I knew.
Just like I knew I had to get her out of there.
As I pulled Kris to her feet, I met Lillian’s gaze. The unshed tears in her eyes told me that she had come to the same difficult realization I had. Her mouth worked, and I shook my head to keep her from saying anything.
It was too soon.
From the way Kris shook in my arms, and from the glimpse I had seen of her eyes, I knew it wouldn’t take much to set her off. One mention of Alec might do it, and I would lose her. Without Alec, and with at least one demigod left alive, Kris was hanging on to herself by a thread.
I sure hoped that Alec’s theory was right. I hoped killing Nakurlas would set Kris free. That was assuming Sagriva and Derona were already dead by her hand.
And if not . . .
I shook my head to stop the thought from taking root. I followed Lillian to the soot-covered exit along the back wall. Even with my arm supporting her, Kris wobbled. I suspected she had used a considerable amount of magic during her fight. A fight I hadn’t been there for.
But I was here now. I picked her up to carry her the rest of the way.
I followed Lillian outside, and along the back wall of the building. Kris shook from what I, at first, thought was an intense fight for her soul. It took me a moment to realize that she was shaking from a violent onslaught of silent tears. Her face burrowed into my chest as they poured out, but she made no noise.
I would have preferred for her to cry out, to scream, to do something. Seeing her hurt so badly she couldn’t make a sound terrified the hell out of me. I not only feared for her emotional state, but for her ability to fight her inner demons.
“Hurry,” I muttered to Lillian.
“What if . . .” she started, but stopped at the sight of my scowl.
“He’s it,” I insisted as Nakurlas, and the rest of our crew, finally came within sight. “He has to be it.”
Jared and Bruce looked from me, to Lillian, and then to Kris in my arms. A mixture of understanding and disbelief crossed their faces simultaneously. While Bruce turned his back to hide the anguish I had briefly glimpsed in his eyes, Jared struggled to put his game face on.
“Did they face both of them?” he asked.
“I don’t know. I hope so. Without him, she’s struggling.”
I cradled Kris as I knelt to the ground near Nakurlas.
He was still under the effects of the compound, and oblivious to his fate—if we could persuade Kris to finish him. I hated to ask her to kill, especially now. But the alternative, the one that risked me losing her, wasn’t an option.
I brushed aside the curtain of hair that covered her face. “Kris . . .”
She pulled her face out of my shirt far enough to meet my gaze. Though they darted away immediately, I glimpsed the surge in her eyes.
“Kris,” I tried again, “you need to destroy Nakurlas.”
“No.” Her voice was ice cold, foreign. Almost evil.
I clasped her face between my hands. “No more fighting it, Kris. You can end it right now.”
“I don’t want to end it,” she returned.
“That’s your Skotadi side talking. Not you.”
“How do you know? You don’t know how to talk to my Skotadi side.”
Her voice cracked on the word ‘you,’ and I knew why. Only Alec had understood her inner Skotadi. Kris was still in there, battling for control, and she was upset that the only one who understood wasn’t here.
“And who did?” I asked softly. “Who understood like I can’t, Kris?”
Her eyes narrowed, and I swore I heard her growl. Her body tensed in my arms. “Shut up,” she sneered.
“Who, Kris?” I pressed.
“What are you doing?” Lillian whispered harshly.
I ignored her, and pressed Kris again. “Tell me who understood you, Kris. Who understood it all?”
“Al—” She lurched forward to scream—a shrill cry that signaled her pain. Finally.
“Alec,” I said for her. “You want vengeance for what they did to Alec?”
“Yes,” she hissed. Her head lowered. Her hands fisted her hair. She screamed again. This one ended with a sob.
I withdrew my knife, and held it out to her.
“Nathan,” Jared warned. His eyes were on Kris, alert and concerned.
I understood. In her state, she could turn the knife on me, on any of us, in a heartbeat. But I believed she wouldn’t. Her need to avenge Alec’s death outweighed everything else.
