Norman, John - Gor 19 - Kajira of Gor.txt

Norman, John - Gor 19 - Kajira of Gor.txt Page 22

by Kajira of Gor [lit]

  insolence. Do not. aspire above your station, Drusus. I am a Tatrix. You are

  nothing, only a guard.”

  “Yes, Tatrix,” he said.

  “I hold you in contempt,” I said. “I scorn you. I am worlds above you.”

  “Yes, Tatrix,” he said.

  “And do not forget it,” I said.

  “No, Tatrix,” he said.

  “What are you doing?” I asked. I had seen his arm move, with the blade.

  “I am cleaning the blade, wiping it on my tunic,” he said.,

  “Cleaning it?” I asked.

  “In driving the men off, I wounded two of them,” he said.

  “Are you all right?” I asked.

  “Yes,” he said. I resisted an impulse to kneel before him, begging to lick the

  blood from the blade, begging him then to dry it in my hair.

  “Is it clean?” I asked.

  “Yes,” he said.

  “Do not sheathe it until we reach the palace,” I said. “The streets are dark.”

  “I have no intention of doing so,” he said.

  “At least,” I said, “I have satisfied myself as to the condition of the

  citizenry and the status of the city.”

  “How is that?” he asked.

  “’You heard, surely,” I said. “The people make light of privations. They are

  loyal. They are devoted to their Tatrix.”

  “Such are the answers to be given.to such questions in Corcyrus,” he said.

  “I do not understand,” I said.

  “The people are afraid,” he said. “You have inspired terror. Your rule is one of

  iron.”

  “I do not understand,” I said.

  “Fool, your spies are everywhere,” he said. “The people to whom you spoke

  probably mistook you, ironically enough, for one of your own spies.”

  “I have no spies,” I said.

  “I can name seven,” said Drusus Rencius. “How many you have, of course, I do not

  know.”

  I shuddered, confused. These spies, if, indeed, there were any, must be

  reporting to someone else, perhaps to Ligurious.

  “Will we light the torch on the way home?” I asked.

  “I think it will be safer to move silently in the darkness,” said Drusus

  Rencius.

  “Perhaps you are right,” I said, shuddering.

  “Please follow me, a bit behind,” said Drusus Rencius. “I mean this as no insult

  to you.”

  “I understand,” I said. I certainly had no objections, under the circumstance,

  to heeling him like a slave.

  “Are you coming?” he asked. He turned about.

  “It is so dark,” I said.

  “I do not think it will be safe to remain here,” he said. “Try to follow me.”

  “I am afraid,” I said. I could not see my footing.

  “Do you wish for me to carry you?” he asked.

  “And how would you do that?” I asked, apprehensively.

  “In my arms, with honor,” he said. “Did you think I would throw you over my

  shoulder like a bound slave?”

  I was silent. How did I know how Drusus Rencius would carry a woman,

  particularly a woman such as I sensed I might be. I did know how the other

  fellow had carried me, over his shoulder, bound, absolutely helpless, perhaps,

  indeed, like a slave.

  “It would be better for you to walk,” said Drusus Rencius. “In that fashion my

  sword arm would be unencumbered.”

  “Are these streets not supposed to be patrolled by guardsmen?” I asked.

  “Most of the guardsmen,” said Drusus Rencius, “have been sent to the west, to

  the front.”

  I was silent.

  “The forces of Ar will be difficult to hold,” said Drusus Rencius.

  “Of Ar!” I said.

  “Yes,” said Drusus Rencius. “Forces of Ar entered the fray after the seizure of

  the mines. Argentum, as you know, is an :ally of Ar.”

  I had not known this, basic though it might be. Many things, it seemed, bad not

  been made clear to me. I did know that we were supposed to have strong ties of

  one sort or another with the island ubarate of Cos. Susan, I knew, had been

  bought in Cos. I knew almost nothing of Ar. I did know that Drusus Rencius had

  once been of that city. Too, I knew it was one of the most powerful, if not the

  most powerful, City on Gor. In known Gor, it was rivaled only by Turia, in Gor’s

  southern hemisphere.

  “Our forces will be victorious,” I assured Drusus Rencius.

  “The enemy is already within twenty pasangs of Corcyrus, be said.

  “Take me back to the palace,” I said, “swiftly, please.”

  “Yes, Lady Sheila,” he said.

  He then turned about, and started off, through the darkness. I hurried along

  behind him, heeling him like a slave.

  I felt miserable, and terrified and sick In the palace I would be safe.

  11 Susan Has Been Beaten; Ligurious Speaks With Me; There is Nothing to Fear;

  I Am Safe in the Palace

  I was thrust into my quarters by a guard, and the door was shut behind me.

  A lamp was lit in the room. I heard whimpering.

