“Now isn’t a good time, Lyndley. It’s not important why I am who I am. You already know me. I’m the asshole assigned to protect you, right?”
“In this moment, yes you are. And it’s important to me to know who you are. I’m trying here, Ky. I really am. But apparently, I misread the entire situation between us. My mistake. Trust me, I will never make that mistake ever again.”
As she turned to leave my room, my hand shot out and clutched onto hers. I wasn’t sure what was going to come of all of this, but I wasn’t willing to give her up just yet. “Wait.” I whispered.
“Why?”
I let out a loud sigh, “Because I need you.”
She turned ever so slightly in my hand. “You don’t need me, Ky. You don’t need anybody, remember?”
I shook my head in response. “Are you sure you really want to know, everything?”
She was now facing me, her hands coming up and cradling my face in them. “I’ve never been more sure of anything in my life, ever.”
I gently pressed my lips against hers and pulled her over to the bed to sit by me. “Where do you want me to start?”
“Anywhere you want.”
“You realize this makes all of this between me and you, real?”
“What if I want this thing between us to be real?”
“Maybe you should wait and ask that after I tell you my story.” I chided. I could tell by the look on her face that she wasn’t exactly sure how to react to what I had said, and that was okay because honestly, I wasn’t exactly sure how I wanted her to react.
“Well let’s see.” I laughed nervously. “I’m an only child. My mother died when I was little and my dad, well let’s just say he wasn’t around much.” I paused to see her reaction.
“Ky, come on.” She slapped my chest and I couldn’t help but laugh.
“I’m sorry. You just looked so serious.”
“I’m trying to be serious. If you don’t want to tell me and have an actual conversation with me, then fine. I’ll just leave you be.” She stood up to walk out of the room, but I quickly grabbed her by the hand, pulling her down onto my lap.
“I really am an only child, and my mom really did die when I was young. I was nine years old when I found her on the bathroom floor. I knew at a very young age that my parents were addicts. My father used to practically drink himself into blacking out, which would in turn leave me alone with my mother who was addicted to heroin. I spent most of my childhood taking care of my mother after she would go on one of her many benders, and then come home and pass out. When my father was sober, which was few and far between, I endured the many beatings he would give without ever fighting back. Needless to say, the way you grew up looks like a fairytale compared to how I was raised.” I glanced up at her solemn face just as a stray tear rolled down her cheek.
“Don’t cry for me, princess.”
“Don’t call me that. My life may look seemingly perfect from an outsider’s perspective, but trust me, it was anything but.”
“I never meant to make your life seem like something it wasn’t. You asked for my story, and I was just telling it. I tend to make light of the things that are dark. I’m sorry, Lyndley. I never meant to imply that you grew up in a perfect home where nothing ever went wrong.” I pulled her face down to mine. “Forgive me?” Before I let her answer, I lightly pressed my lips against hers.
“You’re forgiven.” She whispered against my lips before sealing them against mine one last time. “Keep going. Please.”
“As you wish.” I chuckled. “So as you would guess, my father blamed me for my mother’s death. God forbid he blame the drug dealer who supplied her with the dope, or the bastard himself for beating her and her child. I laid by her side for a good twenty minutes before I finally called 9-1-1. I couldn’t tell you why. I guess in some morbid way, it was as though I had the mother I had always known back. If even for a brief second, it was the way I wanted to remember her, not as some junkie who didn’t give a shit about me.”
I could feel myself getting choked up, so I took a second to take a few deep breaths before I continued. I could feel Lyndley’s hand gripping my hand tighter with every word I spoke. I was amazed at how much I was willing to tell her, but she was the one person who made me feel like an actual human being and not some fuck up who grew up far too early in life. She was the light at the end of my dark and twisted tunnel.
“Anyway, after they took my mom away things with my father hit an all time low. Nobody thought to take me out of my father’s care, given the fact that he was my father, but little did they know that the state in which they would find me in one day, would be a state you should never find a child in. My father’s drinking only got worse and the beatings became more frequent. I dealt with them as long as I could and I never told a single soul. I would go to school and play with my friends as though life at home was just as peachy as everyone else’s home life.”
“Oh my god, Ky. I’m so sorry.”
“Don’t be, Lyndley. I’m a stronger person today because of all of it.” I wasn’t exactly sure if I agreed with what I was saying to her, but I had to if I wanted to keep my sanity about it all.
She lifted my face up to hers. “Ky what happened to you is not okay. Where is your father now?”
Ah and there was the question I was so hoping she wouldn’t ask, because the answer was far more complicated than I wanted to admit to anyone, especially her.
“He died. When I was twelve he was murdered.” I looked deep into her eyes, praying that I wouldn’t have to elaborate any further. “After that, I went to live with my aunt in South Carolina. She took good care of me and such, but I rebelled. I got into a lot of trouble, drank until I couldn’t anymore, and stayed as far away from any sort of relationship with pretty much anybody. The only serious relationship I’ve ever had ended a few months ago, give or take.”
“And who may I ask was this girl?” She let out a small laugh and I knew that she genuinely wanted to know, and not because she was jealous.
