He sat next to Daniel and closed his eyes. His recent past had to be laid to rest. In two weeks time, after his last meeting with Martin, he would escape Boston and start anew in a place where no painful memories could haunt him—ever again.
Chapter Two
“Stay with me, Liza, until I sleep.” Kitty tried to appear brave, but the sheen in her eyes told Eliza more than Kitty would ever admit.
“Of course I’ll stay with you.”
Eliza tucked the heavy blue and white quilt around her sister’s slim body. The fire crackled, casting gloomy shadows across the walls. The weight of her new responsibilities pressed upon her like a snow-capped mountain and the helplessness that shadowed Kitty’s once bright features deepened the heaviness.
“Liza? What do we do now?”
Eliza shook her head. She’d been contemplating the same question since Father’s death four days ago.
“God will help us, Kitty. I know He will.” She brushed a few strands of dark auburn hair from her sister’s porcelain face. “Aunt Grace will continue to check on us from time to time, and we can always turn to her for help now that Bess and Jed are gone. We don’t need servants anymore, we know how to run this home.”
“I suppose we do.”
“I know we do. I haven’t the least bit of concern in that respect. However, we will have to rely on Providence now more than ever I believe.”
“Aren’t we supposed to feel His strength in times of trial? I don’t feel anything but sadness. Where is He, Liza?” Kitty’s tears brimmed again, begging for an answer.
Eliza tried to smile. “He’s with us, Kitty. He’s with us.” She wiped Kitty’s tears. “He will not leave us comfortless. He’s promised us that. We must do as Father always taught us to do. We must trust Him.”
Kitty’s mouth lifted in a tight half-smile, then she turned away on her side. Eliza massaged Kitty’s shoulder and stroked her arm, praying.
Lord, I am lost. Carry me through my grief.
When Kitty’s breathing slowed and her face at last was peaceful, Eliza got up and tip-toed down the stairs. The sun drifted downward and although weary in both body and mind, Eliza couldn’t sleep.
Once in the parlor, Eliza paused and swept her gaze across the lonely room. The furniture and modest decorations within the sturdy two-story home were the same, yet they lacked luster and their usual welcoming nature. The dwindling fire in the fireplace pleaded for stoking, and Eliza complied, occupying her fatigued mind for at least a moment.
While she poked at the charred wood, a whisper warmed her ears. The note.
Eliza straightened and a trickle of shivers spread over her. She turned around, half expecting Father to be standing there, his eyes twinkling. But the room remained vacant. She inhaled through open lips. Aye, the note. Thank you, Father. With the funeral and all the visitors they’d had since Father’s passing she had yet to experience a moment of quiet. Until now.
She opened the small wooden box on the table next to Father’s favorite chair and retrieved it for the first time since the evening he died.
Pressing it to her chest, she turned and stared with longing at the small family portrait above the mantel. Of the five happy faces gazing back at her, only two still lived—she and Kitty. A shudder rattled down her back and she moved her tearful eyes away.
If not for me, one more would still be living.
Her body chilled. She had to escape before the memories devoured her. Stepping through the cozy parlor toward the backdoor, Eliza passed Father’s study. The entry to his favorite space enticed her to come and surround herself with happier memories. She reached for the handle, then froze. Her fingers lingered only a breath from the cold brass. What was she thinking? She couldn’t do this. The joyful memories would only remind her of all she’d lost.
Eliza tried to swallow, but the rock in her throat thickened. A storm within her chest released its thundering power and she ran to the backdoor, out of the house and down the meadow behind her home. Slumping into the tall grass, Eliza wept. Her chest and limbs tightened as she buried her face into her skirt and wailed, a long hollow cry.
When her tears turned to hiccups, she wiped her cheeks and broke the seal of the letter. Surely Father’s words would comfort her.
Dearest Eliza,
I have not energy to write much, but a few lines will suffice.
Here is the truth; I am not a Tory as I was believed to be. I am a member of the Sons of Liberty and have been acting as a spy for these four years and was not free to speak of it to anyone.
