I forgave Destiny for her ultimate betrayal of sleeping with Montie based on the likelihood of my actions leading her to react in an illogical way. But the biggest reason I forgave her was because I knew, without a shadow of a doubt, the most important part of her belonged to me. I never doubted I had her heart. I just hoped she would find it in her heart to be as lenient, if the mess Justine pulled tonight ever hit the fan.
I was standing by the car with Destiny wrapped in my jacket, holding her in my arms. I helped her into the front seat of my car and Tasha got into the backseat. I drove Tasha to pick up her car and we headed home.
“Do you want to stop and get something to eat?” I asked Destiny, once we were approaching a few restaurants.
A tear fell from her eyes as she sighed. “No, I’m not hungry.”
It wasn’t long before I pulled into our long, winding driveway. The garage door opened and I pulled in and put the car in park. I reached over to push her hair behind her ear. “I’m calling Mom right now and she’s going to apologize to you,” I said.
“No, Jacob, I’m the one that should be sorry. I let your mother bring me out of my character and I feel so stupid for doing that. I should’ve kept cool and walked away. After all, she is your mother and at the very least that’s a reason for me to respect her.”
“Mom has shown you nothing but disrespect, and I’d never ask you to respect anyone who disrespects you,” I said. I could feel my entire body tense as I thought about the shady things Mom had done. “This incident has taken the disrespect to a new level.”
“Yeah, but that’s on both of our parts. I should not have put my hands on her. Your mother is twice my age. There is no reason we should be fighting.”
“On that much I agree,” I said, finally acknowledging my disappointment in her actions. “Her being twice your age and my mother should be reason enough for her to treat you with respect, Destiny,” I added blowing off fumes.
“I don’t feel good about this at all. You may not feel it now, but I fear it will cause problems for us later.”
I ran my fingers through my hair briefly. “Look, we’ve both had a long day. Right now, let’s just go in the house and relax. I’ll talk to Mom first thing in the morning, and what I want to see happen is an apology from her.”
I got out and went around to open the door for her. I helped her out the car and followed her through the entrance, which led to the kitchen. “I owe Mrs. Turner an apology, too,” Destiny said as she plopped down on the bottom stair and ran her hands up and down the sides of her dress.
“Yeah, you do. I understand how you must’ve felt being pushed to your limit though. It’s not like this all started today.”
Destiny looked as if the day had taken her through the ringer. The glow she wore when she left the house earlier was replaced with a solemn expression. Her hair was flat against her face and her makeup had faded away. “Jacob…will you sit here and hold me?” she asked, reaching for my hand.
I sat down beside her and wrapped her up in my arms. “You had a rough day. Let’s go upstairs and I’ll run you a hot bath so you can relax,” I said as I pulled her closer to me.
“No, I just want to sit right here for a minute.”
“Destiny, you can’t sit around and pine over this. I won’t allow it.”
“How can we go forward with our relationship if my relationship with her is so horrible? After all, this is the woman who birthed you,” she said.
“Do you think I don’t know my mother? I do. I knew when I started dating you she wouldn’t exactly be thrilled. I didn’t let that deter me from what I wanted, which was you. The question is can you handle all the nuances that come with being my wife?”
I searched her eyes for a genuine answer. I had forgiven her for her betrayal with Montie. I didn’t know if I could overlook her not standing strong for our love again. If she couldn’t be strong for us, then we might as well throw in the towel.
“Jacob, nothing or no one will ever convince me that you’re not right for me, ever again. I promise to love you forever,” she said looking deep into my eyes.
“And I will love you forever,” I replied, running my hand along the side of her face.
“I’m prepared not to speak to your mother ever again after what happened today. I’d hoped things could be better between us, but this is where I draw the line. I think it’s best we stay away from each other.”
“Understood,” I said, knowing we’d allowed too many people into our relationship for one day. I had every intention on spending the rest of our evening relaxing, just the two of us. “Come with me,” I said reaching for her hand.
“Where are we going?” she asked.
“To spend the night in our beautiful home loving on one another like it’s supposed to be.” I could see the apology lingering in her eyes as she gazed into mine. “I want you to also promise that you won’t even think about what happened today for the rest of the night,” I added.
“I will try.”
I stopped in the middle of the stairway. “Trying is not good enough. Promise me.”
“I will not think about what happened today,” she assured me.
We ascended the stairs and entered our bedroom. I went into the bathroom and prepared a nice, hot bath. After lighting a few candles around the tub, I peeled Destiny’s form-fitting dress away from her body and helped her into the soothing bath.
Watching her rest her head on the bath pillows and take a deep breath made me remember why I loved her so much. She was so delicate, so lovely. I took off my clothes and slid in the tub behind her. She rested her head against my chest, as we diminished our physical selves and became one in spirit. The weight of the day’s troubles slowly slid away from our consciences.
Chapter 14
Clara
How Can You Deny Love?
“Oh, John, I’ve had such a great time with you these past few days. I simply don’t know how to thank you for showing me such a good time,” I said, and I must’ve been smiling from ear to ear. No matter how much I tried to control my affection around John, I was fighting a losing battle. My true feelings were starting to show through more and more.
