by Claire Adams
Chapter 37
Jake
I stood in front of the mirror, wearing a white dress shirt with my hair parted to the side. I buttoned my cuffs, then picked up my bow tie. I’d always hated the things. I would’ve worn a clip-on if I could, but for some reason, there was a stigma against them. I took out my phone and set it on the counter.
I had a video ready with an overdressed butler type explaining how to tie a bow tie. He walked me through each step individually. It should’ve been easy, but for some reason, the things were designed to be torture devices. By the time I was done tying the thing, my shirt was drenched in sweat, and I had to change.
I checked the time on my phone. It was 4:30, which meant that I had an hour and a half. I was starting to get anxious. My new guard, Rico was manning the gates. I called him. “Has anyone shown up?”
“Sir, I will alert you the minute somebody gets to the gate.”
“Thank you.” I walked back in, feeling like a complete idiot. I had to calm down. If I didn’t, my heart would explode. I sat down at the bottom of the stairs and took a breath.
When I closed my eyes, I saw Mercedes. Tendrils of her blonde hair flew out behind her, kissing the wind while we sped down the coastal highway in a red convertible. She laughed and smiled, so I turned away from the road for just a moment to taste her lips.
She’d been surprising me recently with different flavored lip gloss. There was cherry, strawberry, and watermelon. Those were boring, but I still couldn’t get enough. The flavor I loved the most was chocolate. The way the taste rubbed off on my tongue made my whole body tingle. I could practically feel it.
I was losing my mind, smelling perfume that wasn’t there, licking my lips and salivating. She was all I ever thought about. There wasn’t a single moment when I wasn’t trying to do something nice for her, or trying to prove myself to her in some way.
I worked hard. I always did, but now I worked for her. I got up in the morning because I knew I’d see her. Everything I did, I did for her, and I wasn’t sure that would ever really change. There were no fights, no drama, just that one moment of doubt, and we were back together.
My phone rang in my pocket. “Hello?” I answered.
It was Andrew. “Hey, Haylie’s freaking out because I’m leaving. You don’t mind if I take her, do you?”
“No, definitely bring her. I should’ve mentioned that before.”
“Are you sure?” he asked.
“Yes, I’m positive.”
“Alright, I’ll load her up.”
“Thank you,” I said. “Hurry.”
“I will.” He hung up.
I sighed, closed my eyes, and went back to my breathing. There was no way the breathing exercises would calm me down, but I needed something to focus on right now, something other than Mercedes.
The guard called me. “There’s a woman at the gate.”
“Who?” I jumped up.
He took forever to answer back. “It’s the mom.”
“Let her in,” I said. “And send her around back. And don’t scare me like that. Take names.”
I went back to breathing. I probably looked like a sorry mess, but I didn’t care. Mercedes was the only thing that mattered. I got up and checked out my appearance in the mirror again.
I wore two shirts and a tank top, and the sweat still somehow found a way to soak through. This meant, of course, that I was going to have to relearn to tie my bow tie. Then, I‘d have to find a way to control my perspiration, and I still hadn’t checked on everything.
I walked back into the bathroom to retie my bow tie. Then I caught myself in the mirror and saw the sweat welling up on my forehead. There was no way that I could control that. It’d just keep getting worse and worse, and I wouldn’t be able to wipe it away because it’d stain my sleeve. Then it would slide down my face and dry all over my forehead, stinging my eyes.
I slammed my eyes shut and willed myself to breathe, focusing on nothing but the in breath and the soft cloud that fell out after. I could almost see her standing in the shower behind me, cleaning herself off. When I walked out, I looked at the bed and imagined the way she looked when I woke up the morning after I told her I loved her. She couldn’t stop smiling.
I took one last look in the bathroom mirror, then looked down at the counter. The guard was calling. “Hello?”
“Sir, there’s a man at the door with a little baby.”
“What are their names, Rico?”
He sighed and took his time talking to my brother. “Haylie and Andrew.”
“Send them around back, and next time get names.”
“Yes, sir.” He hung up.
My phone started ringing again the second he did. “Hello?”
“Hey.” Her voice was as sweet as cotton candy.
“Hi.”
“So, I was thinking of maybe stopping by the store when I got off. Is there anything in particular you might like?”
“No, don’t do that,” I said, a little too quickly.
“Is something wrong? Are you busy?”
“No,” I said.
“You sound upset.”
“I’m fine. Just head over when you get off.”
“Okay, I’ll see you soon.”
I walked downstairs to see Andrew and Haylie playing in the living room. She’d taken to standing up on the furniture, and Andrew struggled to get her down without making her scream. “Haylie, come here.’’
“No.” She wrapped her arms around her chest.
“Do it.” He stepped closer, and her face clenched up. “Don’t you dare.”
She sobbed.
“No, it’s okay. It’s okay.” He rushed forward and grabbed her. She threw her head back and exploded.
I walked in, trying not to laugh. When she saw me, she stopped crying right away. “Down.” She pointed at the ground. He set her down, and she ran up to me with her arms outstretched so she could latch herself on my leg. “Uncle! Uncle!” She jumped up and down.