  “Susanl” I cried.

  The girl lay on her belly, naked on the tiles. Even the silken collar sheath, of

  one color or another, which was usually worn, selected to match a tunic, was

  gone. Her neck was encircled by the bared, unadorned steel alone. She had been

  terribly whipped. I knelt beside the, girl. “The brutesl” I cried, softly. I

  touched her hair, gently. Tonight I knew she had danced the whip dance.

  “This was not done to me by guardsmen, Mistress,” she said. Then she began to

  sob.

  “By whom, then?” I demanded.

  “It was done to me by the slave master of Ligurious, on the orders of

  Ligurious,” she said.

  “But, why?” I asked.

  “Because I did not inform Ligurious that you had had Drusus Rencius summoned

  tonight to your quarters.”

  “How did he learn of this?” I asked.

  “Doubtless from a guard, and, too, that you had left the palace,” she said.

  “I am sorry, Susan,” I said. It had been I, I recalled, in the prosecution of my

  own plans, and in my desire for secrecy, who had suggested to Susan that the

  summoning of Drusus Rencius to my quarters need not be made known to Ligurious.

  “Why have you been put here?” I asked.

  “That you may see me, Mistress,” she sobbed.

  “It is all my fault,” I said.

  “No, Mistress,” she said. “It is my fault. I was not pleasing to my master.”

  Ligurious apparently bad been disturbed, particularly that I had left the

  palace. He, with guardsmen, with lanterns, had met Drusus Rencius and I at the

  small postern gate in the east wall of the palace grounds, that through which we

  had returned. Drusus Rencius had been detained there, and I had been hurried to

  my quarters.

  There wer
e suddenly two blows on the door, loud knocks. “Ligurious, first

  minister of Corcyrus,” announced a guard, from the other side of the door.

  I stood up, and went to the center of the room. I tried to stand very straight,

  very regally.

  “Enter,” I said.

  Ligurious entered.

  Susan, frightened, with an effort that must have been painful for her striped

  body, knelt, with her head down to the tiles, the palms of her hands on the

  floor, in that form of obeisance apparently required by Ligurious of his women.

  “To your kennel, Slave,” said Ligurious.

  Susan lifted her head. “Yes, Master!” she said.

  “Get out, Slut!” be said.

  “Yes, Masterl” she cried, and, springing to her feet, fled from the room.

  “You are up late,” observed Ligurious.

  “I was in the city,” I said, defiantly.

  “It can be dangerous’ in the city,” he said, “especially in these times, and at

  night.”

  I tossed my bead. He need not know what bad happened on the darkened street.

  “You must understand,” he said, “that I have a responsibility for your safety.”

  “It was not necessary that you treated Susan as you did,” I said.

  “Do not attempt to interfere in the relationship between a man and his slave,”

  he said. “That relationship is absolute.”

  “I see,” I said. I stepped back, frightened.

  “In the future,” he said, “you are not to leave the palace without my

  permission. In the meantime, you wilt remain here, confined to your quarters.”

  “Not” I cried.

  “Remove your veil,” he said, “and your outer robes, and slippers.”

  Frightened, I did so. I then stood before him in a long, off-the-shoulder,

  yellow, silken sliplike garment.

  “You now stand before a man, Lady Sheila,” he said, “as barefoot as a slave.”

  “I shall call the guardsl” I cried.

  “And whom do you think they will obey?” be asked.

  “I will call Drusus Rencius!” I cried.

  “He has been relieved of his duties,” said Ligurious. “He is no longer your

  guard.”

  “Oh,” I said.

  “And he seems pleased to be done with you.”

  “Oh,” I said. Now I could no longer torture Drusus, with my nearness and

  inaccessibility.

  “And I cannot say that I blame him,” Wd Ligurious. “For you seem to be a frigid

  little slut.”

  “Slut!” I cried.

  “Do not form an over-exalted opinion of yourself,” he said. “You are only a slut

  from Earth and no better than a female slave.”

  I looked at him with horror. He stepped toward me, and shrank back. Then I

  whimpered as I felt his strong hands grasp me by the upper arms. He looked down

  into my eyes.

  “Displease me in the least,” he said, “and I will put a brand in your hide and a

  collar on your neck. Do you understand?”

  I could not begin to free myself of his grasp. “Yes,” I said.

  “Yes!” I was terrified.

  He did not release me. He continued to look down into my eyes. He seemed to me

  terribly strong and large.

  “I wonder if I should subject you to rape discipline,” he mused.

  “No,” I said. “Please, no.” But I felt heat between my legs, and weakness and

  helplessness. I knew that my body was lubricating itself, preparing to receive

  him, if he should choose to have me.

  “You are so much like her,” he said, looking down into my eyes. “Who?” I asked.

