Initiate

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Initiate Page 9

by Christina Garner


  Kai didn’t knock, just let herself in and held the door for Sarah. The house was eclectic and cool with strands of light casting everything in a warm glow. Upbeat music played in the background, and a few couples danced energetically, smiles on their sweaty faces. Lesbian couples. Sarah glanced around. The living room was full, but there wasn’t a guy anywhere. This was a full-on lesbian party.

  Newsflash, Sarah, you’re a full-on lesbian.

  A girl with jet-black hair and a nose ring greeted them. “Glad you could make it.” She was holding hands with a tall redhead.

  They hugged Kai before turning to Sarah. “So you’re the one who has Kai in such a good mood all the time.”

  Sarah blushed. “Guilty.”

  After the introductions, Kai took her to get some drinks. Sarah downed the first one in a few gulps and poured herself another.

  Kai glanced at her, surprised. “Careful, there. You’re a lightweight, remember?”

  “Just a long day.” Sarah took a sip.

  “Want to talk about it?”

  Sarah shook her head. “Actually, I’d like to forget about it.”

  She smiled and tapped her glass to Kai’s.

  Soon Sarah felt good, relaxed. She even let Kai pull her onto the dance floor. The music was fun and upbeat, and Sarah was free—moving her hips and twirling around.

  A slow song played and Kai pulled Sarah close, wrapping her arms around her. Sarah felt warm all over, but that quickly changed to hot.

  She pushed Kai away. “I-I need some air.”

  Sarah dashed to the kitchen and opened a window. The cold air helped; she no longer thought she might pass out. She wiped the perspiration from her brow.

  “Are you okay?” Kai came up behind her and put a hand on her back.

  “Sorry, I… I guess you were right about that second drink.”

  Kai mumbled, “Third,” under her breath and Sarah frowned, irritated she’d been counting. What was she, her mother?

  “Is that the only thing that’s wrong?”

  Sarah turned away from the window. “What else would it be?”

  Kai shrugged. “Nothing, I guess.”

  She leaned in for a kiss, but Sarah turned her head.

  “I told you, not in public.” Sarah took a step back.

  Kai’s dark eyes flashed. “We aren’t in public. We’re with my friends, who happen to all be lesbians.”

  “Yeah.” Sarah glanced around the room. “I see that.”

  Kai balked. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

  “It means… Don’t you hang out with any straight people?”

  “Yeah, every single day. It’s called my life, and it’s surrounded by straight people. So is yours. You just seem to prefer it that way.”

  Kai spun on her heel.

  “Wait. I’m sorry.” Sarah grabbed her arm. “I’m just not ready for everyone to know.”

  “This isn’t everyone. This is a handful of people who won’t judge you.” Kai searched her eyes, but Sarah focused on the floor. “I’m starting to think that others judging you isn’t the problem.”

  “What do you mean?” Sarah forced herself to meet Kai’s gaze.

  “I mean it’s you. You’re the one with the judgment issues. You’re the one who can’t accept who you are.”

  “Are you kidding?” Sarah squeezed her hand. “I can’t get enough of you.”

  “Only behind closed doors. You’re still in the closet, Sarah, and I get it because I’ve been there. But I stopped hiding years ago, and I’m not going back.”

  Sarah shook her head. “I wouldn’t want you to.”

  “But you do. You couch it in ‘having me all to yourself,’ but what you really mean is, ‘let’s keep this our little secret.’ I saw your face when I introduced you as my girlfriend the other night.” Her words made Sarah’s stomach twist. “Is that why you left so early?”

  The lie was on the tip of her tongue, but Sarah nodded. “I’m sorry, I—”

  “It’s fine. Like I said, I’ve been there. And I’m trying to be patient, but I live an out life. If you want to share that life with me…”

  “I do.” Sarah squeezed her hand harder. “I really, really do.”

  Kai laid a hand on her cheek. “Then you’re going to need to find a way to come to grips with people knowing who you are, and who I am to you.”

