“I was thinking of someone else, not your situation. But I just don’t understand why anyone would give up their child. It’s not supposed to be that way.” He jabbed his finger at the air. “Parents are supposed to put their kids first.”
“Sometimes putting the child first means giving them up. And sometimes the parent isn’t given an option.”
The door opened and a woman Ryler didn’t know came in.
“I better get going.” He turned toward the lobby.
“Don’t forget your mail,” she called.
“Oh right.” He nabbed the envelopes he’d left on her counter. “And, Laken, thanks for being here.” She frowned then raised one eyebrow. “You’re welcome. I guess.”
Shell’s heart revved as she turned into the familiar drive. Home for the weekend.
Chance appeared at the window, a huge grin erupting on his face as he bounced up and down.
Her feet wouldn’t move fast enough and she sprinted to the neat, brick house.
Savannah opened the kitchen door.
“Annie! Annie!” Chance cried.
He launched himself into her arms, and her vision blurred. She lifted him high in the air, twirling, and he giggled his musical laughter. Oh, to have him call her Mommy instead of Auntie.
He snuggled close, wrapping his plump arms around her neck. “Missed you.”
“I missed you, too, Chance. I think I heard something about a new back tooth?”
Chance pulled away and opened wide but stuck his finger in to show her and blocked everything from view.
She laughed and dropped a kiss on his plump cheek.
“Hello, Shell.” Savannah leaned against the counter, grinning at the reunion, her six-month pregnancy pooching. “We didn’t expect you until tomorrow.”
“I couldn’t stay away from this munchkin. Not for one more minute.” She traced her fingers across the bottom of Chance’s bare foot sending him into giggle spasms.
“Chance, go get your new tractor to show Auntie.”
Shell set him down and he vaulted toward his room as fast as his chunky legs would carry him.
“You okay?” Savannah frowned.
“I just missed him.”
“What happened? Something with Ryler?”
“I told him about Chance.”
Savannah’s brows rose. “And.”
“He walked out, disgusted that I gave Chance away.”
“He doesn’t understand.” Savannah rested one hand on her stomach and propped the other on her hip. “You know, Jake and I were talking last night. We thought being Chance’s guardians would be a short-term thing. He’s your son. Not ours. We love him and we’d miss him, but we’d never fight you for custody.”
Shell’s eyes narrowed. “You don’t want him now that you’re pregnant?”
“You know that’s not true.” Savannah’s eyes glistened.
“I’m sorry.” Shell sank into an oak chair. “I shouldn’t have said that.”
“We love Chance. We have since the day he was born, but he’s your son.”
“I know and you’ve been there for him when I haven’t.” She covered her face with both hands.
A chair scraped against the tile floor and the table wobbled as Savannah sat across from her. “It’s a very delicate balance, loving him, raising him, but always wondering if you’ll come back and reclaim him.”
And she shouldn’t have put them in that position. She shouldn’t have left Chance hanging in the balance.
“He’s getting older. Understanding more. If you’re going to reclaim him, it needs to be soon. The older he is, the harder the transition and the more confused he’ll be.”
“I need to get this job finished.” Straightening her spine, Shell pushed the hair away from her face. “I’m thinking about asking Darrell to find someone else to finish the bed-and-breakfast. I should be here with Chance. Then things can get back to normal.”
But her heart would never be normal again. Savannah reached across the table, covering Shell’s hand with her own.
Ryler climbed out of his truck and waved at Collin across the street. “Hey, neighbor.”
“Got a minute?”
“Sure.” Crickets and bullfrogs created a symphony in the cooling evening air.
Collin jogged across. “Jill and I went for a walk after evening church service tonight. She agreed to marry me.”
“Congratulations.”
“Thanks. She’s a Christian, she loves me, and she’s crazy about Brady.”
“Sounds great.”
“Except for one thing.” Collin settled on the porch step.
“What’s that?”
