Ryler’s hands dropped to his sides.
She spotted her boss below the balcony. “I’ll be right there.”
“Sorry to interrupt, Ryler, but I need my right-hand gal down here.”
“Maybe I was wrong about you.” Ryler shook his head. “Maybe you are like your mother. Maybe you’re shirking your responsibility. Maybe you’re not raising your son so you can be free. Free to collect hearts you’re unwilling to commit to.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“From the moment I’ve known you, there’s been only one constant in your life.”
She shrugged, waiting for him to clue her in.
“Darrell. I saw him up here with you and whenever he beckons, you run to his side.”
“I’m supposed to be working tonight.” Shell bristled. “And Darrell is one of the finest men I’ve ever known.”
“Oh yeah, then why is he cheating on his wife with you?” He turned away. “You don’t care about anyone but yourself. At least my mother was forced to give me up.”
Ryler stalked through the door.
On jelly legs, Shell scurried to the porch swing. Doubled over, she covered her face with both hands. Sobs shook her shoulders.
Ryler stormed down the stairs and pushed through the crowd.
He’d seen Darrell up there with her, his arm around her. How could he have been so stupid? Obviously, it had been Darrell all along. Shell didn’t want a commitment and Darrell couldn’t commit. They were perfect for each other.
Shell was a Christian now, but she didn’t have a clue about right and wrong. Maybe she was one of those Grayson spoke about. Maybe she thought the rules didn’t apply to her. Maybe she’d just been playing him and hadn’t accepted Christ at all.
“Ryler,” Pastor Grayson called. “This is Doreen Hughes. She was just asking me who did the landscaping.”
His gaze rested on the multitude of roses in the garden surrounding the Romance waterfall replica, but the beauty failed to soothe the turmoil roiling within him.
“I’m sorry, I’m not feeling well.” Ignoring the older woman, he headed for his SUV, jumped in, and started the engine. The car next to him had parked crooked. With a heavy sigh, he eased back and forth several times before he could safely get out of the slot. Finally free, he stomped the gas and roared down the long drive, spinning gravel as he careened onto the highway.
Chapter 10
Shell toured the house one last time. Her eyes, still puffy from last night’s sobs, felt as heavy as her heart. A small reservation desk had been situated in part of the entry. The wood floors and plank walls gleamed.
Opening the door to the restroom behind the desk, she scanned the flawless tile surrounding the antique commode and pedestal sink. The downstairs bedroom was all done in sage and cream with shimmery, satin curtains. Plenty of closet space left beside the new bathroom.
Cutting through the entry, she stepped into the living room and ran her hand over the wall. Smooth as glass. The antique camelback couch, wingback chairs, and a gold chaise lounge facing the ancient fireplace, with the soot marks gone.
Thick tapestry curtains in gold, sage, and red paisley graced each window in the room. The wainscot in the kitchen and dining room was a pristine white. Billowy, lacy white curtains provided the bay window a bit of privacy, but still let plenty of light in. New antique-look fixtures gave the kitchen a cozy feel.
The narrow staircase up to the former servants’ quarters hadn’t been widened, but the steps had been, making the climb a bit easier. Both rooms done in gold and red had a rich, royal feel to them. The new bathroom was nice and roomy, still leaving plenty of closet.
She descended the stairs and retraced her path to the main staircase. The paneling in the upstairs landing had been removed and the nail holes painstakingly filled. The stairway up to the attic had been widened. This bedroom was her favorite. All done in cream and gold with velvet curtains, tasseled tiebacks, and molded valances. The iron bed frame was burnished umber with streaks of gold in the metal.
The bedroom on the left of the landing was red and cream with moiré curtains and swag valances. The bedroom on the right used the same fabrics in terra cotta and cream. Each bathroom continued the soothing color combination of each distinct room decor.
Perfect. Though modern, the entire place looked as if she’d stepped back in time. She descended the stairs and stepped outside. Closing the door with a final thud, she turned the knob to make sure it locked.
