by Anna Lowe
If he had been in a clearer state of mind, he might have examined that thought more closely. But his hands were shaking, and grief hung over him like an ax waiting to fall. He wasn’t thinking straight, that was for sure.
Cynthia had gone ahead, following the others to the meeting Connor had called at Tim’s house. Normally, meetings were held at the plantation house, but with Anjali staying in the north wing, they might have been overheard. Which meant he was alone. Or so he thought until footsteps sounded nearby. Dell jerked his head up. If that was Connor or Tim, he might have let a fist fly or hollered just to get out the pain and confusion. But the person who came along and plopped down next to him was Joey.
“Hi, Dell,” the boy chirped.
It took everything Dell had to work up a smile. It wasn’t Joey’s fault his life was a mess.
“Hiya, Joey. How you doing?”
“You want to play Matchbox cars?”
Dell laid an arm over Joey’s shoulders. “Sorry, buddy. Got a meeting to go to. Time to be responsible, I guess.”
“Is it about the baby?”
Dell looked down at Joey. Three-, four-, and five-year-olds, he could handle just fine. They could walk, talk, and take care of themselves, at least in a general sense. Sure, you had to look out for them, but that was fun. You got to play games, run around, and take advantage of a perfectly good excuse not to be an adult for a while. But babies…
Visions of dirty diapers and rectal thermometers danced through his mind. Babies were a whole different story, and while he didn’t mind entertaining them with funny faces, he sure as hell wasn’t suited to taking care of one.
An image of Anjali holding the baby wafted through his mind, and he just couldn’t let it go. Like they belonged together. A package deal.
He snorted. That just went to prove how mixed-up he was, right?
He stood wearily and clapped Joey on the shoulder. “Yep. It’s about the baby. But I can give you a ride on the way.”
“Yay!” Joey hopped onto Dell’s shoulders when he hunched. “Giddy-up, horsey!”
Dell trotted over to Tim’s house, where he did an extra lap, more to postpone the inevitable than for Joey’s sake. Then he finally set the boy down and headed to the patio around the back. Tim and Hailey had put a lot of work into the place, expanding the patio to twice its former size. They’d even splurged on new garden furniture, which meant there was space for everyone.
Great, his lion muttered.
“Hey, Joey. I’m making some brownies. Want to help?” Jenna called.
The perfect distraction. Joey galloped back to the house with her while Dell made a beeline for a lumpy couch on the patio — one of the last remnants of Tim’s bachelor days. Dell flopped down, leaned way back, resting his head on the backrest, and stared up at the sky.
A good two minutes went by before anybody spoke. A long, quiet two minutes in which Dell’s mind spun.
“So, Quentin’s daughter, huh?” Tim murmured.
Connor shook his head, and Chase scuffed the ground. Dell leaned forward in the silence that ensued, pinning each of his friends with a glare.
“Go on, say it. I know what you’re thinking.”
Connor frowned then nodded. “Okay, I’ll say it. Never saw this coming. If anything, I would have guessed we’d be fixing this mess for you, not Quent.”
Dell nodded, resigned. He’d figured as much. But damn it, why did everyone assume he’d be the one to knock up a girl and leave her alone?
A reputation can be a dangerous thing, Quentin had once said. Damn. Dell hated when his brother was right.
“I still can’t believe it,” he said. “Quent was always lecturing me on being careful. Quentin, the guy who never messed up.”
To his surprise, the words came out hard and edgy. Had everything his brother ever lectured him on been a lie?
His inner lion grumbled. Maybe Quent wasn’t so perfect, after all.
It shouldn’t have felt good to be mad at his brother, but it did, somehow.
Of course, condoms did break, and some women lied about birth control. Who knew? But maybe Quent didn’t fuck up so much as get struck by fate.
Tim laced his fingers together and spoke firmly. “It doesn’t matter who fucked up. The question is, what are we going to do?”
Connor’s eyebrows shot up. “We?”
Dell hung his head, but Tim went on. “Let’s face it. In this case, Dell wasn’t the one who fucked up.”