“No thanks are necessary, Clara. I’m just glad to see that smile on your face again.”
“Aw, thanks, well, I could repay you with a slice of my sweet potato pie. What do you say?” I said, heading toward the kitchen. “I baked a fresh one last night.”
John rubbed his stomach contemplating my offer. “Woman, I’m going to gain so many pounds, if you keep rewarding me with your scrumptious desserts.”
“Oh, stop fretting and come on in this kitchen and have a seat.”
John sat down at the table and waited patiently for me to place a nice helping of sweet potato pie and a glass of warm milk in front of him “When did you learn how to cook so good?” he asked before taking his first bite of pie.
“My mama taught me everything she knew, so I really owe it all to her. Is it good?” I asked with a blush. After the look he gave me when he took his first bite, I already knew he was in love with the texture and sweetness of the dessert.
“Mmmmh, umph! This is delicious, Clara,” he said rewarding me with another look that said he wouldn’t mind doing more than eating my sweet potato pie. I looked away, careful not to entertain any thoughts about John getting me in bed. We had so much further to go before that would even be a consideration.
“Thanks,” I said blushing again. I had been blushing so much around John that I seemed to be stuck on giddy. I took me some time to realize John and I spent years of our lives longing for times such as these, and I was deserving of every smile he put on my face.
“Umph, thanks to you for being such a talented cook and sharing your culinary skills with me,” he said. My eyes nearly glazed over with joy as he scrapped up the last piece into his mouth a few minutes later.
“You’re more than welcome, John. Do you want some more?”
“Oh, no, that was plenty,�
� John said as he wiped the sides of his mouth with his handkerchief and stood up.
“Are you about to leave?” I asked, jumping to my feet as well.
“No I was just about to come around and give you a hug for making such good food,” he said on a laugh. “But if you’re ready for me to go, I could always…” he said with a raised brow and hope in his voice.
“I’m not particularly ready to be alone, just yet,” I said, honestly. “I would love it if you would stay for a while longer.”
“I hoped you would say that,” John said.
“I was thinking we could listen to some good old jazz and talk about old times, again,” I said. “I enjoyed our talk the other night.”
“That would be nice. What records do you have?” he asked.
“I’m sure I have some John Coltrane I could dust off and spin,” I said with a smile.
We went into the living room and I found an old Coltrane album. Of course, it needed to be wiped down before I opened my Crosley record player and blew the dust from it, as well. I gently placed the vinyl record on the player and dropped the needle on the outermost part. Soon, the sultry blend of Coltrane’s My Favorite Things filled the room.
When I turned to look at John, his expression was serious. He was holding his hand out to me for a dance. I gave him my hand and he immediately began to waltz around the room while holding me close. I allowed the music to carry me away as I followed his lead.
With each step I traveled back a year, until I was back in 1972 kissing John for the very first time. My youthful innocence of yesteryear froze me in place as his lips inched slowly toward mine. Once his soft, tasty lips connected with mine and parted, I moaned against the gentle assault of his tongue. I remembered the moment so vividly. I fell in love with him right in that moment as time froze, and I was doing it again as we both stood in the middle of my living room, kissing ever so sweet and gently to the sounds of Coltrane.
“Clara,” he said as his hand slipped low around my waist and pulled me closer to him.
“John,” I replied as my hands went around his neck and eased up the nape of his neck and into his hair.
“I have something to give you,” he said, as he sprinkled kisses across my lips. He kissed me long and hard against my lips once more before removing a package from his jacket. It was a medium sized envelope that he’d handwritten my name on.
“What is this?” I asked as I took the envelope from him.
“There are so many things I want to say to you that I don’t have the heart to say, especially since finding out I left you with my child growing in your belly,” he said as if the thought of not being there for his child pained him to no end.
“John, it was my fault for not telling you.”
“Either way, it pained me to know I didn’t do the right thing by you and my child back then. I just feel so blessed to be able to do the right thing now.”
“What are you saying, John?” I asked as he walked over and turned down the volume on the record player.
“Read the contents of this package. I wrote them in seventy six when I was feeling the brunt of losing you. My thoughts and feelings were all over the place and I didn’t know what to do, so I wrote a letter every time I felt lost. Some of them are short, but I wrote a lot.”
I unraveled the tie at the top of the envelope and pulled out a stack of papers that were bound together by ribbon. “Wow, this looks like a mini novel, John.”
“I had a lot on my mind,” he said on a laugh.
“Well, I guess you did,” I said, joining in on his laughter.
I sat down on the sofa and began reading the first page. There in vivid detail John began to chronicle everything from the moment he came to tell me he was moving away to the day he moved into his dormitory at Yale to the day he married Tammy. I read about how Tammy comforted him in a time when he was grieving the loss of our relationship. He sat silent as I read page by page. The passage on the last page read:
Nothing in my heart will let me part with the ring I bought for Clara, the woman of my dreams, my heart, and my love. Clara, I will hold on to this ring and remember your beautiful smile, your wonderful glow and the lovely way your body holds mine in place from so many miles away. I will always love you, until we meet again in body and/or spirit.