Head held high, she strode to her car and started the engine. The waterfall painting tugged at her, but it held too many memories of Ryler. Better to leave it. Pulling out of the drive, she turned toward Conway for the final time.
Home to Chance. Away from Ryler. Tears rimmed her lashes as the miles multiplied behind her.
Chance played at Shell’s feet, surrounded by sturdy, plastic trucks, cars, and tractors. “Vroom, vroom.” His chunky little fingers launched a hot rod sailing across the floor and into her foot. He giggled and did it again.
She should be happy. This is where she’d wanted to be for months. With Chance.
But at the price of Ryler.
How could he think such things of her? Her eyes stung and she blinked several times. She’d gotten saved when he had. And even before that, she’d done lots of things she wasn’t proud of, but she’d never had anything to do with married men.
And the thing that bothered her most was what he’d said about Chance. Was she shirking her responsibility?
No, everything she’d done was for Chance’s sake. On his hands and knees, he crawled in a rapid circle, vrooming his little car as fast as he could. Happy and healthy.
She’d done the right thing in giving him up. Hadn’t she?
Tempted to stay home, Ryler had forced himself to get ready and drive to church instead. He was getting baptized today. He should be filled with joy.
Stepping inside the sanctuary, he scanned the crowd. No Shell. He really hadn’t expected her. But she was supposed to have gotten baptized, too. He swallowed the bitter disappointment rising in his throat.
The older woman from last night’s party entered from the side door.
Concentrate on work. It was all he had. That and a new family. But work was familiar. He could lose himself in work.
He hurried to speak with the woman. “Ma’am?”
“Yes.” She turned to face him.
“I’m sorry I couldn’t speak with you last night.” He offered his hand. “I’m Ryler Grant.”
“I hope you’re feeling better.” The older woman smiled. “Do you have a card? I’m a friend of your mother’s and I’d like to have some work done on my grounds.”
Ryler dug in his pocket. “Sure. Give me a call.”
“Thank you, I will.” Mrs. Hughes stashed the card in her purse and moved on.
Pastor Grayson caught up with him. “You all ready to get baptized?”
“I am.”
“Is Shell okay?”
His jaw clenched. “I have no clue.”
“She called and said she wouldn’t be getting baptized today.”
Ryler closed his eyes. “I thought she might back out.”
“How are things? Between you, I mean?”
“She’s moving back to Conway.”
“I thought y’all were working toward something permanent.”
“I wanted to.” Ryler’s heart did a little jolt. “But obviously, she didn’t. I think her old lifestyle’s still got a grip on her.”
“Just give her time. Some folks can’t wait to start fresh when they get saved.” Pastor Grayson clapped him on the back. “Some it takes a while. She’ll be fine, as long as she stays in church.”
Except that she’d already turned away and embraced a married man.
The harpist trilled a hymn, a hint that the morning devotion would begin soon.
A hand slid into his elbow and Sylvie’s pricey perfume announced her presence. “There you are, dear.”
“Yes.”
“I’m proud of you.” Martin’s watery eyes closed for a moment.
Ryler swallowed. “Right back at ya.”
Linking her free arm with Martin’s, Sylvie led them to the Kroft pew.
Shell jiggled her feet under the table as the Sunday school class began. The first she’d ever attended as an adult. Her mind strayed to Ryler. He was getting baptized today. And she was supposed to have joined him. But she wasn’t worthy. Everywhere she turned, her past rose up to remind her of exactly who she was.
“Then Peter opened his mouth, and said, ‘Of a truth I perceive that God is no respecter of persons.’ ” The women’s teacher, a middle-aged woman with gray-streaked hair, looked up from her Bible. “We live in the age of grace. God’s marvelous grace. He is no respecter of persons.
“That means if the murderer accepts Christ, he is no worse than the saved soul who told a little white lie. The redeemed adulterer is no worse than the Christian homeless man who stole a loaf of bread to feed his family. The woman with the alabaster jar, Mary Magdalene, and the woman at the well all had bad reputations, but Jesus accepted them all.”
