by K. Langston
“Damn girl, y’all move fast in the South.” I teased.
“Yeah, we might talk a little slow, but when it comes to matters of the heart… we don’t waste much time.”
Slick, shiny abs came into view over Maddie’s shoulder. I attempted to suppress my smile, but it was tough. Holden Brooks was crazy hot. One part country boy, one part southern gent, one part sex God.
Maddie’s words… not mine.
Holden’s sweaty face hovered next to hers. “What up, Tab? You ready to see how the better half lives?”
“Hi, Holden. Oh yeah, I’m ready.” Holden was not only devastatingly handsome, he was also honest, loyal, and madly in love with his wife.
“Seriously, Holden you stink. Go shower,” Maddie said, shoving at his shoulder.
“You know you love it when I’m all sweaty, babe.” He buried his soaked face in her neck.
“Oh my God, you’re so freakin’ gross.” she giggled, sparking my own laughter. “Ugh, get off!”
They were crazy about each other, and they drove each other crazy, too. It was the kind of relationship I always wanted for myself.
Real shit.
“Ok, I’m going,” he planted a kiss on her cheek. “See ya soon, Tab,” I heard him say as he walked away.
“Bye Holden.”
Maddie wiped her face with disgust. “Damn him.”
“I’m not sure how you even get out of bed to go to work, with that lying next to you.”
“He’s an asshole.”
“But you love that asshole.”
Maddie cocked her head with a lopsided grin. “Mama says it’s perfectly normal to plot your husband’s death on a regular basis. She says that’s true love.” she blinked.
I laughed so hard I nearly wet my pants.
We chatted a while longer, catching up on everything that had happened over the last week. I told her what happened with my father. And in true Maddie fashion, she made me feel better. “Leave the past where it belongs, in the past. You’re starting over, time to move on, that’s what you want right?”
Right.
The only thing I didn’t tell her about was Barrett, and the phone call I’d received two days ago.
I wanted to.
I tried.
I couldn’t find the right words. No doubt, telling her about Barrett would ruin our friendship, and no man was worth losing my girl over.
Not even Barrett Shaw.
Family is not an important thing. It’s everything.
~Michael J. Fox
It was a desperate feeling sitting heavy in the center of my chest. What had started out as a whisper was now roaring like a lion in a cage. I drew in a deep lungful of air. I hadn’t been able to catch my breath since the moment I laid eyes on her, and until she was mine, I was afraid I never would.
When she sent the text cancelling our date yesterday, I was more than a little disappointed. Honestly, I was downright pissed. I’d considered going to her apartment demanding a reason, but instead I buried myself in work. Reminding myself over and over that I did not need this distraction. This was exactly why I’d always kept my relationships simple, physical, and out of the realm of any emotional bullshit. But Tabitha was different. With her, I wanted more.
More what?
Hell, I still wasn’t sure, but until I figured it out, I was going to let her have her way.
Sunday dinners have always been a tradition in my family. My mother never complained about our busy lives as long as we all gathered every other Sunday for a meal. I didn’t feel like that was completely unreasonable, but sometimes my schedule just wouldn’t allow it. I hadn’t been home for dinner in two months. There would be hell to pay today. Rounding the entry to the kitchen, I halted my hasty feet, taking in the sight before me. My father had my mother in his arms, eyes locked tight with hers. Over forty years together and they still looked at one another with love and adoration. I found myself wanting what they had, a love that lasts a lifetime.
“Well, it’s about time my son finally came to see me.” I knew she would give me a guilt trip, but I didn’t expect to feel as bad as I did when she wrapped her arms around my shoulders, pulling me down for a hug. Nothing like the power of a mother’s love to take your ass down a notch or two.
“I just spoke to you yesterday mom, and you call me at least once a week.”
“Yes, I know, but I haven’t laid eyes on you in two months.” She took a step back, patting my cheek as if I were a child again. “You’ll understand when you have children of your own.” I looked over her head at my father, a smile smothering his face, which clearly said… you know better. Thirty five years old and they still had the ability to make me feel two inches tall. “Speaking of grandchildren,”
Here we go.
“Are you bringing anyone to the party?”
Between my mother and my two sisters, this was another reason I avoided family dinners. More often than not, it always ended with the three of them harassing me about when I was going to settle down. For once, I gave her hope. “Maybe.”
She opened her mouth to question further, but was interrupted by my five year old nephew Dylan. He slammed into my leg, squeezing me with all his might. “Uncle Bawett!”
“Hey buddy!” Scooping him into my arms, I gave his belly a little tickle. He giggled. “Man, you’ve grown since the last time I saw you. How old are you now? 21…22?”
“I’m five yews old silly.”
“Bet all the girls at school think you’re older, don’t they?”
“Eww, I don’t wike guls. They got cooties.”
“They have cooties,” My sister Farrah corrected. “And I promise, you won’t feel that way when you get older, son.”
Pulling his ear closer, I whispered. “One day you’ll find a girl whose cooties make your heart do backflips. When you find that girl Dylan, make her yours.”
