Dammit, he hated when she said it. It irritated because he knew that was what she wanted. He hated the confirmation that she wanted something he could never give her.
“I want you to promise me something,” she said, her gaze back on her task.
“What?”
“I don’t need you bothering my old boyfriends.”
“You have more men who have threatened you? Jesus, May, I had no idea you dated that much.”
Now came the anger. Her face flushed and her eyes narrowed. When she stood, her body vibrated with fury. “I date. It isn’t like I bring them around to you for approval. I’m not a virgin, nor am I a slut. But dammit, I have a personal life. And amazingly, there are men who actually want to date me.”
He opened his mouth to tell her that didn’t surprise him at all, but she rolled right on.
“Stay out of it, Evan. I don’t need your help.”
She turned on her heel and marched back to the office. Even being the subject of her irritation, he leaned over to enjoy the view of her generous ass sway.
“You can’t leave that one alone.”
He turned around and found Lee Apple looking at him with a mocking smile. Evan cursed the three weeks he’d lost his mind and taken the witch to bed. She was the antithesis of May in every way, from her slim, athletic body, the fake nails and over-done face, to an evil core.
“I’m amazed Chris lets you come in here,” he said.
She rolled her eyes. “He tried to ban me, but then Daddy is a bit too powerful for that.”
Lee had worked at Dupree’s during their brief stint, and been fired. May had proof of her stealing money from the till, but Lee’s father was a very powerful defense attorney in Honolulu. Needless to say, her daddy had made sure she’d spent no time in jail.
“Well, I would say it’s been fun, but that would be a lie.” He started to move past her, but she grabbed his forearm, her sculptured nails biting into his skin. “She isn’t the girl for you and you know it. She couldn’t give you what you want…she’s too clean.”
He shook free of her, his stomach turning at the memories of their time together.
“You could never just let things go.”
Her eyes narrowed. “You never understood that being with me was the best you would ever have.”
He laughed, but there was not an ounce of humor in it. “If you’re the best, I’d truly hate to see the worst.”
Before she could respond, he turned away, trying to bleach his mind of the images that bled into his head as he moved in the direction of his truck. It had been a bad time for him, one that he would like to forget. Cynthia and Chris had gotten together and Evan had been at a loss.
Cynthia had thrown him for a loop. She had pretty manners and that soft southern voice, a woman who was as kind as she was beautiful. The idea that she was a switch boggled his mind. It went against everything he knew about women. Chris had told him he was wrong, and Cynthia had been his proof. And as if to prove her and Chris wrong, he’d picked up the vilest creature on the face of the planet.
He laid his head back and closed his eyes. Jesus, it had been horrible. Lee knew just what buttons to push, how to bring out the animal he caged. She liked pain. She got off on it, thrived on pushing her Doms to the edge to make them cause pain. Evan had been a little too raw when he’d hooked up with her, and the three weeks they’d been together had been some of the worst in his life since his junkie mother had overdosed.
With a sigh, he opened his eyes and saw Lee leading Jason to her car. Odd, he would have never thought Lee would go for a guy who could be led around…but who knew with her. She was one crazy woman. Evan just thanked God he wasn’t tangled up with her anymore.
He jumped when someone knocked on his window. He turned and found Cynthia smiling at him. He rolled it down.
“You going in?” she asked.
“Nope, I was just in there and did my damage for the day. Did you know about that?” he asked, nodding in the direction of Lee.
She looked then said something under her breath. “Chris will have a fit if he finds out she was here.”
“I thought he had her barred.”
Cynthia rolled her eyes. “He did. Filed the report with Honolulu PD, went through all the motions. Hell, she pleaded out to the stealing charge. You know her father. He made some threats and when that didn’t work, he went to the police. He still has some ties there and had her record expunged. But she hasn’t been around for months that I know of. Wonder why she showed up today? I had no idea she was dating him or why. I would have never pegged him for her type.”
“Who knows with her?” He finally took stock of the way Cynthia was dressed. The old faded jeans hugged her hips, and the short T-shirt showed off her new belly ring. “Magnolia, how about I tempt you into a little play for the afternoon at Rough ’n Ready?”
She laughed. “Chris would not be happy about that. What did you mean you did your damage?”
“May. I had a talk with that Simpson she dated.”
She inched her sunglasses down on her nose and stared at him over the edge. “And just why did you do that?”
“Just asked him a few questions, but apparently May isn’t happy I interfered.”
She laughed. “I bet not. Just remember, May isn’t stupid. If the police really thought there was a threat, she would take it seriously.”
He still couldn’t shake the idea that this was more, much more than anyone thought it was. “Well, since you turned me down, I guess I should get back to work.”
She leaned in, the scent of cinnamon filling the cab of his pickup. “Try to behave.”
“Where is the fun in that?” he asked, and she laughed like he knew she would. He smiled at her as he drove away.
His mind went back to Simpson, his accusations…there was something there that truly upset May. The idea she was still in love with the bastard irritated Evan more than he thought possible. It wasn’t as if he expected her not to have a love life, but he hadn’t wanted to hear about it. He didn’t even want to contemplate her having sex with anyone…well, except him.
