Bittersweet Rain

by Sandra Brown

  “Who?” Haney tossed Caroline such a reproachful look that she lowered her head and answered, “I don’t know.” She went into the bathroom and closed the door, just as effectively closing the topic of Rink.

  When Caroline came down the stairs an hour later, Steve whistled long and low. Laura Jane clapped her hands. Haney’s expression was somewhere between concern and pride.

  “Man, that’s class!” Steve said.

  Caroline laughed and the three watching her were grateful for the fluting sound. She wasn’t given to laughter lately. “Do you like it?”

  “You look beautiful, Caroline,” Laura Jane said enthusiastically. “Oh, you’re gorgeous.”

  “She’s too skinny,” Haney grumbled, but lovingly picked an imaginary piece of lint from Caroline’s shoulder.

  “I thought as long as they’re going to talk—and they will—I would give them something to talk about. Besides, we’re representing the Citizen of the Year. We should dress the part.”

  Her two-piece suit was of cream-colored wool crepe. Her blouse was dove gray, almost the exact shade of her eyes. She had tucked all her hair under a soft felt hat the same color as her suit. Its low, dipping brim flirted with her brows. Her makeup was sedate and had been carefully applied to camouflage the violet shadows beneath her eyes. Pearl earrings were in her ears. Her stockings were pale ivory. She wore bone-colored suede pumps and carried a pair of matching kid gloves.

  “You all look spiffy, too,” Caroline commented as she surveyed them proudly. Laura Jane was in pale blue and looked like a collector’s prized doll. Steve was in his wedding suit, but Caroline had seen to it that he had a new necktie for the occasion. Haney, too, was in her Sunday best.

  “The carriage awaits,” Steve said, formally offering his arm to Laura Jane. “Lady Laura Jane, Lady Caroline.” He turned and she took his other elbow. “Haney, if you please,” he said, and they left The Retreat.

  The high school auditorium was jam-packed. No one remembered it ever being so crowded, not even when the commencement exercises had been rained out of the football stadium and moved into the auditorium.

  Caroline sat up on the stage, flanked on one side by her family and Haney, whose presence she had insisted on, much to the officials’ chagrin, and on the other side by those same officials.

  To keep her panic at bay, she tried to focus on the American flag standing sentinel in the corner of the stage. The stars seemed to buzz like gnats over the field of blue. The stripes waved. The flag was perfectly still.

  Caroline was sick.

  She glanced out over the audience and all she saw was a sea of swimming faces staring at her with avid interest. Diverting her eyes to her lap, she noted that her palms were shiny with perspiration. If she put on her gloves, her hands would be too hot, though now they were icy cold. She swallowed the nausea in her throat and wished that she hadn’t tied the bow at her neck so tightly.

  Her stomach was growling as it rolled from side to side. Why hadn’t she eaten those muffins? If she had, she would have thrown them up. But she was going to throw up anyway. She was going to disgrace herself in front of the whole town.

  Why was it so damn hot in here? Her skin was clammy. She looked around. No one else seemed uncomfortable. Steve and Laura Jane were speaking quietly to each other. Haney had found one of her church friends and they were gaily chatting. The mayor, against the rules of the building, was puffing on a cigar as he talked loudly and expansively to the county judge. The odor of the smoke turned her stomach.

  As she watched the mayor, he excused himself from the judge and went marching toward the back of the stage. “Well, well, we can get started now. I was afraid you weren’t gonna make it, boy. How are you, Rink?”

  Caroline swallowed and began breathing through her mouth with shallow pants that were supposed to control nausea. Her whole body went cold, then flushed hot. Her earlobes seemed to be on fire, they burned so.

  She heard his voice as he greeted those around her. From the corner of her eye, she saw Haney advancing on him militantly. He stopped the tirade he saw coming with a sound kiss on her cheek. She jerked back, as flustered as a young girl, then squeezed him in a bear hug. Laura Jane vaulted from her chair and ran to embrace him. Steve stood and the two men shook hands.