“Dats what Daddy says!”
Laughing, I looked up to see my brother-in-law, Jett. “Hey man, been too damn long,” he greeted, extending his hand.
I lowered Dylan back down. I shook Jett’s hand then pulled my sister in for a side hug. She lifted her eyes to mine. “You know he thinks you hung the moon, right?”
Looking down, I found a big smile and wide eyes staring back up at me. “I did hang the moon, buddy,” I informed him, patting his little head. “I’ll show you how it’s done some time.”
“Why are you in such a good mood anyway?” she narrowed her eyes. “I haven’t seen you this happy since… well not since you won your first case.”
Shit, is it that obvious?
I couldn’t wipe the smile from my face. I wasn’t ready to reveal Tabitha to my family just yet. Bringing her into my sacred circle would only mean one thing. Which reminded me.
“How long until dinner is ready? I need to make a call.”
“Barrett, you know the rules,” My mother scolded while my sister bit the inside of her cheek, thoroughly enjoying herself at my expense.
“Ten minutes, mom. Promise.”
“Dinner will be ready in five.” I gave my mother a quick kiss on the cheek and stuck my tongue out at Farrah before leaving the kitchen.
Walking into my father’s office, I took a seat in front of the computer, searching for the information I needed to make my call. I’d hung on every word Tabitha had said the first time we met, but I never knew it would be beneficial.
Everyone, including Mia and Brent, was already seated around the dining room table when I returned. Brent was another reason I avoided dinner with the family these days. I had no desire to share a meal with this man. He was a liar and I could hardly be in the same room with him. I took my seat next to my father, filling my plate and trying to tune out the three women dominating the conversation.
“I would love to see you with your hair up for the ceremony. It will look so much prettier with the veil.” My mother suggested.
Mia’s eyes swung to Brent’s. “What do you think, honey?”
&nb
sp; Both of my sisters were smart, well educated women. Farrah was three years younger than me. She owned one of the largest real estate companies in Massachusetts, establishing her career long before she ever thought about settling down. Mia on the other hand, had just graduated from Columbia with a degree in Business and had yet to establish anything other than a relationship with one of the biggest players on the east coast. Now she was asking his opinion about a fucking veil. As if he gives a shit about anything, but himself.
Before I could pull the first bite of chicken to my mouth, Mia started her shit. “Barrett, Mom says you’re bringing a date to the engagement party.” Six pairs of probing eyes fixed on me.
“Maybe.”
Satisfied with my answer, everyone continued to eat, except Mia. “Have you thought about what we discussed?”
I laid my fork down, my appetite vanishing. “You want my answer now?”
Lifting her chin, she squared her shoulders. “Yes.”
“Fine,” I wiped my mouth. “No.”
Mia’s eyes filled with tears. “Barrett, I really want you to be in the wedding, you and Farrah both.”
I didn’t want to be an asshole to my sister, but the man sitting next to her left me no choice. “No.”
“Are you ever going to accept the fact that we’re together?”
I considered it for a moment. Would I?
“No.”
Mia’s tears dissolved into anger. “We’re getting married. We love each other. You need to get over it.”
“I don’t need to do a damn thing.”
“Alright, that’s enough. Keep in mind there’s a five year old sitting at this table. You two can continue this discussion after dinner.” my father said, laying down the law.
“There’s nothing to discuss. It’s clear his pride is more important than his relationship with me,” Mia bit out in her need to always have the last word.
I let her have it, excusing myself before I said something I would regret. This had nothing to do with pride and everything to do with trust and respect. Brent had shit on both. The man may be my future brother-in-law, but he would never again be my friend.
We fear the thing we want the most.
~ Robert Anthony
Kim, my sister from another mister, worked in the office at school. She was a beautiful, dark-skinned woman with natural curls, full hips and a great personality. She and I had grown close in the time I’d been here. We didn’t have a lot in common, but she made me laugh at least once a day- she was one of the craziest bitches I knew.
Kim stood up, bringing with her the massive arrangement of pink roses sitting on her desk. She placed them in front of me, cocking her head to the side. I loved her facial expressions. She was so animated and no matter my mood, Kim could always make me smile. “Delivery guy was posted up outside when I got here this morning. Said the fella who purchased these paid extra nice just to make sure they were here before we opened. Must be someone very special to go through all that trouble.” Kim bobbed her head, perching her lips, waiting for me to explain. I smiled, plucking the card from the top. I opened the tiny white envelope with my name eloquently scrolled across the front.
I could feel my face stretching beyond measure for the first time in forever. “Wow, I don’t think I have ever seen your grumpy ass smile like that. Did someone finally knock the dust off that pussy? I know you been trying to steer clear of the cock lately, but that look tells me you have failed miserably bitch.”
“Keep your voice down,” I whispered, shoving the card inside my purse.
“Ain’t nobody here? Well, that old crow Eckhart is here, but you know she can’t hear shit. I want dirt.”
“I’ll tell you everything at lunch.” Thankfully, that satisfied her.