Forgive me for not disclosing the truth. However, this must remain a secret, so as to keep the other spies in safety. Do not tell Kitty. I fear that she is not yet ready to know such things. Let it come to her in God’s time. But I could not die without you knowing the truth of my actions and beliefs.
I am weary, and cannot write more, but will issue this last word of caution. You must beware of Captain Martin. He is not a man to be trusted.
Find the truth, my daughter. Have courage. The cause of freedom is most vital. The future relies upon us.
Forever,
Your Father
This could not be. This could not be!
Eliza’s hands shook, her lungs seized.
Her father was a traitor.
“Eliza?”
Samuel!
Eliza shoved the note in her skirt pocket and turned to meet her comforter. Her pulse hammered and her mind reeled from the words she’d just read, but the gentleness in Samuel’s soft blue eyes reached through the pain and cradled her quivering heart.
“I thought I might find you here.” Always the gentleman, Samuel assisted Eliza to her feet. His tender gaze draped around her like a blanket of sun-kissed flowers. His warm, spicy scent enveloped her and she lost herself in his strong embrace.
Father had to be wrong about Samuel. Of course he was a man to be trusted. Next to Kitty, Samuel was all Eliza had left in her life.
The horrifying contents of Father’s note settled deep in her soul and her body trembled from the shock. She buried her face in Samuel’s crimson uniform and gripped his back.
Father had raised them to love and serve the king—to honor and respect him. How could he have lied all these years?
She clung to Samuel even tighter. Oh, how she needed comfort. And if anyone could comfort her, it was Samuel.
In all the years Samuel had known Eliza, this was the first time he’d ever seen her beautiful brown eyes puffy from crying.
She wept so, that his own eyes were hot with tears. Her arms wrapped around him, tightening the rope of affection that circled his heart. How he longed to take away all her pain and grief, and replace it with love. If only he had been able to leave his duties sooner, she may not have been alone and weeping for so long.
Stroking her back, Samuel spoke in hushed tones. “Not to worry, my love. Cry as much as you need.”
Over time, her sobbing subsided and turned to periodic sniffling. He rested his mouth against her lacey cap, taking long breaths, savoring the rose scent that always followed her.
Eliza pushed away and wiped her tears. Without delay, he reached into his pocket and pulled out a handkerchief.
“Thank you,” she said, accepting his offering.
He moved away a strand of tear-matted hair from her face. Her dear, sweet face. Then, tipping her chin upward, he forced her to look at him.
“Forgive me for not coming back until now. I tried my best to get away, but they kept finding new ways to keep me busy.”
Eliza lowered her lashes. “Your work is important. I understand.” She dabbed at her cheeks again. “How did you know I would be here?”
He grinned. “This is your favorite spot when you want to be alone, is it not? Who knows you better than I?”
With tender hands he cupped her face. Brushing her soft skin with his thumb, he soaked in the beauty of the woman he loved. The small delicate mole on her left cheekbone enhanced her bewitching features and he
swelled with longing. Samuel loved every blessed thing about her. She was meant to be with him—forever.
“Are you feeling any better now?”
She looked away and clutched the paper she’d tucked into her skirts. His muscles tightened. Something wasn’t right.
“What’s troubling you, Eliza? Has it to do with that paper you were reading?”
Her chin shot upward and her eyes were wide for only a second before she glanced down, refusing to meet his gaze.
“’Tis only a note from Father. His last words to me.” She pressed her lips together and drew in a long breath through her nose as if straining to remain composed. A slight breeze whispered past, making small tendrils of hair caress her cheek as she spoke. “I’m simply struggling with my grief.”
Samuel’s heart pinched. He moved his hands to her shoulders and lowered his tone. “This may seem sudden, Eliza, but I must be allowed to speak openly.”
She raised her eyebrows. “Of course.”
He let out a long sigh before continuing. “’Tis no secret how much I care for you. With your Father now gone, you and Kitty will need the care and influence of a man and I am willing—I want to take care of you for the rest of my days, Eliza. Please let me.” He paused and took another breath. “I want you to be my wife. I love you.”
