Yet he looked at home as well, and she could feel strongly looking at him that this was truly where he’d come from.
“Mercury, I know what would make me happy. At least right now.”
His hand covered hers, and he didn’t pull it away. Simply sank in against her. “Heaven knows I could use that right now, but I’m done being selfish. The last thing I want is to give you something now that will cause more hurt in the end.”
“You can’t hurt me,” she said, unable to stop the husky note in her voice. She had to be close to him. She wanted to be close to him right now. “I know what I’m doing. I know what I want.” She leaned in, brushing her lips against his neck, making him catch his breath. “Please? We’re alone now.”
He let out a harsh breath, and she knew she had him. Quickly, he grabbed her shoulders and rolled her over. When he had her pinned, he looked up at the door behind them and shook his head. “No.”
Before she could say anything, he scooped her up and charged forward along a small path through the lush trees, lined with small, flowered shrubs that gave off an exotic, spicy floral scent.
Intoxicating.
They reached an opening where there was a patch of soft grass surrounded by trees, and he nodded. Then he knelt, laying her down in front of him, surveying her like a meal that he wanted to set out just right.
Their actual lunch was probably strewn by the door somewhere, but Marina didn’t care.
The hunger she felt now to have him inside her far surpassed any other. And from the burning glow deep in Mercury’s eyes, he felt the same.
Chapter 14
She was beautiful. Too beautiful for any man to be able to stand her. Too beautiful for any man to say no.
Even a man who knew he was worthless, that he’d long ago strayed too far from his purpose to ever be able to be redeemed.
He leaned down and kissed her forehead, sinking into the warmth between them.
The memories of this place had scared him, comforting, but not because he knew how he had changed.
Remembering this garden made him remember childlike innocence. He thought he could even remember a tiny Zinc running in front of him. Maybe voices. Were they his parents?
But oddest of all, he’d remembered his heart. For a split second, he felt the innocence that had once existed. The feeling of being loved. Something had existed before the blankness that followed the flaming wreckage, and it was almost too painful to imagine all he’d lost.
“I don’t know what to do anymore, Marina,” Mercury said, putting a hand on either side of her head as she lay there perfectly framed by the lush, blue-gray plants beneath her with their wide, soft leaves. Her golden hair spread around her like a sunset, and her blue eyes made him think of the oceans he would probably never see again.
Marina was right. Sometimes people had multiple homes. Mercury almost felt he had none, despite having two.
Looking into Marina’s eyes, stroking her hair back, maybe he was wrong. Maybe he did have just one home. Just for a little while.
He leaned down again, this time kissing her lips, but gentler than ever before. “All right, princess. Once more, I’ll give you what I want.”
She raised an eyebrow at him, a flush coloring her perfect features. He wanted to run a finger over her short, pointed nose, her full lips, her soft cheeks, the little dimple at the side of her mouth, memorizing all of her.
“What about what you want?”
He nipped the side of her lip. “I already told you, princess. I want you.”
She sighed as he licked her lower lip and then slid inside her, stroking her mouth softly, tentatively, wanting to make it last.
Their first time, he’d taken her fast, as if trying to make himself forget he was doing it if he just didn’t stop long enough to think.
Now he was aware of his feelings, for good and for bad, and he could take the time to be with her without running away.
He probably wasn’t capable of loving, but if he could, he’d love her.
Her arms wrapped around his back, and he resisted the urge to pull back. Being accepted, being wanted was still painful for him. After wanting it for so long and not getting it, he’d locked up his heart.
Having someone want him to open it now felt nearly impossible.
Still, he let her hold him because somewhere deep down, beneath the pain, it did feel good. And besides, she wanted to, and he didn’t want to hurt her by pulling away.
He finally cared about someone else’s feelings. Just one in the whole world, but he supposed that was progress. He would have to be happy with that.
Tomorrow, the tournament would wrap, and Marina would choose a final pairing and then her mate.
Mercury didn’t know what he was going to do.
“What’s going on?” Marina asked, her delicate fingers pushing hair out of his face, so gentle it made him want to break.
He closed his eyes against the sensation, pulling all feeling away. Then he opened his eyes, focusing on her and trying to stay strong. “Nothing. I’m sorry.”
“No, it’s okay. Just tell me,” she said.
“It’s just… There’s so much you don’t know about me,” he said. “I guess… I want to tell you. Before…”
Her eyes widened, but she stayed beneath him, looking up at him with accepting, sea-blue eyes.
“Before, you asked me about what I’d done,” he said. “I don’t have any excuses. I was rotten. I could have hurt a lot of people. I was blind with pain, with rage, but that doesn’t make it okay. Nothing does. But I’m ready to tell you more about me. I mean. Why not, at this point?”
She just looked at him, listening intently and looking so beautiful, her tunic pulled over one shoulder, revealing bare skin that he badly wanted to bite and kiss.
But not yet. If he didn’t get this all out now, it would be too late. After tonight, he’d have to give her to someone else. But just for now, he could let her understand him. How he felt, who he was.
And then he’d let her go.