  Sarah swallowed, the ultimatum settling under her skin.

  “I’m gonna go back to the party. You can join me, or you can take some time to think about what you want.”

  Sarah hesitated. Alcohol and emotions swirled in her brain.

  That moment of indecision cost her. When Kai dropped her hand, it felt to Sarah as if she were dropping her too.

  She watched Kai walk away, willing herself to go after her. Telling herself to stop being such a coward. But her legs wouldn’t obey. Instead, they carried her out the back door.

  Quinn’s shift ran late, leaving Eden to stew in her own thoughts, which was never helpful.

  By the time he picked her up, she’d convinced herself he was not only going to break up with her but sell her out to the local news.

  Local sorority under fire after claims of witchcraft and demon slaying.

  Her phone chimed with his text. He was outside. The walk to his car felt longer than usual.

  The first words out of his mouth were, “We need to talk.”

  Eden’s heart sank. “I figured.” She fiddled with the zipper of her purse.

  They rode back to his apartment in silence, and Eden tried to convince herself that if he were going to dump her, he would have done it in the driveway of Coventry House.

  Back at his apartment, Bella greeted them by prancing in circles. Eden knelt down, nuzzling her, taking comfort in the softness of her fur.

  Quinn tossed the dog a treat and pointed to her bed. Once she’d settled, he turned to Eden. “I’m guessing Sarah told you.”

  “What she said? Yeah.” Eden took off her coat and laid it on the back of a chair, her stomach doing flips.

  “It was…upsetting.” He sat on the sofa.

  “I know, but it’s okay now.” She sat down next to him. “He’s dead.”

  “Sarah told me you were the one who killed him.”

  Eden swallowed and nodded. Is that how he saw her now? As a killer?

  “I guess I was right about you being a superhero.” He gave her a tight smile.

  “Huh?” Had she just heard him correctly? “You mean you’re not mad?”

  “Mad?” He appeared genuinely surprised. “No, Sarah said he’d kidnapped you guys, and something about batteries which sounded worse, actually…”

  “It would have been. I swear, I didn’t have another choice.”

  “Eden, I’m not upset that you stopped someone from hurting you and your friends. I’d actually like to hear the whole story when you’re ready.”

  “What is it then?” Eden suddenly felt small and gave voice to what she was really afraid of. “Are you scared I might have liked it, or that killing him turned me evil, or—”

  “What?” He was visibly taken aback. “No. It’s… I’m not afraid that you’re evil. You could never be evil.” He touched her face. “I’m afraid of what messing with this stuff might do to you.” He dropped his hand and turned his head, as if struggling with what to say next. “I haven’t told you this, but…I had a sister.”

  “You did?”

  The past tense made her heart break.

  “Her name was Laura, and she was two years younger. We were close, but siblings, you know? We fought, but I loved her.”

  His expression twisted with pain and Eden hurt along with him.

  “What happened?” She placed her hand on his knee.

  Quinn shook his head. “That’s just it. I still don’t know. She didn’t leave a note or tell us why…”

  “You mean… Did she?” Eden couldn’t make herself say the words.

  “One night—just a normal Tuesday as far as I was co
ncerned—she swallowed an entire bottle of pills.” Eden’s breath caught thinking of the pain she must have been in, and the pain her action had caused Quinn’s family. “All we found was a book with passages she’d underlined. One of them said something about how a person doesn’t kill themselves, they just slowly lose the fight to stay alive.”

  Quinn stood and began to pace. Eden wanted to go to him but could tell he needed the movement to keep telling the story.

  “The thing is, none of us had any idea Laura was even depressed. She didn’t wear all black or do drugs. She had a ton of friends. Her grades were decent. My sister was fighting a life or death battle, and no one so much as noticed. I didn’t notice.” Quinn stopped pacing and turned to Eden.

  “And you’re afraid that might happen to me?” she said quietly.

  “I know you’re not my sister, and I don’t think you’re depressed.”

