by K. Langston
“Seriously?” Archer’s grin turned into a full on smile.
“Fuck yeah.”
We played two more games and moved on to more appropriate guy talk before Tabitha came outside, saying she was tired and ready to go. I’d been having such a good time with the guys, I didn’t realize I’d drank an entire six pack. While I was not feeling anything other than a real good buzz, I let Tabitha drive us to her house. She insisted I sleep on her sofa. I declined. She reminded me there could be road blocks this time of night, and that I had a baby to live for.
I stayed.
I have found the paradox that if you love until it hurts,
there can be no more hurt, only more love.
~ Mother Teresa
It had been a desperate and calculated move, but Maddie and Katy were so damn clever. It was actually working. I had Barrett in my house, on my sofa, hopefully half naked and willing to give me a second chance.
God, please let this work.
The last few months had been torture. Not only had I been confined to my home 90 percent of the time, but I’d done it all alone. You know that saying, be careful what you wish for, you just might get it.
Yeah, well they weren’t fucking kidding.
Of course, I’ve had the love and support of my friends. Maddie had been amazing, doing all my grocery shopping and running any errands I had, and Katy had always been a phone call away, offering advice and words of wisdom that I’ve come to rely on. I would seriously be lost without either one of them. Even Cora had stopped by a few times to check on me, sticking around to watch a movie or two and promising to get me white girl wasted after the baby is born.
Things were good.
Really good.
But they weren’t great. Barrett had refused to even step foot inside my home since the day he left four months ago. As promised, he accompanied me to every single doctor’s appointment, even carrying me out for lunch a couple of times afterwards. But he continued to remain guarded and so far out of reach I was starting to lose my faith. I knew it wouldn’t be easy to win him back, but I was beginning to think it was impossible.
The girls could sense my despair, so they devised a plan. A plan that included a night filled with good food, good friends, and enough alcohol to convince Barrett to spend the night. So here I was, at 1 am, smoothing out the silk of my night gown trimmed in lace, while my heart surged with both courage and fear.
Light from the full moon poured through the downstairs windows, bouncing off the walls and casting shadows throughout the room. I could see him there, stretched out on my sectional. The blanket I’d given him still folded at the other end. Pillow tucked comfortably beneath his head. He was still fully dressed, sans his socks and shoes, arms crossed over his stomach.
Lifting my chin, I allowed that determination to set in deep and moved slowly towards him. He was sound asleep, his heavy breathing the only sound filling the room besides my thundering heart. Hiking my gown, I put one knee between his cocked leg, crawling up and bracing myself over his body. My God, he smelled so good. My lips went straight for his mouth, eager to taste the delicious man who had stolen and returned my heart. But not without claiming it forever.
Barrett jolted, his body tensing all over. Confusion danced in his eyes before desire eventually found its way there, and his hands found my face. He pushed me back, my ass settling on the heels of my feet. “What the hell are you doing?” he asked, his deep voice shivered with sleep and ice.
I searched his eyes, seeking a look, a flicker, something that would tell me he still loved me, he still wanted me.
Nothing.
“Barrett, I…”
“You what? You think we can fuck and everything will be ok? That I’ll just fall back into your arms, into your life, only for you to kick me out or walk away when you get scared or shit gets real?”
Barrett’s hand wrapped around the back of my neck. Firm fingers grazing across my skin stoked the fire inside of my chest. I pressed forward, bringing my lips within inches of his. “I’ve realized what we have is more important to me than my fear. Please… please give me another chance.”
Then I saw it, buried beneath his broken heart.
Love.
I didn’t hesitate, closing the tiny gap between us. I pressed my lips to his, my strong love and desire feeding me the courage I needed to fight. Barrett remained motionless, sucking in a lungful of air through his nose while I tried to gain entry inside his mouth, inside of his heart. My own heart soared when my tongue finally met his and I melted into him, wrapping my arms around his shoulders and pulling him closer. His hands dropped to my hips, digging into my silk covered skin.