Immediately, the vision of her strapped to his bed came violently to his mind. He tried to push it aside, but for the past few weeks, he had yet to dislodge it since he’d dreamed it. She would look perfect there, her golden skin against the light blue sheets. He could almost hear her moan his name. His cock went hard as he imagined slipping up her body, licking, tasting, teasing her before he thrust into her, the tight clasp of her pussy surrounding him.
Someone beeped a horn, pulling him out of his fantasy. He had been sitting at a green light thinking about May…again. He scrubbed his hand over his face as he took the ramp to H-1.
Jesus, he was a mess. He had to get past this before he died from lack of oxygen to his brain. Jacking off every morning after he dreamed of her was just not doing the job. He needed a woman, needed one now. But whenever he even thought about it, May’s face came to his mind. The other women left him cold, uninterested in the games he’d taken pleasure from for so many years.
Something had to give…and soon, or he wasn’t sure what he would do.
Chapter Five
“So, I talked to Micah.” Cynthia said.
May almost dropped the stack of dishes she was carrying as she glanced around to see who could be listening.
“Cynthia.”
Her friend’s blue eyes widened innocently. “What?”
Steadier, May carried the stack of dishes into the kitchen. It had grown even quieter since Evan left. There weren’t that many people, but they were still around.
“I don’t want people to hear.”
Cynthia shrugged as if it was no big deal. “Not like anyone will know what I’m talking about, but why not take a quick break outside. It is gorgeous.”
May rolled her eyes. “We live in Hawaii. It’s gorgeous every day.”
But she relented, grabbing a cup of Kona on her way out the door.
She glanc
ed at Cynthia, who was fairly brimming with excitement. “Well?”
Cynthia smiled at her. “Micah said he would allow you to pay only the application fee and you could get one whole year free.”
That gave May pause. “What gives?”
Cynthia widened her eyes innocently. “What do you mean?”
“Micah wouldn’t agree to it without something in return.”
Her friend shrugged. “You just have to submit.”
“Well, isn’t that the plan? I mean, why else would I want to join?” May blew on her coffee before taking a sip.
“There are conditions though. It has to be public and it has to be with an owner of the club.”
May choked on her coffee. “What?”
Cynthia waved it away. “It’s really no big deal. I mean, people definitely go for it.”
“But…you said publicly. I’m not really sure I can do that. And besides, it seems to be a bit too much.”
Still, she couldn’t stop the sharp tug of excitement at the idea. There was part of her that was appalled, but deep down, the concept of being in front of people naked…it was sort of a turn on. She’d had dreams about it for years, and more than once she had fantasized about stealing away for sex on the beach. This would be like trying out two of her secret desires at once.
“A single membership costs five thousand a year. I think it is actually not that big for what you are getting,” Cynthia remarked.
May sighed. Even with her fantasies, she didn’t know if she could do it. There would be no club for her then. She could never afford a membership.
“Well, that’s that.”
Cynthia grabbed her arm to stop her. “No, it’s not. I want you to think this through.”
Appalled, she stared at her friend. “There is no thinking needed. I can’t do a public submission. Seriously, there is just no way. It is out of the question.”
“Think. Micah is a good Dom. He is someone you can trust, someone who won’t hurt you. And you know that everything would be handled carefully. You can’t guarantee that with someone you get involved with.”
That was true. She had read all kinds of warnings online about being careful. In the world of BDSM, there were some people who used their knowledge to control beyond the bedroom. “Still…”
Cynthia crossed her arms beneath her breasts and stared at May. “I was extremely lucky to find Chris. While I don’t think there is anything wrong with the lifestyle, just like any group, they are going to have their predators. And they could use this against you in some way. At least this way, you’re safe.”
That was definitely true. “But in public?”
“Micah said he wanted to be sure you were serious about it. A lot of people would work a deal out like this and then just show up to troll for dates. Plus, he doesn’t want people to come out of the woodwork asking for a free membership. If word got out, you can believe he would have more than one person trying.” Cynthia smiled at her again. “You have a problem with that? I have to say, I might be a little nervous about it, but…remember that story you told me?”
“What story?” As soon as she asked, May remembered how one night over drinks she’d confessed her interest in exhibitionism. Her face flushed. “This is a little bit more than making out in public.”
“First, your fantasy wasn’t about just making out. Granted, this is a little more than going somewhere secluded to have sex.” Cynthia shrugged. “If it’s too much, you can call a stop to it. You know the owner of the club would listen if you invoked the safe word. And think about all the people you could meet there. At least there they have gone through the application process.”
That was true. But there was one glaring problem. The man she pined over, the one she had cried over and who treated her like a sister, might be there.
“What is holding you back, sistah?” Cynthia was perceptive.
May heaved a sigh. “Evan.”
Cynthia nodded. “He doesn’t really come around that much anymore. I mean, he hangs out with Chris and Micah but it’s been several months since he’s been there looking for a sub.”
May’s heart sank a little and she silently chastised herself for it. He wasn’t her concern anymore. Just because he wasn’t going to the club anymore, and that probably meant he had someone fulfilling that need, didn’t matter.