  “I’m not,” Eden said quickly.

  “But I didn’t think she was either. Fighting demons, killing them. Forget how scared that makes me for you. Something like that has to take a toll. Especially on someone like you.” He brushed her cheek. “I just don’t want to lose you to the darkness the way I did her.”

  “You won’t.” Eden took his hand and pulled him close. “The demon was a one-time thing. Carolyn says they’re so rare, most witches go their whole lives without even seeing one.” She laid a hand on his cheek. “Trust me when I tell you, I have seen true darkness, and I want no part of it. I am deeply, firmly in the light.”

  “That’s good to hear.” He laid his hand on top of hers. “If that ever changes…”

  “I will tell you. I promise. And I’m really, really sorry about your sister.”

  He wrapped her in his arms and Eden laid her head on his chest, listening to the steady beat of his heart. How much more proof did she need that darkness should be avoided at all costs?

  Chapter 11

  Eden cursed under her breath as she failed for the fifth time.

  “It looks like you’re forcing it.” Jules tilted her head as she studied Eden’s technique. “It’s not so much about forcing, but allowing.”

  “Allowing?”

  It didn’t feel that way to Eden at all. Once she opened herself to the energies, she was enveloped by light. And thank the gods, because the alternative…

  Jules gave another demonstration—the translucent jewel winking into existence—and Eden tried again to mimic what she’d done.

  Allow.

  The gaping hole inside of her beckoned, and she filled it with light. That was how she always began. If she didn’t, she knew it would swallow her whole.

  A minute later she was no closer to succeeding, and pressure built in her sinuses.

  She opened her eyes. “I don’t know what’s wrong with me.”

  A picture flashed in Eden’s mind of the borahn being consumed by flames. She became overwhelmed with the stench of his flesh, the fear in his eyes, the power coursing through her veins.

  “Are you okay?”

  Eden’s eyes refocused, and she found herself staring at the relic clenched in her hand. She relaxed her fingers, and a single drop of blood splattered onto it.

  “Yeah, fine.” Eden tried to conceal her fear but sprang from her seat and grabbed a tissue. “The artificial heat dries my sinuses.”

  She was supposed to be done with lying.

  “Do you want to take a break?”

  Head tilted back and pinching the bridge of her nose, Eden glanced down at Jules. “I really need to get this right. Can you stay a little longer?”

  Jules smiled. “You know me. I never get enough practice.”

  The flow had stopped, so Eden threw away the tissue and sat back down. “Yeah, well, you’re not so much practicing as saving my ass, so thank you.”

  “You saved my life. I’m pretty sure I’ll be in your debt for a while.” Jules handed the stone back to Eden. “Let’s try again, but this time…”

  Eden did her best to pay attention to the instructions, but all she saw was the the flesh of the demon as it burned. The demon who thought she was the monster.

  Jules left Eden’s room feeling bad she hadn’t been more helpful.

  I tried everything I could think of.

  On the way back to her room, she bumped into Haley.

  “Guess what?” Her eyes shone with excitement. “I just got off the phone with my mom. She’s really happy with the progress I’ve made since I transferred. She said if I keep it up, she’ll talk to Council about letting me stay on after I graduate.”

  “Stay on?” Jules’s mouth went dry.

  “Yeah, like a resident advisor or something. Kinda like Alex but with less…Alex. And paid! She’s going to call in a favor and see about getting me a stipend.”

  “Wow.” The words were a punch to the gut. “I didn’t even know you wanted that.”

  “I didn’t, not at first. But everyone has been so great, and with all the help you’ve been giving me… Magic is fun again. Who knows? I could end up running this place someday.”

  “Yeah. Who knows?”

  Haley dashed off down the hall, a bounce in her step.

  Haley was talented and personable, and she might not work as hard as Jules, but she made a decent effort. Carolyn wouldn’t have a good enough reason to pick Jules over her, even if she wanted to.

  Jules could do anything and everything to make herself indispensable, but there was one thing she couldn’t do. Get a mother who had pull with the Council.

