by Claire Adams
"You're such a good girl." I smiled as I knelt down and put my arms around her neck. The next thing I knew, tears were streaming down my face onto the dog's fur. Tesla sat quietly for a moment, then pulled her head back and began licking my face.
"Alex, what's wrong?" Cam asked. There was deep concern in his voice as he reached for my arm and pulled me back up to him. "Are you okay?"
"I'm worried about Liz," I said, wiping the tears from my eyes before I looked up at him. "I think she's in real trouble, Cam. She's in denial about her problem and she won't accept help, and now she's run off and I can't find her!"
"Hey, hey, we'll find her," Cam said as he cupped my cheek with his strong hand. "I promise. We'll look and we'll alert everyone we can think of, and eventually we'll find her."
"What if we don't find her in time?" I asked quietly. The reality was that if Liz was using, she was likely to overdose at some point, and if I didn't know where she was, then I couldn't bring her back. "What if I can't save my best friend?"
Cam held me tightly, resting his chin on my head as he stroked my back. I cried harder than I could ever remember having cried, but it felt good to have him to lean on as I let out all the emotions from the past week. I told him what was going on with the cheating accusations and my fear of not graduating.
"And what if we find her and they kick her out of the nursing program?" I said, and then more quietly, "And what if they kick me out, too?"
"They're not going to kick you out, Alex," Cam said confidently.
"If they conclude that we cheated, they will," I said, shaking my head. "And if they don't make their decision soon, it won't matter. I'll be out anyway, and I won't have a place to live!"
"Yes, you will, don't you worry about that at all," Cam said as he squeezed me tighter. "You won't get dropped from the program and you won't get evicted from your apartment."
"It's nice that you're so sure about all of this," I said as I tried to focus on the task at hand. We needed to get out and look for Liz. With every hour that passed, we were losing the trail from the hospital. "We need to find her, Cam. We need to find Liz."
"I've put in some calls to people I know in the fire department and asked them to contact their people in the police department," he said as he looked at his phone and frowned. "I need to return a call."
I nodded as I moved to the kitchen and started a pot of coffee. It was going to be a long day for us both, and we were going to need to keep the caffeine flowing. I could hear the murmur of Cam's voice as he talked to whomever it was he called. He sounded irritated, and then suddenly I heard him shouting.
"I'm not going to be that bastard's lap dog, Leo! Do you understand me?" he shouted into the phone. "I'll be there for the announcement, but I'm not going to go on parade for him every time he has an event!"
Tesla came padding into the kitchen, looked around, and then sat nicely looking up at me. I figured she probably needed water, so I filled a bowl and put it on a nice placemat on the floor for her. She quickly lapped it up and then lay down with her chin on her paws.
"All right, all done," Cam said as he came into the kitchen and squatted down next to his dog.
"Everything okay?" I asked.
"Yeah, fine," he said, looking at Tesla as he scratched behind her ears. "Just some business I needed to take care of."
"Is this the security firm?" I asked. Cam didn't look up, he just nodded. "You have to be there for the announcement tomorrow, don't you?"
"Indeed, I do." He sighed. "I don't want to do this bullshit, but it's part of the contract, and if I don't do it, we don't sign. Metzler is a real bastard."
"Like father, like daughter," I said with a wry grin as I pulled out two coffee mugs and filled them with the steaming liquid. I handed one to Cam and took the other into the dining room where I looked at the map I'd constructed of all the places I knew Liz might hang out. I'd checked both of our classrooms before I came home and found them empty except for the cleaning crew that was scrubbing the graffiti off of the desks.
"Where do you think she might go next?" Cam asked. "Does she have a place that makes her feel safe and secure? Better yet, do you know any of the people she might be buying drugs from?"
"Don't you think I'd have gone there first, if I did?" I asked in an irritated voice. "I want to go back to her apartment and see if she left any clues there."
"Shouldn't we call in the police to do that?" Cam asked as he sipped his coffee. "I mean, what if it ends up being a crime scene and we disturb evidence?"