  Then she saw his brown pant legs moving toward her. He stood directly in front of her. She could feel heat and energy radiating from him. And because the whole town was watching, she drew her lips into a stiff smile and raised her head to look at him. “Hello, Rink.”

  Rink stared down at her and was only partially successful in hiding his shock. Her eye sockets were deeply shadowed. Her cheeks were gaunt. She was pale. She looked like she could stand about seventy-two hours of uninterrupted sleep and about five hearty meals.

  But she was beautiful.

  It took every ounce of self-control he possessed not to take her in his arms and hug her to him fiercely. The last two months had been hell. He could recount every miserable second of them because he had done nothing but think of her, miss her.

  Damn his temper. Damn his pride. He had gotten angry because two drunken jackasses in a tavern had shot off their mouths. He had taken out his angry frustration on her. This time, she had given it back tit for tat. That had both surprised him and angered him more. Mostly because what she had said had been right on target. Roscoe could no longer be blamed for keeping them apart. He was bringing this misery on himself, on her. He had left without a word. What kind of behavior was that for a grown man?

  For a man in love?

  Ah, but being in love made you mean and crazy. Love made you act like a fool even when you knew you were acting like a fool and couldn’t help yourself from acting like a fool. Love made you take a hand so cold it was shocking and say an insipid, “Hello, Caroline. You look lovely,” when what you wanted to do was throw your arms around her, beg her forgiveness, claim her as yours and defy heaven and earth to try to come between you again.

  Rink sat down beside her. The hem of his trouser brushed her leg and she circumspectly moved it aside. He watched her hands tug self-consciously on the hem of her skirt as she sat with rigid posture on the stage. God, she was precious. She was still the girl in the woods, the Dawson girl, trying so hard to gain approval. His heart ached with love for her. He wanted to shout at her, “What the hell do you care what they think of you? You’re head and shoulders above any of them.”

  Then it struck him that he was as bad as she. He wanted her more than he wanted to live till tomorrow. Yet he had let public opinion keep him from her. She had been his father’s wife. So what if everybody thought it had been a normal marriage? He knew better. And even if he didn’t…

  He turned to her so quickly he startled her into looking straight at him. Their eyes collided.

  He studied every feature of her face. He cataloged every minute detail. She was as beautiful to him as the first time he’d seen her. He loved her a thousand times more now than he had that summer twelve years ago.

  And he knew in a blinding instant that if he had had to go through eternity not knowing her true relationship with his father, he would still want her. He loved her to the exclusion of all else, more than he minded public ridicule, more than he resented his father, more than anything, he loved Caroline Dawson.

  “So I’ll now ask Mrs. Caroline Lancaster, Roscoe’s widow, to come to the podium.”

  Rink’s eyes flew to the speaker’s microphone where the mayor had just introduced Caroline. He hadn’t been listening to the flowery speech. Apparently neither had she. When the audience burst into loud applause, she jumped.

  Rink watched as she visibly collected herself and stood gracefully. She placed her purse and gloves on the seat of her chair, then walked to the podium with more poise than a queen bred to such ceremony. The smile she gave the mayor was tremulous and the audience took her evident emotion to be reaction to his speech. Rink scanned every face in the crowd. She needn’t have worried. They approved of her. />
  She accepted the plaque with one hand and shook the mayor’s hand with the other. Moving aside, the mayor offered her the microphone. “Roscoe would have been honored to receive this token of appreciation from you. I and all his family accept it for him and say thank you.”

  There was nothing hypocritical in her short acceptance speech. Everything she had said was the truth. She hadn’t added to the litany of praise the mayor had heaped on Roscoe. She had merely accepted the tribute in Roscoe’s stead. She had given these people what they wanted, a hero for the day. To Rink’s way of thinking that was well and good.

  He watched her turn. Her face was as pale as the bone china in the cabinet at The Retreat. She paused and closed her eyes briefly as she seemed to struggle for breath and equilibrium. She took another step and swayed. The mayor’s hand went to her elbow and he spoke her name.