“She wants to quit working, legally adopt Brady, and have him live with us.”
Why couldn’t the people surrounding him raise their own kids? “And you don’t want that?”
“It’s exactly what I want.” Collin sighed. “But number one, I want to make sure it’s what Brady wants. And numbers two and three, Hayden and Laken are very attached to him. Especially Hayden. And number four, Brady is very attached to them.”
“If he lives with you, he’ll probably spend the weekends with Hayden and Laken.” Ryler shrugged. “He’ll still be close. It’s not like you’re taking him out of state or anything. How does Brady feel about it?”
Collin frowned, as if he wondered if Ryler knew about California. “I think he’ll be fine. He and Jill get along great. And a child should be with his parents.”
“I’ll have to agree. In your case, your girlfriend kept you in the dark about Brady.” Ryler couldn’t hide the bitterness in his tone. “The people who make me sick are the ones who give up their kids because it’s an inconvenience to keep them.”
Collin raised one brow. “You’re very passionate on the subject. Ever thought of adopting?”
“I think a child should have a mother and father figure and I’m not interested in providing the mother figure.”
“Alrighty then. Don’t guess you’ll want to come to my wedding.”
“Actually, I’d be glad to. Just don’t ask me to make it a double.” Ryler smiled, hoping to take the edge off his steely tone.
“We’re putting off the wedding until next year. Maybe you’ll meet the perfect woman who’ll change your mind by then.”
Actually, he’d already met her. Or he thought he had. Had he? “Don’t hold your breath. Why wait so long?”
“Beats me. I’d get hitched tomorrow.” Collin rolled his eyes. “But she wants to do the whole Valentine’s thing in Romance.”
“How cheesy can you get?” Ryler chuckled.
Collin frowned.
“Sorry.” Ryler’s grin flattened and he clapped Collin on the back. “I’ll back you up, bro.” His eyes widened. Tiny slip. Called his brother, bro. No reaction from Collin.
Ryler blew out a big breath. That was close.
Clutching the doorknob, Shell closed her eyes. Monday morning. Her first encounter with Ryler since she’d told him the truth.
Just do it. Open the door. Face him. Work with the carpenters. Get this place finished and go home. It’s in the home stretch. Five more weeks. She couldn’t bow out on Darrell with only five weeks left to completion.
The plumber was finished. The new bathrooms had walls. Now it was up to the woodworking guys.
She turned the knob.
On his hands and knees beside the back fountain, Ryler looked up then quickly averted his gaze.
Willing herself not to run, she nonchalantly strode to the back porch of the big house and scurried inside. She sidestepped workers, calling out greetings, and climbed the stairs.
The porch swing beckoned. So what if he’d bought it for her? There was no reason not to enjoy it. Vibrant scarlet, fuchsia, and purple petunias flourished in the boxes Ryler had installed on each side of the railing. Three emerald-winged hummingbirds with splashes of red across their throats flitted about from blossom to blossom. Shell sat and opened the catalog to pick paint colors and decor
for each room.
“Hey.”
She jumped.
Ryler stood in the doorway of the landing.
“Are you following me?”
“Sort of. I need to ask you something.”
“Didn’t we already figure out what to do with the flower beds and pick all the fountains?”
“It’s not about that.”
“If it’s not about this place, I don’t think we have anything to discuss.”
“I have to know.” Ryler ran a hand through his hair. “Why did you give him away?”
Chapter 6
Shell’s blood boiled and she jumped up from the swing. “I didn’t give him away, and I don’t think it’s any of your business.”
Sucking in a deep breath, Ryler shoved his hands in his pockets. “I need to know and you probably need to talk about it. Would you rather go to your apartment?”
“And have all the workers think…” She rolled her eyes. “I wanted Chance—that’s my son’s name—to have a chance.”
“Why couldn’t he have a chance with you?”
“His father was Wade Fenwick,” she snapped, as if that were a death sentence.
“So?” Ryler shrugged.