  “One who makes me weak,” he smiled, “one with whom I am smitten.”

  “I am only a barbarian,” I said.

  “She, too, is a barbarian,” he said, “like yourself a barbarian beauty.”

  “Who is she?” I asked.

  “You do not know her,” be said. Then he removed his hands from me. “In

  character, of course, you are quite different. She is superior, lofty, noble,

  regal and fine. Girls like you, on the other hand, can be found in any market.

  Too, I think she is probably even more beautiful than you, though the

  resemblance is truly striking. And in intellect, in brilliance and decisiveness,

  of course, there is no comparison.”

  “Perhaps she should be Tatrix of Corcyrus, and not I,” I said, angrily.

  “Perhaps,” be smiled.

  I turned away from him. “I am the Tatrix of Corcyrus, am I not?” I asked.

  “Yes,” he said.

  “You know that I am from Earth,” I said. “How is it that I was brought here, to

  be Tatrix?”

  “We wished to go outside the city,” he said, “to find one from the outside, free

  of all connections and factions, to rule over us with wisdom and objectivity.”

  “I see,” I said. “Then I am truly the Tatrix of Corcyrus.”

  “Of course,” he said.

  “How is it, then,” I asked, “that I have been treated with rudeness, that even

  now I am barefoot in your presence?” I did not, of course, make an effort to put

  my slippers back on. I did not know if he would permit it. He had, of course,

  ordered me to remove them.

  “You are useful,” he said, “and you have your purposes. You are not, however,

  indispensable. It would be well for you to remember that. It might encourage you

  to be more cooperative.”

  “I suppose,” I said, “I should be pleased that you did not order me to strip

  completely and kneel before you.”

  “You are, of course,” he said, “a free woman.”

  “Yet it seems,” I said, “if only implicitly, you have threatened me.”

  “Suitable disciplines and punishments may be arranged for a free woman,” he

  said, “suitable to her status and dignity.”

  “I am sure of it,” I said, ironically.

  He then approached me, and stood quite close to me. I was facing away from him.

  “And yet,” he said, “I sense that such disciplines and punishments, those

  suitable for free women, would not be suitable for you.”

  “And what sorts of disciplines and punishments would be suitable for me?” I

  asked.

  He held me from behind, by the arms. I was helpless. “Such that would be

  appropriate for slaves,” he said.

  I stiffened, but I could not free myself.

  “You are so different from her,” he said. I felt his breath on the left side of

  my neck. “Your dispositions, your responses, the way you carry yourself, the way

  you move, how you speak.” I felt weak. “I sense,” he said, “wherein your deepest

  fulfillments would lie. I sense what it is that you need and want, what it is

  that without it you will never achieve your most perfect and complete self.”

  “What?” I asked.

  “The collar,” he said.
/>   “Nol” I cried.

  “Fight it and deny it, if you will,” he said. “Have your sport. But it is true.”

  “No,” I wept.

  “Consider your incredible femininity,” he said. “You have the curves, the

  softness, the instincts, the helplessness of the slave.”

  “Nol” I said. “I will try to be less feminine, and thus more of a womanl”

  “Words from the insane asylums on Earth,” he laughed. “Tbis is Gor. It is

  fortunate you are not a slave, or your true womanhood, the marvelous softness

  and depth of your femininity, revealed and manifested, would in all its fullness

  be required of you, and without compromise, even to the whip, by masters.”

  He then put his right hand in my hair and held my left wrist in his left hand.

  He drew my head back, painfully, untu even my back was bent backwards.

  “It is interesting,” he said, “how different she is from you.

  Yet, too, you seem in many ways so similar.” I whimpered, helplessly held. “Do

  you know that women such as you are born to the chain?” he asked.

  “No,” I said, strained. No

  “Yes,” he said, “and you will not be complete until it is on you.

  I whimpered helplessly. Why did he not drag me to the bed and take me?

  I understood then what true womanhood was. It was not the denial and frustration

  of femininity but the full surrender to it, being true to, and honest to, my

  deepest nature and needs. Femininity was not incompatible with womanhood. It was

  its expression.

  What insanities, what perversions, what sickness, I had been taught on Earthl

  “Ah, forgive me, Lady Sheila,” said Ligurious, as though concerned. “I almost

  forget, holding you in this fashion, that you are a free woman.”

  He then released me.

  I straightened up, and, turning about, pulled away from him, as though I had

  managed to free myself. V

  Ligurious bowed to me, from the waist, as though in deep apology. But he was

  smiling.

  I was horrified. I realized then that I must fight my femininity. I had learned,

  of course, that in doing this, far from expressing womanhood, I was frustrating

  and denying it, but that, in my terror, was what I then wished to do. I then,

  terribly, feared my womanhood, and that to which it might lead.

 

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