Just as quick as it began, it was over. Gently, but with two firm hands to my shoulders, Barrett pushed me away.
And it hurt like hell.
“I can’t,” he breathed, his chest heaving in time with mine.
Tears ran hot down my cheeks. I swallowed hard and pressed on. “Barrett, please. I’ll do whatever it takes,” I whispered.
He simply shook his head and shot up from the sofa. Rounding it, he went to the bathroom and slammed the door. I saw it in his eyes. He still loved me.
But was it enough?
Three essentials to happiness in life are something to do,
something to love, and something to hope for.
~ Joseph Addison
Coffee in hand, I sat on Tabitha’s back porch, watching as dawn crept across the sky. After what happened earlier, I couldn’t go back to sleep. I thought about leaving. Had my keys and wallet in my hand when I decided to think some more. The battle had been ongoing for a while now.
Head vs. Heart.
I’d forgiven her for breaking my heart. But I wasn’t fool enough to let her do it again. I’d accepted the fact that this was all we would ever be. I’d accepted the fact that I would have to love her from afar because I knew my heart could never trust her again. But I’d been wrong.
So fucking wrong.
My heart was well on its way to unlocking the door, again. What’s the old saying… third time’s a charm?
This might kill me.
Or…
Heal me.
Movement caught my eye and I twisted my head to see her step out onto the front porch. She had on a silk robe, cinched tight at the waist. Her flaming red hair hung messy and long. Those gorgeous green eyes were still half hidden with sleep. She stared at me for a moment, blinking a few times as if she didn’t believe I was still here, before walking to the rail to look out over the lake. Her hand moved to cover her belly and I saw a lone tear slide down her cheek. “I have so many regrets,” she said, swiping another runaway tear. “I’ve done things I’m not proud of. Selfish, careless things. I know I don’t deserve a man like you. I don’t deserve your love. But I need it, Barrett. I need you to love me.” One hand clutched her chest while the other stifled a sob.
My heart to immediately surrendered, content to give our love one more chance. I placed my cup on the table next to me and moved in behind her. She turned around slowly. A knot tangled in the back of my throat. Then a light so beautiful and bright shone, through her tear filled eyes. It was more powerful than anything I’d ever felt or seen, warming me in places I never knew even existed, burying a love deep within my soul. I took her lips. So perfect and sweet, these lips had the ability to make me laugh or make me cry. They held the power to destroy me, heal me, or bring me to my fucking knees.
I walked us backwards, unknotting the silk holding her robe in place. I released her mouth, pushing the robe from her shoulders before taking a seat in the rocking chair behind me. My hands fell to her calves while heavy pants escaped her quivering mouth. Gliding my hands up, I found her panties, slowly sliding them down her legs. She stepped out while my fingers traveled across goose bumps on their way back up to her hips. I guided her down to my lap, settling her bent knees on either side of my thighs, straddling me. Her hands wove through my hair, bringing us eye to eye. Greedy ha
nds roamed the soft skin of her ass, pressing her against me while my beating heart screamed for just one thing.
I laid a kiss on her chest then her lips. “Make me yours, baby.”
A smile appeared on her perfect lips and I stole it, sealing my mouth to hers. She fumbled between us, freeing me, and before I had time to catch my breath… I was inside of her. “I love you,” she whispered, her eyes focused on mine as those three powerful words dug their way down deep, signing a promise across my heart.
She began to rock back and forth, and so did the rocker. I slid the straps of her gown from her shoulders, exposing her breasts. I took her nipple inside my mouth, licking and sucking while I cupped both of her heavy breasts. I switched, her pussy wrapped around me so hot and tight, it was burning a hole in my chest. I took back her mouth, wrapping one arm around her waist, I held her in place. I rocked back and forth. Slow and steady, feeling and filling every single inch of her.
“Mine,” she whispered against my lips.