Tim was trying to lighten the mood with a joke, but somehow, his comment hit too close to home.
Dell rolled his eyes. “Thanks for the vote of confidence, man.”
Tim shot him a bolstering smile then turned back to Connor. “Seriously, what if it was me? What if I’d died a year ago and some chick showed up with a baby now?” He turned to Hailey quickly. “Purely hypothetically, I mean.”
Hailey gave him a stern look and a curt, “It better be.” But mostly, what came across was undying, unconditional love. Ever since those two had mated, they’d made an unbearably cute couple.
Something in Dell’s heart tugged, and his lion whispered, We can have that too.
He shook the thought away, trying to focus for once in his life.
Connor shrugged. “I’d take care of it, of course.”
Tim nodded, reinforcing his point. “Of course you would. I would do the same for you or Chase. Quent and Dell might as well be our brothers, so the same goes for them.”
Dell took a deep breath. He wasn’t sure where Tim was going with that, but it sounded promising.
“We have to take care of the baby,” Tim concluded. “All of us. We just have to.”
Dell exhaled. Tim was right. He shared the property with three other guys, and two of them had mates. As it was, everybody pitched in to look after Joey. Plus, there was Cynthia, who might put on an ice queen act, but she loved kids. How hard could it be for everyone to take care of Quinn?
For a brief time, he floated on a high, giddy with relief. He was off the hook!
But just as quickly, his gut churned. It wasn’t right to assume Jenna and Hailey would help. Jenna and her sister Jody had been working long hours to finish up Surf Chique’s first big order of custom surfboards. And Hailey was busy too. Tim’s dream of a construction business had found its footing quickly, and he had plenty of offers. Hailey had a good eye for design and a good head for business, so she had taken over the admin side. Maybe someday those couples would decide to have kids, but that didn’t mean they were ready for a baby now.
Dell pursed his lips. As a last resort – yes. It was good to know his buddies would be there for him. But he didn’t want a last-resort solution. He needed to do the right thing.
His mind spun, and he felt sick. It was like an old cartoon he’d watched with Joey — one with Pluto making up his mind about right and wrong. There were two little Plutos, one on each shoulder. On the left was a devil, poking him with a pitchfork, telling him to take the easy way out. But there was an angel version of himself on his right shoulder, and it was on its knees, begging him to do good.
What would Quent do for you? the angel asked. Think about it.
Dell scrubbed a hand over his chin. If the tables were turned, Quent would take the baby and raise it as his own. He would do a great job, too, showering the baby with affection, giving it everything it could possibly want. He wouldn’t settle for tag-team parenting with a bunch of other guys.
But there was the devil, poking him again.
Come on, man. You are not the least bit qualified to be a dad. Many hands make light work, right?
The angel, on the other hand, gestured toward the plantation house, and the image of Cynthia’s whiteboard — the one with chore assignments for the week — popped into his mind. Cooking, cleaning, patrols…and Quinn.
He frowned. It wouldn’t be right to list Quinn and check her off like any other chore. Not only that, but there was something else. Something tugging at a corner of his muddled brain,
telling him it wasn’t just about Quinn. But he couldn’t put a finger on what exactly that might be.
“No,” he finally grunted, making everyone’s head turn. “If I’m going to do this, I need to do it right.”
“As in…?” Tim prompted.
Dell shrugged. “As in, taking care of her myself.”
On any other occasion, the guys would have burst out laughing, and he would have too. He could barely take care of himself. How could he possibly play daddy?
Connor didn’t look convinced, though it was Cynthia who spoke first. “That’s very noble. Yes, I mean it,” she added in response to his suspicious look. “But think it through. Taking care of a baby is a huge responsibility. Not just diapering, feeding, and waking up in the middle of the night. Babies need love. Stability. They need someone responsible enough to handle all that.”
Cynthia’s voice was surprisingly gentle, but her message was clear. Responsibility wasn’t exactly Dell’s forte, and he knew it.
“You might be surprised what Dell can pull off,” Connor said, shocking the hell out of Dell.