“No one wanted me,” he said. “I was burned, I was lost, and I was so little.” He closed his eyes, remembering the pain and confusion. The memories were blurry because he’d been so young. Or maybe injured. Maybe Zinc was right about him hitting his head. “I somehow made it to a nearby village and passed out. I remember a meeting. Sitting in the middle of a village square while they argued. No one wanted me. I can still remember what they said.”
Her eyes welled with tears, and he wanted to stop. He hadn’t meant to hurt her, and he’d not even gotten close to the worst parts yet. “Marina…”
“I’m fine,” she said, swiping at her eyes. “I’m glad you’re talking to me. I’ve been wanting you to.”
“Yeah,” he said reluctantly. He didn’t know why, but he felt he owed her this. He’d never explained to anyone. Never wanted to. But just for her… “The blacksmith took me. He didn’t have any kids. He needed help in the forge.”
“But you were little.”
“Yeah. Well. He also needed someone to take his anger out on.”
“You don’t mean—”
“Yeah. Beatings. All the time. For not growing faster. For not talking enough. I was pretty quiet for about a year after the accident. I just remember feeling lost, like I was in a dream. He’d get angry, beat the shit out of me, and then be nice for a while. Then something would happen at the forge, and he’d do it all over again. No one in the town cared. No one listened when I tried to say something. They said I should be grateful that anyone took me in at all.”
He felt tears in his own eyes and wondered where they’d come from. He’d long ago lost the ability to feel pity for himself. He just felt hard as he remembered these memories. “I saw other kids with their parents, and I wondered where mine were. What was wrong with me.”
“You didn’t even know you were a dragon.”
“How could I?” Mercury asked. “No, I didn’t know that until I was about twelve and getting beaten
up in the woods by the forge. I was an easy target. No one wanted me around. They still considered me bad luck. A burden. The blacksmith had been trying to get rid of me, as I was getting old enough to start talking back. And then something amazing happened.”
“What?”
“I set them on fire,” Mercury said. “One minute they were surrounding me; then next they were on fire, screaming. They were fine, as they dropped and put it out, and I was too shocked to attack further, but everything changed from that moment.”
“Yeah?”
“I realized I could hurt those who hurt me.” He rolled his lips. “I paid a visit to the blacksmith. He was hurting someone, a girl from the village. I put a metal spike right through his heart. That was the first time I killed. It was easy.” He felt darkness well up inside him at the memory. “All the times he’d hurt me, my soul, my heart, my body, it all came together in the moment of his death. I didn’t even feel remorse. I just packed up my shit and left.”
“He deserved it,” she said, angry.
“Maybe. I just know I was done inside. I was tired of being alone. Of no one standing up for me. When I saw I had powers, I realized I would have to fight for myself. From then on, I went from town to town, watching for signs of people like me. During the day, I stole or worked for what I could. During the night, I trained and trained, focusing on my powers like long-forgotten memories. I suppose now I know why. Who knows what I knew before I left Drakkaris? But on Earth, training all alone, I found a purpose.”
She nodded, waiting for him to go on. This was where it got painful. Where everything had gone wrong.
“I worked so hard, all so when I met my kind, I would be ready. I would not be left behind. I thought when I found them, they would accept me as the humans never had. That hope burned in me like a flame, and when I practiced at night with my sword, my metal, my cloaked dragon form, I dreamed of that day of finding my own.”
“And you found them, right? What happened?”
“How much do you know?”
“Not much,” she said. “I don’t like hearing things secondhand. Besides, the noble and coarse metal dragons are too busy with their mates to be concerned with trying to talk about you.”
“Sounds about right,” he said. “That’s basically what happened. I can’t say I was right in this, but when I finally entered a town and found them, I was an adult, and after years of strain and loneliness, I was resting all my hopes on being accepted by them. Instead, I found two separate groups of dragons that had grown together and wanted nothing to do with a newcomer.”
“Oh dear.”
“Yes,” he said. “Well, they had every right to choose their own crews. Maybe that’s how it worked. I didn’t know why. I wasn’t a coarse metal. I wasn’t a precious metal. They looked at me like I stunk. Perhaps they could feel my poison. Or perhaps, as people who already had a group, they didn’t know how much it hurt to be turned away when I didn’t have one.” He sighed. “Either way, it didn’t excuse what I did next.”
“That was stupid of them,” she said. “And they are responsible for not being empathetic.”
“For all I know, I was an asshole. I probably came in overcompensating, trying too hard to show them why they had no choice but to acknowledge me. But over and over, they rejected me. ‘Go find another crew,’ they said.” He looked down, putting a hand up to his chest and clutching at his shirt, feeling a phantom, burning pain in his heart. “That’s when I realized I was always going to be alone. My hope was for nothing. I was no good, worthless… except I could fight. I could plan. I could make them pay the way I made that blacksmith pay.”
“So that’s when you started attacking?” she asked.
“Yes,” he said. “And then I kept doing it even when we awakened centuries later. When your heart is totally empty, it’s easy to lose yourself in hate. I couldn’t think. Everything was a blur except for the razor-sharp focus on rage when I thought of those dragons who had taken everything from me. They hadn’t even noticed they’d done it. That was the worst part of all.” He shook his head. “And why did they deserve that life? Friends, family. A feeling they belonged. And if they had it, what right did they have to stomp me down? And what else was left but to punish them now that they’d destroyed my last hopes? Everything was dark.”