  Rink bolted up from his chair. She looked toward him, blinking rapidly as though she were trying to focus on him. Then slowly her eyes drifted closed, her knees folded beneath her and she collapsed to the floor.

  A murmur of surprise and alarm rose up from the audience. Laura Jane cried out and clutched Steve’s hand. Haney cried, “Lord o’ mercy!” and clasped her hands over her enormous bosom. Those closest to Caroline surged around her, dropping to their knees on the stage.

  Rink, wild with fear, began plowing through them, shoving men twice his size out of the way. “Get away from her. Get—Move! Let me through. Dammit, get out of my way!”

  At last he reached her. He fell to his knees and grabbed her hand. It lay lifelessly in his palm. “Caroline, Caroline. For God’s sake, would someone call a doctor? Caroline, sweetheart. God, speak to me!”

  He clawed at the bow on her blouse and ripped open the first few buttons. He pushed aside her jacket, wreaking havoc on the expensive ensemble. The hat was whipped from her head and sent sailing. Her dark hair tumbled free. With smart, swift pats, Rink slapped her cheeks. Her eyes fluttered open and he gave a soft cry. “Just rest, darling. What’s wrong? What’s the matter? No, don’t talk. Someone’s calling a doctor.”

  “Rink,” she whispered, smiling drowsily and serenely. “Rink.”

  “You fainted, sweetheart.” Weakly she raised her hand and touched his cheek, his hair.

  As though on cue, those ringed around them raised their eyebrows. Someone was heard to mutter, “Well, I’ll be damned.”

  “You’re going to be fine. I promise. I’ll see to it.” Rink carried her hand to his mouth and pressed the palm against it. He gathered her into his arms so she was lying across his lap rather than on the floor. “A doctor will be here soon.”

  “I don’t need a doctor.”

  “Don’t talk. You fainted. It was the excitement, that’s all. You’ll—”

  “I’m pregnant, Rink.”

  Her soft interruption halted his rapid flow of words and he stared down at her speechlessly. She laughed softly at his blank expression. “That’s all that’s wrong with me. I’m going to have a baby.”

  Her eyes roamed around the curious circle of faces bending over her. The leaders of the community were all listening avidly as the drama that would feed the gossip-mongers for months unfolded before their very eyes. It was people like these who had labeled her and her family trash. It was these people she had tried to impress, whose approval she had made a career of seeking.

  Now she wondered why she had devoted so many years to such an empty goal. Her eyes went back to Rink’s. Golden eyes that had always stirred in her passion and desire and love. Placing her hand on his cheek, she said, “I’m going to have your baby, Rink.”

  His eyes shimmered with emotion. Tightening his arms around her, he bent his head and put his lips to her ear. “I love you,” he whispered. “I love you, Caroline.”

  Then, like a whirlwind, he surged to his feet, swooping her up into his arms. “Let us through. You heard the lady, she’s pregnant. I’m taking her home. Mayor, put out that damn cigar. It’s making me sick and I’m only the father, not the expectant mother. Haney, please get Caroline’s things there on her chair. Steve, if you would be so kind as to bring the car around, please. Laura Jane, are you okay? That’s my girl.”

  All the while he was issuing orders, Caroline’s head was resting comfortably against his chest. He maneuvered them through the crowd, assuring everyone that she was fine, that she had fainted from the excitement, the heat in the building and the lack of a proper breakfast. “I’m taking her home now to feed her and put her to bed. Everybody go on and have a good time. She’ll be fine. I understand pregnant ladies do this a lot.”

  He smiled down at her, and with the whole town watching as they left the building, she wound her arms around his neck.

  “Waking up already?” Rink leaned down and pressed a sweet kiss on her forehead.

  “Have you been here all this time?” She had fallen asleep with him holding her hand.

  “Every second.”

  “How long have I been asleep?” She stretched languorously.

  “Several hours. Not long enough. I intend to keep you in bed for the next few days.”

  Her eyes opened wide. “Just to sleep?”

  “Among other things.” He growled menacingly and hugged her tightly. For a moment he nuzzled his face in the fragrant softness of her neck, then raised his head to kiss her.