Noticing I reached the last page, John said, “And now that we’ve met again. I want you to wear this ring and let it signify my love for you, a love that never died.”
“Oh, John,” I said as he got down on bended knee. “What are you saying? What kind of ring is this, John?”
“Clara Denise Baker, this ring is a token of my love for you. Will you be my wife?”
I placed the papers and the envelope down on the coffee table. I held the ring in between my fingers, flipping it over from side to side. I thought of a young John purchasing the ring for me, only to tie it to a piece of ribbon and place it in an envelope for decades. I thought about all the tears I shed and the heartache I endured after he left me.
Then, I thought of how I pushed him away and dared him to come back and check on me. I thought about how his heart poured out in every letter. I thought about how much joy he’d brought into my life since we reconnected. The smiles we shared. The deep, burning passion. I thought about it all. Most of all I thought about one very good reason why I couldn’t be his wife.
I opened my hand and held the ring out for him. “John, you already have a wife.”
“I never had a helpmate or a wife. And as my divorce goes through finalization, I want you to know I’m not playing any games this time around. I’m giving you this ring right now because it feels right.”
“John, this all sounds too good to be true, but…”
“No if, ands, or buts. I have people working overtime to get my divorce agreement ready to sign. As soon as you can legally become my wife, I want you to be my wife. But please know that in here,” he said placing his hand over his heart. “You are already my wife.”
I looked into his eyes and said, “Let’s just give it some more time, John.”
“Clara, this is our second chance.”
“And I want to take it. I really do. I just think it’s premature to step into one relationship when the first one is incomplete.”
John stood up and began to pace. “If us being together is premature, what exactly have we been doing here, Clara? What’s the point in all of the dates, sweet potato pie eating, and reminiscing? We need to accept what we have here because father time is ticking, and neither one of us is getting younger.”
I walked toward the kitchen and stood in the doorway. I watched John pace the floor and talk about our reconnection. He had a point. We had picked up like we never stopped. He had begun to flow through my blood like a river and he was divorcing Tammy. What was I running away from?
John walked over and stood in front of me and I could feel he electricity shoot from his body to mine. And then it hit me, I was running away from this feeling of happiness. For so long, I told myself I would never find true love or happiness. Now that love itself was floating in the air, I wasn’t prepared to accept it.
“You are a strong woman. You’ve been strong for so long and for so many people, Clara,” John digressed. “I think it’s time you let me be strong for you. Let your guard down and open up to a chance to love again. Let me flow through you smooth like Coltrane, and I promise to give you all of your favorite things.”
John’s huge smile caused me to giggle. “You want to be like Coltrane huh? Give a girl all of her favorite things?” I flirted along with him.
“If you will take my hand Clara, there’s no limit to where we’ll go,” he said leaning in closer to me. Once again, his hands slipped low around my waist and pulled me to him. This time, he cupped my hips and pressed me hard against his hardening body.
My arms flew around his neck and I kissed him without restraint. Any other time, I would’ve pushed him away, but I was tired of fighting back the undeniable feeling of
passion I had any time I was near him. I let go and lived in the moment. I may not have been ready to commit to marriage, but mercy. His body next to my body was an act of nature that was hard to deny.
“I want you so bad right now,” he whispered against my ear.
“John,” I gasped through a moan.
“You don’t understand the amount of restraint I’m using so I won’t rip your clothes off where you stand, Clara.”
His hot breath tickling my ear was a pure aphrodisiac. I took his hand into mine and guided it to the top button of my shirt. He peered into my eyes for confirmation and I nodded. I was tired of running from my feelings.
“Don’t hurt me again,” I said as I grabbed his eager hand that had already started unbuttoning my blouse.
“Never ever again,” he said until he unbuttoned the last button. He had officially caught me in his web and once again.
*
I awakened to the sound of John snoring in the bed beside me at six a.m. He had one arm around my back, so I had to remove it before I was able to turn over on my back. Once I turned over, I stared at the ceiling and took a deep breath remembering the wonderful night we shared.
“John,” I said, nudging him so he could wake up and go home. He didn’t budge.
I sat up in bed and rubbed my eyes as my house phone began ringing. I picked it up on the third ring. It was Destiny.
“Hey, honey, what are you doing calling so early?” I asked as I slipped out of bed.
“Sorry, Mama, I know it’s early. I had a bad day yesterday and I needed to talk to you.”
“Baby girl, you sound sad. What’s bothering you?” I asked, gripping the phone closer to my ear.
“Well, I went out to eat with Tasha yesterday and we ran into Mrs. Turner and a few of her friends,” Destiny began.
“She didn’t bother you, did she?”
“Of course, she started talking slick out her mouth. She was talking about me and then she started talking about you. Before I knew anything, I blacked out and hit her and then I spit on her,” Destiny said as her breathing became audible on the phone.
Breathless 3: In Love With An Alpha Billionaire Page 10