"Seriously, dude, we need to find Liz," I said in an exasperated voice. "We don't have time to sit around and wait for the police to file a report and then send someone down to go through Liz's apartment. That could take days, and what if something happens to her in the meantime?"
"Good point, but I still don't know if her apartment is a good place for us to be," he said.
"Fine, then we'll go and check it out to make sure she hasn't come home, and we won't touch anything." I sighed. "Happy now?"
"Very," he nodded solemnly.
"You're exasperating; you know that, don't you?" I said.
"So I've been told." He grinned as I lightly punched his shoulder and motioned for him to follow me. He grabbed my arm and pulled me around to face him. He had a very serious look on his face as he said, "Alex, wait. I know this isn't the time or the place, but after last night, I know you're trying to make a decision about me. I know you don't like the fact that I have a lot of baggage, but I promise you that if you give me a shot, I'll be good to you."
"Where is this coming from?" I asked, eyeing him suspiciously. "Do you know something that you're not telling me?"
"What? No!" he said, letting go of my arm. "I'm just saying that we were in the middle of a serious discussion last night when we were interrupted, and I didn't get to say what I was feeling at the time. I just wanted to add it in the mix so that you know."
"Duly noted." I nodded. "And for the record, I don't object to your baggage at all. We all have it. What I object to is all the money. I'm not sure I can handle the adjustments that would be required to live in your world. I just don't know."
"What adjustments?" he shot back defensively. "There are no adjustments for you to make! You like me, I like you, and we want to try and figure out how to make this work. That seems to be the only adjustment needing to be made."
"No, it's really not," I said, shaking my head. "There are all kinds of issues associated with you and your money, and now that you're signing this contract to be one of Metzler's guys...it's just all really complicated, and I need time to think it over."
"I'm not one of Richard Metzler's goddamn lap dogs!" Cam shouted, causing Tesla to come running into the dining room barking. Cam looked down at her and said, “Quiet, girl."
"I didn't say you were a lap dog," I replied calmly. "I said that there are compromises that will have to be made in order to live the kind of life you live. I just don't know if I'm willing to make them or not, and I don't want to go too far down this road if I'm not going to make them. I'm trying to protect you, too."
"I don't need protecting!" Cam shouted. "Stop trying to protect me! I'm fine the way I am, I've got everything under control!"
"Obviously," I said sarcastically. "Okay, fine. You don't need protection, but I need to decide for myself what I'm willing to do."
"You're just scared," he shot back. "Well, I've got news for you, sunshine, we're all scared."
"Don't get snippy with me, Cam," I said, narrowing my eyes and crossing my arms over my chest. "I'm just trying to make a good decision for myself. I've got a lot going on and I don't want to screw it all up by falling for a guy who..."
"Who what?" he asked. "Who isn't going to be there when things get tough? I'm here, aren't I?"
"No, I just..." I began and then looked away.
"What is it, Alex?" he asked as he pulled me close and tipped my chin up so I had to look at him. "What is stopping you from letting go and seeing where
we wind up? What are you running from?"
I looked into his smoldering green eyes and knew exactly what it was that I was afraid of. Cam Connor was a magnetic force, and I knew that once I was pulled into his orbit, it would be impossible for me to get out of it.
"I'm...I...I..." I stammered as I held his gaze and felt my body responding to his touch.
"Tell me, Alex," he whispered as he leaned down, holding his lips only millimeters from my own. "Tell me why you're holding back."
"Cam..." I moaned softly knowing that the sound of my voice was going to push him over the edge and that he'd take me with him.
Cam's lips crushed mine as he kissed me hard and yanked me against his body. For a moment, I thought about fighting the attraction, and then I gave up and gave in. There was no use in fighting it. We were drawn to each other and the only way to stop it would be to leave and never look back, and I wasn't prepared to do that.