“Yours,” I whispered back, before burying myself so deep, I wasn’t sure where she ended and I began. Sparks dotted my vision and a loud cry bled from her lips as we came together, falling apart in each other’s arms.
Home.
The best thing to hold on to in life is each other.
~ Audrey Hepburn
Katy and Archer had gone all out for little Vaughn’s 1st Birthday Party. It was a Mustache Bash, and the fun had been going on for hours. Setting up a tent in the backyard, they had a photo booth, games for kids of all ages, table upon table of delicious food, cake pops, candy, and drinks. When we first arrived, I thought…all this for a one year old? But after seeing the smiles I’d seen today, I decided that even though it may have been a little over the top, it was perfect.
Sitting across from us, the birthday boy sat proudly on his mother’s lap, drinking from his sippy cup, dressed in a red t-shirt that said…
However, you would’ve had to get here early to know that. Right now, it was covered in chocolate and so was his face. Usually, Katy didn’t allow him to have sweets. As in, no sugar whatsoever. He was on go as it was, she didn’t feel the need to add to it, but he was in rare form today. It was funny to watch Archer chase after him, cursing under his breath when Vaughn would strike out on his own. They were going to have their hands full with that one.
Turning my attention to Barrett, I watched as he buried his face in Ava’s neck, earning himself another round of giggles.
Best sound in the world.
Ava Eleanor Shaw, affectionately named after my mother, flailed her tiny little arms while her father blew raspberries on her neck and belly. Barrett leaned over, pursing his lips for a kiss. “I think I’m wearing her down, which means I’ll be wearing you out later,” he whispered before his lips were on mine.
“Promises, promises,” I teased.
“Whoever said being pregnant was awesome, lied their asses off.” Maddie complained, rubbing her huge belly.
“Maddie, mouth,” Katy warned, pointing down at Vaughn.
Maddie rolled her eyes, shifting uncomfortably in her seat. Bless her heart, she was eight months pregnant, with twin boys. Of course she blamed Holden and his supercharged sperm daily for her miserable state. She was excited about being a mother, being pregnant… not so much.
Archer swung his eyes our way. “Y’all better lock Ava up. Those are the dicks I warned you about.”
“Archer!” Katy scolded with a slap to his chest.
“What?”
Katy shook her head, handing Vaughn off to his foul mouthed father. “The first time he says a dirty word, I’m washin’ your mouth out with soap.”
Archer laughed, settling the tired little boy in his lap. “Love to see that happen, sweetheart.”
“Katy is that Alex?” Maddie asked.
Katy spoke of her brother often and I’d seen his pictures in magazines. In direct contrast to the bright and vibrant colors covering every surface, he was dressed entirely in black, holding a motorcycle helmet in his hand and wearing a big smile on his face. Katy took off, practically running towards her brother.
“Fuck,” Archer cursed and I had half a mind to scold him, but Vaughn had fallen fast asleep and my Ava was well on her way.
“What’s wrong?” Barrett asked.
“He’s moving in with us for a while. Says he needs a break from the spotlight, so Katy offered him the guest house. I love my wife, but I do not get along with her brother.”
“Archer, the last time you saw each other was two years ago. Let it go.” Maddie said defensively.
“I have let it go. He won’t. It’s like he’s determined not to like me at all. Just like his ole man.”
Maddie’s blue eyes softened. “He’ll come around. Just give it time,” Archer didn’t seem too convinced.
“Phuck!” Vaughn shot up like a bolt of lightning. “Phuck, Phuck, Phuck!”
“Did he just say…?”
“I think he said…”
“Phuck!”
We were all in shock. I mean, we all joked Vaughn’s first word would be a dirty one, but oh my God, Katy was going to flip her shit. We all began to laugh. Vaughn liked the response he was getting so he continued.
“Phuck, Phuck!”
