, it’s not food. It’s a real present.” Michael laughed and tickled my ribs, drawing a girlish giggle from me. Then he slid out of bed and rose to his feet, padding barefoot over to where our bags sat in a corner. He knelt beside his backpack and dug around in the pockets until he drew out a couple of small, shiny objects that I couldn’t quite make out from afar.
“What is that?” I asked, curiosity getting the better of me, but he closed his fist around the shinies before I could get a good look.
“Well, I had an idea. Something Anahera said got me thinking.” Michael returned and stood in front of me, dressed only in the boxer-briefs that he usually slept in, and the bandages over his wounds. Gazing down into my eyes, his expression turned serious. “Life is short and brutal. We really have no idea how long we’re going to have together. Either one of us could die tomorrow. If that happens, I want the world to know how much I love you.”
My breath caught in my throat as he eased himself down onto one knee on the ground in front of me. He opened his hand to show me his gift: a pair of rings. One was simple and delicate, made for a woman’s finger. The other was a thicker band, clearly designed for a man. Each ring was threaded onto a delicate silver chain. I stared at them for a moment, and then looked back up at his face. “But I thought…”
“I know. But, I also know that I want you to be my wife one day. No one says we have to get engaged one day and married the next. If we get engaged today then we can wait as long as we want to make that final step.” A smile touched his lips, just a faint ghost. “There’s more to what we have than just lust, and I think you know it as much as I do. You are my Yin. I want everyone to know it – and most of all, I want you to know it. Marry me, Sandy.”
Tears blurred my vision as he spoke, making the rings in his hand seem to dance and sparkle. His logic made sense – and he was right. What I felt for him was so much deeper than lust, deeper than anything I had ever thought I was capable of feeling for another human being.
“I don’t know what to say,” I whispered, feeling truly stumped for one of the few times in my life.
“Then just say yes. We’ll work out the details later.” He smiled adoringly at me as he held the rings. I sniffed and tried to blink back my tears so that I could see him clearly, but the harder I tried to keep from crying the more determined they were to come.
“I… I…” Part of me was mad at him for getting me all emotional all over again, but a bigger part of me was so thrilled by the idea. It felt so right. He was The One. Somehow, my instincts had told me that from day one, even if I had ignored them. Now, things had changed. I bit my lip for a moment longer, then drew a deep breath and nodded. “…Yes. Yes, I will marry you. Thank you.”
“’Thank you’? I wasn’t expecting that.” He laughed gently and reached up to place the delicate silver chain that supported my ring around my neck. As he leaned back, he trailed his thumb along the curve of my jaw. “No, sweetheart. Thank you. I don’t quite know how I know, but my gut tells me this is meant to be.”
“Mine too,” I agreed, fussily wiping the tears from my eyes. “It feels strange, though. I mean, marriage is kind of an archaic ritual now, isn’t it?”
“It is, yes. But I think marriage now will be different to what it was ten years ago. Everything is different.” His thumb followed my hands, brushing away a tear that I hadn’t gotten to yet. “All the rules that defined our society are irrelevant now. Now, we make our own rules. No one but you and I can tell us what our marriage is supposed to be.”
“That’s true.” The thought cheered me up. “First rule – I’m not wearing a big, stupid white dress. But there will be food, lots and lots of food. And lots of snuggles, too.”
Michael laughed merrily, and eased himself up to sit on the bed beside me. With strong, gentle hands, he dragged me into his lap and cuddled me close, a situation that I was more than happy with given the circumstances. Only once I was comfortably seated on his firm thighs did he take a moment to slip his own chain around his neck.
I found myself watching with interest as the ring it carried settled against his tanned skin. On an impulse, I leaned over and pressed a kiss against his collarbone right beside it. A surge of simple joy passed through me, and I smiled in spite of myself as he arms closed gently around me.
“This does feel right,” I murmured, snuggling up contentedly in his arms. “I… I want you to know that I only have eyes for you, Michael. I saw how nervous you were yesterday around all those other men.”
“Oh, you noticed that?” I heard him sigh heavily, and felt his fingers running through my hair. “I’m sorry, I was hoping you didn’t notice. I did feel a little, I don’t know… jealous, I guess. I caught Tane looking at you when you didn’t see, and I’ve caught Hemi at it a few times too.”
“There do seem to be a lot more male survivors than female. It’s bound to cause trouble one day, particularly with the likes of Mrs Merrit around.” I grimaced and tried not to think about the reason why there were more men still alive than women, but unfortunately I knew it well. I was one of the lucky ones, but many were not as fortunate. Without laws to protect us, women like me were vulnerable.
For a moment, we were both silent as we thought over that grim fact. An idea had been forming in the back of my mind, an unexpected idea but one that certainly had merit. It was too early t
o say anything to anyone, but the more I turned the idea over in my head the more interesting it became.
“We should probably go get this tree sorted,” Michael said, breaking the thoughtful silence. I sighed, but he was right. One step at a time.
***
By the time the sun cleared the hills, I was fed, dressed and out in the bush, picking my way carefully through the thick, verdant ferns. Richard and Jim followed in my footsteps, letting me break the trail for them. Jim’s arm was bound up in a sling, and Richard had insisted on carrying our gear, so it came down to me to lead. I decided that was the way I preferred it.
“Should be up there a ways,” Jim huffed, out of breath from our walk. It had been an awkward trek for all of us, because we were following the line of the river through the heavy bush. The ground beneath our feet was slanted down towards the water’s edge, so each step required careful balance. Every so often, a spot that appeared to be solid would turn out to be a mesh of twigs and leaf-litter that gave way underfoot, so I had to choose my path with care. Just to make matters worse, the ground was wet and slippery beneath us; as I’d predicted, it had rained overnight.
“When was the last time you came up here?” I asked, almost as out of breath as Jim was.
“Few years back,” he answered, “but we didn’t need it at the time, so we let it be.”
“Fair enough. Done that a bit myself,” I agreed amiably, trying very hard not to think about the bad news I might have to break to him at some stage. Michael and I agreed that we would try to gently probe him for information when we could, to get a feel for how he’d react. The last thing we wanted to do was put either of them in danger, even if we didn’t like what Rebecca had done. We were both keeping an eye out for the right time to do it privately and gently, and if the opportunity arose then whichever one of us was there would take it.
Jim mumbled something unintelligible in response, which I took to mean he wasn’t interested in casual conversation. I was fine with that; it was hard enough to focus on where I was putting my feet.
The Survivors (Book 2): Autumn Page 24
