by Lacey Thorn
But now. Now it hurt. She should feel justified. She should feel validated. But she didn’t. She just felt lost and, God help her, ashamed of her behavior. Perhaps if she hadn’t let ten years of anger and hurt build up inside her, it would be different. What happened so long ago wasn’t her fault. But her behavior today was. And she’d hurt her mother for no other reason than the fact that she could.
“Do you know where my parents live?”
“Yeah, we’ve been to a few gatherings there with Dante. Why?” Gabe turned a quick glance her way as he asked before focusing once more on the road.
“I need to go there. I… I have something to do.”
“Gianna, don’t you think you’ve been through enough today?” Tony pulled her close again as he spoke.
“I’ve been through enough to last a lifetime. But that’s no excuse for what I did today.” She glanced at him and she wondered if he could see the remorse in her eyes. “Did you see her face? My mother? I destroyed her today.”
“It sounds like she had it coming.” Tony’s anger surprised her. She was sleeping with him but she hadn’t expected him to be so mad on her behalf.
“No, she didn’t. She was wrong. But so was I. I let things go on the way they were because I was ashamed. I felt guilty. I can’t lay that at her door.”
“Your mom believed the worst of you and wouldn’t give you a chance to tell her the truth. I’d say that tells its own story.” Gabe sounded just as angry as Tony.
“I thought about getting an abortion. When Michael and his mom mentioned it. They made it sound like the only clear choice, like I should jump at the opportunity. Michael didn’t want our baby. I was young and had my whole life ahead of me. Did I really want a baby weighing me down?”
“Gianna, you were young. If I ever run into this Michael, I might seriously go to jail for murder.” Tony’s jaw was rigid as he spoke.
“His mom’s even worse. What kind of woman does that?” Gabe shook his head.
“I should have gone to my mom then. But I was ashamed. I was always doing and saying things to drive my mother crazy. I was a wild child, always stirring up trouble and not caring about the consequences. And when she kicked me out, I could have stayed and argued. I could have forced her to listen. But I didn’t. Because I felt like it was the least I deserved. I didn’t deserve her love, my family’s love. I didn’t deserve anything.”
“Gianna, don’t.” Tony put his finger to her lips, halting her words. “You were a girl. You were young and impulsive. You’re not the only teenager who ever found herself pregnant. But to go through all that you went through alone. I can’t fathom that. No one deserves that.”
“That was my choice. I could have given them my name at any time and my family would have been called.”
“How exactly did that work?” Gabe asked. “Did you use a fake name? I’m not sure how you received treatment without parental consent?”
“I was bleeding out by the time I got there. The baby started growing in my fallopian tube. I didn’t know, didn’t realize that the pain I was feeling wasn’t normal. I passed out at some point and when I woke up the procedure was over. The baby was gone and I was told what happened. I didn’t have any ID on me, so they had no one to contact. When the doctor left, I got dressed and snuck out before the nurse could come back. I pretended like I’d been visiting someone else and just walked out. I sent them a donation when I started modeling. I always felt bad for walking out. They saved my life that day.”
“I’m glad they did.” Tony squeezed her hand.
“Me too.” Gabe added, giving her other hand a squeeze.
“All this time I’ve been angry with my mother. So angry with her. It’s just dawning on me that it was never about her. It was always about me and my guilt. I punished us both by leaving all those years ago. I robbed us both of ten years.” She shook her head as Tony started to interrupt. “No. It’s true. My mom isn’t the evil tyrant I tried to make her out to be. It was easier for me to feel like she was. I could justify staying away then. It wasn’t my fault then. And it’s not entirely my fault. But it’s not hers either. And I think we’ve both suffered enough. My mother is torn up with Stephano in the hospital. She doesn’t deserve my baggage on top of that. I need to make this right. I have to.”
“You are an amazing woman, Gianna Marquetti.” Gabe pulled the truck to the curb and turned off the engine. “I’m so grateful that you’re a part of my life.”
“I hope you continue to be one,” Tony added.
“I’d like that.” She smiled. “But first I have to do what I should have done ten years ago. I have to talk to my mother. No anger. No blame.”
“You want us to go with you?” Tony asked the question but he seemed to expect the shake of her head. He opened the door and helped her out. “We’ll wait for you here then.”
“No, go on back to the hotel. I’ll see you guys later.”
“Are you sure?” Gabe probed her gaze with his.
She wasn’t sure if he was asking if she was sure she wanted to go alone or if she was sure about seeing them later. But the answer was the same either way. “I’m sure. If I don’t have a ride later I’ll call you. I have both of your numbers in my phone now.” She let her gaze slide back and forth between them. “I promise. I’m okay.”
Gabe nodded. Tony pulled her in for a hug and brushed his lips over the top of her head. “Whatever you need, Gianna. We’re here.”
“I know.”
He let her go and she walked down the sidewalk toward the front door of her childhood home. Memories threatened to overwhelm her. The good ones far outweighing that one bad day.
The door opened before she even reached the porch. Her father stood there. He looked broken. Had she done that to him? Had her poisonous words put the grief on his face?
“Stephano?” She voiced the question as soon as it filled her mind. Had something happened when she left?