“Aww,” I said and ducked down to pick her up. “You are the sweetest thing.”
“She is.” Andrew came up.
“Thank you for coming.”
“I’m glad to be here, but you,” he took a step back, “you look like you’re going to have a heart attack.”
“That’s exactly how I feel, but I can’t think about that right now. I’m having fun with Haylie.” I gave her a smile, and she winked at me.
“I love you, Uncle.” She wrapped her tiny arm around my neck and rested her cheek on mine.
“She thinks you’re Santa Claus.” Andrew sat down on the couch.
“That’s because I’m nicer than Mommy and better-looking than Daddy.” I sat down on the other side of the couch, and she rested her head on my shoulder. “How is Elizabeth?” I asked.
“Once I started doing little things, like cooking and all, she quieted down. I’m not sure if it’s going to work. You know how stubborn she can be, but I’m not giving up.”
“Good, you love her. You should fight for her.”
“Thank you,” he said. “Really, I thought you’d be overjoyed when you found out.”
“No, I want you to be happy, and I know you feel the same way about me.”
“I do,” he sighed. “You don’t want to go outside?”
“No, her mother’s out there, and she’s a worrier. I don’t need any more worry right now.” My phone vibrated. “Just a second.” I handed Haylie to Andrew and walked back into the other room. “Hello?”
“Sir, there’s a black van out here.”
“What’s their name, Rico?”
I waited while he called over the radio to find out who it was. “Armando, sir.”
“Armando?”
“Yes, sir.”
“I need you to find out who is in that van and why they’re here. Then I want you to call me back, and remind me to cut your pay.” I hung up.
Andrew had set Haylie down on the couch, and she was starting to fall aslee
p. He put a finger over his lips, then got up to meet me halfway. “Are you okay?” he asked.
“I’m fine.”
“What happened?”
My phone vibrated again. “One second.” I whipped it out. “Hello?”
“Sir, it’s the dad.”
“And?”
“And what?”
“I asked you to remind me to do something. What was that?”
“Come on. Do I really have to say it?”
“Are you going to do this again?”
“No, sir.”
“Good, send him around back.” I hung up.
“I’m having trouble with my guard. He won’t tell me the names of anyone coming.”
“Hah!” Andrew slapped his knees. “You are screwed.”
“No, I’m not,” I sighed.
Chapter 38
Mercedes
Brenda was in her office talking to a young woman who came in with a swollen eye. I didn’t want to hear any of it. I didn’t like to think about that kind of thing, but I could hear her sobbing in the office. There was something unsettling about that sound. It was like listening to a precious vase break over and over again.
Brenda’s computer was completely worthless. It had a paint program, a text writer, and solitaire. I could never fully understand solitaire. Everyone thought I was a complete idiot because of it, but it was hard. I didn’t know what was going on, and they didn’t give out instructions, so I tried to distract myself by doodling.
I’d gotten quite good at it. I was halfway through a rose made of black and red blocks when the door opened, and the girl walked out. I gave her a quick, sympathetic smile before she walked out, then turned around to see Brenda standing behind me with her hands on her hips. “You got back with him.”
“What? No, dear God, no.”
“Yes, you did. I see you on the phone talking out there on break. You foolish little girl. Did you see that?” she motioned towards the door.
“Yeah, I did.”
“So? What are you doing?”
“I made a mistake.”
“Don’t give me that crap.”
“Brenda, did I tell you what happened?”
“No.” She seemed defensive.
“So, you don’t know anything about him, right?”
“Well…”
“And you’re trying to get me to make a major life decision. Why?”
“Because I saw you crying in my office, and you told me that everything I said was true. It hit home, didn’t it?”
“I wasn’t thinking straight.”
“Is that what he told you?” she asked.
“I’m doing the right thing, and I know it’s not something you can accept. You see a lot of battered women, but I’d like you to leave it alone and allow me to make this decision. And trust that it won’t affect my ability to perform my job.”
“What am I supposed to do when you start coming in looking like a bag lady again?”
“Can you wait until it happens? Please?”
She took a deep breath. “I mean, it’s not right. Deep down, you have to know that.”
“I’m not the girl you think I am, Brenda. I can smell men like that a mile away.”
“I don’t trust it, but you’re a good receptionist, and you haven’t given me any real trouble. Just don’t cry in the middle of the lobby.”
“I won’t. Thank you.” I went back to my computer, and she walked outside to have her cigarette. She was a good woman, but she’d been jaded by years of bad love and resentment. I’d been working on avoiding that ever since I found out what men had between their legs.
I could catch a drunk or a douche a mile away. None of that crap got past me. I knew who I was with, and I was secure with my relationship.
I checked the time on my phone. It was almost 5, and I was starving. Jake had been taking me out every night, and each place was better than the next, but I was tired of running around. I wanted to spend time at the house, maybe watch a movie, or have dinner out on the veranda. It was better that way, nobody to come between us or interrupt us while we were eating. We could just be together.
I decided to give him a call. “Hello?” It sounded like I caught him by surprise.