“So—” Shell laced the single word with sarcasm. “I didn’t want my son raised with the stigma of being the son of the drunk-that-killed-the-preacher’s-wife. I was the town slut’s daughter, and I’m still trying to live it down.”
“I think you’re doing a good job.”
“You do?” She snorted a derisive laugh. “Two days after we met, I was in your bed.” A rare blush warmed her face.
“But you seem different now. You dress different, you look different. More—”
“Respectable.”
“That’s it.” Ryler gently gripped her shoulders. “I don’t think anyone thinks of you as the town slut’s daughter, and I don’t think anyone thought of Wade as the preacher’s wife’s killer. Grayson officiated his funeral. I think this town, at least that church over there, knows how to forgive and forget.”
“Maybe.” Her skin tingled at his touch.
Ryler’s hands dropped to his sides. “All those weekends I wondered about, when we were together, you were with Chance. I thought you had another man on the side.”
“There was never anyone else.” There still isn’t. “My sister managed to rise above our stigma. She and her husband are raising Chance right. In church and in a stable, two-parent family. He’s thriving.”
“Who are you when you visit?”
“Annie.” Her laugh sounded more like a sob. “That’s how he pronounces Auntie. I moved to Conway to be close to him and got used to seeing him almost daily. This place, being separated from him, it’s killing me.”
“What do you say we go to church this week?”
Her gaze met his. “Why?”
“To find out, once and for all, about this Jesus business.” He splayed his hands palms up. “Now don’t look at me like I’ve lost my mind. Just think about it. He seems to give people comfort. And it seems you could use some. To be honest, so could I. What do you say?”
Comfort. Could something unseen give her comfort? She’d tried everything else with no results. “I’ll think about it.”
He gave her shoulder a gentle squeeze and footsteps echoed across the balcony. The door opened and closed.
It took every ounce of willpower she had not to scurry after him.
Shell tugged at the dress. Even with the camisole underneath, it wasn’t right. Like a second skin and way too short. With a sigh, she wriggled out of it and pulled out her new black dress. People wore black other than to funerals. But her stomach twisted. Wade’s coffin, closed with him inside. Where will you spend eternity?
With a shiver, she stared at the few dresses she owned. Nothing appropriate. Oh well, she had a good excuse not to go. Except that she’d told Ryler she would.
Shoving hangers aside, she searched for something that wasn’t there. A white skirt caught her attention. She must have grabbed one of Savannah’s by mistake when she packed.
She pulled it out and held it up. The cottony, gathered softness would fall mid-calf.
On the hanger next to it, hung an identical skirt in black.
Savannah. Both skirts and a slip had wound up in her suitcase after their discussion of the funeral and how she’d bought a new dress she’d probably never wear again.
Perfect. They were the same size. Shell grabbed the white skirt. Her peach top with a plunging neckline turned respectable with the white camisole underneath. She spun in front of the mirror liking the way the gauzy skirt whirled around her calves.
The doorbell rang. She smoothed her hands over her hair, slipped on high-heel white sandals, and scurried to answer.
“You’re going?” Surprise echoed in Ryler’s tone.
He looked good in his turquoise polo and black jeans. Stop looking.
“I said I would. Just let me grab some jewelry.” She hurried to the bedroom. Silver necklace and earrings set off the airy, summery outfit.
Thanks, Savannah. Nice save.
With one more appraisal in the mirror, she hurried back to the living room.
Ryler checked his watch. “We better go, especially if we’re walking.”
It felt nice being on his arm as they stepped out. The hot sun blazed down on them. Thank goodness her hair was straight. The slight wave she managed to hot roll into it wouldn’t last long, but at least it never frizzed.
The charcoal gray Chevy Equinox sat in the drive, next to her car.
“Is that your SUV?”
“Did you think I drove my banged-up work truck all the time?”
“It’s all I’ve ever seen, except for that first day here.” She shrugged.