My heart felt light in my chest, and the tingling warmth spreading through my body made me feel like I was flying. I practically floated down the hall towards my classroom. Setting the roses on my desk, I leaned in, inhaling their sweet smell. Flowers must have some kind of mind altering scent that renders women completely stupid. I hardly knew him. He was the last person I should ever want. Yet, here I was, with a big stupid smile on my face, anticipating the moment when I would be near him again. I really liked Barrett and if I were being honest, had feelings for him that were unmatched by any man. Ever. But I couldn’t have him, and I couldn’t keep him. So what was the point?
I typed out a quick text.
Thank you for the flowers. They’re beautiful and completely unnecessary.
I saw the little bubble pop up on my phone immediately, signaling he was typing a response. I squirmed in my seat and bit my lip, anxiously awaiting his reply.
...
You are very necessary.
...
I can’t stop thinking about you.
My heart, which was sprinting moments ago, was now racing.
Towards what?
Disaster.
Think with your head, not your vagina!
I quickly sent back…
I need you to stop this.
Stop what?
I hesitated.
Chasing me.
It showed the message had been read, but the bubble didn’t reappear. I waited a few more minutes, hope deflating like a popped balloon in my chest. What the hell are you hoping for? You did it.
No more Barrett, no more kisses, no more…
...
I just want to get to know you.
...
So I can fuck you.
...
Then hold you.
OH. MY. GOD.
How do I respond? It was exactly what I wanted too. But I couldn’t tell him that. Unable to think of anything even remotely clever, I ignored the text and prepared for class.
Sitting across from Kim in the cafeteria, I didn’t have to wait long for her to start digging. “So tell me about sir-cocks-a-lot.”
Laughing, I shook my head. “Where do you come up with this shit?”
“Born and raised in the hood honey, we get creative.”
I shrugged. “There isn’t much to tell.”
“Bitch, please. A man does not send a woman flowers unless he’s hit it, or he’s tryin’ to hit it. Now which is it?”
“He definitely hasn’t hit it.”
I told her everything, from the first time I met him with Maddie, to their relationship, to what happened when he came to my apartment the other day. As usual, she listened to every word, only butting in a few times to clarify facts. Once I was finished, she let me have it.
“You really like this guy?”
“Of course I like him. He’s insanely gorgeous, charming, successful, and he has a tongue that could rival any high end sex toy. What’s not to like?”
“Then go for it.”
I let go of a heavy sigh. “I can’t.”
“Why the hell not?”
“You know why.” A look of sadness crossed her face. “Plus, I just… I can’t do that to Maddie. I know she cared about him. Barrett and I have already crossed the line as it is. It’s wrong.”
Waving her finger in front of my face, she met my eyes. “Uh, excuse me, Maddie’s married right?”
I took a bite of my green apple. “So?”
“So that makes his ass fair game.”
I leaned forward on a whisper. “Still, it’s like a cardinal rule right? Thou shalt never screw best friend’s ex,”
“Fuck it. She never has to know. Plus, you’ll have those memories to keep you warm on those lonely nights.”
Nodding, I thought about what she was suggesting. Besides Maddie, and what this could potentially do to our relationship, there were so many other reasons I needed to consider. So many reasons why we could never be. I couldn’t take back what had happened between us so far, but I could prevent anything further.
The further I am away from temptation, the easier it will be to resist it.
Women are made to be loved, not understood.
~ Oscar Wilde
“Yes, but Mr. Riker isn’t screwing his personal trainer.” Max countered.
“There’s been no proof of that affair.”
“She admitted it to my client,” he reminded. “Several times I might add.”
“Look, either he accepts the deal or we’ll let a judge decide. But I don’t think Mr. Sick and Depraved wants us to open up his closet and start dragging out skeletons. Unlike Mr. Riker, the Mrs. has proof. I’ve seen it. Hard core shit, Max. This kind of stuff could ruin a congressman.”
“I’ll get back to you.”
Smiling, I hung up the phone and reached for my cell, checking to see if she’d responded to any of my text messages yet.
Nothing.
I grabbed my coat and walked out of my office. “I’ll be out the rest of the day. Just call if you need anything.”
“Yes sir,” Mary Ann smiled.
Tabitha was ignoring me again. I was worried about her. Worried if she’d had another headache. Worried she would pass out somewhere and be all alone. Just fucking worried. So I decided to take a more drastic approach.
The front desk clerk gifted me with a visitor’s pass before directing me to her classroom, letting me know there was no time restriction on visitors. Something told me she knew exactly who I was. Something told me this woman knew everything.
Approaching, I could hear the sound of instruments playing loud and way off key. A smile stretched across my face as I peered through the small window. Tabitha was standing on a platform in front of the class, waving her arms back and forth. I quietly slipped inside, shoving my hands into my pockets and propping myself against the back wall. She didn’t notice me at first, her eyes intent and focused on the twenty something children playing their hearts out. They finished the song, and when she lifted those gorgeous green eyes to mine, I felt it. The effect she had on me becoming stronger and more powerful each time I was in her presence. The unmistakable calling in my chest, drawing me towards her.