Sadly, Cynthia went on without missing a beat. “A baby means no more nights out. No sleeping in. No spur-of-the-moment fun.”
The longer she talked, the lower Dell’s shoulders slumped. Was that really him?
“It means being there for her every second of every day. Worrying. Finding a way to explain the way things work without revealing what a terrible place the world can be. Parenting means putting everything on the line. Giving part of your heart away and never getting it back.”
She stopped mid-breath, and everyone stared. Everything Cynthia said applied to Joey except the end part. When Dell sniffed the air, he found it filled with sorrow and regret.
“There’s another option,” Cynthia said, covering up quickly.
Dell wasn’t the only one who raised his head in hope. Clearly, no one was eager to have his or her life upended by a baby. It felt like just yesterday that they’d left the army and settled in at Koakea. Everyone was happy with the status quo now that they had finally stumbled into a good thing.
Yes, there is another option, his lion whispered to him. Anjali…
He frowned and shook the notion out of his head, determined not to get sidetracked.
“There are lots of shifter couples who can’t have children,” Cynthia said. “It wouldn’t be difficult to find someone who would love to give Quinn a home.” She glanced around slowly. “Look, I respect what you want to do here. I really do. But if you love Quentin, you’ll do what’s best for his daughter. It’s not appropriate for her to be raised by a bunch of men — no more appropriate than it would be to raise a lion cub in a barracks like a mascot of some kind. She’s been through so much already.” Cynthia shook her head sadly. “Quinn needs a stable home. And we can find her one.”
One by one, she looked everyone in the eye until her gaze came to rest on Dell.
“But…” he started.
Cynthia stuck her hands on her hips. “If you try this alone, what will you do when you have to work late? Who will watch her while you’re out patrolling? And what happens if she gets sick just when you’re going to work?”
“Then we’ll help,” Connor said.
Dell had never felt more grateful to the dragon shifter, but Cynthia spoke up again. “Of course, everyone would help. But that’s not the point. A child needs a parent. Someone she can depend on.”
In other words, her tone said, someone other than you.
Dell scratched his chest. “I’ll figure it out when it happens, I guess.”
But, damn. That sounded as lame as it felt.
At that moment, he wanted to hate Cynthia. The problem was, she was right. How could he possibly handle a kid on his own?
But still. Dell winced. Giving her up for adoption?
“You could visit, you know,” Cynthia added softly. “Check in on her from time to time. Be as good an uncle to her as you are to Joey.”
Dell snapped his chin up, and his voice wobbled when he replied. “Wow. Was that an actual compliment, Cynth?”
She scowled. “Yes, it was. So please don’t ruin it. Just think. Are you really equipped to take care of this baby on your own?”
No. Easy answer, and Dell knew it. But somehow, it didn’t sit right.
Connor scrubbed a hand over his chin. “Honestly, I hate the idea of not paying our dues to Quentin. But Cynthia has a point. Are we doing Quent a favor by trying to raise his kid, or is she better off in a more stable home?” He paused, looking truly conflicted. “Plus, I’m concerned about something else. Anjali said something about the mother being in trouble of some kind.”
Dell frowned. What if Lourdes’s trouble — whatever it was — extended to Quinn and Anjali? “What did Anjali say?”
“Something about Lourdes being on the run.” Tim tapped his fingers on the table, looking pensive. “Quent never talked about Lourdes, did he?”
That, Dell could answer. “Never. Not a word. He came back from that trip the way he always did. Recharged, maybe. But not a word about a girl.”
“Woman,” Tim growled, correcting him.
Dell stuck his hands up in the air. “Sorry. Woman.”
“There’s no way she was his destined mate.” Connor shook his head. “There’d be no way he could leave her.” His eyes wandered toward the house and his mate.
“There was something…” Chase murmured.
His voice carried softly through the evening air, and everyone spun, as surprised to hear Chase speak as they were at what he said.
“What?” Connor demanded.