Archer attempted to cover his mouth, but it was too late, Katy was already descending upon the table and she did not look like a happy mommy. Hands fixed to her hips, she shook her head. Archer had the decency to look ashamed, but he continued to stifle his laughter. Katy plucked little Vaughn from his lap and pinned her husband with a hard glare. “You’re in big trouble when we get home.” Archer didn’t look very worried.
Not long after, we said our goodbyes and made our way home. Ava slept the entire ride, exhausted from the eventful day. Once we got her inside, she went down without a fuss.
Later, after he’d made good on his promise, I was wrapped in his arms.
Breath on my shoulder.
Hands on my skin.
Bathing in his love.
A love that would stand the test of time, and any hardship met along the way. A love worth dying for, fighting for. A love worth waiting for. Moments like these were rare, since Ava had been born. I savored and cherished every single one. “I always knew,” he whispered.
Closing my eyes, I smiled. “Knew what, baby?”
“It would be me and you.” I rolled over to face him. “My only regret is not finding you sooner … then you could’ve been mine longer.” He kissed my lips, tender and sweet.
Our intimate moment was short lived. Ava began to cry. “I’ll get her,” he said, rolling from the bed and pulling on a pair of shorts.
After we reconciled, I’d wanted him to move in right away, but Barrett wanted to wait. He insisted we take things slow. Which was laughable considering we had a baby on the way. But I didn’t care. I was just happy he was mine again, and I would do whatever he wanted to keep it that way. I often find myself wondering how I ever survived without his love, and what would have become of me if I’d not found the courage to fight for it.
He held Ava close as he walked back into the room, planting tiny kisses on top of her head while his eyes stayed locked with mine. He still looked at me as if it were the first time. As if I were all he’d ever want or need.
My heart had never been so full.
Barrett moved to my side of the bed, gently laying our sweet Ava in my arms. When my eyes fell up on her…. my heart stopped beating.
There, written on the front of her little pink onesie were the words….
My eyes shot to his as he crawled across my legs to settle in next to me. Tears of joy fell from my eyes. “Yes,” I whispered upon his sweet lips. I was never one to believe in fairy tales or happily ever after. I believed fate was a bitch and life sucked. It was messy and mean and only the strong survive. But a love like ours is worthy of a happy ending, and I’d finally found mine.
I win.
Continue reading of a sneak peek of Forever Yo
u’re Mine (MINE #4)
Remember, unpublished work is subject to editing and can change at any time.
Forever You’re Mine
(MINE #4)
Cannon
“Oh God, Cannon, YES!”
Not the first time I’d heard my name paired with God in the same sentence. The lips of many women had praised me with those very same words. “Please don’t stop.”
And those.
Landing one hand to her ass, I gripped her supple skin while I fucked her with mind numbing strokes. I reached up, fisting my fingers around the blonde strands. I jerked, fucking her harder. This was all I needed.
Wet and willing.
With a deep moan, she came for the third time since we started this freak show. Squeezing my eyes shut, I held out. I could do this all night, if it meant not thinking. I didn’t want to think. Thinking fucking sucked. Thinking took me down dark hallways, in the middle of a desert. Thinking made me hesitate.
Thinking made me want to kill.
Yanking the mess of hair tangled around my fingers, I powered through, my mind still clinging to the moment and the heat of her warm, wet cunt. My cock pulsed, temporarily releasing the seeds of my demons while new ones bedded down for the night.
I pulled out, removing the condom and tying it off as I made my way into the bathroom to toss it. After I took a piss and washed her scent from my hands and mouth, I walked into the bedroom. Thankfully, she’d already cut out. I pulled on my jeans and fisted through my work t-shirt.
Most women weren’t looking for a one night stand, much less night after night of meaningless fucks, but Alexis was different. She was just as messed up in the head as I was, and that made us the same… empty souls stuck in a hell we couldn’t escape.
My kind of girl.
After slipping on my boots and stuffing my wallet inside my back pocket, I palmed my phone just as it vibrated with a text.