“Hey.”
“Hi.” His voice was shaking. Something was wrong.
I didn’t want to think about it. I just wanted our night together. Anything else would have to take a backseat. “I was thinking of maybe stopping by the store when I got off. Is there anything in particular you might like?”
“No, don’t do that.”
“Is something wrong? Are you busy?”
“No,” he said.
“You sound upset.” My hands trembled.
“I’m fine. Just head over when you get off.”
“Okay, I’ll see you soon.” I hung up and set the phone down, hoping to keep Brenda from seeing, but she was already through with her cigarette and walking inside.
“See, they can flip in a moment, and you’ll never know what they’re going to do.”
“I’m not having this conversation.” I turned back to my rose painting and began adding a green stem at the base.
Brenda leaned over the desk. “Something happened. I can tell. You’re already starting to spiral.”
“I know when to run and when to stay. I’ve never had a problem before.”
“Fine.” She walked into her office and slammed the door.
I knew that if I started doubting Jake, then I’d just end up working myself into another frenzy. I couldn’t allow that. I almost left him the last time. I broke his heart twice. Now I was jumping to all sorts of conclusions—drugs, hit men, Becky.
Something was happening. Jake wasn’t easily scared. So far as I knew, I’d never seen him afraid at all. In fact, he’d done some pretty ballsy things. If he was worried, then I should’ve been petrified, and I was. Whatever was happening involved me. Otherwise, he wouldn’t have told me to come. He would’ve kept me as far away as he could.
Instead, he was lying, acting like everything was fine and trying to lure me into his home. Why? I knew he’d never give me an explanation. When he got something in his head, he didn’t give up on it. I wasn’t even sure I wanted to go there unless I knew what was happening. He sounded so upset. This wasn’t right.
Brenda went back and forth between her office and her pile of cigarette butts outside. Every time she came in, she gave me a knowing smile, and every time she did, I felt my carefully composed confidence wearing away.
I loved him, and he loved me. That was all I knew. It had to be enough. It kept me there, and drove me into his arms. It washed away my doubt and grief and put me in that place where we could just be together. I needed to be in that place now. It was the only place I felt truly comfortable.
I decided that I would drive straight there after work. If something was wrong with him, I needed to know what it was. If it was bad, and I couldn’t handle it, I’d walk away. If it was bad, and I could handle it, I would stay by his side.
I finished my rose and checked the time. I could already hear Brenda moving around in her office. It was time for me to go. This was starting to get ridiculous. I knew I’d never get a second’s peace unless I knew what was happening, and I didn’t want to just go down there without knowing what I was walking into.
When Brenda showed me out and locked up, I walked outside and pulled out my phone. I felt drained, like I was coming down from a sugar high, and that ache behind my eyes was getting worse. What if this was it? What if something happened, and I had to walk away?
I dialed his number and listened as the phone rang and rang. Then it went to voicemail. I kept the phone to my ear and listened for a moment. I was shocked. He’d never gone without answering my calls before, even when he wasn’t working.
I decided to text him. “Jake, what’s going on?”
I leaned against the front wall while I waited for him to respond, but as the minutes passed by with no response, I star
ted to think that he wasn’t going to answer me at all. That didn’t make any sense.
I tried calling him again while I walked back to my car, but he didn’t answer. He didn’t answer the next call either. I peeled out of the lot and onto the freeway. The drive was slow. Traffic was terrible, and I was tense. I kept checking my phone to make sure he wasn’t texting me or trying to call.
This wasn’t okay. Something was wrong. I could feel it. He could be in trouble or sick. Maybe Tony was there with a gun to his head, trying to find out where I was. I didn’t know, and the uncertainty was enough to drive me over the edge.
Once I finally got off the freeway, I gunned it, driving through lights and into the back streets. I had to get there as fast as possible, just to make sure that he was okay. But I still didn’t feel safe. Whatever this was, it was big.
When I pulled up to the gate, the guard walked out of his hut. I rested my hand on the stick. He was younger and bald, with tattoos running down his neck and a teardrop under his eye. He didn’t seem to belong there. He looked me up and down, then walked back into his hut to pull out his phone.
I couldn’t hear what he was saying, but I could see him through the front window. His lip was curled up, and he yelled. He slammed his fist down on the table behind the window, hung up the phone, then ran out of the booth. “Who are you?” he demanded.
I faltered and looked him over. I didn’t want to tell him my name at all.
“Look, lady, if you don’t tell me your name, you’re going to have to leave.”
“If you don’t know who I am, you don’t belong here.” I pressed on the brake and put the car in reverse.
He moved closer, his hand resting over his gun. “You need to leave.”
“You need to call Jake right now and tell him that you’re refusing me entry.”
“I need your name.” He stepped closer, close enough for me to catch the scent of his joint.
“Mercedes.” I met his eye. “And you just lost your job.”
It didn’t seem like he cared at all. He just walked back to the guard booth and gave me the finger when I drove past. That scared me more than anything else. Jake wouldn’t let a man like that work for him. He would’ve run him off the property a long time ago.