I placed the knife into her hand. “Go get it, Kris.”
She eyed me severely before she swung her attention toward Nakurlas. I released her, allowing her to crawl across the ground to where he lay. Jared tensed beside me, ready for her to spring on any one of us.
I wasn’t worried. She had been so strong, from the beginning. She had the strength to fight back. This time, I knew she would finally find the freedom she sought.
When she thrust the knife down, finding Nakurlas’s heart, I knew it was all over.
Her soul was finally free. But her heart was shattered.
~ ~ ~
Back in our room, I set Kris on the edge of the bed, and retrieved a towel from the bathroom. On my way back to her, I got stopped by a knock at the door.
Jared greeted me with a grimace. “How’s she doing?”
I glanced over my shoulder. Kris’s head was bent forward, her eyes fixed on the floor, but it was anyone’s guess what she was actually seeing.
“How would you be doing right now?” I returned.
Jared nodded. He knew. We all knew.
We all felt the pain of Alec’s death. But none of us more so than Kris.
I threw a thumb over my shoulder. “I’ve got to—”
“Yeah, yeah,” Jared exclaimed. “Of course. Bruce and I will rotate shifts tonight, and we’ll talk in the morning.”
I hesitated before turning back to Kris. “You think there’s something to worry about?”
Jared shrugged. “The demigods are gone, but the huge Skotadi presence in that town has me nervous. And we still have Circe out there. She’s bound to be upset with us now.”
I ran a hand down my face with a scoff. Understatement of the century.
“It’ll be fine,” Jared reassured me with a pat on the shoulder. “Bruce and I have got it under control. We’ll leave in the morning.”
Without Alec . . .
I held back my own emotion as I returned to Kris’s side. Though I had come to like Alec, her devastation over his loss was a lot stronger than mine—stronger than any of ours. While we all wanted to know what had happened, I hadn’t let any of them ask her. She was having a hard enough time right now, without being forced to relive the event.
She would talk when she was ready.
I knelt in front of her, and gently wiped the towel over her face, cleaning off as much of the makeup as I could. The hardest was her eyes, swollen from an endless stream of tears . . . and that black stuff that streaked her face didn’t come off easily.
“Kris?” I probed gently.
Her eyes lifted slowly to meet mine, and she shrugged.
“Come here.”
I pulled her to a stand, and escorted her to the bathroom. There, I started the shower. As the room filled with steam, I assisted her in removing her clothes.
The blank stare she gave me worried me more than anything. I expected her to be upset. I expected her to be angry, and sad, and frustrated. Right now, she resembled a zombie. She had cried all she could cry, and now she was left with . . .
I didn’t even know. A hole in her heart? A piece of her soul missing?
“You’re scaring me, Kris,” I admitted softly.
Another blank stare.
“Do you want me to help?” I asked.
She turned toward the shower as if noticing for the first time that it was running. Her head shook once.
“Okay. I’ll be right out here if you need me.”
I saw her into the showe
r, then I took a seat on the floor. For nearly twenty minutes, I sat there, sneaking glances every so often to make sure she was okay. She washed her hair at least three times, from what I saw. A wall of bubbles clung to the shower curtain, and I imagined she had gotten a little overzealous with the soap. I would have too if I had my best friend’s blood all over me.
Five entire minutes passed with her head in her hands. I watched, and waited, until I heard the sound of her sobs over the running water. I jumped to my feet, grabbed a towel, and shut the water off. She didn’t fight me as I wrapped her up, and steered her into the bedroom.
“Do you want to talk to me?” I asked softly as I guided her to the edge of the bed.
She was silent for so long I assumed the answer was no. And that was okay. I understood.
I had experienced my fair share of loss over the years. My father . . . my brothers . . . countless friends . . . and even Lillian. Despite the hard-nosed mentality of being raised a Kala, I had struggled each and every time. But Kris? She hadn’t been raised with that armor around her heart, and the ability to bounce back from life-shattering loss.