“I always kept the SUV in the garage. I never took you anywhere in it, did I?”
“We usually stayed in.” With one thing on their minds. She cleared her throat. “It’s hotter than I realized. Maybe we should have driven. I bet the air-conditioning works great in that nice rig.”
“We’re almost there now. You look really nice. Like a summer breeze.”
“Thanks. My sister loaned me this skirt, but I think I’ll keep it.” Especially since he liked it.
Ryler tried not to think about how good Shell looked as they stepped inside the church. Maybe he’d take her out for lunch after the service.
He’d never even taken her out to dinner. For three months, she’d spent almost every night with him, but he’d never taken her on a date. No wonder she hadn’t loved him. She’d probably felt used. But then she’d used him, too. Could they start over? Could he show her she was more to him than a bed partner?
One excited church member after another greeted them.
With each kind greeting, his insides quaked even more. He wasn’t like these people. He might have been if he’d never left home. His parents had been consistent church members. But after they died, he certainly hadn’t stayed on the straight and narrow path. He’d never officially been on it.
Finally, the music started and the rush of people headed toward their pews. The harpist trilled her strings. He’d seen the harp during the funeral but assumed it was only for looks. He’d never figured harps existed in a real church. Weren’t they just for heaven?
“Ryler, Shell, come sit with us.” Sylvie motioned toward Laken, Hayden, Collin, and Brady.
Third pew from the front. Ryler cleared his throat. Shell seemed happy with the offer and took the seat beside Sylvie. He settled on the other side of Shell. If only she knew they were sitting with his family.
He ignored Sylvie and concentrated on Shell. Not hard. Every time one of them moved, her shoulder grazed his.
The worst that could happen, he’d wasted a perfectly good opportunity to sleep in. But sitting beside Shell might be worth it. Her maddening perfume, sparkling eyes, and curtain of blond hair filled his thoughts.
As a congregational hymn began, Shell grabbed a book out of the rack in f
ront of them and sang along. Her soft soprano melted him further. Amazing Grace.
A rush of memories crashed around him—sitting between his parents, singing hymns, the sermons, Sunday school class. His dad explaining salvation to him. Feeling loved. By his parents and by Someone bigger. He’d been on the verge of giving in to that love when they’d told him the truth. But then he’d turned his back. And after they died, he’d turned his back on God, too.
When the second verse began, Shell turned the page, then with a frown, flipped back to the original.
Pointing to the next verse below the first, he showed her the right place. She started singing again.
The song ended and Pastor Grayson stepped to the pulpit and opened his Bible. “Turn with me to John 10:10.”
Pages flipped and rustled as Ryler’s heart raced.
“ ‘The thief cometh not, but for to steal, and to kill, and to destroy: I am come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly.’ ”
The pastor said a prayer and then continued. “I don’t know why bad things happen in this world. I don’t know why kids are neglected, abused, abandoned, or orphaned. I don’t know why families have a falling-out and never see one another again. I don’t know why some folks live to a ripe old age and some folks get cut short.”
Ryler swallowed.
“I don’t know why tragedies and disasters happen. I don’t have the answers. But what I do know is that no matter what happens in this world, God can get you through it. I’m living proof. Four years ago, I was at my lowest.”
The message sank into Ryler’s soul. Everyone had problems, traumas, and issues. Shell, the pastor, Collin. Even his parents had struggled with three miscarriages. While he and Shell dwelled on pain and the past, Grayson and Collin had moved forward. They didn’t dwell on the bad stuff. His parents hadn’t either.
“My first wife died with me sitting right beside her.” Pastor Sterling paced behind the pulpit. “Helpless. I was eaten up with grief, but I had a son to raise. God gave me the strength and, when I was ready, He brought Adrea into my life. What a blessing she’s been to Dayne and me. And now we have a new little girl to cherish.
ARKANSAS WEDDINGS: THREE-IN-ONE COLLECTION Page 42