His hands roamed my body as he pushed my shirt and then my bra up over my breasts. I could feel him breathing hard as he kissed me more deeply and his hands cupped my breasts as he squeezed my nipples into erect points. I moaned louder as he quickly pushed my pants down over my hips. My panties quickly followed and he lifted me up off the floor and set me on the table, spreading my legs as he unzipped his jeans and slid them down over his hips.
Seconds later, he had rolled a condom over his engorged shaft, and I felt him pushing inside me as I spread my legs wider, pulling him deeper into me. He groaned as he sank all the way into me, and I felt the need rise in a way that I'd never felt with anyone before. I wanted Cam. No, I needed him. And he knew this.
He pulled back as he began the steady familiar rhythm I'd already come to want. I broke away from the kiss and put my hands flat on the table behind me so that I could meet his thrusts with an equal force. Soon, we were slamming against one another as we drove each other closer and closer to the edge. Cam's eyes never left mine as our rhythm pounded out our need for each other. I could feel him swelling inside me, and when he reached down and slipped his thumb between my lips so that he could stroke me to orgasm, I moaned loudly and let go.
The force of the climax hit me hard and fast as I pushed myself forward and clung to him. Cam wrapped his arms around me and thrust harder and faster and soon he reached the edge, too. He groaned as he came, and I looked up to see him looking down at me as the wave of pleasure washed over him.
"Oh, God, Alex," he groaned as he held tightly to me, his hips still thrusting as he rode the orgasm. He kissed me, softer this time, as he ran his fingers through my hair and held my head in his strong hands. He breathed into my lips, "What you do to me, woman."
"Cam...I...oh God," I whispered as I kissed him again. I could feel my desire beginning to build again, but I knew that if we didn't stop now, we'd never get out and look for Liz. "We have to stop."
"I know, I know," he groaned as he pulled back and stepped away. The room felt colder without him holding me and I wanted to beg him to come back, but I didn't. He walked to the bathroom, shut the door, and a few minutes later emerged with his pants pulled up and his shirt tucked in.
I, however, was still sitting where he'd left me; half naked on the dining table wanting him.
"You'd better get dressed." He grinned. "I can't be held responsible for what I do if you don't."
"Nice, Connor." I laughed as I hopped down off the table and almost stepped on Tesla. "Your dog is incredibly well behaved."
"She knows when I've got something good," he said pointedly. "Go get ready, Alex. We need to find Liz."
I nodded and headed to the bathroom to wash up and then to my bedroom for fresh clothes. By the time I returned to the dining table, Cam had mapped out a search area for us to cover beginning with Liz's apartment.
Chapter Thirty-One
Cam
We spent several hours scouring the places I'd marked on the map with no luck. Alex looked worn out by the time we'd checked the known dealer spots, and I suggested that we head back to her place so she could get some sleep.
"Sleep, really?" she said with a wry grin. "C'mon, Connor, you can do better than that!"
"I'm not coming on to you." I laughed as I reached back and patted Tesla, who'd been quiet and patient the entire time we'd been out searching. At a couple of the places, we'd taken a t-shirt that Liz had left at Alex's apartment and let Tesla smell it. She'd looked at us like we were crazy before heading off to sniff at things that were far more interesting to her. "I need to take Tesla for a run, and I've got to prep for the press conference when Metzler announces his run for office."
"Ah, yes, I see." She nodded as I pulled up in front of her apartment building and let the truck idle. "I don't know what to do about Liz. I don't know how to find her. I have no idea where she is or if she even wants to be found."
"Give her time," I said as I reached out and ran my fingers through Alex's hair. It was tangled from the wind that had blown as we searched stretches of the river where the homeless and drug addicts tended to gather. I wanted to say something comforting, but I had nothing. I knew chances were good that Liz was somewhere completely hidden, and that every hour that passed made it less likely that we'd find her. "Maybe she's dealing with something we can't understand and just needs space to figure it out."