A lump lodged in Shell’s throat. She wanted to ask who the women were, but she was probably the only one in the class who didn’t know. Oh, if only she knew the Bible like everyone else seemed to. Even Ryler.
Ryler.
“Turn to John 8:1–11.” Pages rustled together as class members flipped to the right chapter. At least Shell could find John in the Bible Savannah had bought her.
She followed the verses as the teacher read about the woman caught in adultery. “And Jesus said unto her, ‘Neither do I condemn thee: go, and sin no more.’ ”
Jesus’ words sank into Shell’s soul.
The teacher continued. “If you accept Jesus Christ as your Savior, you are worthy. He counts you worthy. He forgives you and He can no longer see your sin. So, why do we keep looking back and holding on to it? The truth will set you free. Grab on to His truth, give Him your sins, and stop taking them back. Live the redeemed life He wants you to live.”
I will. Starting now.
Shell bowed her head and silently prayed. Thank You, Lord, for saving my soul. Forgive me for not believing You could make me new. Forgive me for all the things I’ve done and help me to forgive myself.
Thank You for this child You’ve given me, Lord. Give me courage to do what’s right by him. And thank You for placing Ryler in my life this second time. Please don’t let it be too late for us. Help us to build a relationship with You in the center and help us to glorify You.
Shell slowed the rocking chair as Chance grew heavier against her shoulder. The taupe walls, safari animal border, and curtains soothed her frayed nerves.
Humming “Amazing Grace” she inhaled his scent of baby shampoo. At eighteen months, he was getting too big to rock. Already, his legs were long enough she had to prop his feet up in each side of the chair to make sure they didn’t get squished.
She hated to put him down, but she needed to speak to Savannah and Jake without Chance overhearing. He didn’t stir as she gently laid him in his toddler bed.
Jake relaxed in his recliner with the sports section, while Savannah curled on the couch with her hand on the bulge of her stomach, reading an inspirational novel.
“Hey, y’all.”
“Chance asleep?” Savannah put her book down.
She hugged herself. “I’ve been thinking.”
Jake lowered the newspaper, his brows drawn together. “You want him back?”
Shell paced the room. “Darrell always planned for me to manage the B&B. I’m moving to Rose Bud and I’d like to take Chance with me, on frequent visits. There’s a really good day care, right next door.” Her words tumbled out. “And most of the time, he could probably hang out with me.” Darrell would probably let her keep some toys for him and a crib there.
“So you want him back?” Savannah’s chin trembled.
“I don’t want to just jerk him away from the people he’s known as Mommy and Daddy.” Her words tumbled out. “I want to take it slow. Over the next few weeks, I’d like us to explain who his real mommy is.” We’ll talk about Daddy when he’s old enough to understand. “If these frequent trips work out and he adjusts well, then I’d like him to live with me.”
“All fine and good, but do you have to move to Rose Bud?” Jake wadded the paper and stashed it by his chair, lowering his feet to the floor.
“I guess this has something to do with Ryler?” Savannah sat upright and patted the seat beside her.
Shell’s stomach knotted. She sank to the couch. “I’m hoping it does. He wants to marry me and I said no because—well, it’s a long story.”
“Savannah and I have always expected you to reclaim Chance.” Jake’s voice cracked. “We’ve loved him and raised him, knowing we might lose him.”
“I’m sorry.” Her gaze dropped to the floor. They’d been so good to her and in return, she’d broken their hearts. A weight settled on her shoulders, and she couldn’t bring herself to look at Savannah sniffling beside her.
“Don’t be. He should be with you. We’ve both always agreed on that, but we wanted to make sure you were stable and devoted to him.”
“I am now.”
“I know.” Savannah squeezed her hand. “We’re so proud of you.”
“But it will be hard on y’all if it works out.”
“Yes, but we knew that from the beginning.” Savannah patted her stomach. “This baby won’t replace Chance. We’ll always love him as if he were our own.”