“Her name is Olivia. I met her my senior year of high school. We instantly clicked. Her home life was pretty messed up to, so we bonded over horror stories and such. She was a cool girl. When I asked her to marry me I honestly thought that we would get married one day. Unfortunately, she said yes, but then changed her mind once I took the Marshal position. She thought my job was too dangerous and asked me to choose. I always told myself that the right girl would never ask that of me, so she left. And I haven’t spoken to her since.”
“I’m so sorry.”
“There’s no reason to be. Everything happens for a reason, Lyndley.”
“Ky, how was your father murdered?” Curiosity was imminent in her tone, and I knew what she was asking.
“Lyndley, I ha-“
Before I could finish my sentence, the sound of a gun going off and shattering glass, filled the tiny bedroom we were currently occupying. I quickly slid Lyndley off of my lap and down onto the floor, throwing myself on top of her to shield any other shots that may be fired. Flashes of red cluttered my vision as I frantically glanced around the room at the damage. When I couldn’t find the cause of all the blood around us, I began to freak out.
What felt like minutes later, but was most likely only seconds, I found the origin of the now pool of blood beneath us. It was coming from Lyndley. She had been shot. I started ripping her clothing from her body trying to find the exact entry wound, but with all the blood it was proving to be far more difficult than I had originally thought.
I looked down at her pale face just as her eyes fluttered shut. “Lyndley, wake up. LYNDLEY! YOU HAVE TO WAKE UP NOW! Son of a bitch.” I pulled down the strap of her workout shirt and found the wound that was profusely bleeding. I reached behind me and pulled my shirt over my head. I shoved it into place, covering the bullet hole that hit just below her left shoulder. I applied as much pressure as I could, but the blood was quickly seeping through the thin fabric.
“RU
GER!” I shouted his name as loud as possible, but didn’t hear any footsteps coming up the stairs. “FUCK! Lyndley, I need you to hang on. Please Lyndley. Please hang on, for me.”
I heard a few more shots go off outside, but none that were aimed at us. I crawled over to the window, pulling Lyndley along with me as I tried to keep as much pressure on her wound as I could while doing so. I pulled the gun out from behind my back and peered over the ledge of the now blown out window. I couldn’t see anybody in the back anymore, but I could still hear shots in the distance.
“RUGER!” I tried yelling for him one last time, before I finally picked up Lyndley’s limp body and made my way downstairs. At this point I was willing to shoot anybody I had to, to get this girl to safety. Just as I reached the bottom of the stairs, Ruger came into view.
“Where did she get hit?” He was out of breath and I could tell he had been taking the brunt of the gunfire outside.
“Just below her shoulder. She needs to get to a hospital.”
“I don’t think that’s the best idea.”
“I don’t give a shit what you think, Ruger. She’s going to die if she doesn’t get medical attention soon, so if you don’t want me to shoot you in the process, you might wanna get out of my way.” I tried to push past him, but he stood his ground.
“I can fix her up here. I used to be an EMT. Take her in that back room. I’ll be there in just a second.”
I glanced behind me and without hesitation ran into the room he had just pointed at. The room was all white and smelled exactly like a hospital. There was a gurney in the middle of the room and the walls were lined with all sorts of gauze, padding, wraps, bandages, medications and who knew what else. I gently placed Lyndley down on the gurney and applied pressure to the wound.
“Okay, I need you to cut her top off so I can have better access to the wound.” Ruger handed me scissors and as much as I knew she would kick my ass for it later, I made quick work of cutting off her top, exposing her entire torso.
“What is this place?”
“Given the job we do and the fact that I’m out in the middle of nowhere, let’s just say it’s helpful to have a room like this.” He laughed. “Okay, now grab the package of sterile utensils on that wall.” He pointed to the wall behind me. “Now hand me the scissors that look like tweezers.” I handed them over and quickly grabbed a pair of gloves from the stack that he had thrown down on the metal table next to us. “Okay, you ready?”
I nodded, uncertain of whether or not I really was. “What do you need me to do?”
“Just listen to everything I say and don’t hesitate. Not even for a second, or we risk the chance of losing her.”
“Okay. Ready.”
“Move your shirt on the count of three. One, two, three.” I pulled back my blood soaked shirt and immediately blood began pooling on her chest and dripping off of her in every direction. Ruger quickly stuck the tweezer like scissors into the open wound, searching for the bullet. This was one moment I was thankful that Lyndley was passed out, and couldn’t feel or hear anything that was going on.
“Got it.” Ruger stood there with the bullet in hand. “Hand me the thread and needle.” I did as he asked and stood back in amazement as he stitched up her wound. When he was done, I grabbed a stack of gauze and pressed it firmly against her skin before securing them in place with the medical tape he had handed me. “Now we just wait for her to wake up. I’m going to give her a shot of morphine, just so she doesn’t wake up in excruciating pain. Let’s get her wiped up and covered, and then I need to show you something.”