His hands numbed as he waited for her reply. They’d talked of marriage many times but he’d never officially declared his feelings.
Eliza’s blood rushed to her face. That must be a good sign. She must love him in return.
A stabbing thought struck his brain. Then again, perhaps she didn’t.
Samuel stumbled over his words. “I’d ask for your Father’s blessing, if he were here, of course. But I feel certain he would approve.”
She blinked wildly for a moment and gripped again at the fabric of her dress. Her breathing increased, but when she said nothing his heart pounded, a sinking sensation pushing down into his gut.
“Do not you agree, Eliza?”
Eliza opened her mouth but closed it again without a sound then looked away. The soft muscles of her jaw flexed as she gazed toward the house.
The silence continued and he couldn’t stop the cannon blast of nerves shooting off in his gut. “Well, what do you say?”
She pulled from his gentle grasp, ripping his heart from his chest as she distanced herself. He could see a far-off stare in her eye. Why hadn’t she leapt with joy at his proposal, as he’d believed she would? They were meant for each other, she must know that. They loved each other. Of that he had no doubt.
Something kept her from accepting him.
He pleaded with his eyes. “I know a soldier’s life isn’t always suitable for one’s spouse, but if you will have me, I promise to give you every possible happiness and fill every need.”
“What of . . . what of the patriots? What if they . . .” She shook her head and pressed her lips into a thin line once again.
“What of them? Why should anyone give a dog’s ear about the patriots? ‘Tis not a woman’s place to be concerned with such things, Eliza.”
She flung her gaze to him, a fleeting question darting across her face, but she replaced it the next second with another reluctant smile. “I . . . I suppose you are right.”
He placed a hand on his sword and looked over his shoulder across the small bay, toward the city of Boston. “If those bumbling patriots believe they can fight and win even one battle against our army they’re more brainless than I imagined.”
Turning back to her, Samuel frowned. “Why are you suddenly so concerned with them?”
The orange sunset crowned Eliza’s dark hair like a halo. A tight grin fanned her face before she answered, speaking to the ground. “Well, there is much going on—‘tis in all the papers. And, I’m . . . I’m worried. What if, what if the conflict escalates?”
He straightened. “Even if it does, which I doubt, I don’t see why that must interfere with our plans to marry.” Samuel took her hand and tugged her closer. “I love you, Eliza. That’s all that matters. Besides, you can’t take care of Kitty by yourself. I can take that responsibility. Please let me.”
Eliza tensed and drew back. “You don’t think I can care for Kitty? She’s practically a woman herself. I don’t see why—”
“Eliza.” Samuel sighed and tipped his head to the sky with a groan. “My words betray me. ’Twas not what I meant. I simply know of your fears and I want to help ease them.” Ignoring the warning that sounded in his mind, he lowered his head in a long, slow movement, until his lips touched hers with a feather-lightness, igniting a raging blaze within. He pulled away, his heart crashing against his ribs. “You will marry me. I know you will.”
Her dark eyes rose to his and beckoned for more. He bent to kiss her again, but she placed her palm on his chest.
“Do you really believe the patriots are fools? Maybe they—”
“Eliza!” His patience snapped and it took mounds of strength to keep his voice even. He’d just kissed her and that was all she could think about? “I’ve only now confessed my love to you—offered you my life. Why are you so consumed with political matters? Are you trying to kill me with waiting?”
She looked away and her shoulders slumped.
“Forgive me, Eliza, but I must know your answer—‘tis too painful for me otherwise. I’ve waited for years for this moment—don’t deny me now.” He dipped his head and scolded her with an intense stare. “As I have said, ‘tis not a woman’s place to be concerned with politics. I shall be the one taking care of such things. All that matters is our love.”
She studied her feet and wrung the handkerchief in her fingers, still not answering.
The ugly question hopped from his mouth. “Do you not return my love?”
She paused and took a long breath before meeting his gaze. “Samuel, please.” The look in her bottomless eyes killed his last hope. “I care for you a great deal, you know that.” Moving closer, Eliza reached up to stroke the lapel of his jacket. “I cannot accept. Not right away.”