I gave her a kiss on the forehead to let her know it was okay if she didn’t want to talk yet, but that I was there when she was ready, and I stood to find her some clothes to sleep in.
“I made him a promise,” she whispered.
I stopped, and looked at the top of her lowered head as I waited for her to continue.
“I can’t lose Callie, too,” she cried. “I can’t, but I don’t know how to save her . . . and I made him a promise that I would. But I don’t know what to do!”
I knelt in front of her in an attempt to ease the renewed surge of tears, but she only sobbed harder.
“I’m me now,” she continued. “I’m free, but what was the cost?”
“Hey,” I soothed. “Alec wanted this just as much as you did.”
“But now what?” Her eyes met mine pleadingly, and I wished I had the answer.
But I didn’t. I didn’t know where to start.
“I don’t know how to stop this curse,” she admitted softly. “I don’t know how to get to my mother to get the help I need. I don’t know how to help Callie.”
“We’ll figure it out.”
“What if Circe manages to go through with the curse without me?” Kris shot back in renewed panic. “She knows I’m not going to help her now that I’m free of the demigods’ influence. She’ll be desperate, she might find a way . . .”
“So we’ll find your mother first,” I returned convincingly. “You’re going to keep that promise to Alec. I promise you that.”
I didn’t know how we would manage it. Not yet. But I knew I wasn’t going to let her down. I wouldn’t let Callie down, and I sure as hell wasn’t going to let Alec down.
Chapter 18
~ Kris ~
My sense of smell is the first to develop. The scent of pine mixed with warm blacktop tells me where I am even before the old playground on the edge of Big Pine Lake materializes around me. A sad smile curves my lips at the not-so-distant memories I had created here.
We had created here.
My first kiss had happened here. On that battered old picnic table that still stands where I last remember it. On the night that I first realized Alec had secrets. On the night that my life changed forever.
I sit on the cracked blacktop, facing the basketball hoop, as I fully give myself to this dream. The melancholy is nice, and I find myself replaying the last time I was here with a smile. When I close my eyes, I can almost hear the soft thumps of the basketball striking the ground.
“I’m going to miss you,” I sigh into the breeze.
“Is that so?” The thumping stops, and I slowly turn to look over my shoulder, to find the source of the familiar voice behind me.
Alec bounces the ball again, before tucking it under one of his arms with a grin. “One last game?” A gasp escapes my open mouth. He shushes me with a sternly-pointed finger. “No crying.”
I sputter as I scramble to my feet, and finally utter one word. “How?”
“You can see the dead, remember?” Alec sends the ball soaring toward the hoop. It goes through with a soft whoosh. “I think I’m better at this dead. Divine powers and all that.”
“But I destroyed Nakurlas,” I argue. “I severed my ties to all of them. I’m . . . me.”
“But you’re still Hecate’s daughter,” Alec replies softly. His eyes meet mine tenderly. “Now, we have plenty of time to talk about business, and we will, but right now I want to play a game of basketball with you. Maybe I can finally beat you.”
My eyes never leave Alec as he moves to retrieve the ball. I’m afraid he will disappear if I let him out of my sight. I want to hold onto this moment for as long as I possibly can. Real . . . or not.
So we play. We laugh. We tease. We are us, and I enjoy every minute of it.
And I win, once again.
“Are you sure you’re not letting me win?” I playfully narrow my eyes at Alec when he places his hands on his knees to catch his breath—odd considering he’s a . . . well, I’m not exactly sure what he is.
“Trust me,” he gasps. “I’m not letting you win.” He limps over to the picnic table, and stops short of sitting. He stares at it a moment, then glances at me. “This is where . . .”
I nod. “Yep.”
“Huh.” He runs a hand over the beaten wood as I come to a stand beside him. “I wondered why you picked this place.”
“I picked this?” I glance around the battered playground.