“We were out on one of those really long night shifts. You know, out at Point Echo.” Chase waved vaguely, letting them fill in the details for themselves. Easy enough, given that they’d all been assigned that duty a dozen times. It was way out in a corner of the Korengal Valley, where the beauty of a starry night sky was juxtaposed with the brutal realities of a war zone.
“What did he say?” Dell prompted at last.
Chase started pacing like the restless wolf he was. “He said something about helping someone. Wondering if it was right to help but then to leave.”
Help? Dell wanted to snort. What help had Quentin been, getting Lourdes pregnant?
But Chase went on. “He was worried about some trouble the friend had…”
“Friend?” Tim crooked an eyebrow.
“Lourdes?” Hailey asked.
“Definitely not his mate, then,” Connor grumbled.
Chase shrugged. “I guess not. But he was worried that trouble might come back while he was gone.” He trailed off then hung his head. “I’m sorry. I don’t remember exactly.”
Dell would have shaken him if that hadn’t been the most Chase had ever uttered at a time.
“Trouble?” Hailey tilted her head. “Like with the ex-boyfriend?”
Chase shrugged, but Tim picked up where she left off. “Let’s say Lourdes had trouble with her ex. Some creep who kept his distance while Quentin was around. Maybe he even kept his distance for a while afterward, too. But then this guy finds out Quent died, so he decides to move back in on her.”
Hailey took Tim’s hand and stared at the ground. Was she thinking of her own stubborn ex? Luckily, that jerk was gone forever. But if Lourdes had a similar problem and no one to look out for her…
Dell frowned and stood, unable to sit still. So far, it had been hard to empathize with Lourdes. What kind of a woman abandoned her child? But maybe things weren’t as simple as they seemed. That, and his inner lion seemed to be mixing up Lourdes with Anjali, sending an image of the latter through his mind every few seconds.
He did his best to push the images away. So what if his heart had pounded halfway out of his chest when he’d met Anjali? So what if he hadn’t been able to stop gazing into her eyes? That came from being mixed-up about the entire crazy situation, right?
“But the police called her death a suicide,” Cynthia pointed out.
&n
bsp; Tim snorted. “With a note that said, If anything happens to me?”
Silence stretched out for a long minute before Hailey whispered, “So, what now?”
And just like that, the angel and devil popped back into Dell’s mind. Did he give Quinn up for adoption or raise her himself?
Connor’s eyes glowed jade green, as they always did when his inner dragon stirred. “Okay, this is what we do,” he announced, all alpha.
Dell exhaled. Good old Connor. He could always count on the man for direction. Because, frankly, that wasn’t one of his own strengths. Oh, Dell knew what he was good at. Give him a job, and he’d get it done. Point him toward a fight, and he’d battle to the bitter end. But figuring out where to start? Not his strong suit.
Inside, his lion was roaring. It’s our decision, not his.
Still, Connor was alpha, and for good reason. He formed a fist and thrust it into his open hand. “First, we investigate. Find out everything we can about Lourdes — and the ex-boyfriend.”
Dell gritted his teeth at the thought of some asshole threatening Quinn or Anjali.
Then he grimaced. Damn it. Why did she keep flashing through his mind? She was so not his type. And he had enough problems to solve without adding her to the mix.
Cynthia locked eyes with Connor. Those two had started out at odds, but in the last months, they’d meshed into a pretty seamless leadership team.
“You do that.” Cynthia nodded. “Find out everything you can about Lourdes. Her life. Her death. The ex-boyfriend.”
Connor nodded gravely, and everyone stood to go as if that was all.
“What about Anjali?” Dell demanded.
Everyone looked blank.
“What about her?” Connor asked.
Dell’s lion snarled and prowled closer to the surface. She’s just important as Quinn.
Why? He wanted to demand. Why?
Because she’s our mate.
It was a good thing Dell was standing next to one of the roof supports and could grab onto it. Up to that moment, he’d assumed the spinning in his soul stemmed from his grief over Quentin and his shock at seeing the baby.
Anjali, his lion purred.
Holy shit. Could it really be?