  His lips met hers with tender pressure. With his tongue he examined the seam of her lips lightly, and when they parted he pressed it deep into the sweet hollow of her mouth. Her arms looped behind his neck and she pulled him down closer.

  He surrendered to an urge he had suppressed for hours because it might disturb her. He stretched out beside her on the bed and held her sleepy-warm body against his. Their mouths played with each other. They couldn’t stop smiling. But eventually Rink did and looked down at her seriously.

  “When were you going to tell me, Caroline?”

  He was fully clothed, but his shirt was unbuttoned. She slid her hand inside and laid it flat against his chest. “After this weekend. If you hadn’t come home for Fall Festival, I would have called you.”

  “Would you?”

  “If I hadn’t, Haney would have.”

  “She knew?”

  “I think she suspected. And Steve. They hadn’t said anything, but I could feel them watching me all the time.”

  “It didn’t take me but one look to see that something was wrong. You’ve lost so much weight.” His hand coasted down her ribs to her hipbone.

  “The doctor said that was normal. I haven’t been eating much. What little I did eat often came up.”

  “Why didn’t you tell me? I don’t know whether to beat you or kiss you.”

  “Kiss me.”

  He granted her request. With his palm, he massaged her stomach. “My baby’s in there. God, what a wonderful miracle,” he said, hugging her boisterously. He kissed her again, a hearty kiss that mellowed to one of desire.

  His hand slid up to her breast. He had left her in only a silk slip when he had stripped off the rest of her clothes and ordered her into bed as soon as they’d arrived home. The silk was warm with her body heat. He filled his hand with her breast, pushing it up until it stretched the slip’s lace cup. He kissed her through the lace, taking teasing love bites of the firm flesh. “Caroline, will you marry me?”

  She sighed. His mouth closed hotly around her nipple and sucked. “How could I refuse? You have such a nice way of asking.”

  He raised himself over her, capturing her face between his hands. “I want you to know something, something I didn’t realize until today.” His eyes probed deeply into hers. “If you had been a wife to my father, I would still love you and want you for myself just as much as I do now.”

  He actually saw the tears welling up in her eyes. He watched as they overflowed and rolled down her cheeks. “I love you.” She caught the back of his head in her hand and urged it down for another kiss. “Yes, I’ll marry you.”

  “Soon?” he pr
odded. “It’s only been four months since Daddy died. People will talk.”

  She tossed her hair on the pillow and laughed. “After the episode this morning, that’s an understatement.” She gave her abdomen an affectionate pat. “I’d say the sooner the better.”

  “This week?”

  “Tomorrow,” she whispered and he smiled. “What are we going to do after we’re married? Where will we live?”

  “Here at The Retreat. I’ll have to shuttle between here and Atlanta for business.”

  “I’ll shuttle with you.”

  “Not afraid to fly with me?”

  “I’ve never been afraid to do anything with you.”

  That earned her another kiss. “While we’re here, what are we going to do, switch bedrooms every few nights?” he teased.

  “Why don’t we use your bedroom and convert this one into a nursery?”

  His eyes surveyed the room, then came back to rest lovingly on her. “My mother would have liked that.”

  Their mouths melted together again. “I can’t get enough of you. God, I missed you.”

  His furred chest moved against her breasts, still damp from his mouth’s caresses. His hand covered hers where it lay on her lower abdomen and pressed. The warm sensations of desire spread through her belly and thighs like melting butter. Feathering her lips over his throat, she purred, “Rink, take off your clothes.”

  “Damn!” he cursed and sat up. His cheeks were flushed and his pulse was pounding in his temple. “I can’t. We’ll have to postpone our reunion. I promised Haney I’d bring you down for supper as soon as you woke up.”

  “Oh, golly!” Caroline said, throwing off the covers and thrashing her legs to get off the bed. “I just remembered. We’re having company for supper.”

  “Company? Who?”

  “It’s a surprise. Find me something to wear.” She dashed to the dressing table, picked up a hairbrush and began to drag it through her hair. “Do I look like we’ve been… you know?”