“I know and I love you both for being there for him when I didn’t feel able.” Her gaze scanned the many family pictures lining the taupe walls. Pictures of Jake, Savannah, and Chance. Pictures of her, Savannah, and Chance. Pictures of just her with Chance. They’d painstakingly included her in the family unit.
“Who is this Ryler?” Jake asked.
“He’s a Christian. He’s a stable, good man from a good family.”
“That’s my only concern.” Jake cleared his throat. “I don’t want Chance jerked around. What if it doesn’t work out with Ryler? And the reality of raising a child sets in and you don’t feel up to the challenge?”
“Ryler’s the one who convinced me Chance should be with me. He knows I’m a package deal. He wants to marry me and raise Chance.”
But did he still want her? And if he really thought those awful things about her, did she want him?
She sucked in a deep breath, blinking away tears. “But don’t worry, Jake. With or without Ryler, I want Chance with me and he’ll be my first priority.
“Even if things don’t work out with him”—her stomach did an odd tilt—“or if the reality of an eighteen-month-old is too much for him, then Chance and I will be fine without him.” The words tasted bitter. “Either way, Chance comes first. The way he should have from the beginning.”
“He’s always come first.” Savannah squeezed her hand again. “You were convinced that us raising him was better for him. It’s not like you gave him up because you didn’t want him.”
Tears singed Shell’s eyes. “You’re right, and it was the hardest thing I’ve ever done.”
“When do you plan on leaving?” Savannah’s voice wobbled.
“Saturday morning, if it’s okay with y’all and Chance. I’ve got some things to take care of here, like moving my stuff and talking with Darrell. And I want to ease Chance into this. There’s no rush.”
Except her heart longed for Ryler. Could they get past his absurd accusations about Darrell? Could they look toward the future, together?
“We’ll try a couple of days to start with. I want him to meet a couple of people, but if he gets homesick, I’ll bring him back early. I promise. The last thing I want is for my son to be miserable.”
“Then, you have our blessing.” Jake strode over and squeez
ed between them, hugging them both.
Singsong jabber from the backseat warmed Shell’s soul. Chance was a great little traveler.
Ryler’s SUV was gone. Across the street, Collin’s car was, too. Where could Ryler be? The trash cans that usually sat by the road were gone. With the curtains pulled shut, the house looked oddly abandoned. Surely he couldn’t have cleared out in a week’s time. Lord, please don’t let him have left town.
For the next seven miles, she prayed.
Several cars were parked in the B&B lot. Business was booming.
An eighth of a mile farther, Hayden’s truck sat in the drive of his and Laken’s house, but her car was gone. All three siblings gone. Breakfast at the Krofts’.
Shell concentrated on the mailbox numbers. She had to introduce Chance to someone else first.
In the front yard of a neat house, Helen worked with a hoe in a flower garden. Turning, she shielded her eyes from the sun’s glare and smiled as Shell got out. “Hello, what a nice surprise.”
“I have someone with me I’d like you to meet.” Shell ducked into the backseat and undid Chance’s safety harness. His pale green short set, with dolphins swimming around the waist, was clean and adorable. Perfect for meeting his grandmother.
He giggled as she swooped him up in the air and propped him on her hip. She strode toward Helen.
“What a cutie.” Helen tickled a bare foot.
Chance responded with a gurgly giggle.
“He had shoes on, but he loves taking them off.”
“Let’s go inside, so he can get down.” Helen led the way to the house. “Goodness me, I don’t have any toys. I don’t usually get such young, hand-some visitors.”
“I have some in my bag, but maybe we’ll keep some here in the future. I think Chance will be visiting often.”
Helen frowned as they stepped inside. Obviously questions quivered on her lips, but manners kept her from asking.
Pictures of Wade stared at Shell from every wall and surface. She shivered, wishing she could go back and undo things. Yet, if she’d never stolen Wade from Adrea, she wouldn’t have Chance. It was amazing what blessings God gave, even through horrible circumstances.
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