“It must have meant more to you than I thought,” Alec concludes, and finally turns to look at me.
I take the opportunity to memorize everything about him. From the way his hair sticks up a little on the top, to the magnificent green of his eyes, to the way he towers over me, and the feel of his arms around me when I move into them.
His cheek rests against my forehead. “We have work to do,” he tells me, but gives no indication of moving anytime soon.
I don’t want to work, or talk about anything. I want to stay right here, in his arms, in our spot. And I know he feels it too, which is evident from the sigh against my cheek when he reluctantly pushes me back. His eyes are soft with understanding, but with a hint of determination.
“You need to find your mother,” he says.
“I know,” I return quickly, “but I don’t know how to—”
“I do. I can get you there.”
“How?”
He stuns me with the carefree grin I am accustomed to seeing every day, and I swallow the emotion I feel at knowing I won’t see it once I wake up from this dream.
“She’s in the underworld, right?”
I nod. “But we don’t know how to get there.”
Alec spreads his arms wide. “I can tell you. I can’t show you since you have to go there awake, but I can tell you. We get three days to make this happen.”
“What happens after three days?”
“I get assigned to a side. Once that happens, I can’t leave on my own. I’m only allowed out now since I’m in the in-between. Less security,” he adds with a wink.
“After three days . . .” I bite my lip to fight a new wave of emotion. “Can you . . . will I be able . . .”
“To see me again?” he finishes softly. “I don’t know. Something tells me I’m getting a special pass.” I nod slowly, then jump when Alec claps his hands together. “But hey, we get three days together to make this happen. So let’s do it.”
Paper materializes out of nowhere, and Alec sets to drawing me sketches and instructions on how to get to the underworld. Though it looks easier than I thought it would be, assuming everything works right, it is still a multi-stepped process with a lot of what-ifs.
“Alec, I’m never going to remember all of this,” I tell him, waving a hand at the elaborate details. It’s nice to look at as he explains, but what good is writing it all down on paper inside of a dream?
“Kr
is, you repeatedly underestimate me. We dead work in mysterious ways. Trust me.” He thrusts the paper into my hands. “It’s going to work.”
~ ~ ~
I woke with a start, to the sound of birds chirping, and the shower running in the next room. As I sat up to gather my bearings, my eyes lowered to the bed, and to the papers scattered beside me. I picked one up, and turned it over.
It was a map of the underworld, labeled in Alec’s choppy handwriting. I frantically sifted through the other pages, and recognized it all. Alec had showed me all of it in the dream.
Excitement rolled off of me in waves. Unable to contain it, I bounced on the edge of the bed for what felt like an eternity—Alec’s map and instructions in my hands—until the shower cut off. I barely gave Nathan enough time to dress before I barged into the bathroom.
He stood, back to me as he fastened his jeans, and turned his head over his shoulder at my noisy intrusion. With one look at my face, he knew something was up.
“What’s going on?”
He twisted around as I launched myself at him. My momentum backed him up against the counter before he caught me.
“I saw Alec!” I exclaimed. “I had a dream . . . and he was there. He knows how to get to the underworld, and he’s going to help us. He drew me a map!”
I started to squirm away to show it to him, and Nathan set me on my feet.
“Kris . . .”
“Here.” I thrust the stack of papers out to him. “It’s all here.” I waved them under his nose when he didn’t look at them. His eyes were on me, wary and concerned. “Nathan, look! Alec drew us a map to get to the underworld.”
His eyes finally lowered to the papers, but he didn’t look excited.
Why wasn’t he excited? This was exactly what we needed. We finally knew the way.
“Kris, there’s no map,” he said softly. “They’re blank pieces of paper.”
“No . . .” I looked at them again. The map and instructions were as visible as before. It was all right there in my hands. “Oh, no . . .”
He couldn’t see it.
“Dammit, Alec!” I shouted at the ceiling.
Avenging Heart Page 19