"Or maybe she's in a drug-induced haze and has no clue where she's at," Alex said quietly. "She needs me and I can't get to her."
"It'll be okay, Alex," I said, caressing her cheek. "One way or another, it'll be okay."
She nodded and then pushed the door open and got out. I wanted so much to park the truck and follow her upstairs, but I knew that if I did that, I was going to be late for my meeting with Leo and possibly screw the entire CSC deal. After all that I hadn't done to help Leo, this time I was going to make sure that I was where I was supposed to be when I was supposed to be there.
"Thank you, Cam," Alex said, then she closed the door and turned and walked up the stairs.
"You're welcome, Alex," I said as I watched the door close behind her.
Had I known then what I knew later, I would have never let her go home alone.
Chapter Thirty-Two
Alex
After Cam dropped me off, I went upstairs and ran a hot bath while I brewed a pot of tea. Not being able to find Liz was on the top of my list of worries, but I still had an exam to study for and a decision to make about Cam. I didn't like the fact that he had more money that I'd ever imagined. It made me nervous, but I couldn't identify why I was so viscerally opposed to it.
There was no question that he and I had chemistry and that I looked forward to every opportunity we had to act on it, but I wasn't sure it was enough to justify continuing the relationship. However, it was strong enough to keep us going for now.
I sunk down into the tub full of bubbles and tried to logically think my way out of my opposition. Cam was a good man. He worked hard and he was loyal to his friends, and he'd never tried to show off or lord his money over me in a way that made me feel like I owed him something. In fact, when I thought about it, he'd done the exact opposite. He'd downplayed his wealth and passed things off to luck or the kindness of his friends, like the reservation at Grace.
Cam was a modest man who happened to have a lot of money. He wasn't a rich jerk who was looking to acquire me as a possession, and when I dug down deep, I could only come up with the fact that I had something against all that money, not that he'd ever done anything to make me feel uncomfortable. In fact, everything he'd done had been to make me feel comfortable, and I felt vaguely embarrassed that I was making such a big deal out of something he had obviously learned how to manage.
"Get over yourself, Pierce," I said as I scrubbed my skin with a loofah. "It's not about you."
I thought about what Liz would say and how she would laugh it all off with a wink and a smile, and the tears started flowing. I had no idea where she was or if she was all right, and even worse, I had no way of helping her if she was in trouble.
I pulled the plug and let the water drain from the tub before standing up and grabbing a thick towel from the rack. I had to figure out where Liz was and I had to get her help, but first I needed to talk with my landlord about an extension on my rent and then take the exam that Professor Jackson had scheduled for the next day.
After I pulled on a sweatshirt and pants, I went to the kitchen to pour the tea. It was going to be a long night of reviewing anatomy. I took a steaming mug to the table and opened my books. For a moment, my mind drifted off to the place where Cam and I had made very different use of the table earlier in the day and I was tempted to call him.
"Knock it off, Pierce," I scolded myself as I shook my head to clear it. "You don't have the luxury of acting like a lovesick school girl."
I looked down at my books and thought, "Come hell or high water, I am going to pass my exams and get my nursing license."
Not even the devastatingly handsome Cam Connor was going to distract me from my goal.
#
I studied into the wee hours of the morning and then took a quick nap before getting up and getting ready for class. I wanted to stop by the landlord's office to ask him about an extension before I headed to class, so I took extra care to make sure I looked like a responsible tenant who would, in fact, pay the rent. We'd had a few minor differences during the time I'd lived in the apartment, but nothing that would prevent him from giving me a chance to get the financial aid issues straightened out so I could pay him.
"You can do this, Pierce," I said looking at myself in the mirror, as I got ready to leave. "Smile and be polite, and he won't be able to say no."
I'd pulled my hair into a low ponytail and dressed conservatively in a black turtleneck and pants with boots. I swept a layer of mascara onto my lashes before finishing with a bit of bright lipstick. I looked like a responsible adult, I thought as I smoothed my hair and pulled on my coat.