I nodded in agreement as I made my way over to the small sink in the corner with a stack of towels. I quickly wet them down, and then proceeded to clean off all of the blood from Lyndley’s chest and neck. After I was done, I laid a blanket that Ruger had given me on top of her, and then washed myself up. I walked over to Lyndley’s lifeless body and bent down low to her ear.
“Come back to me, princess. Be the strong girl I know you to be, and come back to me.” I pressed a soft kiss to her forehead and then made my way out of the room, looking back at her beautiful sleeping form.
Ruger was waiting for me outside the door when I exited the room, making sure to close the door behind me. I tossed my shirt in the wastebasket as we headed out towards the living room, and went to go upstairs to grab another, but Ruger grabbed my shoulder to stop me.
“Don’t even worry about it at the moment. We have more important things to deal with.”
I nodded and followed him out front onto the porch. There tied up against the metal railing, sat Kristy. I glanced between him and her at least a million times before I finally found it in myself to say something.
“What the fuck, are you doing here?” Kristy looked up at me, petrified.
“Wait, you know her?” Ruger sounded confused and I could only imagine how this all looked.
“Yeah, she’s Davis’ daughter that I was telling you about. And now, she’s going to be Davis’ dead daughter.” I reached for my gun and aimed it right between her eyes. “Any last words?”
Twenty Nine
Lyndley
I remember when I was little I used to be oblivious to the outside world. I had a picture perfect family and the perfect picture life to go along with it, and I never stopped to question how I got so lucky. Little did I know that there were so many kids out there with lives that were almost unimaginable. Lives like the one that Ky was forced to live.
In some ways I wish my parents wouldn’t have kept me so sheltered my entire life. Maybe if I had been more aware of the things that happened in other families, then I wouldn’t have been so naïve when it came to my current predicament. Unfortunately for me, all I had ever known throughout my life was good. I wouldn’t take back any of the things that my parents did for me, but sometimes I just wish I had grown up a bit more jaded.
My heart ached for Ky and the innocence that was ripped away from him at such a young age. No child should ever have to endure all of the heartache and pain that he had been forced to deal with. I wanted him to know what it felt like to be truly loved by someone whole-heartedly and unapologetically. Knowing some of his story put things with him and I into perspective, and I didn’t want to waste another minute fighting against what felt so right.
In the short amount of time that I had known this man he had done nothing but put my needs in front of his own. He protected me in a way that made me appreciate him more than any other man. I felt safe with him, and that sense of security tugged at my heartstrings in a way that I never thought possible. He was a man with many layers, but I was willing to break down the wall he had put up, brick by brick to expose the loving and caring man I had seen him be.
Glimpses of my family kept running through my mind like an old black and white movie. I could vividly see my sometimes adoring mother, and my tenderhearted father. But it was the flashes of my little sister that hurt my heart the most. She was so young and innocent and if I could, I would protect her from everything evil in this world. I never wanted her to feel the pain and agony that I had been feeling. She was the type of girl that deserved great love and an even greater life.
I could feel the tears spilling out of the corner of my eyes and slowly rolling down my cheeks as I looked back at the loving people I was forced to leave behind. There wasn’t anything I wouldn’t do for them, and I was determined to get back to that life, to make sure I did everything in my power to make them happy again. I could only imagine the torment and heartbreak that they were dealing with thinking that their daughter, and sister, was forever gone.
As I lay on whatever hard surface I was on, I fought to open my eyes. Somehow, I knew I would eventually find the strength in me to do just that and come back to the man that I now considered being my one true love. It wasn’t my time yet, and I wasn’t ready to give up on the life we were falsely creating for ourselves. No matter how fake it looked to the outside world, I knew how I truly felt, and a part of me knew that Ky
felt the same.
My emotions were boiling over and for the first time in my entire life, I didn’t want to push them back down. I wanted to feel everything. But more than that, I needed to feel them. I needed to mourn the friend I had lost and the life that I could no longer go back to. But most of all, I needed to let myself live again, and be loved if I was lucky enough to have that presented to me.
As I lay there staring at the ceiling in my still groggy state, my mind went back to my tenth birthday party. I could remember it as though it happened yesterday. I remember my father coming home early that day, which was a very odd thing for him. My father rarely took time off and his career was his life for so long that most of my memories consisted of him showing up late to all my functions, or dance recitals, but he was always there one way or another.
I remember sitting on the porch in my fancy yellow dress he had bought me the previous week, waiting for him to show up. When his car came into view and started pulling in the driveway, I could no longer contain my excitement and I ran full speed into his outstretched arms. It was a day that I wouldn’t soon forget. He scooped me up and spun me around at least a dozen times before finally setting my feet back on the ground beneath me.
This was the birthday that I got exactly what I asked for, and probably one of my most favorite days ever. He reached back into his car and pulled out a pink leather bound journal that I had spotted at a bookstore at least six months prior. The feel of the leather beneath my fingertips as I traced the engraved heart sent shivers down my spine and a comforting feeling spread throughout me. As I pulled back the cover, I noticed an inscription my father had written, and every day since I read those words, I repeated them to myself.
To my baby girl,
Love is something earned and not given. Remember this as this journal travels with you through every adventure you will take in life.
Protecting Lyndley Page 13