  Sarah finally understood why she always felt worst for the Cowardly Lion when she watched The Wizard of Oz. She knew the pain of not having courage.

  She was still kicking herself for leaving the party last night.

  Kai must hate me.

  Except she didn’t. She’d texted to make sure Sarah had made it home okay. But when Sarah asked if she wanted to get breakfast this morning, she’d responded that maybe they should give it a few days.

  Sarah understood the implication: she had a few days to stop being a wuss, or Kai was going to break up with her.

  Can you blame her?

  She usually didn’t put much stock in what people thought about her and rarely even flinched when Alex started in. But she did care about this. She got the feeling maybe Kai was right—it wasn’t just about others knowing she was gay—it was how she felt about herself.

  Sarah worked up what little courage she had and knocked on Jules’s door. She would be the least threatening person to come out to. For one, they were good friends; and for two, after what Alex had said, she probably already knew.

  Jules called for her to come in, and when Sarah opened the door, she found Eden there too.

  “Oh, are you guys practicing? I can come back later.”

  “No, come in.” Eden gestured. “We were actually just going to come get you.”

  “What’s up?” Sarah took a seat.

  “How do you feel about hiking?” Jules asked.

  “I feel like it sounds more fun in theory than in practice.” Sarah was not particularly outdoorsy.

  “How do you feel about hiking if it means we get to do a sacred wishing ritual at that vortex we passed on Samhain?” Eden asked.

  A smile crept across Sarah’s face. She knew just what to wish for.

  Ani flexed her fingers then balled them into a fist.

  “I am done waiting around.”

  “Don’t be ridiculous.” Her brother flashed that look, as though he was the one who had a right to be annoyed. “We’re closer than we’ve ever been.”

  “Close? We’re across town from it. And it’s locked up like the crown freaking jewels in a house full of witches.”

  “I told you, I’m working on something. I just need some more time.”

  Time required patience, and she had precious little left.

  “I still say we just grab one of them.”

  He appeared even more exasperated. “And I still say, we can’t risk that kind of attention.


  “It won’t bring any attention if we do it right.”

  He paced the way he always did when he was anxious. “You’re letting that power go to your head. Remember, it isn’t yours.”

  “Really?” She sparked a small ball of fire in her hand and watched as it hissed and danced. “Because it sure feels like mine. And if you don’t find a way to get that stone soon, we’re doing this my way.”

  The tinkle of a bell caused both their heads to whip around to the map spread out on the table. They hurried to it.

  “It’s on the move.” He sounded excited, all traces of frustration gone.

  Ani watched as the tiny shadow representing the stone drifted along the main road out of town.

  “Let’s go.” She grabbed her coat and threw one to her brother. “Bring the map.”

  As they raced to the car, Ani checked the contents of her last vial. It was violet and glowed faintly from within. It would be enough. And if it wasn’t…

  That’s what my knife is for.

  Eden turned the vehicle off onto the dirt road and slowed to a near crawl. Quinn had been kind enough to loan her his car, and she wasn’t about to bust an axle as a thank you.

  “So tell me again how this ritual works,” Sarah said from the back seat.

  She’d been even easier to convince than Eden had expected. They each seemed to have their own reason for needing a wish granted.

  “We make an offering.” Jules held up a bouquet of roses. “We light some candles.” She pointed to the bag next to Sarah. “And we focus our energy.”

  “And that’s enough to make a wish come true?” Sarah sounded skeptical.

  “Well, it’s not guaranteed. We’re petitioning the Goddess Selene. The vortex and the offering just make it more likely she’ll hear us.”

  “So it’s like a prayer that might work, might not, but it can’t hurt?”

  “Kind of,” Jules said.

  Eden didn’t think that sounded nearly as impressive as the way Jules had explained it to her earlier. She really needed a sure thing.

  Oh well. You’re almost there.

  Eden pulled to a stop where Jules indicated, and the trio got out and began to walk.

 

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