“He’s still sleeping. The doctors expect him to wake up any time. When I left that friend of yours agreed to sit with him.”
She nodded her head. “Is Mamma here?”
“She’s resting.”
“I—”
“I love you, Gianna Nicollete Marquetti. Hearing your pain…” His voice choked up and he had to take a breath before he could continue. “It killed me. I want to hunt down that dirty bastard Michael and break a few things on him myself. I love you, girl.”
Tears streamed down her face. “I love you too, Pops.”
She moved into his open arms. This was where she had found comfort for every pain suffered in childhood. Right here in her father’s arms.
“Your mamma, she loves you too. What you said…”
“I’m so sorry. I was hurt and angry and… I don’t know. Can I please talk to Mamma?”
“Let her in, Salvatore.” Her mother’s voice carried from inside the house.
Gianna felt as if someone punched her in the stomach when she walked in and saw her mother. Belinda’s face was haggard. Her eyes were red and swollen from crying. Still her mother stood tall and proud. Marquetti pride.
“You have more you need to say to me, Gianna.” Her mother nodded. “Let’s go into the other room.”
She turned and walked away without looking back. Gianna followed behind, taking her time and looking at the house she had left ten years earlier. She saw that even after what had happened all that time ago, her parents still had her picture on the wall. Very little had changed. There were new pictures added. Angelo and his fiancée Cara. Isabella and Sampson. And even one of Phoebe and Dante adorned the hallway table.
When she finally joined her mother in the living room, Belinda was seated on the sofa. Her hands were clasped in her lap. Her spine was straight and only her face showed the signs of an earlier crying jag. Here was where the center of Gianna’s strength lay, in the example of her mother. She rushed over and fell to her knees on the floor in front of where her mother sat.
“I’m so sor
ry, Mamma.” She tried to keep talking but the tears started up again and she pressed her lips together to hold back a fresh wave of sobs. She should be cried out by now. She should have nothing left. But it seemed to be endless today.
Her mother surprised her by sliding to her knees beside her and gathering her close.
“No, Gianna. I am the one who bears fault here. I should have listened. I should have made you sit and speak to me. Instead I pushed you away and let you stay there. I am to blame.” She felt her mother’s tears on her skin and cried even harder.
Had she really thought the little girl in her was long gone? It seemed this was all it took to remind her of that child. She clung to her mother, letting her mother’s words soothe wounds buried too long. It was comforting, listening to her mother slip back and forth between English and Italian as she always did when her emotions were high.
They stayed that way for a long time. Until both their tears were dried and the smell of fresh hot coffee filled the air around them.
“Now this is what I like to see.” Her father’s voice carried as he entered carrying two cups of steaming java. “Two of my favorite women holding to each other.” He sat the cups down and Gianna saw the tears fill his eyes.
“Stop the waterworks, old man,” her mother ordered him as she used the couch to stand up. “I can see from here that coffee is the dark sludge you drink. I’ll go get my own cup. Maybe a good, strong cup of tea.”
She walked out and Gianna stood and watched her.
“Your mother needs a minute to catch her breath.” He moved over to sit on the sofa and patted the seat beside him. “We’ll just give her a few minutes.”
Gianna sat next to him and snuggled in when he held his arms wide to her. He wrapped her in a hug and squeezed her impossibly closer. “I’m so glad you’re home. You need to stay. Be around your family. Dante finally came home and now it’s time for you to do the same.” He didn’t give her time to respond. “You’ve gone off and seen the world. You’ve made something of yourself. And I’m proud of you. I always knew you would go far. Surely you can take some time away. Make this your home and when you have to fly out for some modeling thing, you can do it from here.” He leaned back and tilted her chin up to look in her eyes. “We need you, Gianna. Your mamma and I… Well, we’re not getting any younger.”
“Speak for yourself Salvatore.” Her mother spoke from the doorway. “I’m still young and spry. Plenty strong for when the grandbabies start coming.” Her mother’s face went white as she realized what she’d said.
“It’s okay, Mamma. I came to terms with the fact that I won’t have children a long time ago.”
“Nonsense.” Her father swiped his hand through the air. “There are plenty of children in the country who are in need of a good home and good role models. Lots of older children who crave love and affection but get overlooked. Who better to show them what is possible than my Gianna?”
Gianna laughed. She’d never really thought of adoption. But, maybe, someday, further down the road, it would be something to think about.
“She’s not even married yet, Salvatore. Marriage, Gianna. What we need to do is find you a good man.”
Gianna shook her head. Just like that the past was over. They wouldn’t dwell on it. Most likely it would never be brought up again. It really was that simple with her family.
“There’s that new guy at the firehouse.” Her father nodded. “He’s a hard worker. Solid head on his shoulders. Volunteers at the youth center with the boys.”
Gianna shook her head. “I’m seeing someone already.” And where had those words come from? What was she going to say when they asked—
“Who is this man? Where is he from? Does he come from a good, loving family?
Pops looked at her, his piercing gaze making her feel like a fish on a hook.
“Well, ummm, he’s a friend of Dante’s.”