She nodded, cupping his cheek with her hand, her expression gentle. “That all sounds so hard.”
“You don’t have to act like you forgive me.”
“It’s not for me to forgive. Someday, I hope you talk to those dragons. I hope they know how you felt, and I hope you tell them you’re sorry for everything else. Perhaps they were stupid and young.”
“Perhaps,” he said. “The punishment didn’t really fit the crime, looking back at it. But it was something to do. Something to focus on with my burned, blackened heart.”
She turned his face to hers, making him look at her. “Now you can focus on me. If you want forgiveness, I can help you get it. If you want a place to belong, I’ll give it to you. You aren’t alone anymore, Mercury.”
He bit his lower lip painfully, not knowing how to respond. “Marina…”
She pulled him down and kissed him, softly at first and then passionately, slowly washing the pain away as he felt the tension drain out of his body. Why, whenever she touched him, did it feel she was healing him? He wrapped his arms around her, knowing he couldn’t possibly ever deserve this.
If only he’d been a little more patient. If only he’d been able to wait.
Yet everything had happened the way it had, and his enemies had found a way to be happy.
Maybe he couldn’t have what they had because of his mistakes. Maybe he couldn’t be happy in the long run, but he could be happy right now. Take everything Marina was offering right here in this moment and then make sure she had better later on.
“Just tell me what you want and I’ll give it to you,” she said quietly, watching him with warm, accepting eyes.
He pulled back and looked down at her, then kissed her ear gently. “Marina, you’ve already given me everything.”
So he’d return the favor, just one more time.
Chapter 15
Mercury’s mouth on her ear made Marina’s body come to life, buzzing with desire and anticipation. Her mind was still swirling with thoughts. About Mercury’s past. About how he was feeling now. About their future together. So many questions.
But as his lips trailed down her neck, kissing her lightly, it dispelled those thoughts like fog before the rising dawn. There was time to figure it out. They’d come this far. Why should they stop now?
That, and the fact that everywhere he touched, everywhere he kissed, her body responded instantly to him, more intently than ever before in her entire life. There was more to this than just pleasure, just release. It was connection, something deep inside that felt destined.
She put her hands around him as he pulled the corner of her tunic lower to kiss tenderly on her shoulder, slow and intent, an entirely different Mercury than when they’d last been together like this. And as much as she liked fast and heated, there was a vulnerability in those deep quicksilver eyes that set her soul on fire just with a single glance.
He pulled her tunic up a bit, playing with the soft skin of her belly, teasing along the line of her hips that sent little sparks flitting up her back. As he did, he brought their lips together again, this time more intense, claiming. She opened for him to enter, and he did, swiping inside her possessively. Their tongues met together, slick firmness that made her heart race with want.
Past the rough exterior that seemed to span the ocean, beneath his aloofness and cynicism was a Mercury that cared much more than he ever wanted to admit. A Mercury that could love, even if somehow along the way he’d decided that he himself was unlovable.
How could she show him he was wrong?
Mercury’s hands came up her stomach, beneath her tunic, and squeezed her breasts. The fabric of her bra pressed into her nipples and
instantly made her wet. She could feel his hardness pressing against her, teasing her, and she wanted to throw off their clothes and just go for it.
But she wanted what Mercury wanted. And right now, it was this.
Besides, it didn’t hurt that he seemed to want to kiss every square inch of her.
He helped pull her tunic off, undoing the hook of her bra quickly and pulling it off, leaving her bare. Around them, the noonday sun flickering through the thick purple and green and blue foliage cast cool, colored light overhead. Everywhere, soft exotic plants surrounded them, giving them complete privacy.
Marina was sure Mercury wouldn’t be doing this if that weren’t the case.
His tongue laved one breast firmly, and she moaned, trying to suppress the sound so no one would hear, and for a moment, Mercury’s gaze met hers.
If he didn’t want her making any noise, then he’d have to stop being so good at what he was doing.
Which, of course, would be entirely unlike him.
Both hands squeezed her breasts, kneading her soft flesh as he kissed one then the other, making her thighs tighten from the pleasure of it. Marina squirmed beneath him, but his touch was soft as satin and firm as steel, unforgiving in his quest to pleasure her.
He then left her breasts, leaving her wanting so much more as his hands played with the edge of her pants, drawing out the tension of each passing second.
Then she felt his finger on her center, making her entire body shudder with delight, almost pushing her over the edge. But somehow he knew just the right amount of pressure to keep her from falling.
The thought was as arousing as it was disappointing in the moment.
But he didn’t stop, building the pressure with her gradually, first making slow, wide circles around her, then gently rubbing the very apex of her sex. She pushed against his hand, pulled away from him, and pressed herself into the soft ferns beneath her, anything to go faster, but it was no use. He was in control, even as it felt as if every atom in his body was focused on her alone right now.
Aquamarine (Awakened Sea Dragons Book 3) Page 11