Her words stung the same as if she’d slapped him across the face. He rubbed his jaw. She couldn’t be serious.
Eliza put the handkerchief to her mouth for a brief moment. “It’s too soon after Father’s death. I’m sorry, Samuel.” She covered his hand and circled it with her thumb, but the tender motion did nothing to soothe his wounded pride.
“I don’t understand.” Samuel grabbed her by the shoulders again. “You can’t tell me no, Eliza. We are meant to be together.”
When she made no reply he did the only thing he could think of. He leaned forward and before she could move away, he pulled her body against his, capturing her mouth with his own. Her warm, soft lips sent liquid passion through his veins. Her gentle curves intoxicated him, and when she didn’t pull away he strengthened the kiss until her slight arms wound around his neck. So she did love him!
He could have kissed her until the sun set and rose again the next day, but that would have to wait. Samuel lifted his head as masculine pride welled through him. She couldn’t kiss him like that and not love him. “Say you’ll marry me, Eliza. I need to hear you say it.”
She put her hand to her mouth as her eyes darted back and forth between his. “Samuel.” Her voice quivered. “I know . . . I know it seems like the right time for marriage, but for me, it is not.”
He blinked. She couldn’t be serious. But she was.
Her eyes found his and the struggle in her lovely face nailed his boots to the ground. “Father has just now been buried and I am overwhelmed with grief. I cannot accept—not right now.” A tear trickled down her cheek. “Forgive me, Samuel. I know you’ll understand. I don’t want to hurt you.”
Samuel tried to hide a bitter laugh. He’d never been more hurt in his life. He ground his palm into the handle of his sword. What a fool he’d been. How could he have imagined she would accept a proposal now? Of course she needed more time.
They remained silent as he gathered his tho
ughts and tried to suppress the whirlwind of emotions coursing through him.
“I understand.” He brushed her cheek and leaned toward her again. “There’s no one in this world for me but you. I would wait forever.”
Samuel pulled Eliza against him, the touch of her body fogging his brain like wine. He needed one more kiss, just one more. He moved his lips across hers, over her cheeks and up to her ear, inhaling once again her sweet, womanly scent.
He whispered low, hoping his breath sent a warm tingle down her neck. “You belong to me, Eliza Campbell.”
Eliza pulled away, staring at Samuel, and clutched the soft fabric of the neckerchief at her chest. A spray of gooseflesh coated her arms. Such a kiss should only exist between husband and wife. Dear Lord, forgive me.
Samuel smiled, his crystal eyes shining as he scanned her face. He pulled his shoulders back, accentuating his strong frame under his perfectly tailored uniform. Keeping his clear gaze on her, he backed away a few steps then bowed, turned, and walked through the field, around the house and out of sight.
She stilled and brushed her mouth with her fingers.
Three kisses! And not all polite kisses to be sure. He’d wanted to make his feelings so clear that she could not misunderstand his intensions. She knew him well enough to know that.
She gripped the handkerchief tighter. No, she did not misunderstand.
They had spoken of marriage and their future together many times, so his proposal was not entirely unexpected. But how could she accept? Her hands still quivered. She gazed at the sky that had turned from orange to purple as several stars decorated the heavens. Hugging her arms, she started toward the house, the long blades of grass whipping against her skirts as she walked.
There was no question in her mind that she would have accepted Samuel if not for Father’s letter. As much as she wanted to dismiss the warning, it resounded in her ears. Yet again, she tried to brush them from her memory. Father had to be wrong. And even though she didn’t truly love Samuel, her feelings were strong and might grow stronger. They would make a good match and she would be happy enough. Besides, who else could she turn to? Eliza scowled at the ground. There was something in Samuel’s smile that sat wrong in her belly. How was it she’d never seen it before? Surely it was nothing—just nerves. They knew each other well and had similar ideals. Didn’t they?
So Fair a Lady (Daughters of His Kingdom Book 1) Page 2