“What have you got to lose, May?”
“My dignity. I would probably die of embarrassment being naked in front of everyone.”
Cynthia sighed. “Listen. I know this would be hard but think about what you could gain from it. You could really find your sexual identity. Believe me, I know what you’re feeling right now. I wondered why people were so bent on getting into bed with each other. Sex was horrible, more like a thing to endure. Then I met Chris.”
A slight ping of jealousy hit May’s heart. Cynthia’s whole face softened, as did her voice.
“It was the first time I could say I enjoyed sex. And it was like a whole new world opened for me. I definitely would not have moved here. I probably would have married some Neanderthal my father picked out and kept wondering why the hell everyone was so excited about having sex.”
“But you did that without an audience.”
Cynthia fixed her with a stare. “I know this is scary. It’s going to be hard enough if this is truly what you need. Not everyone understands the life. At least at the club you will never worry about being unacceptable.” She leaned closer. “This could really change your life…and for the better.”
It could. She felt it to her bones. There had always been something missing in sex, from the first time up until the last time a few months ago. She could feel the excitement, be ready to really get down to it, then she would get in bed. The embarrassment of those times, of never being fulfilled and having some of the guys, especially Rick, blame her was humiliating. Was that any worse than this? That had been in private at least. The public humiliation of Rick’s accusations of her cheating on him still hurt. And worse, she had been in a way.
“What does Chris think?”
“Didn’t ask him. He thinks of you as his little sister. While he has no trouble with me at the club, he might have a problem with his little sister going there, especially for this.”
Did she really want to do this? While Cynthia thought there was a way out, that there would be a way for her to quit, there wouldn’t. For May, if she was going to do this, she would go into it with full gusto.
“Okay. What do I need to do?”
“I’ll call Micah. He wants a contract, and you have to have a physical.”
May nodded, her body still tingling from the rush of heat.
Cynthia practically hopped up the stairs to Micah’s office. She knew just what buttons to push, and while she felt a little guilty, she knew without a doubt that May needed this. She hurt each time she thought of her friend’s embarrassed face and tortured voice whenever she talked of sex. Oh, when they were in the company of others, she would joke. But Cynthia knew she had suffered from not finding fulfillment.
She opened the door and smiled at Micah then turned her attention to her fiancé. He stood and she strode over to him and gave him an enthusiastic kiss.
“Well?” he asked.
“She’ll do it.”
“You’re both crazy.”
They turned and faced Micah.
“I think it will work out,” Chris said. “Cynthia is sure she’s a submissive, and Jesus, if anything, it will get Evan off his ass. He haunts my place anymore and it will get embarrassing.” He looked at Cynthia. “Do you think there will be a problem?”
“No, and we had help from Evan.”
Chris laughed. “What happened?”
“He came in giving her orders, telling her that he’d talked to that ex of hers about her car. Lord, that was the last thing he should have done.”
“He’s just trying to find out what happened.”
Cynthia sighed. “Yeah, well, he’s acting like a bull in a china s
hop. Either way, he told her she should make better choices in who she dates. It sent her over the edge.”
“I bet.”
“Chambers finds out about this, he isn’t going to be happy,” Micah said.
Micah hadn’t been keen on the idea, but Cynthia knew it was the right thing to do.
“I’ll take care of Evan,” Chris said. “Just get the contract written up.”
Micah nodded.
“I gotta get back to Dupree’s.”
They walked through the darkened club and Cynthia winced when Chris opened the door. She pulled out her sunglasses and slipped them on.
“You’re sure about this?”Chris asked.
Without hesitating, she nodded. “Yes. One way or another, they have to move on. And even if Evan doesn’t step in, May is a sub. She needs this. And what’s more, I know exactly how she feels. I can’t stand thinking she’s suffering.”
He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her into his warmth. She could smell the aftershave he used and the warm, delicious scent that was pure Chris Dupree. He kissed her on the nose. The love she saw in his gaze caused her heart to constrict. Would she ever get used to this man? Every day she was so blessed to have him.
The first stirrings of desire flickered through her blood. She frowned. “We have no time right now. I have interviews and you have to get back to work.”
His smile widened. “But it’s my early night, and I will definitely be in charge tonight.”
The warmth boiled up and over into heat. “I’m counting on it.”
May parked her car behind her brother’s truck, happy to see he was home. Kai had been doing so much work lately that they hadn’t had enough time together. Only thirteen months apart in age, they had always been close. But recently, with their schedules, they hadn’t spent a lot of time together. It was as if they didn’t even live in the same house. She slipped out of her car, smiling at the newly painted door. It had only taken a couple weeks to get it all straightened out, and now her car looked brand new.
Knowing that not one of the four men she lived with would have checked the mail, she slowly made her way over to the box. She slipped the key into the slot and opened it. As she walked to the front door, she could smell huhi huhi chicken. Ah, her father was grilling and that meant she didn’t have to cook. The mail consisted of mainly bills and junk. There was one envelope addressed to her. It didn’t look like a bill or junk so she dumped the rest of the mail on the table.
A Little Harmless Obsession Page 5