Well, they were. How did she tell her mother and father that she was sort of having a thing with two men? They were sleeping together. And she’d shared more emotionally with them in the past few days than she had with any man in the past ten years. It was happening way too fast and everything could go wrong. But she wanted to see where it could go. She wanted to have more than a fling. And she wanted it with both Tony and Gabe. She didn’t want to choose. She wouldn’t.
“Do you mean Gabe or Tony?” her mother asked.
“Yes.” Gianna nodded.
“Well, that’s wonderful.” Her father looked really happy. “Dante speaks highly of both of them.”
“Which one have you met and started seeing?”
Gianna had no idea how to answer her mother’s question. So she went as close to the truth as she dared at the moment. She’d just found her way back home. It was probably too soon to rock the boat again just yet.
“I haven’t decided yet. So I’ve been seeing both of them.”
“Gianna!” her mother exploded.
“Good to play the field.” Her father nodded and Gianna almost choked. If he only knew just how she was playing that field.
“These are good boys. Good friends to your brother. You can’t play with their emotions or lead them on.”
“I’m not, Mamma. I like them both. Gabe is funny and wonderful. He makes me laugh and smile and feel so alive.”
“It is a good thing to find a man who can make you laugh.” Her mother nodded sagely.
“But Tony is so sweet and understanding. He makes me feel like he never wants to let me go.”
“That is the man for you. A woman should always be treasured and treated as if she is the most important part of his life.” The soft look Pops bestowed on her mother as he spoke warmed Gianna’s heart.
“I agree. With both of you. That’s why I’m seeing them both. They know it and they don’t mind.”
“Well, a little competition is good for a man. Nothing gets the blood pumping like thinking another man is making time with your woman.”
Gianna almost choked as she thought of that pumping blood and making time.
“Just make sure no one gets hurt, Gianna. Especially you.” Her mom sat her teacup on the table and walked over to hug Gianna close. “I just want you to be happy.”
Gianna was pretty sure she was going to hell. She’d made it so that her parents would think nothing of seeing her with Tony, Gabe or both of them together. But she hadn’t told them the entire truth. Her only consolation was that she didn’t really know herself where things were headed yet. Only where she hoped they were. Which reminded her, she needed to get back to the hotel, and the two men who were waiting for her.
She felt as if she were being given a fresh start. She was home and the tension and anxiety she’d carried for ten years was easing away. She’d already planned to walk away from her modeling career and her dad was right. If she wanted to do the occasional shoot, she could fly out just as easily from here as from anywhere else in the world. Rocky would personally make sure it wasn’t a problem.
There was only one thing left to do. She needed to go talk to Tony and Gabe and see what they were thinking. To see if her emotional outburst had scared them off. She doubted it. Both of them had shown compassion and affection in the truck. She honestly thought maybe they had genuine feelings for her, or at least the start of them. She felt the same way. She just needed to convince them to stay around too. Who knew what the future might hold?
Chapter Nine
Gabe paced the room, continuously glancing at his cell phone and willing Gianna to call. He’d wanted to wait in the truck at the curb for her but Tony didn’t want them to look like stalkers.
“I think I could very easily fall in love with her.” Tony’s words pierced the silence and had Gabe halting in midstep.
Tony sighed and ran his fingers through his hair. “I’m half convinced that I already am. Hearing her today… What she went through and seeing how she moved forward and made such a success of herself.” He shook his head. “You don’t find a woman with t
hat type of strength and courage every day. I can’t walk away from her. If she leaves…”
“We go with her,” Gabe finished when Tony just trailed off.
“Yeah, if she’ll let us,” Tony added.
Gabe moved to the bed and sat down facing Tony. “We’ve shared our women many times. But it was never like this. The emotions were never involved. It was sex. It was good. We had it as long as we could, whenever we could. But neither of us really invested ourselves in those women.”
“I know,” Tony agreed.
“Gianna is different. I know that I’m falling in love with her. More with every new thing I learn about her.”
“So what are you saying? You don’t want to share her anymore?” Tony sat up straight in the chair, his fists clenching at his sides.
“No, I’m saying we need to think about this. We’ve never gone this far before. There are things that will come up and we need to make sure that we’re okay with it before we put that baggage on her.”
Tony eased back in his chair. “Like what?”
“If things get serious, then we’ll have to deal with gossip. She’ll have to deal with it.”
“She’s had enough of that shit in her life.”
“Exactly!” Gabe nodded his agreement. “So we need to figure out what rules to follow. Who plays the role of boyfriend in public. And who is content with only showing it in private.”
“Shit.” Tony muttered the curse.
“What if things get really serious?” Gabe kept going. “What if we ask her to marry us, to stay forever? Whose name does she take?”
“You’re depressing the hell out of me and we don’t even know if she wants to stick around yet. I think you’re borrowing trouble. Just let it go for now.”
“I can’t help it. I want to protect her from any more bad stuff.”
Tony shook his head. “We can’t. Not unless you want to lock her away and never let her out. All we can do is be there if and when something does happen. To show her that she’ll never face anything alone again.”
“My head knows you’re right. My heart is still protesting. Her tears… It killed me to see her hurting like that.”
